DISCLAIMER: Me own-y nothing… sadly

That Darn Paperclip:

Max POV

We started school (no not the School) a few months ago, and winter break is in two weeks. My devilish math teacher decided to give us a giant report, and it's due the day before the break. Yay me… NOT!

So, I decided that maybe I should try, and emphasis on try, to be good - that means no sarcastic comments or punching people when they insult me.

I'm getting it done early. So, anyway, I just finished typing up my report on our computer - we came back to Mom's place - and I also printed it. I searched all over Mom's office, but I couldn't find a stapler.

After about twenty more minutes, I found the tape, but it thought that sticking to me would be much better than sticking to the paper.

Double-Sided tape: See Above. Same thing, just twice as sticky.

Glue - don't even go there, you don't want to know what happened.

I even tried folding the corner, but it wouldn't stay together.

Stumped, I sat down on the swivel chair. In my exasperation, I accidentally sat down too hard and the chair kinda fell apart.

Alarmed, I shoved the pieces into the closet that shared the office.

There, Mom won't notice a thing - except the missing chair. I thought. I'd deal with that chair later. That Max Ride card does come in handy sometimes…

So as I surveyed the room, my eyes fell on something I hadn't tried yet.

The paperclips. The window sent a beam of light onto the paperclips, you could almost hear the angels going ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

I grab one paperclip and attempt to stick it onto the paper. I wouldn't go on. After a series of trial and error, the paperclip is distorted into an unimaginable shape.

(A/N Whitecoats to Bird Kids is the same as Maximum Ride to Paperclips)

The next paperclip got lost in the carpet.

One fell- OK well, I threw it- out the window.

Another stabbed my thumb.

Anything that could go wrong did go wrong.

So as I look in the container, I only see one paperclip left.

Call me crazy, but I started talking to this one. As I approached it cautiously, I said "It's OK Mr. Paperclip, you're going to be put to good use on my report. Just come with me and it will all be fine, c'mon. That's it, good paperclip."

I've officially gone insane.

You already are.

Shut up Voice. Oh, that wasn't the Voice, that was my subconscious…

Back to the lone paperclip.

There it was my hand was only two feet away.

One foot.

Nine inches.

Jeeze, what's with all of these exact measurements?

I'm sooo close to grabbing the paperclip when out of nowhere - OK, fine, entering from the window - comes a bird.

It all happens in slow motion.

The bird grabs the paperclip.

Swoops around the room.

Flies out the window.

Oh. This. Sucks. Like. A lot.

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

OK, I lost it, I seriously lost it.

Fang comes running into the room. Concern clearly written on his face.

"Max, what happened?" he asks.

"ugh," is my reply.

I notice one thing, and one thing only.

He.

Is.

Holding.

The.

Stapler.

So? How'd I do, I actually thought this was a very good story. The mighty Maximum Ride is no match for the Paperclip.

The part about the math assignment is partially true for me, except it's due in January... after break. And my math teacher isn't too bad, she just likes to give out homework.