A/N: Here is a holiday treat for you all. I hope you enjoy your winter break as much as I have. I'm pretty much snowed in, and I'm making the best of it =)
Review if you have the time. I highly appreciate your comments. If there's something you dislike about my writing style, let me know. I can't improve unless you tell me. Also, I have no idea what to write about next. If you have a plot for a story you'd like to see, don't hesitate to say so.
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The Perfect Gift
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The wind was unbearable for Raven.
She tucked her hands under her arms and shivered through the cold. A rough breeze played with her cape and pushed her uniform's hood off her head. She reached from behind her neck and tugged at her hood. She struggled to keep it around her ears, but soon found her efforts in vain. The wind was relentless and her hands grew cold. She gave up, letting the hood drape around her neck in a soggy heap. As she walked, little flakes of snow danced with her hair.
It was the night before Christmas and all the news stations had called tonight the biggest snowstorm of the year. Ordinarily, she would be at home sipping a warm cup of tea and reading a book in bed. But this year, she had to break her normal routine. Raven had something important that needed to be done. Things she had put off for far too long, and now she was forced to enter this dark despair to finish them.
Where one foot slammed into the powdered snow with assured bearings, the other foot slid and she barely kept her balance. Raven traveled on foot, unsure of how her ability to fly might handle in such weather. Moreover, she feared traveling at a higher altitude, where the air would surely be colder. In damp clothes, she risked hypothermia.
She walked through what was once an October park littered with reds and greens. Now, the colors had morphed to white and leaves had transformed to ash. The ice below her feet was a dreary sapphire, struggling to outshine the looming heavens. The clash of the contrasting colors—the storm clouds against melting snow—created a rich midnight blue at the horizon. She immersed herself in the shimmering wintry landscape.
Raven loved this time of year. She enjoyed watching the snowflakes tumble down like lost leaves searching for a place to call home. She enjoyed the accenting color of white on green, where snow covered an Evergreen tree. She enjoyed the sounds of thawing snow as December finally came to an end and her warmer seasons prospered. To say the least, she enjoyed watching winter.
But, watching a snowstorm and being inside a snowstorm were two completely different perspectives. Although she loved to watch snow, she truly hated traveling through it. She despised the chill fighting against her frame. She blamed the weather for her slow walking and glared at the wind's abusive relationship with her hooded cape. Nothing good came out of being in the snow. It was cold, it made her hands numb and it forced her hair to dry in an awkward position. Yes, out of any other season in the year, she found winter to be the worst possible time to be outside.
Raven growled at the climate and tried to quicken her pace. Complaining about the weather would not help her reach her destination any faster. Even though Raven blamed the storm for her sluggish walk, any onlooker would observe the girl and think she deliberately took her time. They were probably correct. Raven lacked the motivation to hurry.
She was about to enter a world she had never before experienced and she was afraid. Raven would soon be shopping. Of course, the girl knew how to shop and she had gone to the store many times before. But this particular day was different. It involved something beyond her intimate expertise and delved into the realm of the unknown. She would not be shopping for herself, or for a thoughtless Christmas gift. No, she needed to buy something that held proper significance. She required a present that showed a certain boy she truly cared about him. The problem was, she was uncertain of what to get him.
Raven escaped the messy park and began to walk down a sidewalk. The snow was so high off the ground, she couldn't see where the street stopped and the sidewalk began. Raven raised her left hand and placed it on the wall of a large brick building. As she walked, she let the tips of her fingers slide against the rough texture in order to keep her balance. The brick was cold to the touch and numbed her sensitive hand.
As she traveled down the street, the smells of the few remaining stores—which had not yet closed for the holiday—began to fill her nose. Ginger and cinnamon, layered with burning chocolate and pine became impossible to ignore. She had entered the festivities by pure coincidence and soon her stomach began to growl. Raven shook her head and fought her instinct to buy an expensive treat. Her travels were more important. Her destination required utmost concentration. If she delayed now, she might lose her nerve and retreat home.
She crossed an intersection and trudged further through the snow. After a few minutes, her feet came to a stop and red lettering caught her attention. The eerie buzz of a neon sign echoed through the wind. The words "SafeMart" burned the night air and radiated slight heat. Beneath the store's name, smaller letters could be seen, "Anything you want, we have it right here!"
