Author : Laura (alwaysbluex)

Summary: "Blair's takes a slow drag of the cigarette, letting the smoke invade her lungs and seep slowly out her nose. " What happens those two weeks during the holiday's she's completely alone and without anyone? Post 2x13.

Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl.

A/N: K. So I've planned out this whole story for once. So hopefully I'll get it done by January 5th, since I'll probably lose interest after new episodes start up again. STILL working on help me forget. Not so sure about are you kidding right now.

Comment and let me know what you think!

Thanks to Martinigirl15 for beta'ing !

"Blair, Blair… wake up," someone said harshly, moving her shoulders back and forth in a chaotic rhythm. "BLAIR!"

She opened her eyes slightly, still not accustomed to all the light. "Put the sun away, it's blinding me," she mumbled, half-asleep.

"Where were you last night?" the person questioned. "I tried to call you… several times," he added.

"Nate, if I wanted a babysitter… Well, I wouldn't be choosing you," she said, yawning.

Nate eyed her carefully as she got out of the bed and stalked into her walk-in closet. "Nice dress."

She spun around, eyeing her ex-boyfriend. "Could have complimented me when we were dating." she retorted.

He rolled his eyes. "Where were you last night? Last time I checked you said Chuck was at your house, sleeping."

She looked away from him, searching through her dresser drawers for something to wear. She was thinking skinny jeans today. Change was everywhere, why not change up her wardrobe a bit?

"Blair…?" He questioned, putting his hand lightly on her shoulder.

"He's gone," she spat, fisting the pair of jeans in her hands.

Blair tilted her head to the ceiling, mentally begging herself not to let the tears escape. "He left, told me not to come looking for him." Nate moved his hand to her back, stepping even closer than before. "It's crazy. I tell guys I love them, and they leave me."

"I'm so sorry, Blair," he said quietly.

She choked back her sobs, running her hands over her flat stomach. "I have to get out of here," she said quickly, brushing his hand away from her and grabbing the red silk blouse peeking out of her dresser drawer before heading to the bathroom. Quickly, she threw off the party dress from last night and slipped a pair of dark blue skinny jeans up over her hips. After putting on her silk shirt that clung to her skin in a flattering way, she opened the door to find Nate sitting calmly on her bed, waiting for her to come out.

She ignored his looks and headed for her closet, grabbing a black blazer and a pair of Marc Jacobs flats.

He stood up slowly and walked towards her. "Let me come with you."

She spun around, almost knocking Nate over from shock. "Just let me be. Like you said, Chuck needs time to heal, alone, as do I."

He stood there silently, no emotion on his face--his feelings were told through his eyes at the moment. She saw confusion, a typical look for Nate, and sadness.

"I want to get away from all of this right now. The leering looks, hushed whispers. I need to be where things can just be said out in the open, where I can actually breathe. Don't come looking for me, I'll find my way back."

The elevator door pinged open, and out went Blair Waldorf. He hardly knew her anymore.

…

She wandered around Central Park aimlessly for what felt like hours, but was in fact only a couple of minutes. She sighed and sat down on a bench, watching the ladies with their large bags feeding pigeons. What if she ended up like this? She inwardly cringed at this thought, she would never wear a shirt with that much holly, or that much glitter, or any shirt that you buy at the dollar store.

"Blair Waldorf?" She heard coming from behind her, the snow lightly crunching beneath the feet of the person who was calling her.

Slowly, she turned around to come face-to-face with the person calling her name. Emily had the same pair of black skinny jeans as last night, only this time she was wearing a silver top that sparkled when the snow hit it just right. She rolled her eyes. "Blair is fine."

"What are you doing out here all alone?" Emily said, getting straight to the point.

Blair huffed, her hands on her lap. "Lately, I like being alone more than being with people."

"Ah, you've had your heart broken," Emily said, pulling a flask from her purse. "I understand."

"It's ten o' clock in the morning." Blair exclaimed, studying the girl's flask that obviously had some hard liquor in it.

Emily shrugged, taking a swig of her drink. "Really? Didn't notice."

"How old are you anyways?"

"Fifteen." Emily nodded, grabbing a cigarette from her back pocket.

