Title: 102 More Ways to Kill Scrappy

Author: LM Simpson

Rating: M

Warning(s): Character bashing, violent and other suggestive content

Disclaimer: I will never own Scooby-Doo, or any people/places/things mentioned in this series.

Other tidbits: I have at last returned, everyone. The original 101WTKS was originally intended as a stress reliever, and this one has the same purpose. Unless I get into a truly out-of-funk period like this one again, don't expect me to return after all 102 installments of this; if I do return to the Scooby-Doo category, it would most likely be for a non-related drabble or oneshot.

Once again, see my profile's "Flame Policy" for more information about what kind of reviews I accept.

Enjoy!

Method One: Futuristic Laser Gun

1111

Mystery Inc. found themselves on the malt shop floor, unable to remember neither the previous hour, nor any recent time for that matter.

"Like, what happened to us, guys?" Shaggy asked.

"I don't know, Shaggy," Fred replied, rubbing his forehead. "The last thing I remember is the Mystery Machine out of gas near a haunted house… And seeing them!"

Fred pointed to a teenaged duo pressing their palms and noses against the glass. The boy wore a black tee-shirt and blue jeans, while the girl wore a white tee-shirt and blue jeans. Both donned gray jackets with a design on the left breast pocket.

Realizing the quintet noticed them, the two ran off. Once the windowless walls concealed them, the humans and their dog ran out of the parlor and towards the back.

"Jinkies, they're gone…"

"Okay gang, they couldn't have gone too far. Let's split up—Daphne and Velma, you two and me will go through that back door behind us. Shaggy and Scooby, go track them in the parking lot."

"Rye rus?" Scooby asked.

"Because dogs have extremely good sense of smell," said Velma. "Now go on, my favorite hams!"

And with that, the teams carried out their game plan without remembering to offer the refusing Shaggy and Scooby Scooby Snacks. They stood there for a few minutes before starting to the front of the malt shop with the Great Dane sniffing the floor. Upon scanning three-fifths (or three of the five parking spaces), Shaggy realized:

"Hey Scooby… Do we even know what scent we're looking for?"

"I ron't row."

"Sigh… Let's go back then." His eyes suddenly brightened. "Maybe all of the sundae topping surplus is there…"

Scooby emitted an "Mmm…" and turned to the building's side. Upon arriving at the back door, Shaggy pushed on the knob…

The next time the friends woke up, they were rope-bound in plain wooden chairs. Velma was at Scooby's side, and Daphne and Fred at Shaggy's. The quintet found themselves held hostage in a white-painted wall housing old movie posters and not-too-shabby Swedish furniture. Their situation grew further perplexing as they discovered two futher occupants…

"Why did you capture us?" Daphne said, securing herself an honorable mention that she attempted to make herself useful for once.

The boy replied, sounding like Keanu Reeves with more emotion. "We have brought you here to our headquarters under orders from our boss. Stacey here is plugging the TV and TiVo so you guys can further accomplish our mission statement, which we shall both now quote."

Stacey paused, stood up, exposes both middle fingers and recited with her partner: "We of the I Hate Scrappy Doo Society shall express hatred and call out death threats of our target when appropriate and kill him in many different ways by brainwashing his party and party potentials, dash The I Hate Scrappy Doo Society Official Recruitment Brouchure."

Stacey and the boy, Harvey, resumed their duties. Harvey continued, "Stacey is about to initiate phase one of three. Before we leave I shall leave a book in front of you guys. Take it, read it. Don't forget the passage in the very back, either—otherwise there's no fun with this, hmm?"

Contrary to Mystery Inc.'s beliefs, it was not the first time they viewed the brainwashing Children's Cartoon Axis of Evil. Three hours of Teletubbies, Boobah, and Go, Diego! Go! later, the group became living zombies—the worst oxymoron one can create. With their mission debriefed, the duo handed a bonus gift: a gun that resembled a toy gun that shot bubbles instead of bullets. And with that, the group left, found the Mystery Machine mysteriously outside, and drove back home with the gun and book.

Life was like a hurricane at the Rogers residence. The house was in ruins as Scrappy attacked burglars with (what else?) puppy power.

As it gave the group the opportunity to make the puppy's death appear to be an accident, it was time to strike. Velma readied, aimed, and faster than one can say "Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes," it was a dog-blur of red light striking Scrappy and the three anthropomorphic burglars, causing them to drop in a pile of ashes and bodies from the knee-caps up.

Before a draft from the open living room and window could carry the powdery remains away and rewrite history, Velma (whoo!) dropped the gun, opened a book titled Killing Methods: Conducted by the I Hate Scrappy Doo Society to its back, and read the spell on the back cover to resurrect Scrappy and the Beagle Boys so that everyday they would be out there making dog tales (whoo!) and I mean tales of daring do bad and good luck tales.

THE END