I'll Be Home For Christmas

He hated the way Shiro always managed to make him cry. He hated Shiro for doing it, and he hated himself for falling for it. 'It was the smile' he told himself. 'That god damn smile' he still had the picture of Shiro getting on the bus, waving goodbye, never to return for the next year and a half. He hated the pisture. But whenever he tried to rip it up, he was caught by Shiro's ever present smile, the one that was there even on that day.

He hated that smile.

He wondered, when shiro came back (because he had to believe he really would be back), would that smile still be the same? Would those golden eyes look changed? Would it still be his Shiro? He wanteds to give himself a definite answer. But he couldn't.

Now it was Christmas. The first Christmas without Shiro. He couldn't remember a Christmas they hadn't spent together. He couldn't remember more than a week without Shiro in his day. Now he'd been going on (strongly he hoped) for the past 6 months.

He was staring the photo again when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Goddamit Grimmjow! Sit your ass down, I'll give you the phone after I'm done. ... Ichigo you there? Just a sec, I gotta cuss this kid out in arabic."

His hands shook so hard he nearly dropped the phone. He took a deep breath, laughing slightly at the string of arabic words being shot back and forth.

"Shut up, Grimmjow, I'll let you talk to your woman, later! My Strawberry's on the phone. Ichigo?"

Another deep breath. He never really sat around waiting for calls from Shiro. But when he got them, it made his heart thud. "Hey, I'm here."

Shiro's voice still sounded the same. He still laughed in the same maniacal way. And if he knew Shiro at all, he was probably still smiling in that annoying way of his. Shiro was still his Shiro.

"Y'know, Christmas was my turn t' come home. But, this one guy, his wife had a kid after he left. I remember the day he got that call. He was crying and laughing. I had to let him see the kid, y'know?"

"Shiro!" he gasped in mock surprise. "You've grown a heart!" Shiro was laughing. That old high pitched laugh that used to get him in trouble in highschool. Made him feel good. There was a moment of silence, the only moment that the darkness came in and ate him alive. "I....Want you to come home... for christmas."

He was crying again, because he could already see that stupid crooked grin.

"Hold on, I gotta go put that stupid lonestar song on, the one with the 'I'm the sunshine in your hair' crap." he tried to crack a smile, but it didn't work. "Listen, this is gonna be some cheesy crap, so I don' want the other guys to hear me say it but...."

"Spit it out already." he hissed angrily. In the back ground, he heard the one named Grimmjow start singing quietly, the titanic or some shit. He almost laughed.

"I'll be there for Christmas. In fact, I'm already there. Not there enough to kiss you. But I'm there. Even when we're not on the phone and goddamit Grimmjow, I'm trying to have a moment here." another shout in the back ground. 'I know, that's why I'm singing.' "You've got the lyrics wrong! Where's Ishida, he knows that fricken song by heart."

He couldn't help it. He laughed. Shiro was laughing in his ears too. It felt good. "Thanks, Shiro." he whispered.

He already knew Shiro was smiling that crooked smile.

"I'm there, Ichi, I'm there. My times up, or so Grimmjow says, so I gotta go. Love you, Ichi. I want my Christmas gift, eh!"

"yea..."

Stupid smile.

Dedicated to all the Canadian soldiers

still out there at Christmas time.

OWARI

I assumed what I could so that my story would work. I dunno how holidays actually work out. Anyway, there's my bleach christmas story.