Dearest Simon,

You will never read this. So why am I writing it? Because I want to remember. Twenty years from now, when Britany has a successful career and Eleanor is happily married, I want to find this letter and remember how much I loved you. I never want to forget what it feels like to FEEL. Sometimes I worry about how good I am at hiding my feelings. I think surely someone will notice. Surely I'll have some flaw or crack in my armor but it seems not. I don't want to get so good at hiding that I forget myself what I'm feeling. But if that does happen, then I want to find this and remember I DO feel. I have loved and I have hurt. Even if all it brings me is pain, at least it will be better than no feeling at all.

And some part of me thinks, if I happen to die, maybe someone else will find this letter and realise how deeply I truly felt. Not you though. I never want you to find this. You'd feel guilty and your memory of me would be spoilt. I never want anything to affect how you remember me. Nothing will affect how I think of you.

Will you be married I wonder? Will some pretty girl have captured your heart as you captured mine? Or maybe she'll love another. Would you feel what I feel when I see you look at someone else? But no, how could she not love you? Of course she would. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Perhaps there is no girl good enough for you. Perhaps in twenty years you'll still be, as you are now, married to your science. I admit that's how I imagine you yet I would wish you love and happiness. Still some part of me hopes you'll always be free so I may continue to dream…

Jeanette lay down her pen and stared out the window. Then with a sigh she folded the letter and placed it in a pretty, lockable, jewellery box. With a click, she symbolically locked her feelings away.