Beautiful Stranger

Disclaimer: Avatar is not mine, but I wish it was.

I am not gay. I just need to be up front about that little piece of information.

I was on a ship with dozens of other refugees when I saw him. On a boat with dozens of strangers… he stood out to me. I know what you're thinking, and it was not the large scar that covered half of his face, but, it was something else, something intangible.

I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew I needed to know more about him. I needed to befriend him, I needed him in my life somehow. I just watched him for a while, but what was left of my gang started getting a little suspicious.

I need to make a move and I saw my opportunity when he complained about the rotten gruel we were being fed. After I suggested we raid the captain's private galley, he joined us, even if for a short time. His movements showed he was trained somehow, the way he moved and used his swords I knew his fighting skills were excellent; someone that would be a challenge to me if we became sparring partners. That night and every night thereafter we ate well, and we ate together.

The shared experience of robbing the galley bonded us. I was especially nice to his fat old uncle even when he ate more than his portion after we did all the work. The aura I sensed about him, that drew me to him was even stronger. You know how sometimes someone looks like they would be a great person, and after you spend time with them you realize you were dead wrong. I wasn't. He was a bit sullen, brooding, and very mysterious. And everything about him fueled my need to be near him.

In spite of the raids and all, we hadn't had much time to get to know each other. Our last night on the boat I managed to lure him away from his uncle and my gang, I told him I needed to discuss something with him. We walked to a secluded part of the boat where most everyone else was asleep. The moon was full and it was a beautiful night. I got him to open up just a bit about his family and how he missed his mother who had died 5 years earlier. That moment of vulnerability brought down his carefully guarded defenses. That's when I realized that I didn't want to be his friend, I wanted to be his lover.

I put my arm around him as if to console him, and he allowed me. After we were comfortable in that position for a few moments I ran my other hand down his cheek, his skin was smooth and even softer than it looked. I pulled his face up gently by the chin. He was definitely surprised when I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. At first it felt like he would pull away, but then he finally gave into the kiss. I was in heaven when I felt his arm wrap around my torso. We kissed long and hard with our bodies pressed up against each other. We explored each other's mouths and I took in his strange flavor that reminded me of the smoke of sweet incense.

When we pulled away he looked me in the eyes and his went wide as if reality came crashing down around him. He pulled away from me suddenly; I wanted to speak with him, comfort him and ensure him that everything was all right… that this thing between us was right. I wanted to put my arm around him again, I felt empty without him in my space after just those two minutes.

"I have to go" he said as he practically ran back to the part of the ship with his uncle.

I can't lie, my feelings were hurt, he was supposed to feel what I felt and pledge is undying love for me. But I realized that he needed a chance to get used to it as I had taken over the last few days. After all, I wasn't gay and neither was he, but we both definitely enjoyed that kiss. In the morning he would feel different, in the morning he would want to stay with me.

When Li got up that morning he acted as if nothing happened… absolutely nothing. Of course I didn't expect him to proclaim his love for me to his uncle or anything, but when I looked in his direction he looked away. There were no looks of longing from him, no knowing smiles. I might as well have been invisible. I needed to get my gang in involved. If they believed Li was good to join our gang they could approach him with me and convince him to join us. If he were in my gang we'd be around each other all the time and it would give time and opportunity for his feelings to develop. Perhaps there would be another kiss or two in the process.

When we were on the platform waiting for the shuttle train I realized it was my last chance. What was left of my gang didn't take to the idea of having him join so I was on my own. My 'he's just finding a place in the world' speech didn't work. I must be slipping, none of my speeches seem to work anymore. But keeping tabs on Li was my main concern. Ba Sing Se was such a huge city, if I lost contact with him I might never find him again.

I found him again on the platform sitting with his fat uncle. When I asked to speak with him he followed me, but didn't seem enthusiastic at all about it. As we spoke I pulled out all my best lines, the ones that inspired the gang to follow me for so long, but he wasn't moved. We no longer had a common goal that would keep him at my side. I reached out and stroked his cheek with my thumb letting him know my intentions, reminding him of the one beautiful kiss we shared, but he backed away.

I tried to be nonchalant about it, but honestly I was devastated. There was no more reason to keep him in my life. He had refused me, end of story. Then I saw his uncle Mooshi drinking piping hot tea. His tea was steaming hot right after he complained it was disgracefully cold. There was only one solution, he heated the tea himself, and that could only mean one thing, he could bend fire. I was upset and angry, but most importantly it was my excuse to follow Li around the city. Once I told my gang I knew they'd want to help me keep tabs on them. I didn't know what it would accomplish, but it meant that I would look upon his face again.