Blair raised an eyebrow. "No family to scold you for this?"

"That story is for another time, you busy tonight?"

"I barley know you," Blair said, narrowing her eyes at the girl before her.

Emily laughed. "Does that really matter?" She questioned.

Blair thought for a minute. "Yes, it does. I don't associate with Brooklynites."

"You really need to loosen up, Blair Waldorf." she mocked, before blowing rings of smoke over the top of Blair's head.

Blair glared at this girl, though she was sure Emily wasn't paying any attention, and didn't care anyway. She had only known her for less than a day, and had barely even spoken with her. But somehow, this girl's words drew her in. She didn't care about consequences, and just lived life the way she wanted, not knowing when they day started or when the night ended. This caused a small pang of jealousy to erupt in Blair. She desperately wanted that.

"Where would you take me?" Blair questioned, her eyes still on Emily's smoke rings.

Emily huffed, fumbling through her purse. "What's with all the questions, Waldorf?" she asked, handing Blair a piece of paper with an address on it. "Live a little."
With that, she got up, heading in the opposite direction from where she had come.

"Hey!" Blair yelled.

Emily stopped, but did not turn around.

"Say I were to go." she continued. "What time do I arrive?"

Emily was silent for a moment. "Quarter to midnight. Don't be early."

Blair scrunched up her nose at the girls back, the December air whipping at her face causing her brown locks to obscure her vision. By the time she moved the hair out of her eyes to take a second look, Emily was gone.

Blair breathed in deeply, and then out, her hot breath mixing with the cold winter air. She did what Emily asked of her, arriving not early, but instead late. Slowly, she walked in the door. The lights were dimmed, and she could barely see a thing. Suddenly, an arm reached out and grabbed her, pulling her to the back of the club.

"You came!" Emily exclaimed. She held up Blair's wrist, examining the expensive watch. "And ten minutes late, to boot. I'm proud of you, Blair Waldorf."

"What is this place?" Blair questioned, examining the half-naked women flaunting themselves around in front of the mirror.

"My second job," Emily said casually, sitting at the station with her name on it. Everything finally clicked, the stage, the women dressed in nothing but high heels and expensive lingerie.

"You're a stripper?" Blair exclaimed, nudging Emily's shoulder rougher than intended. "You're fifteen."

"So you're reminding me. Please, I'm not a stripper," Emily said nonchalantly. Blair let out a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding. "I'm a burlesque dancer, there is a difference."

"Not a big one," Blair spat.

Emily turned around from her make-up table. "I brought you here tonight so you could loosen up, enjoy life. You seem stuck in a tough place right now."

"How - "

She shrugged, lighting up a cigarette. "I catch on to these things. So, Blair Waldorf, you have any experience?"

What the hell, Blair thought to herself. She was here, at a Brooklyn club, and she had been given the offer of a lifetime, to let go of her insecurities and worries. Just like she was able to a year ago, with Chuck. "Actually, I do," she smirked.

Emily smirked back at her, handing her hand-crafted lingerie and a pair of beautiful black heels.

…

"Here, take this," Emily said, handing Blair two shots.

Blair scrunched her nose, studying the liquid. "What is it?"

"Tequila. Trust me, you'll need it," Emily said, before downing three shots of her own.

The lights went completely dark, the sound of men's cheers and laughter could be heard for miles. Blair's hands began to tremble, as she began to think about everything that was happening. Last year was a petty dare that turned into so much more. She only did it because Chuck thought she didn't have the guts, and she loved proving him wrong.

Blair's heart began to beat rapidly as thoughts of Chuck engulfed her, swallowing her body whole and making her numb. Emily noticed her go quiet and tense up. She squeezed Blair's shoulder in reassurance. "Tonight is about letting go, remember that. Do what you want, and have fun."

Blair nodded, still thinking about Chuck. The curtain opened and the lights shining on the stage took over. She swore Chuck was sitting in the front row, lounging on the couch, glass of champagne in one hand, her own in the other. He always was the one to keep her drink safe. That's what she grew to love about him. The music began to play, her heart thumping along to the beat, when she was given a rough push into the center of the stage.

…