Woah, Feelings

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A/N Got this idea from a loverly Bright Eyes song called First Day of my Life. Lyrics have been slightly altered so that I don't disobey the rules. *grins*. Slashy slashy, friction friction, angsty fluffy goodness. May or may not be a one-shot, haven't decided yet. Reviews are strongly encouraged, however.

I own nothing EE&E!

This is the first day of my life Swear that I was born right in the doorway.

Double D felt a tsunami of feelings. He was liberated from his silence, his lies. Yet he had never felt so cast away, like a juvenile delinquent who constantly broke the law and had to face his disappointed parents for the rest of his life. He felt his small hands form into aggravated fists, he had never felt this kind of anger before. It was rage.

It was sadness.

He wasn't any of those things. He had never broken the law…well except that one time Eddy's brother was down from college and threw an enormous house party, and Eddy mixed in some vodka with his organic tea…and he didn't even know he was intoxicated until all of the kids from the cul-de-sac looked like smears of watercolor.

But that was an accident entirely.

It was also the first time he realized he was gay.

He had come out to his parents just a couple minutes ago, and they sent him to his room, so they could decide what to do with him. Perhaps send him off to boarding school, or for treatment at a mental facility?

He'd be lucky if that's what they decided for him.

Honor role, President of the Future Leaders of Peach Creek, Chess tournament champion, vice president of the book club, founder of Peach Creek Goes Green. The list went on. But what did that matter now?

For his entire life, he had put forth so much effort to be the perfect student and son. His scientist parents hadn't even noticed his first place ribbon for the science fair. Three years in a row.

He wanted to curse, or do something illegal, such as deface public property, or perhaps stand in the section of grass with a sign beholding the message Do Not Stand In Grass down the street.

He sighed. He was like a furious kitten.

The rain came down in sheets outside. It was usually therapeutic to Double, but it just irritated him. Raindrops danced against his window, and out of complete impulse He reached over and pushed it up. He took one last look of his room, and climbed out.

I went out in the rain suddenly everything changedPeople spreading blankets on the grass

He ran. He knew exactly where he was going. He rapped on the window to his friend's basement room. His face appeared, he had to smudge some dust away to be able to see outside from within. It flew open, and Double D was pulled insideYours is the first face that I sawThink I was blind before I met youNow I don't know where I am I don't know where I've beenBut I know where I would like to go

Dripping wet clothes. Ed couldn't tell the tears from rain drops. Still, he took off his worn green jacket and wrapped the shivering Double D.

"I'm repulsive. I don't even think my parents want me," Double D said, his voice wavering. Ed smiled, and patted him on his soaked head.

"There there Double D. S'okay, I don't think my parents like me either. Or Sarah," he paused a moment. "At least you don't have a baby sister."

Double D giggled.And so I thought I'd let you knowThat these things take foreverI am especially slowThough I realize that I need you And I wondered if I could come home

But then his face went serious

"Ed, I need to tell you something," he said softly.

"Fire the cannon away, cap-i-tan!"

He loved Ed's effortless, comforting humor. Why couldn't he be this easy going? Why did he have to get so dramatic over every little thing, why couldn't he just learn how to deal with his life the way Ed did so gracefully? He shuddered from the cold.

"Awe, little buddy," Ed said, and he pulled Double D in for a bear hug. Ed's carefree friendliness always confused Double D. He was always so openly affectionate with all of his friends, he could never tell if it was…just friendly, or intimate.

"You smell real yummy," Ed noted, and Double D pulled back. Ed had gotten so rugged over the years, but not at all in an unattractive way. He was tall…mega tall, leveling at about 6"3. A tower compared to Double D's relatively small 5"8. His auburn hair, short and scruffy, stuck out naturally in every direction. He had some signs of facial stubble, but mostly a relatively young face, with a large mouth, which always displayed his big goofy grin.

Ed was looking at Double D, with his big green eyes. They bore into his soul. He was suddenly at a loss of words.

"Uh…I…Uhm…Thanks…? I probably smell like mildew," Double D reddened, realizing how unkempt he must have appeared

Ed grinned, and his next move surprised Double D. He bent down and crushed his mouth against Double D's His eyes clamped shut, every nerve in his body charged with electric current. He was paralyzed.

Remember the time you drove all nightSo you could meet me in the morningAnd I thought it was strange you said everything changedYou felt as if you'd just woke up

When he pulled back--it had seemed like an eternity to Double D--Ed grinned down at him.

"I like it. It reminds me of winter mornings, where you don' hafta wake up with the sun n' stuff. S'nice."

And you said "this is the first day of my lifeI'm glad I didn't die before I found you But now I don't care I could go anywhere with youAnd I'd probably be happy"

Double D was half-lidded, swooning.

"Double D, I know it's a great head picture to think about, but you were gonna say something?"

Swoooon.

"Helllooooo, anybody home?" Ed gently knocked on the side of Double D's head curiously. The gesture brought him back into reality.

"I…er, Ed…" He tried to think of a clever analogy to explain himself to Ed. Ed became so focused on what Double D was going to say, he drooled slightly out of the corner of his mouth. Double D held back a giggle.

"You know the way Kevin gets when Nazz comes within a fourty mile radius of him?"

Ed squinted and calculated to himself. For about five minutes.

"Nope," he said blankly.

"I mean--his face gets flushed, and he has a silly smile on his lips."

"Ooh, like what you have now?"

Double D looked down shyly. "Y-yes, I suppose…"

"Oh. Okay. Then yup."

"Well, those feelings Kevin has for Nazz, what if he had them for…say…Jonny?"

Ed's face brightened. "What about plank? Could he come too?"

"Sure."

Ed nodded, like he understood.

"I think I know what you mean, Double D. I can relate. 'Cause Nazz does smell like flowers, and I like flowers a lot, but I don't like Nazz like I like flowers."

"Well, although Nazz is a very desirable female, everyone has their preference. You've never been one to follow the crowd, Ed, Double D said with a small smile.

Ed though for a moment

"Double D, what do feelings taste like?" He said finally.

Double D blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Well 'cause I think I like the way your feelings taste. I think it's why I don't like Nazz like flowers. I like you like flowers."

Double D stood dead still, his mouth open slightly.

So if you want to be with meWith these things there's no tellingWe just have to wait and seeBut I'd rather be working for a paycheckThan wait to win the lottery

"If…you just said what I think you said…then, Ed, I like you too."

"Like flowers?"

"Yes. Like flowers."

"I was scared to tell you Double D. But you make my insides feel squishy. I thought I was dying once," he said, eyes wide.

"That's normal," Double D laughed. "I mean, as long as it isn't painful. If it is, we might have to get it checkd out by a proffessional."

"Yeah. It hurts. A good hurt, though. It goes away when you're with me. And when I put my mouth on your mouth, my insides were both squishy and electrocuted."

"That's quite a plethora of emotions, Ed," Double D said, astonished. He was amazed by his friend. Granted, he was never one to be the most intelligible of his group of friends, but the way he conveyed his feelings without holding back, Double D wanted to just float away on his words. How he wanted to be so open with his heart, his emotions. Biting his lower lips, he pressed his palms around Ed's face. Reaching up on his tip-toes, he kissed Ed. Urgent. Softly.

Scared? Yes.

Terrified? Absolutely.

But when he felt Ed's strong arm gently curl around his torso, every doubt, everything ever holding him back from this moment right now

Vanished.

Besides maybe this time is differentI mean I really think you like me.

A/N- Awe. I had to do something serious and fluffy. Let me know what you think, k?!