Between his rejection and the mystery around who he really was my interest in Li became an obsession. My gang didn't understand and honestly neither did I. I followed him to work, spied through his window at night supposedly to watch for fire bending. But the truth was I just wanted to look at him, to take him in as much as possible. And possibly learn more about him and his secrets. I knew his uncle could bend fire, but could he? Perhaps that's how he got that scar, because he can't bend fire and was attacked by someone. My enemy, with the beautiful golden eyes, pale skin and dark hair.

One morning I actually got to glimpse him while he was bathing, I knew he was fit because of his fighting skills, but nothing prepared me for the beauty of his body. He was thin, but his body was perfectly developed, well-defined muscles all over and I wanted so badly to be able to touch him. I imagined what his stomach would feel like under my hand with all those ripples. My body was in great shape, but it was nothing like his.

Later that same day my obsession finally caught up with me, when I could no longer contain myself. I ran into the teashop while it was full of patrons, soldiers even, started screaming at them, and challenged him to a fight. Was I losing my mind? I did not want to hurt him, but in a way, I did. He rejected me.

In the end the guards took me away. And their methods cost me my memory. The loss of those memories eventually cost me my life. I had to make a choice to follow my programming and the orders of Long Feing, or follow my true self and protect the Avatar. I protected the Avatar and ended up on the wrong end of a boulder. I lay on the floor feeling my life flow away from me. I convinced the Avatar and his pals to leave me alone with my gang. I didn't really care that my life was fleeting, it didn't matter if I couldn't share the rest of my life with Li. As I lie there surrounded by what was left of my gang I desperately wished he was here. I wanted to see his face one last time.

The universe granted my dying wish.

Evidently he was in the building and looking for a way out. I don't even know why he was there, but I was grateful he was. He and his uncle ran into our room looking for an exit. As he was about to turn I reached out for him. Smellerbee called out to him for me. He would have taken off but his uncle grabbed him and pulled him back into the room. They approached cautiously, and with good reason since the last time I saw them I was fighting them and trying to expose them as fire nation.

When they saw my condition they sped up to a normal pace, probably thinking they were being called over to help. When they came close I told my gang I wanted to talk to Li privately. They began to walk away and Smellerbee whispered something to Li, letting him know that I wished to speak with him. They motioned for his uncle to join across the room and Li knelt down at my side. Fortunately he had his back to the group so it gave us a small measure of privacy.

I saw him look over my condition, he was looking for a gash or something. But with the force of that large flat rock all of my injuries were internal and I could feel that I didn't have much time left.

"Please, I must tell you something."

He leaned in closer, but ability to speak was becoming more difficult. "You know I have feelings for you? Don't you?" he nodded slightly, almost imperceptivity. "I couldn't take it when you didn't want to join up with me and my gang, it meant we'd never have a chance to be together as friends or otherwise. And most of all it meant you didn't want me. You are unlike any other person I've ever met. The way you walk, the way you talk, its almost like your from another world. Please tell me are you really fire nation?"

He looked away.

"Please, I'm dying and can no longer pose a threat to you or your uncle, nor do I want to. But I must know the truth of the person that's haunted my dreams and fantasies."

My honesty seemed to be having an effect on him; he moved his jaw slightly as he considered my request. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Yes, I am fire nation, but that's probably not why I stand out to you. I am Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation."

"A prince!" I whispered. In just two seconds weeks of wondering about him finally came into focus. The pieces now made sense. "You are the banished Prince?"

He stiffened a little then nodded slightly. "I should have figured it out, it's so apparent." I exhaled with satisfaction. I didn't have much time left, so I need to be clear about what I wanted.

"One last request for a dying man?"

He nodded his head.

"A kiss. Please."

He was hesitant, but he already agreed, probably not realizing that my request wouldn't be more

information.

He looked around ensuring the group was not watching and he placed his lips against mine. It was like heaven to me, that same sweet, smoky flavor from the first kiss. He was generous in his kiss, but still it wasn't long enough for my tastes. I was about to ask for another, and the need evidently was apparent on my face. Before I could ask, he responded. "I'm sorry, but this is all I can give you."

"I understand. Live well, beautiful Prince."

As he moved to stand up he was still looking down at me. There was an emotion on his face, but I couldn't discern it. Was it regret? Was it love? Was he finally starting to feel for me on my deathbed? I honestly don't know so for my last moments I embraced the idea that he had fallen in love with me and the emotion on his face was the loss of me. I had no way of knowing that he'd just let the Avatar's Bison go free rather than making him a bargaining chip and was still grappling with his decision.

I heard his footstep and those of his uncle retreating fast. I spent my last moments surrounded by the friendly, loyal faces of my gang and I savored the taste of my prince on my lips with my dying moments. As I transitioned from this life to the next I caught glimpse of him as he was fleeing the building. My last act was to pass through him on my way to wherever I was being pulled. As my spirit touched his I understood his pain, his longings, his anguish and the little place I held in his heart. Sadly, he didn't feel for me as I felt for him, but I would always be remembered fondly by him as his first kiss.