disclaimer: i do not own bleach, its characters, plot, etc.

A/U: for your information, dante ODed in the last chapter.

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When I was fifteen, I had attempted suicide. There was no reason, no rhyme, no purpose. I was not trying to make a statement. I was not trying to prove anything. I had been told that people commited suicide to end the pain, not their life. I did it to end the life, because the highs and lows had become so much that I was destroying my mind, and I didn't want to see myself do it. So, getting the idea from numerous movies, I decided to run a steaming hot bath in our hotel room (at the time), and slit my wrists with an industrial razor. Well, one of them. My tendons were so chewed up I couldn't put it across the other wrist. So I lay back and smoked a cigarette and waited for the black flowers to bloom. I closed my eyes and slipped away.

That metallic feeling of death creeps on you, slowly. And then, when you start to regret it, bang-- it bites you on the ass. I was in stars and in space, and underground in the grave. I thought the fires of hell were swallowing me, but really it was just the water. And the thickness of it was only caused by the amount of blood spouting from the one wrist. The cigarette filter was floating next to my feet. My toes looked very pale and small, and their reflections on the water were surreal.

And then mum came home early.

Anyways, that feeling of floating liquid metal and heat surrounding me was parallel to overdosing. I came out of that darkness, which I thought was death, with a snap. The light was dim in the room and my head was spinning and the only reason why I had awoken was because I was choking on my vomit. Someone turned me over with a grunt, and vomit splattered all onto the floor underneath me, rank smelling. I puked a few more times, and then I realized I was crying. My body hurt all over. I was rolled gently onto my back, and a cool hand smoothed my soaking hair from my forehead. I heard someone asking for mommy, and I realized it was me. I could barely remember who, what, or where I was, all I knew was that I had almost died. Maybe I had died. I heard several muffled voices above, sounding like they were talking through a pillow. My ears were ringing. My throat was so dry it hurt too breathe. Someone lifted my head and tipped cool water down my throat. It slid like an angel's finger.

"There ya go." Someone said next to my ear, a female voice. I was hoisted up by my armpits into a sitting position, and I leaned against a pillow, hiccuping, groaning. My eyes came into focus slowly. Three people were staring at me. One was a black woman, astonishingly beautiful, with cat-like gold eyes and purple-black hair, another a strangely-dressed blonde man that looked a little like Kurt Cobain, and a strange character wearing a ninja costume, sitting cross-legged at the foot of my cot.

"Huh." I said, breath shrieking in my nostrils. "What."

"If you can talk, say something." The blonde man asked.

"Something." I said stupidly, my voice sounding slow. My brain was trying to piece together what happened, but that was hard. Needle. Light. Someone. Flight. Air. Red hair. Renji? School. Okita. "Oh shit."

"I'm sure you're aware, that you've overdosed on heroin." the blonde man said. "You've been here for two days. We were going to take you to the hospital."

"Why didn't you?" I whispered. "Where am I?"

"You're not in a hospital because Nova didn't want you too."

"Nova?" Blonde-guy pointed to ninja, who zipped up his hood, so I couldn't see him at all.

"To answer your other question, you're at the Urahara Shoten. I, myself, am Urahara Kisuke, the owner. That is Shihouin Yoruichi," he pointed to the yellow-eyed woman. "We saved your life."

"Are... are you going to the call the cops?"

"Nope. Although, you're damn lucky you're alive."

"Where's my phone?"

"Here." Kisuke passed me my purse, and with some difficulty, I managed to get my fingers to unzip it. The turtle was gone. I picked up my phone. It was almost dead. There were no calls from my mom, although a few from Uncle Eli. One from the school. It died in my hand. I put it away.

"Thank you." I whispered. "I'll go now."

"What? Oh no, lady, you need to rest for a few days. Do you got family I can call?" I was quiet for a moment. I shook my head.

"Don't bother." I couldn't move my legs. Icy cold fear gripped me. "Am I paralyzed?"

"No, you're just stoned. Here." He passed me a cup of hot tea, and I sipped it. It burned my tongue but tasted wonderful.

