Spoken Silently
Disclaimer: I do now own Bleach.
Warnings: Pairings and mentions of certain topics.
Music Choice: Never Let This (Paramore)

--X--

He doesn't mind it when he is ignored; it's something he is used to.

But as he sees her sitting there, on the fence in the back of Urahara's store, he wishes she'd turn around to see him. The setting sun gives her hair a glittery look and her figure is outlined by it, all the more appealing. Just standing on the back porch, he can feel she's relaxed. But he has a desire to step in front of her and be granted to set his eyes on her face—he pictures it instead: calm but trained.

Usually, when he sees her here, it's the cat form she stalks through the shop in. He doesn't see her dark skin or the way her long hair trails down her back, like an ink pen's perfect stroke on paper. He doesn't hear her true voice often (only in battle), even though he wishes to. He doesn't know what it's like to have a friendly conversation with her, to know what she's fond of and what she dislikes.

So he buries it away and dismisses it as meaningless thoughts.

It's a longing, he knows. As Urahara tells him to lay a bowl of milk out on the table, he slightly wonders if it's a normal routine that the two have been doing for years and he feels a tinge of jealousy. He never has had something like that Rukia (wasn't given the chance, really) and it appears special and sacred, no matter how small it is. Perhaps they have other traditions, big or small. And he feels empty because he feels as if he could initiate something now.

There's always something he feels, a connection maybe, when he thinks of her. Perhaps she's that starting point, a way for him to begin all over again because he so desperately wants to. She's never made eye contact with him and he doesn't blame her. He's not only from a poor background; he isn't exactly the most respected man, despite his rank. She's the princess—truly a princes, inside and out—and is a legend for her powers. Respected, even though she 'betrayed' them all. Loved, because how could you not?

So he settles for watching her from afar. It's better that way, he thinks. Because that's how it was (is) with Rukia and he figures he can deal with it now. It's not all that bad, he tries to train himself to believe.

But he decides not to watch her tomorrow and stays true to that.

--X--

She walks in; silent grace in her steps and seats herself at the table, where the fresh milk was just recently placed. He doesn't notice her as he's putting away leftovers until she sits and even then, he believes he's imagining it. The way her eyes glint in the dim light of the kitchen makes his widen.

And she's not in cat form.

He sees the dark skin and the loose white robe that caresses it. But it seems unfitting to him because she seems too magnificent to be restricted by any type of clothing. And her fingers gently pick the bowl up and she licks the milk from it. He wonders if she sees him until her eyes slice him. Struck, he looses his composure and stares.

"Nice night, isn't it?"

Only a nod, because he doesn't trust his voice around her right now. She slurps the rest of her beloved milk and soft lays it back in its rightful place. Her eyes glint again and she speaks smoothly.

"You know, Renji…" her fingers trace the top of the chair next to her and she taps it. He gets the message and timidly sits besides her, knowing he's giving the impression of a little nervous boy. When he realizes he's staring intently on the table, he glances up to see her gazing back. Their eyes meet and she grins, fangs and all. "You know…I always wondered if we'd ever get to talk again."

"Considerin' the last time we talked, it was about that red head," he mumbles without thinking and realizes it afterwards. He blinks, and sees she's still grinning.

She nods. "I know…"

"I—I should, uh, go," he stands quickly, his chair screeching on the floor. She glances up and he spots a surprising emotion flash through her features. Disappointment. He's surprised because he doesn't think he's really worthy for her attention and he knows that's what she's thinking about. Him? Getting attention from the beautiful princess? No. Not him. "Have a good night, Yoruichi-san…"

He thinks he should have said Yoruichi-sama but Urahara warned him not to a while ago. So he settles for a friendly one. As he strides out of the kitchen, he feels her gaze upon his back. He's ruined his chance for a beginning but he's in unknown territory. And it's uncomfortable. He knows how to admire from afar and he likes it better that way rather than stepping into something he wouldn't' know what to do with.

But she stops that and causes his world to come to a complete halt by a simple calling.

"Renji…"

He stops but doesn't turn. Because he's afraid to.

"I didn't see you watching the sunset with me today."

And he turns around into that unknown territory once again.

--X--
A/N

Maybe he'll learn to step out of his comfort zone more than usual, huh? He'll pull it off. He's Renji.

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