This is a really long one just for my fans who asked! ^^) I was thinking this would be the last one, but I'll see where it goes first. Sorry it took an incredibly long time to write this, I was soooo busy! This one is a play! (I know, I just had to do one of those musical things). Just to let you know, me and my sis co-wrote this, and together we're a pretty strange team (she put the songs in, so don't blame me!) :). Ok, here is the stunning conclusion!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Time of My Life, Me and My Gang, The Emo Song, or Twilight.

Ch. 3

Emmett was driving everyone crazy. Literitly. Of course, I should have known this would happen. Why did I give him human food?

He walked into the room clutching his stomach. He tried not to let us know about his stomach ache. I figured he was too proud to hear "I told you so." Then again, maybe he didn't want his food taken away. Whatever the reason, Emmett was a horrible actor. "Hi...guys...ow...what's happening?....ah!....I was just.....wondering if....you've seen my....pies?" That was his big thing now. Emmett still loved peanut butter, but it reminded him of loosing to Alvin and the Chipmunks. That was a sore topic to him.

Alice began laughing uncontrollably, but as always kept her thoughts to herself. Even Edward glared as he found her thoughts guarded. "Gotta go. Bye Bella, Edward, Jasper, Rosalie, Esme." She smiled. "And last but not least, Emmett!"

As soon as she left, I heard a car pull up. Oh good, Carlisle was going to be part of Emmett's tor- fun. He opened the door and in walked the doctor himself, followed closely by Jacob and Renesmee. These people had the worst timing! This time, though, Jacob would be in the middle of whatever Emmett had planned.

"Oh, everybody's here! ow! I can...tell everyone at the same....time!"

Edward spoke up, "Alice isn't here."

"Yeah, where is that foreseeing midget?" Jacob still didn't use names.

"Um... I think the word is pixie." Renesmee corrected.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Pixie?!"

"Enough." Emmett interupted. "Whatever...she is...gah!...she was in on....ow!....it!"

Everybody groaned. What was he planning? Better yet, what could be so bad that Alice joined Emmett, possibly just to avoid taking part?

"We're....making a....ah!....play/musical....in front of....the whole town!" He held up a stack of scripts, throwing them to people at random.

Edward sighed. "Can't you talk to use before writing scripts....or buying tickets?"

Emmett tried his best to look sad, but failed. "If I did...ouch!....that, then...you would say no!"

I looked at Edward, "That's true."

Emmett nodded. "Ok, now...I will tell you your...parts...Bella..arg!...baker...Edward....baker's....gah!...chicken-"

"WHAT?! I'M NOT BEING A FREAKING CHICKEN, EMMETT!!"

"Don't...interupt Edward!" Emmett paused, then continued. "I'm a...man...when will this pain ever cease?! no no, I'm fine...hungry for pie...Rosie....is...my equally...gosh darn, this hurts!...hungry wife."

"Emmett, I'm not eating pies."

"Oh yes...you will...honey....now...Jasper's an...emo who hates pie...Carlisle and Esme...ow!...Jasper's parents."

Jasper glared at Emmett. Carlisle and Esme sighed in relief, they're parts weren't that bad.

"Renesmee....random girl...who gets...Jasper...to like..pie...Jacob is..aaaahhhh!...Renesmee's dog....a chihuahua."

Jacob's mouth flew open and his eyes grew huge. "I don't look anything like a chihuahua! Ok, I'm leaving! I don't know why I came here, anyway."

Renesmee grabbed his hand. "Because I'm here, and if I have to go through this torture you're coming with me!"

"At least you aren't a chicken!" Edward said glumily. Then to Emmett he said, "You're crazy if you think I'm acting like a chicken."

"You aren't...just going to...act like a chicken...you're dressing...like one!"

"Why did you buy a chicken suit?! And that is Alice's size, I'll never be able to fit!"

Emmett shrugged. "Alice was...supposed to be...ow!...the chicken...but she saw what I was planning....and made a truce....she's helping me...now!"

Rosalie stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. "Emmy, I could make a truce with you." She batted her eyelashes. Everyone exchanged a look that said oh dear!

Emmett smiled, "Oh...you'll be in the....play...ow! ooohh!....you just won't have to...eat pie."

The room once again erupted into groans, but this time Rosalie was cheering happily.

hours later

Everyone was in costume, and let me just say that we looked rediculous. Jacob had phased, but still looked nothing like a chihuahua. Edward was the funniest, though. His chicken suit looked about four sizes too small, making his legs stick out way past the amount they were supposed to. I hid my laughter with a violent coughing fit. The curtain raised suddenly, Rosalie and Emmett's turns. He was laying on a bed looking pathetic. (a/n I made the parts abbreviated cause I didn't want to write out the names, but you can probably tell who's who.)

