Hello anybody who bothers to read this! I'll apologize in advance for the long note.

All right- before you go on, I'd like to do two things- set things straight, and tell you a small introductory story.

Story first: So here's how it is. I absolutely loved Thomas the Tank Engine when I was little. It was my favorite show. Even years later, I still have a soft spot for it. So, one day, I decide to check up on it- you know, just see how it's doing. And, to my surprise and displeasure, they've completely changed it!

Most of the changes I can deal with. I know nothing stays the same forever (although I much prefer the old music, title screen, models, and narrators.) What really ticked me off was how they changed the personalities, particularly those of the narrow gauge engines (which happen to be my favorites.) Especially those of Skarloey and Rheneas. Skarloey was (still is) my favorite, but they've changed him from the wise, kind engine he was into a childish idiot who lacks courage and self-confidence. They didn't do much better to Rheneas. Worse still, they keep making mistakes, making it sound like Skarloey and Rheneas are as young as they make them act! That really annoys me.

So what am I going to do to let out my annoyance and frustration? Write a parody, of course!

Right, now here's all you need to know to enjoy (perhaps) this parody.

-The title of the actual episode parodied comes first, then, after the AKA, is my name for it.

-These parodies will probably mostly stay focused on narrow gauge, as I find it easier to parody stuff that ticks me off, and the narrow gauge changes tick me off, but I may do a standard gauge one if I feel like it.

-It helps if you actually see these episodes first. It'll make less sense if you don't, although you'll probably still get it.

-Some of the dialogue is from the actual episode, some is not. You'll probably be able to tell the difference. Likewise, some of the other lines are part of the narration, others aren't.

-I'm not insulting the show, remember, I still have a soft spot for it, I just hate how they've changed it.

Oh, and of course I don't own Thomas the Tank Engine. If I did, things would be a LOT different....

Skarloey the Brave, AKA the Stupidest, Most Out-of-Character Episode Ever

One of Skarloey's favorite places on the Island of Sodor is a little village at the top of the mountains. Which is rather strange, as his railway is supposed to run through a forest, with a lake and waterfall, and this is referred to many times in previous episodes. Heck, anyone who's read the books would know that the lake and the waterfall were how Skarloey and Rheneas got their names. But now the railway has been magically moved into the mountains.

Anyways, although this village is small, it apparently needs several trucks of coal per day. How they manage to use so much coal in one day is a mystery, but, without it their houses cannot be snug and warm. (Oh, tragedy!!!!)

One day Rheneas was shunting a line of trucks at the Incline, which, despite being part of a slate quarry, is somehow closely linked to the village's coal supply. Rheneas was scared because the Incline was so high, even though he was at the bottom of it and didn't even have to go up.

"You are such a scaredy engine!" Skarloey teased him. "I'm not afraid of anything!"

"You'd think I wouldn't be scared of the Incline, since I've done this loads of times before, I'm over a hundred years old, and in other episodes it's clearly stated how much I enjoy working at the Incline," sighed Rheneas. "But apparently the writers have other ideas."

"I understand," Skarloey agreed sadly. "You'd think I'd be too mature to tease you, because I'm over a hundred too, and you're my brother, but-"

"We're deviating from the script!!!" shouted Skarloey's driver. "You two can chat later when this episode is over! Now get on with it!"

Right. Ahem. Skarloey thought he was the bravest engine in the world.

Skarloey was surprised. "What? I never-"

"Script!" shouted his driver.

Then, the coupling holding the trucks broke!

"Oh no!" cried Skarloey. He reversed as quickly as he could to get out of the loaded trucks' way. He raced past Thomas, who really served no purpose at all in the story but just had to butt in there somewhere, and then into a siding. The points magically switched, and the cars raced past.

"Phew!" said Skarloey. "Thank goodness for magic!"

But now the cars were headed straight for Rusty. Rusty blew his horn, and the signalman switched the cars into a siding.

"Good job, Rusty," said the Thin Controller, who had for some unknown reason adopted the name Mr. Percival. "Since we're so keen on shoving lessons down kids' throats, you just showed all the children that if loaded trucks are ever speeding towards them, they should stand there and make a lot of noise instead of getting out of the way. You are a very brave engine."

"Thank you sir," said Rusty. "Although really, Skarloey had no choice but to get out of the way, as there was no siding between where the cars broke free and the one he went into, and the alternative would've been that the cars smash into him and-"

"Silence!" shouted the Thin Controller. "That's not in the script!"

