I don't own Kim Possible.
Dog Tag Hope
The girl's words echoed hollowly through Shego's mind over and over again, tearing her apart each time. They hurt and she bled. Because she knew they were true. You're a coward! You're just letting her go, pretending she's dead because you're too scared to find the truth!
Shego hung her head, leaning her forearms against the balcony's cold metal railing, absently fingering the standard issue US Army dog tag in her hand, running her fingers over the indents of her own name; Gordon, Elise R. Tears stung her eyes and she slowly let the hollow ache in her chest consume her. She drowned in that feeling. She gave in to the pain. She…let go. Right there. She cried her heart out and fell to her knees, her dog-tags slipping from her hand onto the concrete ground with a metallic sound. She shoved her fingers into her hair, clutching her scalp and contorting her face in agony. Sobs wracked her muscular frame and she cried, howling her sorrow to the wind and not caring about her precious rep or who could possibly be watching. She didn't give a single thought to what her father may think of her now; how weak she may seem. She just cried. And cried and cried. Until her throat was raw and her stomach hurt, she wept like a child.
"Shego?" Kim called softly from the bedroom door, her beautiful red hair falling forward a bit, covering one of her shocking green eyes. She leaned against the wooden frame, an easy, adoring smile on her full, pink lips. "Hey."
Shego looked up from her laptop, spectacles perched on the bridge of her nose. She smiled when she locked eyes with the younger woman. "Hey yourself. What are you doing home so early?"
Kim's smile faltered just a bit. She kicked off from the door and walked up to the woman lounging in her bed. "I'm not home. Actually I just came back to get a bag and then I've got to go."
Shego frowned. "But you just got home from your last mission yesterday. Betty promised us she wouldn't this again unless it was an absolute emergency."
The redhead crawled up onto the queen sized bed and scooted over to her wife. "I know. And I'm sorry. But it is an emergency. There's been some suspicious amounts of electrical activity in the Alps. I have to go check it out."
The older woman sighed and took her glasses off, using her thumb and forefinger to rub her eyes. "But why do you have to go? I'm sure there are a hundred other capable agents she can send."
Kim smiled. "But none of them can do anything."
Shego let out a frustrated breath and shoved her laptop onto the bed before getting off the bed and stalking toward the closet. She stop when she got to the opposite wall and leaned her forehead against it, counting to ten to calm her quickly growing anger.
"Shego-"
"No!" the dark-haired woman turned on her. "No, I don't want you to go! Why do you always have to play the hero? Why do you always have to put them-" she gestured toward the window "-before us?! Huh?"
Kim sighed and got up, slowly walking up to her spouse. "I don't-"
"Yes, you do, Kim! It's all the time! You missed Chey's play-off game because some teenagers got lost in the Amazon! You missed my book release because some asshole stole the blueprints for some laser!"
"Shego, it's my job!" the redhead yelled indignantly. "I can't just leave the world unprotected-"
"It's not! Betty has a whole goddamned agency dedicated to this shit! You can afford to take a day off once in a while! But you don't because those strangers who you will never see again are more goddamned important than your wife and daughter!"
Kim's anger flared. "That is not true! You know I love you! You and Chey are my world! But it's my job, Shego!"
Shego stepped closer to her, taking a stance similar to the one she used to start her fights with Kim when they were younger. Her fist clenched at her sides and her forearms hardened with well defined muscle. "And this it is your family!"
"Would you give up writing if I asked you to?!" the hero shot back.
"If it was keeping me from you and Cheyenne? In a second," the woman growled, glaring at the redhead before her.
The door to their bedroom suddenly burst open and a teenager with long black hair stood in the doorway, her eyes wet with unshed tears and her face hardened with strength, looking and acting just as Shego would. She crossed her arms and cocked her hip, just like Kim. "Will you two stop?"
Both parents' anger immediately drained at the sight of their upset daughter standing there. Both sighed and relaxed their tense muscles. They turned away from each other, Shego going to the door to talk to Chey.
"I'm sorry, baby. You're mother and I-"
"Are fighting," the fourteen-year-old finished. She gulped and cocked her jaw, defiantly trying to keep her sadness from showing. "I know. But could you keep it down? I'm trying to read." A tear slid down her cheek and she angrily wiped it away.
A small, sad smile touched Shego's lips. "Chey, it's okay to be-"
"I'm not," the girl snapped, swiping another tear. "Look, whatever. I'm going to Sarah's house. I'll be back before dinner." And then she was gone.