Raven sighed in relief as she observed the store before her. The destination had been reached and her miserable walk would soon end. The girl had finally finished the physical part of her journey. All that remained was the mental agony of choosing the perfect gift. Soon, the snow would be a mere memory. She would be in her room, hiding beneath a hundred warm blankets and reading a good book. Raven hurried through the automatic door and entered.
SafeMart was relatively empty. Besides a couple families browsing towards the front, Raven struggled to find more than a dozen shoppers. Only the few people foolish enough to delay their Christmas shopping risked the stormy weather. Everyone else probably locked themselves in their temperate, cozy houses and watched the holiday draw near. Part of Raven wished she had been one of those people, being able to relax instead of worry. The girl shook her head and focused on more important matters. She needed a gift.
The shelves were bare. An isle labeled "Children 7 and under!" had only a couple chess sets, a monopoly board game and what looked like a misplaced jump rope scattered across the ledge. There were other miscellaneous trinkets to be picked through, like a toy truck, a train set or a seemingly out-of-place rubber band ball, but nothing that a caring parent would buy. It was the night before Christmas and she knew all the usable gifts for children had long since been bought. With this thought, Raven passed the children's isle, knowing useful nothing would be found. She further passed the food isles, the book isle, the gift card isle and headed deeper into the market.
Her mission required surfing through the front end of the supermarket to explore the back half. The gift she needed to buy would be located near the back wall, hidden from the rest of the festivities. As she passed each isle of goods, she couldn't help but notice that even the regular isles of food and non-holiday treats seemed to be empty. Any other time of the year, SafeMart was crammed with stuff and it was almost impossible to find an empty space on a counter. Now, quite the opposite could be said. She had to look for things to see, and mourn as she passed a section of upturned books left on their spine. Even the book isle, a cove that few people dared to enter when looking for a considerate gift, had been picked apart.
She finally came to the back of the store. It was here that things like bicycles and browning Christmas trees could be bought. There were also breakables like ornaments and lamps, kept far away from the kid's isles so that children would be unlikely to bump into them. She passed the unwanted junk to explore the remaining halls. Her head tossed back and forth, casually looking until she found the object of her desire.
High up on a stand with a price tag of $499.99 stood a black and red moped. Next to the price tag was a sticker marked "Christmas Sale." The original price of a thousand dollars had been cut in half, signifying that mopeds did not sell this year.
Earlier this month, Raven had looked through different stores and the Internet, scouting for the average price of a moped. She had seen some mopeds sell for up to several thousand dollars, and others as low as a couple hundred. She was naïve in the market and knew not why some were so cheap and others were so expensive. But for her purposes, the price didn't matter. She knew any moped would do. She knew Beast Boy would be so happy, he would cherish it regardless of its quality. As long as it could get him from point A to point B, his dream in life would be fulfilled.
She let her eyes glide across the smooth seat and curved angles of the miniature vehicle. The moped glimmered in the shop with a flawless black paintjob. The edges were painted red, with a few remaining metallic areas shined and unblemished. From her limited experience, five hundred dollars appeared to be a very good price. If she couldn't see the quality of the moped through her own eyes, she might have questioned the store's reliability and believed the price was low for a reason. But as she took a closer inspection of the vehicle, she realized it looked better than some of the more expensive models listed on the Internet. Sure, it probably didn't go as fast and it wasn't tricked out to have all the cool features of some of the multi-thousand dollar versions, but Beast Boy would still be happy. For all intensive purposes, she knew the perfect gift before her would soon create a very happy boy.
Raven glanced back at the price and considered what it would mean to lose half a thousand dollars in a day. Never before had she spent so much money at one place. In fact, she had never bought more than a cup of coffee, a dinner and a couple books at one time. It wasn't that she lacked the money to buy the moped; heavens no, she had the funds. But the work required to save up so much cash had been rather daunting.
Months ago, she got the idea of buying Beast Boy a moped. And when she knew she would need a large amount of money, she began to save. Just being apart of the Titans gained her steady revenue, but after taxes and team expenses and group dinners and the occasional treat for herself, money didn't up add quickly. There was always one reason or another that limited her bi-weekly pay. Three days ago, she had finally saved what she thought would be enough to buy the gift. It took her three more days to leave the Tower, brave the cold, and actually attempt to buy it.