So what is in the script? Skarloey wondered. He asked his driver.

His driver told him.

"You've got to be joking!" complained Skarloey. "Honestly, that's the most embarrassing, out-of-character-"

"Shh!" said his driver. "Just say it!"

"Oh all right!" He sighed. "I want to be the bravest! I want to show everyone that I'm the bravest engine of all! Although it's kind of pointless now, what with them making episodes in which I'm scared of a bridge, scared of lightning, scared of the wharf, scared of-"

"Shh!" said his driver again.

Skarloey was unhappy, but for an entirely different reason than the script said.

The next day, Skarloey was shunting trucks at the Incline when he got the worst idea ever.

"I know! I can leave myself coupled to the trucks, and be pulled up the Incline, even though it's been proven by Duncan that the chains can't hold the weight of an engine!" He frowned. "Cinders and ashes, who's putting these ideas in my head?!"

"Just do what you're told," said his driver.

So Skarloey left himself coupled to the trucks and got pulled up the Incline.

Rheneas and Duncan saw him. Instead of being concerned for his safety, as they ought to have been, since there'd been several accidents involving the Incline before, they cheered him on

"Isn't that brave!" said Duncan. "When that happened to me, I went flying into a pond and damaged myself!"

Of course, the winch broke.

Skarloey began speeding down the Incline.

"Skarloey!" shouted his driver, who was hanging on for his life.

"What?"

"You're supposed to say something!"

"Am I? What… bust my buffers, is it not bad enough that I'm speeding down a hill towards certain disaster?!"

"Say it!"

Skarloey sighed. "Wheeeeeeeeee!"

When Skarloey got to the bottom of the Incline, he was going so fast he couldn't stop. He zoomed past Thomas, who again had no business being there and served no purpose in the story, and for some reason hadn't moved from the exact same spot he was in sitting in yesterday (and they call him a Really Useful Engine?), flew into a siding and crashed to a stop.

Later, the Thin Controller gave Skarloey a stern talking-to.

"This episode is getting worse and worse," said Skarloey sadly. "I haven't had a stern talking-to for decades. This is so out-of-character."

"The village will get no coal today!" said the Thin Controller sternly.

"But why does it matter if the winch is broken?" asked Skarloey. "That doesn't have anything to do with-"

"Silence!"

Skarloey was silent.

"I said the village will get no coal today!!!"

"Yes, sir," said Skarloey.

He left sadly. The past two days definitely hadn't been the best. He'd had to act like an idiot, crash into a siding, be yelled at, and now this. "The village has no coal, and it's my fault," he sighed. "Well, technically it's the writers', but inadvertently…. Well, what's the script going to have me do next?"

"You have to decide that some things are better than being brave, and bring the coal up to the village," said his driver.

"You mean I can finally start acting like myself again?" Skarloey felt a lot better. "Excellent!"

He went to the top of the Incline to fetch the coal trucks. Rheneas and Duncan were there, apparently having nothing better to do- even though Rheneas had supposedly been afraid of the Incline's height at the bottom of it, being at the top was fine.

"Are you going to take the empty trucks down without the winch?" they asked. "That would be really brave!"

"Because apparently we're so stupid that even after the results of your first attempt to be brave, we want you to try it again," muttered Rheneas darkly, as the narrator said things that made it sound like Skarloey was making a tough decision.

"No," said Skarloey, having made one of the easiest decisions ever. "I'm taking coal up to the village." And he left.

Skarloey enjoyed himself the entire way to the village, finally able to act like himself again. Meanwhile, the narrator said dramatic things that made it sound like he was having a difficult time.

When he reached the village, all the villagers cheered. After all, they'd had to endure their houses not being warm and snug for three full minutes!!! They'd almost had to use some of those extra dozens of trucks of coal they must've had stored up by then!

"Sometimes doing the right thing is better than having people think you're brave!" said Skarloey. He sighed. "I could've told you that at the start, writers!"

Suddenly, Thomas magically materialized beside him.

"Oh, hello," said Skarloey. "How'd you do that?"

"I don't know," said Thomas. "I guess they thought I didn't get enough screen time in this episode. Because you know, I have to appear for at least forty seconds in every episode." He vanished again.

Skarloey sighed. "And so concludes the worst episode ever."

And so concluded the worst episode ever.