"I'm... I'm so sorry."

"Why? Oh, it's okay. Although, it's not everyday Nova shows up with an ODing girl in his arms." That brought up another question.

"How did I get here?" Kisuke was quiet for a moment, and then he smiled for the first time.

"Sleep. I'll explain when you're in your right mind." I obeyed. Nova stayed at the foot of my bed. I stared at him.

"Are you just going to sit there?" I asked.

"Yes." he had not unzipped his hood.

"Did you bring me here?" he nodded. "You saved me." he nodded again. "Man of few words?" Nod again. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, Dante."

"Are you... are you the turtle?" he looked in my general direction.

"Yes." he said, after a moment. "How did you guess?"

"I had an idea. That something wasn't right." I fell asleep. I didn't mind him sitting there. I felt safer.

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I woke up several hours later, feeling much better and much more on my feet then before. Nova was still there. I looked at him and he looked at me, and for a moment I guess he didn't realize that I was awake, and then he blinked those astonishing teal eyes and straightened. "You're awake."

"Yeah. Hey... can you pass me my bag, please?" He did so. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a lighter. My hand was still shaking bad so I had to try again a few times, and I inhaled deeply and let it out with a sigh. "So. You're the turtle." he nodded. "How is that possible?"

"Perhaps Kisuke-kun is the one to explain." he said. "Don't talk too much, though."

"I'm fine." My voice was clearer, stronger. I couldn't exactly walk yet, like I hadn't even tried, but I felt much better. Alive, even. I looked to the small window on the wall, and couldn't tell if it was sunrise or sunset. "What time is it?"

"Quarter past six in the morning."

"You've been sitting here all this time?"

"Well, sort of." he said, and zipped up his hood and went quiet. I hefted myself up to sit better. Then, I got a surprise. In through the door came Kisuke, and the last person I would have thought-- Ichigo. We stared at each other for a moment.

"You two know each other?" Kisuke asked, picking up on the silence fast. Ichigo nodded.

"Yeah. She goes to my school." he said, softly.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad to see you look much better, Dante." I nodded. "And I suppose you would want some explanations?"

"Well, yeah."

"Dante, when you overdosed, Nova happened to be visiting Okita--"

"I already know he's the turtle." I cut him off, flatly. "Remember?"

"Oh yeah. Right." Kisuke snapped out a fan and fanned himself idly. "Well. I guess I'm going to have to tell you everything then, won't I?"

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"You're insane." I said, and tried to get up, and fell right back down. Nova caught me. "Get off!" I snapped, and he wrestled me back down onto the bed. Kisuke sighed, and poked me in the forehead with his cane.

"No, I am not insane, although it probably sounds crazy to you. However, we think heroin is insane, so touche there, darling." I grimaced and glared for a moment, and sipped my tea.

"So. What you're saying, is that Nova is a mod-soul. Hollows eat souls. Shinigami kill them. There's an entire fucking society of them. And no one's ever noticed, or documented it."

"You can't see them. Unless the human has come into very close contact with them, which is what has happened to you."

"I want some proof."

"Oh, you'll see it soon enough. Now, Nova went to your house and got some fresh clothes for you, because your school clothes are all covered in vomit and they are just quite dirty. And don't worry about Okita," he said, as if reading my mind, as I had just been thinking about her-- "We've wiped out her memory. She thinks you fell asleep in the bathroom and she drove you home."

"Great." I looked at Nova. "You went into my stuff?" he zipped his hood up and nodded.

"He's a little shy." Ichigo said at my right side. "You'll get used to it."

"Oh yeah. So, um, can I go home now? My mom... wait, Nova, did you see my mom?" he nodded, after hesitating for a moment. "What was she doing."

"I'd rather not say here." I figured she was doing something bad, so I nodded.

"Was she looking for me."

"No."

"Well," I said, hoping I didn't look as hurt as I felt. I shakily got to my feet. Nova rose with me, all swiftness and grace. "Thank you very much, Mr Urahara." he rose and shook my hand.