And now, she couldn't explain why doubt filled her heart. She knew buying him this gift would make him happy. There was absolutely no chance he would dislike it. He would love it. But was it really appropriate to spend so much on a single Christmas gift? What if he bought her something cheap and careless? If he bought her a last-minute book that clearly had no thought, would he feel bad? Perhaps he might regret his choice and feel obligated to pay her back. If giving him a great gift meant making him feel ashamed, then maybe her gift wasn't such a great idea. Beast Boy had never been one to buy thoughtful gifts. She could almost bet there was a book under the Christmas tree with her name on it.
Raven loved books and would actually prefer it to any number of unusable gifts…but simple price comparison suggested a moped would be unreasonable.
Raven chewed her bottom lip and thought about the gift. And then she quickly felt ashamed. Maybe she wanted the money to herself, and she was trying to justify getting Beast Boy something cheaper. At the possible thought of being so selfish, Raven quickly shook her head and made up her mind. She would buy him that gift, and whatever happens, happens. If Beast Boy hated it, then so be it. She had saved for far too long to turn back now. The money was no longer hers to be considered, and no amount of rationalizing would let her steal the money back. Besides, she had absolutely no need for money in the first place.
Raven walked away from the stand, looking for an employee. She wasn't sure how to go about buying the moped and hoped it wouldn't be too taxing of a task. If she found an employee, the worker could walk her through the steps and she might just be home before nine at night.
As she explored the isles looking for someone she could talk to, she found herself in an area of the store she hadn't earlier looked through. It was another area aimed for kids, but this time kids who were more mature. There were some electronics, a remote controlled airplane, and even sports equipment. She saw the "Help Desk" beyond the electronic center and walked towards it, leaving the video games behind. But as she left, something caught her eye.
She turned and stopped, facing the stuffed-animal section of the store, eyes glued to an object on the shelf. It was the only one left. She then observed the related toys surrounding the area, noticing they had been picked-through. All that remained of the shelf above was a stuffed animal of a cat and an action figure. The shelf below was completely empty. She glanced at the toy in on the middle shelf, propped up as if to say "I'm the only one left, forgotten and unloved." She wanted to walk away. She wanted to go to the help center and buy the moped. But she couldn't.
The doll had captivated her attention. Something about the toy resonated in her heart, and she knew Beast Boy would appreciate it. She wasn't thinking of her own selfishness when she considered buying it instead of the moped. She realized the silly toy before her, only sixteen dollars and worthless by any other standard, actually held a lot of merit. The doll held promise. Of all the things she could buy him, the toy actually felt right. Everything else felt wrong, as if her heart would be in the wrong place. Even the moped held reasonable hesitation.
Raven sighed. She knew she had now entered the mental part of her expedition. She had a difficult choice before her, and it would require both the consideration of her morals, and the evaluation of her recipient to solve it. For raven, giving a gift was always a difficult task.
Unlike some people who chose the first thing that worked and bought it, she wanted to buy something that held true significance for Beast Boy. She wanted to make him happy. She wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine, and make him smile for a change. It was a thank-you present from her to him, for all the times he had done his best to cheer her up. It was her way of righting the wrongs she may have caused him. Or to heal the endless abuse he suffered on a day-to-day basis. The boy obviously meant well, but he had a tendency to be annoying and clingy. This attitude provoked accidental anger.
This year would be different than all the other years because she had sworn she would not buy him a senseless video game. She had reasoned buying him a video game—though it may entertain him for hours—was not a true gift. She knew video games were an infallible gift. No matter what game she bought, he would enjoy it. To her, choosing a gift where she could do no wrong isn't thoughtful. It is thoughtless. Anyone can buy Beast Boy a video game. All they need to do is walk into an electronic store, close their eyes and point to a random case. And with Raven's in-depth knowledge of video games, that was pretty much all she did. Blindly choosing a game was not going to cut it this year.
Anyone can buy a gift a person can use, and even like. For this reason, the mere act of finding a likable gift does not guarantee thoughtfulness. It takes creativity, skill and even love to be able to leave the comfort zone of 'guaranteed enjoyment.' Buying an uncertain—potentially dislikable—gift requires consideration towards the recipient.
