A/N: Well, I promised a Season 2, and here it is! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, the twelve days of Christmas, tasers, emos, teddy bears, blankies, eggnog, All My Children, or any kind of soap opera.
The 12 Legendaries of Christmas, Season 2
On the first day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Mewtwo: Honestly, who would give you anything for Christmas?
Must we go through this again?! I have a taser and I'm not afraid to use it!
Mewtwo: I'm just being honest.
One the first day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
A Celebi in a pine tree!
Not again! Where is that Celebi?!
Dialga: This time she's in the year 3000.
What will it take to get her here on time for once?! She's a time traveler; you'd think she'd know how to be on time!
Dialga: I'll go get her. *disappears*
Well, let's just move on.
On the second day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Two psychic cats,
Mew: Um… hi, Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: Um… hi.
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Dialga: *reappears* I found her!
Celebi: Sorry about that. I was about to go, but then I remembered what happened the last time, so I went to the bathroom before I left.
Good plan. Now get in the tree!
Celebi: Pushy as always… *stands on the treetop posing like a ballerina*
On the third day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Three great titans,
Kyogre: Stupid lizard!
Groudon: Rotten fish!
Rayquaza: Not again…
Two psychic cats,
Mew: So… um… about what happened last year.
Mewtwo: I don't want to talk about it.
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: Wow! I sure can see a lot from up here!
On the forth day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Four legendary golems,
Regirock: What's up with those two?
Regice: They're still feeling very awkward about that kiss last year.
Registeel: They think that's awkward? Kissing you; now that would be awkward!
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: You were getting along so well last year!
Kyogre: Things change!
Two psychic cats,
Mew: I just wanted to tell you that…
Mewtwo: Forget it! I said I don't want to talk about it, and that's that!
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: *humming "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus"*
On the fifth day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Five legendary birds,
Lugia: Did everyone take care of everything before we left this time?
Moltres, Zapdos, and Articuno: Yes.
Four legendary golems,
Regice: What do you mean by that?
Registeel: Well, you don't exactly have lips. How could anyone kiss you?
Regirock: He has a point.
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: What kind of things?
Groudon: Just things! You shouldn't butt into our business!
Two psychic cats,
Mew: Mewtwo, this is really important…
Mewtwo: I don't care about that! I'm just trying to forget that it ever happened!
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: Ooh, spicy.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Six Jirachi wishes,
Jirachi: What are you going to wish for this year? It's not chocolate, is it?
Giratina: No, not this time.
Five legendary birds,
Lugia: Articuno, can I speak to you in private for a few minutes?
Articuno: Sure.
Zapdos: *whispering* Hey Moltres, check out what I found!
Four legendary golems,
Regice: Oh, so because of that, I'll never have a steady boyfriend?
Regigigas: You have to admit, kissing is a very important part of the relationship.
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: Tell me what happened.
Kyogre and Groudon: No!
Two psychic cats,
Mew: Daddy! Mewtwo won't let me speak!
Arceus: Mewtwo, let her speak or I'll smite you.
Mewtwo: Fine.
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: This is getting fun! It's like watching a soap opera!
On the seventh day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Seven sea princes,
Manaphy: *sighs*
Phione: Something wrong, your Highness?
Manaphy: No; I'm just thinking.
Six Jirachi wishes,
Jirachi: Please don't take as long as the last time.
Giratina: I can't make any promises.
Five legendary birds,
Moltres: *gasps* Isn't that…?!
Zapdos: *cackling evilly* Yes, it is, sister! Articuno's diary!
Four legendary golems,
Regice: How am I supposed to find a man if I can't even kiss?!
Regirock: Why are you worried about that? You're a legendary; you can't breed anyways!
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: Tell me right now or it's back to your prisons with both of you!
Groudon: She stole my teddy bear!
Kyogre: Only because you stole my blanky!
Two psychic cats,
Mew: *fidgeting a little* Well… this is kind of… hard for me to say…
Mewtwo: Take your time.
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: Here it comes…
Dialga: Celebi, you're supposed to be posing, not watching Mew and Mewtwo's conflict of epic proportions.
Celebi: But it's fun!
On the eighth day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Eight volcanic eruptions,
*volcano erupts*
Suicune: Entei! What did I say last year?!
Entei: No volcanic eruptions…
Seven sea princes,
Phione: Thinking? About what?
