Konan strolled down the long hallway at the Akatsuki headquarters idly folding a sheet of paper into a fish. She vaguely considered playing a mildly amusing prank on Kisame involving the fish, some blue paint, and a bowl of soup; but quickly thought better of it after remembering how well her last practical joke had gone over with the shark man. Itachi had to use Mangekyou Sharingan to stop him for beating the cowering Konan to a bloody pulp.

As she continued on her journey, Konan had the misfortune of walking by a door. It was an ordinary door, wooden with a long brass handle, which makes it odd that walking by it could cause misfortune, but it could, which is apparent by the events that are about to unfold.

"Deidara, stop fussing and get on already," said the unmistakable sound of Sasori's voice. Konan froze, not entirely sure if she heard what she had thought she heard.

"Ya, ya, I'm going, un," followed Deidara, "It's not like you're being any help." There was a loud grunt followed by mild swearing from Sasori. "This damn cloak is getting in the way, un"

"So take it off." A moments silence, then, "Ugh, you're heavy," groaned the puppet master, there was a sharp, almost indignant thud, quickly followed by Sasori saying, "Easy now, no need to break me." Deidara scoffed audibly.

"As if I could, you're harder than a rock, and besides, if I'm so heavy, you can be on top next time, un."

Konan could not believe her ears. Unless she was very much mistaken, and she didn't believe she was, she was becoming a partial witness in the sort of scene many girls dream about seeing. As quietly as possible, she leaned against the door, curious and horrified at the same time.

Deidara gave a low whistle, "That's huge, Sasori-no-danna, are you sure you can handle it, hm?"

"Yes, I can handle it, now just grab it, or are your hands not big enough?" snapped Sasori irritably. Konan quickly became unsure of whether she should be delighted or disgusted. She settled on an odd mixture of the two that made her strain to hear more, and yet have an expression of deep revulsion.

"Almost there," panted Deidara after another moments silence. There was the sound of great straining.

"Oh God," yelled Sasori suddenly, "Keep those filthy hand-mouth things OFF of it."

"It's the easiest way," responded Deidara, also yelling. Konan gnawed her lip in glee; this was much better than she has ever imagined. Not that she spent time imagining such things.

"It's disgusting," snarled the redheaded man.

"Ya, well you can't complain as you're on the bottom. I'm doing all the work, un," Deidara grumbled. Sasori gave a loud grunt of dissent, but said nothing until three minutes later. Konan counted.

"Why the hell does Pein keep it up so high?" he inquired finally, strain apparent in his voice. Konan did a swift Irish jig at the delicious mental image this presented, before settling down to listen once again.

"No clue," grunted the endearing blonde, "Ow, damn, Sasori – that really hurts, un."

"Deal with it," Sasori responded cruelly, "But he's an idiot, it's not like we don't know it's there. He uses it all the time."

At this point, Konan nearly fainted with pleasure. Pein was in on this too? Next they'd be discussing Hidan's talent at such things. Not that she thought about that either.

"Ugh,I don't think this is any good, Sasori-no-danna, we need someone bigger, un," groaned Deidara.

"Just try harder, we're so close." There was a particularly loud groan from both the men and then a triumphant noise burst from the other side of the door.

"We did it, un!" exclaimed Deidara joyfully.

"Told you," smirked Sasori tiredly. There was an ominous creak.

"Uh-oh," breathed Deidara. A sudden loud crash shook the floor where Konan stood, now horrified, having been hit with the full realization of what has just happened. Her thoughts were interrupted by Sasori's laughter.

"That was perfect. Right in the face," he chortled. Deidara groaned and was then silent. "Oh, geez, are you unconscious again? Really, boy, you'd think you'd be used to this by now."

Someone, presumably Sasori, walked towards the door. Konan immediately leapt to the spot where she would be hidden once the door opened and tried to disguise her newly found disgust at the situation. Sasori casually walked from the room, thankfully going in the opposite direction of where Konan was hiding. There was silence.

After a rather long mental debate, Konan crept around the door and peered into the room. Deidara lay on the floor, unconscious. His cloak was thrown on the floor beside him and there was a bottle of something laying beside it. Half of the words were blocked by Deidara's hand. What she could read scared her. Lubri- Frightened, she turned and walked from the room, never to be the same again.

XxxxX

Sasori strolled happily down the hallway, tightly clutching the hammer he and Deidara had struggled to get to. The entire thing had turned out alright, even if his shoulders were a bit sore from having Deidara stand on them. He felt slightly remorseful for leaving Deidara lying on the floor, but it was his fault for tipping over the shelf and getting smacked in the face with the bottle, anyway.

He shrugged and locked himself in his room, throwing a look at the broken Hiruko. He glanced at the hammer at his hand and smiled, glad that he could finally fix it.

-Fin.