She knew if anyone spent the time to research her and bought her something other than a book, it showed that person spent time and effort thinking about her. And if someone cared that much, Raven would surely cherish that gift. In all honesty, she wanted Beast Boy to feel the same way about her own gift. She wanted him to feel like she spent time thinking about him, and that he meant something to her.
Although it is a counterintuitive conclusion, Raven knew a true gift required uncertainty. The uncertainty means the gift-giver is thinking outside the box and being creative. The gift-giver is spending the time required to show she cares.
This was the dilemma that boiled in her heart for the last few months. She needed to find him a gift that he would enjoy. But it couldn't be something so obvious—or infallible—that he was forced to enjoy it. She also couldn't bear to buy him something he disliked. Thus, she had to buy him something he would enjoy, but might dislike, but wouldn't actually dislike. And thus, she reached an impossibility.
Months ago, she had struggled with this paradox. As the weeks passed, she contemplated several possibilities. When time drew short, she gave up looking. No such gift existed.
She began to doubt her own thoughts. Buying him something he might not like? Where's the meaning in that? Surely, the point of a gift was to buy it knowing he would enjoy it. And if she wanted to buy him something he would enjoy, she knew a moped fit that description. He would be immeasurably happy to receive such a gift, and perhaps be out of her hair for many weeks. A moped was his dream. It was the one thing he wanted more than life itself, and she was so close to making his dream come true.
But the toy on the shelf, in all its cheap and tattered glory, was something unexpected. It held a significance that only Beast Boy could understand. The rest of the Titans might not get it, but there was meaning in such a gift. The problem was, 'meaning' meant nothing when compared to a lifetime dream. A moped was beyond a cute toy, or a nice sentiment. It was his life.
She sighed. She looked towards the moped and then the shelf. Beast Boy's most prized possession, or a stuffed animal. Something he would enjoy for months, or something that had no absolutely no use. An infallible gift, or perhaps more clutter to his already chaotic room. She contemplated the choice, imagining how he might react to either gift.
It took all her willpower to come to an answer. And once she reached it, she was certain. There was only one correct answer to her dilemma, and Raven bought it.
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Raven awoke to the sounds of bells and shouts and footsteps. The smells of freshly baked cookies and eggnog oozed through her bedroom door and bubbled around her bed. The other Titans were lost in the festivities, excited for the eventual party. They would open presents, have a large feast and then celebrate their only day off work. For the Titans, today was their one chance to relax and misbehave. They could finally act like children, and freak out over a little wrapping paper.
Nobody bothered to wake Raven up for two reasons. First, they figured she was probably already awake, lost in meditation or reading. Second, even if she was asleep, they knew waking her up wouldn't make the timeslot for opening gifts come any quicker. Waking her would invoke her wrath for relatively no reason. So, everyone chose to let the dark girl be, and played loud Christmas music instead.
Her sleep had been disturbed by the obnoxious noise of an unnecessarily loud holiday, but her anger was nonexistent. Her own anticipation seemed to override her irritation. She knew a box under the tree held her gift. And soon, her gift would be under judgment.
The questions seemed to echo through her head like the endless chatter of schoolhouse children. Will he like it? Did I make a mistake? What if I bought him the wrong one …? She was unsure. Had she made the right choice? Or had she guessed wrong? Only time would tell.
Raven crossed her legs and began to meditate. She hummed the words "Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" and closed her eyes, letting the time slowly drip by.
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Everyone met at the living room hall as Robin passed out the gifts. When Robin finished his job as leader, the opening of gifts commenced and everyone hurriedly tore through paper. The sounds of ripping, scratching and crashing echoed through the tower. Upon the opening of each gift, faces of Titans would light up and utter their thanks to the respective Titan who gave it to them. Raven casually looked over at Beast Boy who had not yet opened her gift.
She looked towards Robin who opened her own present and read out loud "Sun Tzu's…The Art of War?" His eyebrow rose as he spoke the book's title. Surely, he was expecting something beyond a book. But Raven knew if he gave it a chance, he would actually enjoy the read. The book was about war tactics and strategy. The boy would enjoy the ancient writer's insights on combat.
Beast Boy had given Starfire a jar of mustard, promptly causing the alien to jump up and down in joy. "Oh Beast Boy!" she cheered, "The gift you have given me is most excellent! I shall use it right away!" She unscrewed the top, and Raven quickly looked away. She couldn't stomach anything further.