"Don't worry, Dante. We'll be seeing a lot of each other. Nova's decided to stay with you to make sure no... complications arise."

"Complications?" I repeated, raising a brow. He nodded. I wanted him to explain, but he shooed us out the door. The early morning sunlight was bright and it stung my eyes, and I dug around in my purse until I found my glasses. "Shit, where are those clothes?" I was still in my crusty uniform. Nova produced them out of seemingly thin air, and we walked to a nearby restaurant, and Nova waited on the roof (!!) and I quickly changed in the washroom. He had grabbed grey sweatpants and a black, fitted hoodie. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked fine, if a little green around the gills, and huge bags hung under my eyes, and I was a fucking ugly mess without make up. I was too tired to put any on, though.

I got outside, and Nova suddenly appeared at my arm.

"You look ill. I'll take you home." He picked me up gently, and I squipped a little, wrapping one arm around his strong neck. He leapt into the air and all the breath left me as my stomach rose and fell with each ascent and descent. We shot across rooftops and I closed my eyes and then suddenly we stopped. I opened my eyes and we were standing in the backyard of my home, outside my window. It was halfway open.

"Jesus." I whispered hoarsely as he gently laid me on my feet. I raked a hand through my windswept hair. "Th-thank you. I guess." My legs were still a little jellied, and Nova nodded, looking down at the ground. There was a moment of silence. A cold wind blew across the lawn. I shivered, folding my arms tightly. My greasy hair plastered itself against my dirty cheek. "You saved my life, didn't you?" He nodded. "Have you been watching me, all this time?" I said, a feeling like my entire body was turning to ice overcoming me. He didn't do anything for a moment, just nodded, turning to look at me. "Oh, Jesus. You saw all that." I looked away, cheeks burning. "I'm sorry. Why didn't you just leave, man?"

"I had a feeling you were going to hurt yourself. So I stuck around." Byfar, the longest sentence he had said so far.

"I can't believe this. Let's go inside. It's fucking freezing." I squirmed in through the window, landing easily on my feet. Nova followed me. "Wait, let me go find mom." I walked out and down to mom's room, opening the door. She was lying on the bed with a skinny guy. Holy fuck. "Chase?!" I said, shocked. The guy who had said I had a nice ass leapt up, shocked.

"DANTE!" he said, surprised. Mom looked up, hair amuss. She smiled.

"Baby, where you been? Chase said you were staying at Okita's 'cause it was closer to school!" I glared at Chase.

"Thanks for your concern." I said, slamming the door. Mom was high. It looked like a crack pipe was festering on the bedside table. My throat clenched. When mom smoked crack, it was best to clear the building until the binge ended. I stormed into my room. Nova was standing by the window. "The fuck are you looking at?" he looked down. "I'm going for a shower."

After my scalding shower, I was clean and fresh and feeling a lot better. Me and Nova sat on the bed and played cards. I taught him how to play poker. I managed to coax out him some more info about the Soul Society. Apparently now I would see hollows. God, I was part of this little crew, now. Nova said I would meet the others soon. Who the "others" were I didn't know. I still wondered if I was fucking crazy. Maybe this was hell. But it felt real. It had to be real.

Mom interrupted a small talk by knocking on the door. I jumped, not expecting her. I had managed to convince Nova that marijuana was okay and I wouldn't die, and I upsetted some tidbits of weed and they fell over the bed and on my legs. Frowning, I looked at the door.

"What?" I barked.

"You got some guy here to see you. Don't know who it is." I groaned and got off the bed, placing the half-rolled joint down.

"Stay here." I said grumpily, and Nova nodded once. I walked out of the room and down the hall. Mom was already disappearing back into her bedroom. My feet padded silently on the hallway carpet, and she turned to look at me, and I ghosted to a stop. "Huh?" Her lower lip was bleeding a tiny bit. Her fresh blisters had split open.

"You know," her voice was high pitched and had a nasal quality to it, like Okita's-- just more unpleasant. Her razor-stubbled legs looked pale and unnatural in the hallway light. She lit a cigarette and blew the smoke directly into my face, a nervous twitch underneath her left eye. "Chase wanted to fuck you. Pretty bad. Did you sleep with him?"

