Author's Note: I do not own any Ace Attorney characters.
Ace Attorney: Comfort FoodEma Skye was not happy.
This wasn't a particularly new occurrence for Ms. Skye. There were many things that weighed down her life. Things like, missing out on her dream job and having to settle for the second best job. Or filling out paperwork for said second best job. Usually it had to do with the damn fop/prosecutor/former rock star that came with the job.
This time was no different.
Logically speaking, Ema realized on some rational level that she couldn't directly blame him for her current predicament but that didn't stop her from blaming him. Even if she couldn't blame him directly for this she could still do it for him making things go as far as they had.
"Ow." She winced as she realized she had started gnawing on her ball pen. She scowled at the tooth marks. She hadn't done this since she was in high school.
Ever since she had become a detective she had had to put up with that prosecutor. Most women thought he was God's gift to humanity and he was more than happy to accept and believe it. She, however, knew exactly was he was: an irritating pest with an ego the size of the city. Unfortunately, he was one pest she wasn't allowed to deck. Instead she had to find a way to cope with him. Some people, when faced with extremely unfair stressful circumstances, turned to damaging hobbies like smoking or chewing gum or drinking.
She had turned to Snackoos.
She had gotten them as a gift when she went to visit Lana and Jake after her first week working with the fop. Lana had been sympathetic enough to fry up a batch of home-made ones for them to snack on while Ema poured her complaints onto her sister. Lana gave her a second batch before she left and told her that she needed something else to focus on. The next day she had found the way to the crime scene blocked when a horde of Gavinners fangirls as camped outside to catch a glimpse of their beloved rock god. By the time she had finally managed to to fight through the mob she had been late to her appointment with the fop.
He gave her an arched eye at her late appearance, saying, "Ah, Fraulein, it is a pleasure you have finally arrived. I feared I would have to carry out the investigation instead."
She had glared at him and snapped back how it was his worshippers' fault she was late.
"Ah, but they are just innocent youths. You can't hold them accountable for being a little bit childish, ja?"
"No 'ja'!" She seethed. "You could have sent them away before I got here! Not only that but you-"
"Fraulein Detective?" He interrupted, looking pleasant enough. "There is no need to dwell on the past. You are here, that is all that matters and we can carry out our investigation."
"But-"
"Oh, and one more thing." He gave her a quick inspection. "Please take care of your appearance."
It took a moment for her to realize what he had meant. In the struggle her glasses, hair, and lab coat had been left askew.
"I will be inside," he said. He paused thoughtfully and added, "In the time in which you were late you could have taken care of this. It would have saved time..."
"Just go!" She growled. If he stayed any longer she was going to-
She blinked in surprise as she heard a light slap of something plastic hit against her. She patted her pocket again and pulled out the bag of snackoos Lana had handed her the night before. Remembering what Lana had said, she ripped the bag open and at a few before following after the prosecutor. To her surprise, it worked. The simple act kept most of her current borderline homicidal urges towards a certain blond down. By the time she met up the prosecutor again she felt prepared for the first time.
It had worked for this long. They were soft, they tasted great, they were easy to carry around, and they made good projectiles against pesky attorneys that got on her nerves. Outside minor things like potential cavities it didn't ruin her health. She had decided that no matter what crap that man tossed at her to deal with it as long as she had a bag of her favorite comfort food she could at least retain enough sanity not to strangle him. While it worked she hadn't accounted for one thing.
Ema lightly whacked her head against the desk.
How was she supposed to know how many calories were in them?!
She had always had a fast metabolism so she never really worried about weight issues before. It wasn't until the yearly medical check up that she realized how much weight she had gained. After the doctor had gotten her to calm down enough she had asked her if she had been exposed to extra levels of stress lately.
It hadn't taken long for Ema to think of a reason. It was that glimmerous fop!
Ever since he had disbanded the Gavinners and the truth about his infamous trial with Pheonix Wright, he had been doing twice as much work to compensate. That also meant he could find twice as much errands to toss at Ema and twice as much more time she had to spend around him. And to compensate for that…
She self-consciously poked at her stomach.