At long last, she saw Beast Boy's hands fall upon the gift she had given him. He tore at the wrapping paper like a hungry animal searching for food. As the paper flew across the room, a white box could be seen from within. He opened it with held breath, wondering what it could be. And then he faltered as he saw it.
Raven had observed Beast Boy's obsession with collectables for many years. But there was one particular collection that he seemed to love the most. High up on a shelf near the Game Station, he had kept a set of dolls. They were Teen Titan dolls, crafted to resemble the team. There was a silly miniature Starfire with green hands that looked like oversized mushrooms, to signify star bolts coming out of them. There was a Cyborg doll, perhaps three sizes too big, with one hand outstretched. It was shaped like a hammer, to mimic his sonic cannon. There was a Robin doll that had a fuzzy belt, which couldn't be removed. He had a bo-staff in hand and the weapon was so big it made the toy impossible to place on the shelf properly. Beast Boy had to set miniature Robin sideways on the shelf to accommodate his awkward design.
And then there was a Raven doll, which Beast Boy often considered the best quality. Unlike the previous dolls that seemed to have glaring faults in their design, he had claimed her doll flawless. The doll mimicked the dark girl quite well. It had a detachable robe with large purple eyes and mid-shoulder hair. Her midsection was stuffed, so she could be folded and plopped against the wall like a girl sitting down. Yes, he had claimed her doll his favorite, and that sentiment was very touching to Raven.
But there was something about the collection that was missing, something depressing and painful. Beast Boy had never mentioned it, but Raven knew he regretted being the forgotten Titan. There was no Beast Boy doll to fill his collection. Beast Boy had looked all over, through at least a half-dozen stores, but nothing could be found. Did they even make a Beast Boy collectible? Nobody knew. And at every passing day, the image of Beast Boy staring up at the shelf with longing eyes has since dominated her mind. Raven knew it bothered him, not having a doll of his own on the shelf. He might not show it, but it bothered him.
Beast Boy reached into the white box and pulled out the item from within. It was a stuffed animal about the size of his hand, painted green. The animal was fuzzy and soft to the touch. Its stuffing felt like an over bloated pillow, making the dog-shaped toy look and feel a little chunky. At the store, Raven remembered bringing the stuffed animal to her head and secretly pressing it against her cheek. It was so soft, a larger version would have made the perfect pillow.
The dog was forever in a laying-down position, with his head cutely resting on his front paws, and his hind legs sprawled out behind him. This position made the dog rest perfectly on his stomach, evenly balanced. And to say the least, the toy was very well made.
The stuffed dog had an incredible likeness to Beast Boy's dog form, and she saw Beast Boy's curiosity rise. He glanced at the paper tag through the dog's ear. He gripped the paper and turned it over to read the small print. It read: "Beast Boy, the changeling who can change into any animal!" When Beast Boy finished reading, a smile grew on his face and a shimmer of delight grew in his eyes. He ran to Raven and thanked her relentlessly. He then ran to the shelf where he kept the other miniature Titan dolls and placed his along with them, proudly in the middle. His Beast Boy doll placed in between the Raven doll, and the Robin doll lying on his side.
Raven turned from Beast Boy and looked at her own gifts. Now, she searched for Beast Boy's present. She had decided to save the best for last, knowing that she would force herself to enjoy whatever pointless thing he got her. But she frowned. She had been so busy waiting for Beast Boy to open her own gift she had overlooked something important. There were only four gifts sprawled out in front of her. Had he not gotten her anything?
The thought was so foreign to her she couldn't believe it. She rechecked the gifts, expecting to have missed something. But there was nothing to miss. There were only four gifts, and not one from Beast Boy.
The Titans around her cheered and explored their own presents, oblivious to Raven's plight. Nobody noticed that she had only four items before her. Nobody noticed that she seemed slightly heartbroken. Nobody noticed that she had been forgotten.
The room grew louder as Cyborg stirred the Game Station and got ready to play his Christmas Gift. Robin jumped to the couch and joined him, sitting next to a happy Beast Boy. Starfire stood behind them, with her arms around Robin.
Raven sat alone, dumbfounded. Her body felt numb as she stood up and left the room. She ignored the happy children and walked passed her room. She let her feet slide across the metallic floor, ignoring the loud stomp of her irritated stride. She came to the staircase that would lead her to the roof. Raven marched up the stairs and entered the bitter cold.
