Cold Outside

Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece

Summary: Raidou would like to leave

Author's Note: Written for PockyPuck. Possible out-of characterness

Constructive Criticism is always welcomed

Published: 21 December 2008

Rating: K+

Raidou found himself pinned under a loud snowflake blanket on Genma's failing sofa, with the tokubetsu jounin warbling some sickening song about it being cold outside. "Genma. Get off of me."

"Why should I?" Thankfully, the other man stopped his dying cow impersonation.

"Because it's late and I need to go."

"You'd rather go off through the wind and snow to a cold, dark, empty, lonely apartment instead of staying here where it's warm and bright and—most importantly—where I am?"

"I'd like to go home so I can sleep in a bed that I don't have to worry about collapsing in the middle of the night or wake up to it falling through the floor."

"Hey, I'll have you know that I mostly fixed my bed! Where's your sense of adventure?!"

"You didn't try to use cinder blocks again, did you? Because you know that your floor can't handle the weight."

"I learned my lesson last time! Besides, that hole in the floor is a great training bit and works wonderful with my traps!" Genma adjusted his weight so he was draped more comfortably over Raidou. "I had Kakashi-san weld my bed for me so that leg won't fall off any more."

"Kakashi-san? Weld it? With what? A fire jutsu?"

"Well, it's a little warped now, but I managed to get the smoky smell out and with a few modifications, the mattress still mostly fits."

Raidou decided he didn't want to know. There was a reason he always tried to talk Genma into coming over to his apartment instead of the other way around. He also didn't feel like asking what happen to the wooden parts of Genma's bed. "I still have to go."

"Don't be such a wimp!"

"Your toilet exploded last time I tried to use it."

"The outdoors is our toilet!"

"I'm not squatting in the snow when I have a very nice toilet in my house that I can use instead." Raidou decided to try and sweeten the pot a little bit. "You're welcome to come with me; I have all the ingredients for waffles."

Genma's eyes glazed a little for a moment and Raidou took the opportunity to work his hands free. He got half-way through a teleportation jutsu signs when Genma pinned his hands again.

"Nuh-uh! Nice try! Don't think that you're going to get away so easily!"

Raidou sighed. "Genma."

"Raidou."

Raidou sighed again. "I'd like to go home so I can sleep in a bed with actual back support. You're welcome to join me."

"You never spend the night here," Genma accused, snuggling closer.

"I don't because you don't have any pillows on your bed."

"I do so!"

"Old torn uniforms wadded into pillow-shapes do not count as pillows." Plus, they weren't hypoallergenic. Raidou loved the fact that pillows could now be made with hypoallergenic materials.

"You're a neat freak."

"And you're a slob. Let go of me."

"If you really wanted to go, you'd get free."

"Yes, but then I'd have to hurt you."

"I am more fun when I'm not hurt."

"You whinge when you're hurt."

"I do not!"

"You do. Right up in the nose."

"Oh, like you're any better—ha! Thought you would distract me, did you? My ninja skills are too great for cheap tricks like that! You're stuck. Here. With me."

"Do you think that I'm just going to roll over and take this?"

Genma's eyes glazed over a little bit. "You never just 'roll over and take it'," he said dreamily.

"Genma!"

"What? What did I say?"

"You were fantasising again! No fantasising on me!"

"Oh, right. No fantasising when I could be doing the real thing!" He swept down and kissed Raidou.

"I'm not going to have a repeat of last White Day," Raidou got out before Genma could kiss him again. He had never seen a sofa do that before, and he hoped that he'd never see one do that ever again; it killed the mood instantly and it reinforced why he tried to avoid doing anything strenuous on anything of Genma's.

Genma hrumped. "Fine. But don't think that I'm going to let you leave me here, all alone and cold. It won't kill you to spend one night at my place."

As Raidou rolled his eyes and resigned himself to be stuck in the biohazard that Genma called home, the little dark and guilty part of him sighed in contentment and snuggled down.

It was, after all, cold outside.

x Fin x