Shego sighed and ran her fingers through her thick ebony mane.
"She's defiantly your daughter," Kim said softly from just behind the taller woman.
The ex-villain gulped and looked down at the ground, not turning to look at her lover. "She's your daughter too." She chuckled once. "Stubborn as hell."
"I'm pretty sure she gets that from you."
Shego laughed again. Exhaustion over took her and she suddenly just wanted to curl up in her comfortable bed and let the world slip away. "Maybe you should just go. Chey and I will be here when you get back."
Kim paused, wanting so bad to reach out to her hurting wife. But she didn't move. Then she let out a small breath. "We'll talk. I promise."
The brunette nodded and still didn't turn away from the empty doorway. She heard Kim move around their bedroom, grabbing a change of clothing, a couple gadgets and whatever else she intended to take with her. Then the redhead came back to Shego.
"Shego-" the younger woman started but cut herself off. She sighed and walked out the door. "I'll see you," she muttered as she moved passed her upset spouse.
The woman squeezed her eyes shut. She desperately tried to hold onto her pride. She tried to stay strong and prove that she could let the love of her life to walk away from her and not run after her. It wasn't like it was forever. It wasn't like Kim was leaving her. Yeah, she could let her walk away without saying goodbye. If only the one time to prove she could.
Damn it.
"Princess!" Shego yelled, jogging out into the waning sunlight. The redhead turned back to her expectantly as the older woman came to a stop in front of her. "Um…" suddenly feeling foolish, Shego looked away. "I…um…I do…I love you, you know. That…will never change."
Kim smiled and gently reached up, turning Shego's gaze back to her. "And I love you. I love Cheyenne, too. Would you please tell her that?"
Shego nodded. "Course." Her voice stuck to the walls of her throat. Goddamn it. She was acting like a kid, for Christ's sake. She reached into her shirt collar and pulled off her dog-tags. They were well worn and thoroughly beaten up and one of her most prized possessions.
She'd enlisted the moment she got out of high school and continued on until she was twenty three. She'd loved the Army. Really had. It was the only other place, save for Kim and Chey's hearts, that she felt she truly belonged. But her Lieutenant had found out who she preferred to share her bed with and she was discharged. It had killed her. Broke her heart. But now she had Kim and Cheyenne and she wouldn't give that up for a million years in the service.
The brunette handed the necklace to Kim, wrapping her fingers around the smaller hand. "Just so you don't forget about us back home."
Kim looked down at their clasped hands then back up at Shego. She smiled and brought the pale woman's hand to her lips, brushing a kiss over the tinted skin. "I never could."
Ron had delivered the dog-tags to Shego exactly eight days later. They'd been found among debris from an explosion that shook the whole mountain. Kim was in the middle of it. A body hadn't been found. The theory was that there was no body to find. Shego had…died…after that. She pulled away. She let go. She was the epitome, it seemed, of apathy. It was only Cheyenne, the perfect blend of Kim and herself, that kept her from putting a bullet in her brain. And then the girl screamed the one thing that could tear the fragile woman apart.
"Why aren't you out there looking for her?" Chey demanded, tears streaming down her face. They were in the kitchen, standing across the table from each other.
Shego cleared the table, placing the dishes in the sink. She didn't look at her daughter as she began running water over them. "Because she's gone, Chey. There's nothing to find." Her voice was hollow. Emotionless. Dead.
"Bullshit!" the teen roared. "She could still be out there! You know her, Mom! You know how strong she is!"
"There's nothing I can do. There's nothing to do. She's dead. That's it. There's no point in looking for…for whatever's left." Her heart clenched painfully and she had trouble fully expanding her lungs.
"You don't know that! She could still be alive!"
"She's not, Chey!" Shego snapped. "She's dead."
"You're a coward! You're just letting her go, pretending she's dead because you're too scared to find the truth!" Cheyenne broke down into all out sobs. "Because whether you admit it or not, you still have the hope, the feeling that she'll come walking through that door and we'll all go back to normal! I know because I feel it too, Mom! I feel it too!" Chey ran from the room then. She tore out the door and down the street, away from her remaining mother. Away from her broken home.
This is only the first chapter. At this point I'm not sure when I'll get the next one up but I'd like to know what you think so far. Is it good? Bad? Ugly? What do you think is going to happen? What do you think should happen?