Snow fluttered all around her, and the roof was covered in it. Not a single spot of cement lacked an inch of snow. The chilled air made her feel uncomfortable, but she ignored it. He had forgotten her. She couldn't comprehend how she felt. She had spent so much time agonizing over his gift. She had put so much effort into the holiday. And he had forgotten about her? The thoughts were almost impossible to string together.
She actually wanted to cry. She didn't, but she wished she would. Then, she would have some way to measure her sorrow. But without tears, she could only sigh and live with it. It wasn't the end of the world. Maybe he just forgot. There's no shame in that. She knew his gift would be shitty anyway. It would be some lame book she didn't want to read, or some useless trinket. Yes, Raven knew his gift would have no thought to it. But even a bad gift without thought would be better than nothing at all.
The sound of someone entering the staircase caught her ears. She wouldn't be alone for much longer. She straightened her back, made sure she really wasn't crying and drew a deep breath. She clenched her fists and gained her silent composure.
Beast Boy entered the roof with his hands crossed behind his back. He looked awkward and anxious as he walked closer. His back was arched, as if he was really embarrassed.
Every sign of his movement screamed he was nervous. No doubt, he was here to apologize for forgetting her gift. Her anger lessened and her shoulders dropped in relief. Even this was a good enough present for Raven. She would be happy to get an apology. She wasn't greedy, and the mere fact that he took the time to speak to her meant he cared.
He walked next to her and smiled. "Rae, thanks for the gift! I didn't realize they made a Beast Boy doll. They didn't forget me!"
She let her eyes scan the cloudy horizon, watching a storm cloud slowly shift in the distance. "It was the last one left."
His eyes focused on her, still seemingly happy. She was waiting for the apology, but he never showed the face. In fact, he seemed far too happy to do the job. "Seriously, that was like the coolest gift ever! I didn't think anyone noticed there was no little Beast Boy toy in our collection," he said.
She shrugged. His happiness was bothering her. She muttered, "I wouldn't be too happy if I were you. I was going to buy you a moped, but I bought you that instead."
He looked at her for a long second, as if stunned by her words. "A moped?" And then he started laughing, "Dude! That would have sucked! I've been saving for years to buy one of those. It doesn't mean anything if you just bought it for me. Your gift was way, WAY better!"
This completely confused Raven. Of all the things he could have said, she never would have guessed he actually wanted to earn the moped on his own. He was acting responsible, and that was something he could never be described. She didn't know how to respond.
And she didn't have to when Beast Boy's grin widened even further. "Okay Rae, my turn!"
Her eyebrow rose. "For what?" she asked.
He uncrossed his arms and revealed a black box he had been hiding behind his back. He held it out to her. "Your Christmas present!" he cheered.
Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She inspected the box. Was she dreaming? She quickly pushed the thought out of her mind and wondered what it could be. "What is it?" she asked.
"C'mon Rae, just open it!"
She nodded and hesitantly lifted the top of the box. From inside, she saw it. She saw the slight shine and watched a slow snowflake land within. He had given her a golden necklace with an amethyst jewel. The gold chain matched the yellow areas of her uniform, and the jewel twinkled like her eyes.
Her voice was faint. "Beast Boy, you know I don't like jewelry…" she said.
"Yeah, I know. But when I saw it, it totally screamed Raven and I knew I had it get it." He smiled at her and began to walk towards the staircase. He glanced back and called out, "I hear Cyborg got Insane Monkey Racers 3. I have to get in on that. I'll see you later!" He jumped with perhaps too much enthusiasm and stormed out of sight.
She stared back at the gem in her hand. Without words or thoughts cluttering her mind, she took off her cloak and neatly laid it on the damp ground. She draped the necklace around her neck, and positioned it to fall between her breasts. She grabbed the cloak and put it back on.
Her hooded cape perfectly blocked the golden chain and covered up some of the gem. But if anyone cared to look close enough, they would see Beast Boy's Christmas present shining underneath. Her hands gripped the railing of the roof as she felt the snow dance with her hair. She felt the chilled air fight against her frame and her hands grow slightly numb. But for that fleeting moment, everything was okay. She didn't mind the winter; she actually liked it.
And she would always cherish his gift.
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The End