No more Snackoos until she got back to around her usual weight.
It wasn't easy at first but there were times she could completely forget about them. She didn't get her job (even if it wasn't the position she wanted) because she was dependant on them! But every single time she managed to get over it he'd always bring back her craving for a bag.
He had looked surprised when he saw her show up on site without a bag. When he had asked her she tried brushing it off but of course, he didn't buy it. Like the annoyingly good prosecutor he was he managed to worm the truth out of her.
Ema habitually reached for the missing bag at the memory.
Most men, or at least the few sensitive ones, would say things like 'You look fine' or 'I never saw you as the type to need to lose weight' or at least have some tact. Prosecutor Attorney Klavier Gavin?
That fop had laughed, smiled amusedly at her, and said, "Ah, I see. It's nice to see a woman try to change her vice."
She had tried snackooing him with paperclips for that but it wasn't the same.
"'It's nice to see a woman try to change her vice'," she vehemently muttered under her breath. Like he was one to talk. But with him he probably saw himself as a perfect being among flawed mortals. He probably saw that as an excuse to laugh and talk down to the rest of them.
Ema nearly jumped as she heard a knocking at the door. She quickly straightened herself and said, "Come in."
A man dressed in a blue delivery outfit poked his head through the door. "This the office of the…uh…'Fraulein Detective'?"
It took all of her mental strength not to lash out at the messenger. She forced enough civility in her voice to say, "Yes."
"Oh, okay," he shrugged. "We didn't have much to go on outside that name and the building so we had to ask around staff about who fit that."
Somehow, it wouldn't surprise Ema if that was what the fop had planned.
"What is it?" She asked.
"Dunno, it's against regulations to check."
Ema sighed. It was probably something he wanted looked over for his next case. "Thanks, just leave it on the desk."
"Kay', miss."
Ema waited until he had left before she inspected the bag. Tied to the outside with a small red ribbon was a pink card. Ema raised an eyebrow at it. It didn't look like the usual papers the fop sent. Carefully, she pulled it away from the bag and glanced over the predictably perfect handwriting.
'Fraulein Detective,
A gift to congratulate your attempt to better yourself.
-Klavier'
Ema stared at the bag suspiciously, as though expecting it to explode. Something about the message and knowing exactly whom it had come from set her on edge. He had even signed it by his name. He never did that. It was always 'Prosecutor Gavin'. The more she thought about it, the more the strange act gnawed away at her.
Might as well get it over with, she thought with a sigh.
Whatever it was, it was light. And lumpy. As she unwrapped the bag she let out a gasp of surprise. Inside was a second bag marked 'Low fat Snackoos! Same great taste, fewer calories!'
Ema snorted. Should she take this as another knock?
Still…
She turned the bag over. Chocolate flavor. Half the calories of her usual Snackoos too.
Carefully, she opened the bag. She had the misfortune of sampling products designed to lose weight before and learned the hard way that it probably meant eating it would cause you to lose any desire to eat again. But when she lightly nibbled on the first one she ended up quickly devouring it. The taste was a little different but it wasn't bad at all. It had the same texture, the same sweetness and it was chocolate flavored.
Taking a second and third piece, she allowed herself to smile a little. Maybe the fop wasn't quite the pest she thought he was. At least while his choice in hair styling sucked he seemed to know food well.
But then she noticed the small, neat scrawl on the other side of the card.
P.S: I will be taking the costs for your gift and its delivery out of your next paycheck. Mahlzeit!
And with that, all her newly found respect for Klavier Gavin turned to dust.
"That…That cheap, money-sucking, glimmerous fop!" She snarled. "Who charges the receiver for their own gift!?"
She ripped the card to shreds. She could almost see his patronizing look and that smug smile. She could almost hear him chidingly calling her by that stupid nickname as he gave a smooth explanation. And then he'd calmly shoo her away to do another job for him and she'd have no choice but to choke it down.
Before she realized it she was already munching the Snackoos with a vengeance.