Manaphy: Just about how I'm going to rule the seas someday. Kyogre says it'll happen after she retires, but knowing her, that won't happen.
Six Jirachi wishes,
Jirachi: Come on! Pick up the pace!
Giratina: Good things take time, little one.
Five legendary birds,
Lugia: Hold on a second, Articuno. *shouting* Ho-Oh! Keep Entei under control!
Ho-Oh: Sorry! He got away from me!
Four legendary golems,
Regice: Look; just because I can't breed doesn't mean I can't have a relationship!
Registeel: She has a point there.
Regigigas: Can't we talk about this over some eggnog?
Regirock: Don't start that again!
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: So all this is about two stolen objects?
Groudon: Yes! Because of that sea slug, I haven't slept in three weeks!
Kyogre: You took my blanky first, lizard breath!
Two psychic cats,
Mew: Well… that kiss last year… I… uh…
Mewtwo: Get on with it!
Arceus: Don't rush her!
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: It's so romantic! Why can't my love life be like that?
Dialga: Because you don't have a love life.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Nine space anomalies,
Deoxys: Stop my breathing and slit my throat! I have no purpose in the world I exist in!
Palkia: Can someone help me out? Deoxys has gone emo!
Eight volcanic eruptions,
*volcano erupts*
Suicune: Entei! What did I just say?!
Entei: It was Heatran this time!
Seven sea princes,
Phione: So you're just going to give up?
Manaphy: I didn't say that. I'm trying to come up with a way to convince Kyogre to retire.
Shaymin: Should I give her some poison ivy?
Manaphy: We'll save that as a last resort.
Six Jirachi wishes,
Jirachi: Must I suffer through this every year?!
Five legendary birds,
Moltres: Brother, you wouldn't dare!
Zapdos: Yes, I would! I'm going to read it!
Four legendary golems,
Regice: Where am I going to find a guy who won't find it awkward kissing me?!
Regigigas: There's someone out there for you somewhere; I know there is.
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: Why don't you just make a trade? Groudon's teddy bear for Kyogre's blanket.
Kyogre: It's pronounced blanky!
Two psychic cats,
Mew: *fidgeting further* I… actually enjoyed it… a little bit.
Mewtwo: Oh, really?
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: Here comes the confession!
Dialga: Celebi, focus on the task at hand!
On the tenth day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Ten spiritual powers,
Mesprit: I'm starting to get confused by all this.
Uxie: I'm not. It all makes perfect sense to me.
Azelf: So how about you explain it to those who aren't as smart as you?
Nine space anomalies,
Deoxys: Darkness consumes my very being… leave me to rot in eternal night.
Palkia: Sheesh, this guy is annoying!
Eight volcanic eruptions,
Suicune: Heatran! Don't cause volcanic eruptions just for the heck of it!
Heatran: You don't have the power to order me around!
Seven sea princes,
Manaphy: It has to be something subtle, yet brilliant!
Phione: Can we shoot her out of a cannon?
Manaphy: There wouldn't be a cannon big enough.
Six Jirachi wishes,
Jirachi: I'm starting to regret taking up this wish-granting business.
Five legendary birds,
Moltres: If you do that, I'm telling Lugia!
Zapdos: You are such a tattletale.
Four legendary golems,
Regice: Then it's settled; I won't rest until I find a guy that I can kiss!
Regirock: Nice, Regigigas. Now you've made her even crazier.
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: Whatever; just do a switch and everything will be fine, right?
Groudon and Kyogre: I guess.
Two psychic cats,
Mew: And… um… I was just wondering if…
Mewtwo: *sighs*
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: Here it comes!
Dialga: Focus or you're going to fall!
Celebi: I can fly; falling doesn't matter to me.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Eleven Soul Dews,
Latias: Can I watch the soap opera?
Latios: What soap opera?
Latias: The one Mew and Mewtwo are acting out.
Latios: Oh, that one. Sure, just try not to bother them.
Ten spiritual powers,
Uxie: Alright, I make this as simple as I can. Mew enjoyed the kiss from last year and she's trying to ask Mewtwo if he'd like to be a couple with her. Meanwhile, Deoxys is depressed because he believes that he doesn't fit in, and Palkia is having a hard time with him. Kyogre and Groudon are fighting over two stolen objects, Regice wants someone to kiss her and not find it awkward, Zapdos has stolen Articuno's diary and is trying to read it, Heatran is suffering from pyromania, Manaphy is plotting Kyogre's downfall, and Giratina is annoying Jirachi. Any questions?