"What? No!" I said, completely offended. "Mom, don't ask me questions like that! Get the fuck in the room before you embarass me."

"We'll talk about this later." she said, and slammed the door in my face. I kicked it for good measure, now very angry. I stormed to the front door and opened it wide, and behind the screen door was Kurosaki Ichigo, looking a little out of place and nervous, hands shoved in his pockets and scowling at something above my head, like at the lamp or something.

"Hey." he said.

"Hello." I opened the screen door. "You wanna come in?" he nodded and stepped inside, letting the door clatter shut behind him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked slowly, as if the words sounded strange coming out of his mouth.

"Sick and tired. What are you doing here?"

"Urahara sent me to make sure you and Nova got back okay."

"Well, I'm fine." We stood awkwardly for a moment, until I remembered my manners. "You want a drink or something?"

"Sure."

"Like what?" I beckoned him over to mom's liquor cabinet, which had been set up sometime while I was gone. God, it felt so weird, I had really been gone almost three whole days and mom didn't even know or care where I was, and although I'm sure there are hundreds of kids in the world who wished their parents were like that, it really wasn't good at all. I was jealous, I realized, of kids who had parents who gave them curfews and rules. I ran around like a fucking animal out of its cage. Look where it got me. Now I was stuck in the middle of something that would probably change my life forever. My palms began to sweat. My stomach clenched. Here they come.

"Um, just water will be nice?"

"Oh, you don't drink-drink?"

"Nah." he shrugged. I shrugged too, poured some vodka and bacardi into a crystal glass, and beckoned him into the kitchen. I got him a tall glass of water from the tap, put in some cream into my liquor and stirred myself a strong white Russian.

"Wanna see Nova?" I asked, and he nodded. I quickly pushed him past mom's room so he wouldn't hear or smell or see anything he shouldn't see. I was kind of regretting letting him inside; I should have made him wait outside, but I always had mom's polite etiquette manners, no matter how drunk or high I was. Or maybe it was dad's side. I opened the door and Nova looked up, not looking surprised at all at the newcomer.

"Hey, Nova. Urahara sent me to check in on you guys."

"We are perfectly alright, Kurosaki-san. Thank you."

"Good." he sipped his water, obviously uncomfortable, staring at the weed on the bed.

"Yeah... I have a headache. Don't rat me out, yeah?" I attempted a smile and he smiled back.

"Yeah, I won't say anything." He graciously refused my offer. I was sitting down on the bed sealing it up when I asked Ichigo a question.

"Hey, Ichigo,"

"Yeah."

"What's it like to be a soul reaper?" I asked. Despite myself, I was interested, and at least it would distract me from the whole heroin withdrawal, which was giving me killer cramps and it felt like I was going to keel over and vomit any second now. I lay down instead, suddenly exhausted. I sparked up my joint and listened to him tell of several small adventures, and then he told me about hollows-- more then what Kisuke had said, who had basically just outlined the entire thing for me.

"You'll have to watch your back, Corleone-san."

"Please, call me Dante, none of this Corleone shit." I said, feeling annoyed, although I was high by then and the cramps and buzzing in my head wasn't so bad. "Why do I have to watch my back?"

"Well, everyone who's gotten close to one of us soul reapers or mod-souls, manifested some pretty trippy stuff." I looked at him, frowning.

"What are you talking about? Am I going to start seeing angels and demons now or something?"

"No, probably not. You'll see... hey, are you coming to school on Thursday?" I shrugged.

"Probably." Not.

"You'll meet everyone then. You'll understand better," he stood up. He had seated himself cross-legged on the floor, a respectful distance away, balancing the water between his legs. "I gotta run though. Uh, see you guys later." I led him out, waved him good-bye, and then walked back to the room and completed my session. I was so high I could barely walk, and Nova got off the bed as I stretched out on top of it. I don't know what he did after I fell asleep and I didn't care, everything was fine now. Everything's alright, once you're high.