E: Oh...my beautiful....wife...come here...I am dying.

R: Yes dear?

E: I remember...my most treasured...childhood memory....eating pie...please...I want some...before I die.

R: Of course, dear. I will find the best baker in the land. You will have your pie!

Something that sounded suspiciously like The Time of My Life by David Cook was playing in the background. The lights shifted and Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme walked out. Wow, this play was already way too chessy for me.

Es: What is wrong, my child?

J: Pie is horrible. I hate it!

C: He should not be forced to eat something he doesn't like, and neither shall the townspeople. As king, I ban pie!

The scene shifted to me, and I came out. I noticed for the first time the amount of people. Everyone we had ever met was sitting there staring at the cheesey lines Emmett had written. Oh joy! Sitting right up front was the traitor herself. She smiled and waved to me. If not for my part, I would have yelled at her, or at least glared.

R: Quick! You must make a pie for my dieing husband. It is his last wish!

B: I'm sorry, pies were banned just this morning.

R: Oh no! What can I do? (Renesmee and Jacob walk in)

Re: I can help! I will go and convince the prince to like pie.

R: Oh thank you, kind stranger! Please, hurry.

Ja: (barks)

Re: (music begins to play) Way on down to southern Alabama, With the guitars jammin' that's where we're headed, Straight up to Butte, Montana singin' Lord I was born a ramblin' man, California to Oregon, Even New York City got one or two hillbillies ready to hit the road, It's a brother and a sister kinda thang, Raise up your hands if you all wanna hang with, Me and my gang, We live to ride, we ride to live, Me and my gang, Jump on that train, Grab a hold of them reins, We gonna rock this thang, cock this thang, Me and my gang

J: (dramatically) bark!

Re: We got hippies, gypsies, freaks and geeks, High class women in Daisy Duke denim, Bangin' on gongs and singin' our songs, Dude named Elrock jammin on an iPod, Beer and bonfires
Wide open throttle, Coors in a bottle, It's all for one and ONE FOR ALL YA'LL, It's a brother and a sister kinda thang, Raise up your hands if you all wanna hang with, With me and my gang, We live to ride, we ride to live, Me and my gang, Jump on that train, Grab a hold of them reins, We gonna rock this thang, cock this thang, Me and my gang

J: Bark!

(a/n we just HAD to add that song, it reminds me and my sis of Jacob and his friends :) ). The scene switched to the castle once again.

Re: Prince, you must get your parents to get rid of the law banning. A man is dieing and his last wish is to eat some pie.

J: No! (Pauses and reluctantly mumbles)....because I'm emo and hate pie! (a piano intro of some kind plays) E is for emotional, ruins everybody's day, M is for miserable peeeooople, O is for the daaark side, cause we have some fresh cookies! (a/n once again, my sis's choice :) )

Ja: (barks angrily)

Re: Exactly! What my pet...uh...chihuahua said!

J: (is supposed to look uneasy, but begins laughing histerically)

Ja: (growls at Jasper)

J: Ok ok!...er...I have tried pie, and I don't see how anyone could eat it. It tastes like dirt!

The last part Jasper added himself. All of the vampires knew what he was talking about and tried not to burst out laughing.

Re: You must not have eaten pies from the best baker in the land. Here, try some (hands Jasper a piece of pie)

J: (sighs) fine! I will try the pie, but I'd better like it! (tries pie while forcing himself not to gag, then forces a smile) Yum. Best pie I've ever tasted. From now on, this baker shall be the only one to make pies.

Everyone gathered at Emmett's bedside. Jasper mumbled just low enough for us to hear "Oh, he'll pay for that one! Yuck, that was distgusting!" I nodded inconspiciously. Emmett was a horrible play writer.

R: Honey, I have your pie. Here you are.

E: Thank...you! (eats pie) Wow...I feel...better now!

B: Yes, all thanks to my pet chicken

Ed: (walks in and squawks like a chicken half-heartedly as the audience rumbles with laughter)

The cast stood in front of the audience and did the traditional hold hands and bow thing. We walked off just as the people in the audience began to talk. I recognized a few voices and groaned internally. Then backstage everybody began yelling at Emmett.

"That had no point!"

"Emmy, my hair's a mess now!"

"I didn't even have a part, why'd I dress up like a chicken?!"

Emmett smiled. "I have an...explaination for...ow!...everything....You can't catch me!" We all watched as he ran five feet before collapsing. "Ow! Darn food!"

Carlisle went to Emmett's side, "Ok, fun's over. Let's go hunting." Emmett relunctantly followed.

As soon as he was gone, Edward turned to us. "After he's done hunting we start our revenge!" He thought for a moment, then added "And his equally annoying accomplice, too. Deal?"

"Deal!" Everyone agreed with a smile. Oh, this would be good!