Azelf: How do we fit into all of this?
Nine space anomalies,
Palkia: Please cheer up, Deoxys. It's Christmas, the season of joy!
Deoxys: I'm not feeling very joyful right now.
Eight volcanic eruptions,
Raikou: You're a stinking pyro, Heatran!
Heatran: And I'm proud of it!
Seven sea princes,
Manaphy: Do any of you have any ideas?
Shaymin: I could use Seed Flare and trap her in Giratina's dimension for a while.
Phione: Too intense.
Manaphy: Actually, that could work.
Six Jirachi wishes,
Jirachi: If you want to wish for more chocolate, just say so!
Giratina: Fine; I wish for a lifetime supply of chocolate!
Jirachi: Sheesh, the Pokemon I have to put up with…
Five legendary birds,
Articuno: Okay, I'm back! Hey, is that my diary?!
Moltres: Zapdos stole it and was about to read it!
Zapdos: Snitch!
Four legendary golems,
Regice: In the meantime, I'll watch my favorite soap opera: "All My Legendaries".
Registeel: Oh, you mean the Mew and Mewtwo thing, right?
Regice: Exactly.
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: Alright. Now, don't you both feel better?
Kyogre: *crying* Oh, blanky! I've missed you so much! Did that nasty old lizard hurt you?
Groudon: *crying* Mr. Flufflekins! I was so worried! That good for nothing sea urchin didn't hurt you, did she?
Rayquaza: Never mind.
Two psychic cats,
Mew: So I was wondering if… um… maybe you and I could… do it again?
Mewtwo: What?!
Mew: As… boyfriend and girlfriend?
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: Say yes! Say yes!
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
A trainer gave to me,
Twelve lunar phases,
Cresselia: I just love a good soap opera!
Darkrai: Why are they called soap operas? They have nothing to do with soap or singing.
Cresselia: I honestly don't know.
Eleven Soul Dews,
Latias: Big brother, do you know why they're called soap operas?
Latios: Maybe Uxie knows.
Ten spiritual powers,
Uxie: Of course I know! I know everything! The name "soap opera" stems from the original dramatic serials broadcast on radio that had soap manufacturers as sponsors.
Mesprit: Wow, you really do know everything.
Nine space anomalies,
Deoxys: All I want for Christmas is a nice, shiny, sharp razor.
Palkia: *sighs* I give up.
Eight volcanic eruptions,
*two volcanoes erupt*
Raikou and Suicune: Entei! Heatran!
Entei: What? I'm a pyro, too.
Suicune: Ho-Oh! Entei's being a pyro!
Ho-Oh: Entei, could you tone it down a notch?
Seven sea princes,
Shaymin: Okay, so when are we going to do it?
Manaphy: After the Christmas party, when everyone else has gone home.
Six Jirachi wishes,
Jirachi: How about I give you chocolate every year? If that's all you ever ask for, why draw it out?
Giratina: Because I like messing with you.
Five legendary birds,
Zapdos: So what if I did steal your diary? What are you going to do about it!
Lugia: It's not her you need to worry about; it's me.
Four legendary golems,
Regice: I love a good soap opera.
Regigigas: It's the ones with a lot of plot twists that interest me.
Regirock: You watch soap operas?
Regigigas: Sometimes.
Three great titans,
Rayquaza: Will you two ever get along?
Kyogre: Not in this lifetime!
Groudon: Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to see if Mewtwo says yes.
Two psychic cats,
Mewtwo: Well, Mew, this is all very sudden. I've taken a moment to think, and my answer is yes.
Mew: Really?!
Mewtwo: Really. *the two kiss*
Arceus, Rayquaza, Kyogre, Groudon, Mesprit, Uxie, Azelf, Deoxys, Dialga, Palkia, Celebi, Giratina, Jirachi, Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Lugia, Ho-Oh, Latios, Latias, Entei, Raikou, Suicune, Heatran, Cresselia, Darkrai, Manaphy, Phione, Shaymin, Regirock, Regice, Registeel and Regigigas: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
And a Celebi in a pine tree!
Celebi: I love a happy ending!
A/N: This one was more romantic then funny, but I'm still proud of it! My favorite part to write was the bit with Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza.