Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. But I'd love it as a Christmas present!

AN: Speaking of presents, this short fic is a present to BA's IchiRuki FC...Yeah another one of those stories XD It especially goes out to those who manage the super busy FC (over 500 members!) and those who translate and bring us tons of goodies. So thanks Syn, Annie, Mel, Sketchy, and everyone!

Forgetting Christmas

In the division five headquarters of the Gotei 13, Ichigo Kurosaki—

Ahem

Captain Ichigo Kurosaki, was drumming his fingers anxiously on his new desk waiting for the damned clock to strike five, so he could get up, get out, and get home to Rukia.

He'd only recently moved to Soul Society and taken up an officer's position, and sadly, he'd discovered that being a captain was a lot more…lame than he thought it would be. There wasn't much fighting or protecting people, but rather a lot more delegating and signing his damned name over and over and over.

Ichigo glanced at the stubborn clock that refused to give him a single tick, let alone a tock, and snorted. "I guess the pen is mightier than the sword…" he grumbled while shaking out his cramped digits; Zangetsu practically collecting dust in the corner. "Or maybe," He mused to entertain himself for the last few minutes of the day, " 'many wearing rapiers are afraid of goosequills.' "

"Eeeh?"

Ichigo startled at the crude sound of Renji barging in—uninvited of course—and dumping himself into a plush chair.

Renji proceeded to put his feet up, on the aforementioned new desk, to make himself comfortable. "How the hell did you get Rukia to marry you when you're saying dumb shit like that to yourself?" he mocked jovially.

Ichigo reflexively knocked Renji's big feet away and sneered good-naturedly. "It's not shit, it's Shakespeare…" he corrected. "And I don't do it in front of Rukia…so keep your big mouth shut!"

"Che." Renji smirked. "Big captain scared of his little wifey?" Renji goaded, but Ichigo was quick with a comeback and smirked.

"Maybe the big vice-captain's a little jealous on both counts?"

Renji slammed his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "Hey! I'm just as much a captain as you are! We're both on probation until Yamamota-taicho officially swears us in!"

Ichigo pushed his forehead right against Renji's like the stubborn goats they were. "Then why am I the only one wearing a captain's haori dumbass?"

The blank look on Renji's face was priceless, but he recovered quickly, effectively headbutting Ichigo when he thought of something to say. "They just haven't made mine yet because I'm not as scrawny as you!"

"OW! That hurt! And did you call me scrawny?!"

Knock…Knock

A tentative knock at the doorframe took both men…or rather the childish buffoons…by surprise. "What?!" They shouted together at the poor fool who dared intrude on their friendly banter.

"Er…Kurosaki-taicho?" A frightened looking messenger stood with a piece of parchment sticking out of his robes, indicating another form for Ichigo to sign away on.

Renji snickered at Ichigo's misfortune, while the former substitute-shinigami turned full time merely rolled his eyes and held out his hand.

"S-sorry, taicho." The nameless messenger stuttered as he stepped forward awkwardly. "I didn't mean to…uh...i-interrupt your conversation."

Ichigo signed the scroll with a quick and now practiced flourish of his name, barely reading what he was signing off on. "Yeah, yeah." He grumbled. "It's not your fault this crap is never ending."

The messenger scurried out as soon as Ichigo gave him the signed paper back, and Renji went around the desk to slap Ichigo roughly on the shoulder in what was a painful attempt at comfort. "Ah, don't complain Ichigo. You could think of it as a type of Christmas present from Soul Society." He joked.

Ichigo pushed away and stood up with a snort. "Yeah, some pres-" He paused mid-sentence and his face paled. "Did you just say Christmas?" he asked almost breathlessly.

Renji backed away hesitantly. "Uh...yeah?" he frowned in confusion.

"It's the 25th?! Of December?!" Ichigo cried out shrilly.

"Every freaking year." Renji snorted shrewdly losing his patience at Ichigo's odd behavior. "Damn Ichigo, you're the one who told me about it in the first place."

"Oh crap I totally forgot!" Ichigo's hands flew up to grasp his hair and yank the orange roots. He forgot Christmas. He forgot…Christmas!? Ichigo tugged his hair again as if to punish the head that managed to forget such an important day for newlyweds.

Ichigo collapsed right back into his chair. His legs felt soggy, but his arms and back were still rigid with tension and fear. "Rukia's going to kill me." Ichigo moaned dreadfully. "I haven't even gotten her anything." He looked at the clock that once again betrayed him, as now it was willing to move far faster towards Ichigo's impending doom.

Renji either ignored or deemed Ichigo's meltdown as unimportant because he grinned widely and started to unwrap something from his pockets. "Wanna see what I got Rukia?"

"No." Ichigo deadpanned before taking a double take at the offending object Renji was showing off. "What the hell is that?!" he cried out suddenly.

Renji's smile only stretched further. "It's a snow globe!" he said proudly.

"Yeah I know that, but what is that, that thing inside it?"

"It's Seaweed Ambassador!"

Ichigo faceplanted.

Again, Renji ignored the new captain's behavior and shook the globe around, letting the snow inside float around prettily. "I got one for Kuchiki-taicho too. They're gonna love this thing!"

Ichigo slowly recovered, but was no less disturbed by Renji's horrible choice in gifts, or the fact that Rukia and Byakuya actually would love it.

Renji glanced away from the swirling flakes and waving sea creature to give a nod to Ichigo. "You know man, I should tell ya, the 13th division is having a Christmas party today, so you might actually have a few hours to get something for Rukia last minute."

"Seriously?" Ichigo got up rejuvenated—and eager to put some distance from that abomination on his desk—to scramble out the door, dragging Renji behind him. "Oh man, I'm so lucky that Ukitake is still Rukia's captain right now." Ichigo breathed in relief. He held out Renji like a red-haired, tattooed, hound-dog towards the rukon districts. "Okay Renji, show me where I can get a gift for Rukia!" He demanded enthusiastically.

Renji elbowed Ichigo in the jaw and shuffled away. "Get off me! I'm not your personal shopper! I don't know what to get Rukia!"

Ichigo rubbed his face scowling. "You've known her for centuries. You've gotta have some clue." He reasoned.

Renji crossed his arms haughtily. "I came up with the snow globe idea months back and had it specially made. I've got no idea what to get Rukia here in Soul Society last minute. Crap here takes time." He explained. "We don't exactly have malls and convenience stores."

"Shit, you're right." Ichigo realized. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "I guess the only thing I can do is make a quick trip to the real world."

Renji shrugged. "That sounds smart for once. Don't know why you're freaking out when that was always an option."

Ichigo gave Renji a pointed glare. "I have maybe a few hours to come up with the perfect gift, go to the real world, find it, buy it, wrap it, and come back here before Rukia knows I ever left."

Renji blinked. "Yeaaaaah?" He drawled out completely missing the gist.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "You know nothing about Christmas."

"At least I remembered it."