Title:Thou Shalt Not Steal

Author: chiarahhue

Written for: yappichick for the Sparky_Santa exchange

Pairing: John/Elizabeth with a bit of Carson/Caldwell friendship thrown in
Rating: PG-13 for some bad language

Genre: Humor and a bit of UST

Spoilers: AU enough that I don't think it applies but definitely ignores Sunday

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis or any of the characters. If I did, I would've taken better care of them.

Beta reader: wanderingsmith who always makes it better

Summary: A simple off-world trade negotiation goes bad when a neighboring clan think they can steal the treaty by kidnapping Elizabeth.

--- 1 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Despite nanites, replicators, Genii terrorists and blood-sucking space vampires, most days, John Sheppard loved his job.

Today was not one of those days.

"You really need to stop grinding your teeth like that, lad," a softly accented voice at his side admonished. "This is a party to welcome us."

John turned and scowled at Carson and Teyla, standing next to him.

"I don't like the way he looms over her."

"Eh? Looms?"

"Yeah. You know… leaning into her like that." John jerked his head toward the front of the room where Elizabeth stood next to the Chancellor of Moarria in the reception line. The Moarrians were a tall feline-like race and judging by the Chancellor's silver muzzle and the wide streaks of gray in his coat and tail, he was well advanced in years. But much to John's annoyance, despite his age and the difference in species, the Chancellor was clearly smitten with Elizabeth, and he continually leaned in to make a comment in her ear or touch her shoulder as he introduced her to one of the guests.

"Ah, looming," The doctor nodded sagely though he surreptitiously winked at Teyla. "Isn't that a wee bit like you hovering in her personal space or parking your arse on the corner of her desk?"

John waved off the comment. "That's different. It's my job."

Carson raised an eyebrow at Lorne who was also standing with them. "Is that so, Major? Is looming one of your American tactical maneuvers?"

The corners of Lorne's mouth quirked up. "No, sir. I believe that skill is reserved for the Colonel in relation to Dr. Weir."

John shot the younger man a glare as the others laughed. "I'd watch myself if I were you, Major. I still haven't decided which off-world team to assign Kavanagh to."

Although the reprimand brought a quick "Yessir!" from the major, John was intrigued by the amused look that passed between Lorne and Teyla.

"Is there something I should know?"

Lorne grinned and slanted a look at Teyla who cleared her throat. "I have been teaching Evan Athosian words and customs."

"Including, which words to avoid in polite Athosian conversation," Lorne added.

"Really?" Carson perked up. "Such as?"

"Well, my favorite is Kavanagh."

"Kavanaw," Teyla corrected with a glare at Lorne. "And I thought you promised me it would go no further than our conversation?

John smirked, not missing Teyla's discomfort. "So what's it mean?"

Teyla shot him an embarrassed look. "It is a crude reference to a body part – nothing that we need discuss."

"Aw, c'mon," John teased. "I won't tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what?" A familiar voice asked behind him.

"Elizabeth!" John whirled around guiltily. "We were just discussing Athosian words."

"Uh-huh." She arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, the dinner is about to begin," she nodded at the small group "And you are all invited to sit at Chancellor Rawn's table."

"Are you sure you two don't want to be alone?" John joked. He held up his hands defensively as she flashed him a warning look. "I'm just sayin'…old Ron seems to have a thing for you."

"That's Rawn," she corrected tersely, "And need I remind you that this is a diplomatic reception, not a cocktail party." She and John locked eyes for a moment until he dropped his gaze with an apologetic shuffle of his feet.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I just don't feel like I can do my job to protect you when I can't be close."

Elizabeth nodded and stepped closer to him, letting the back of her hand brush his. "I understand," she said softly. They exchanged another look and then she stepped back and addressed the group who were pretending not to watch their bosses. "I think you'll find the food quite interesting – I hope you enjoy it."

As the group moved off toward the dining hall, Carson wasn't surprised to observe John quickly maneuver himself into position next to Elizabeth. Walking behind them, he watched the two talking easily together and wondered if they were even aware they had fallen into step with each other.

His two friends were so well suited, he thought, it was a shame they were both too thick headed to see it. With a sigh he turned his attention to the prospect of dinner and wondered wistfully if the Moarrians had anything close to beer.

--- 2 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Would you like some, sirr?"

John nodded in mute fascination, his interest torn between the savory smell of the soup and the server's prehensile tail, holding the ladle. He ran his eyes admiringly over the beautiful fur that covered her striped tail and slim body.

"May I ask your name?"

The young server tossed her thick mane and purred shyly, her smooth cat-like face showing her enjoyment at the unexpected attention.

"I am called Delia, sirr."

Deftly filling his bowl, she dropped the ladle back into the pot she held and, using the tip of her tail, reached into her apron pocket, fished out a spoon and politely handed it to him.

"Thank you, Delia," he said, flashing her a broad grin.

Making a deep purring sound, she swiveled her large ears and blinked her deep yellow eyes at him before moving on to offer soup to the next guest.

"Exercising the Sheppard charm on alien women again?"

John turned an exaggeratedly innocent face toward Elizabeth, seated next to him. "Just bein' friendly," he drawled. "It's a diplomatic dinner, right?"

Elizabeth stirred the thick broth and poked at the odd looking vegetables in her bowl. "Did you know that among some cultures, showing one's teeth is an act of aggression? And among others, an overture for mating?"

John darted a quick look over at the server and then scooted his chair imperceptibly closer to Elizabeth. "And among the Moarrians?" he asked worriedly, his voice low.

She gave him an amused smile. "Luckily for you, the Moarrians consider it a friendly gesture – unless you show your canines." She barred her teeth and growled playfully at him.

"Good to know," John chuckled. "Anything else?"

"I should point out the fact that server's tail is still striped, which means she's the equivalent of a young teenager."

"Hey," John straightened indignantly. "I just asked her name! Why do you assume I was trying to hit on her?"

In reply, Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips.

"You know, that Kirk crap is more a figment of McKay's wishful thinking."

"Don't forget, I've seen the mission reports."

"Those weren't my fault!" John scowled. "I swear I never see it coming."

"That may well be, but you've got good reflexes, colonel – I suggest you try sidestepping when it comes at you."

At the end of the table Lorne craned his neck to get a better view. "I think Mom and Dad are arguing again."

Carson followed his gaze and shook his head. "Aye, so they are."

"You'd think Sheppard would realize by now that he'll never win an argument with an intergalactic diplomat."

"I believe it is more the fact that she is a woman," Teyla interjected.

The two men turned as one to look questioningly at her.

Seeing that she had their undivided attention, she set down her soup spoon and continued. "Regardless of the galaxy they come from, I have observed this one truth about women - when it comes to arguments, the woman decides when it is over. Anything more a man wishes to say, will be considered the start of a new argument."

Carson and Lorne looked at each other and blinked.

"Makes sense, in an arse over elbow way."

"So, are you going to clue Sheppard in, Doc?"

Carson looked over at John and Elizabeth, now bickering their way through the main course as Chancellor Rawn tried unsuccessfully to capture Elizabeth's attention.

"Nae. I don't think I could get a word in edgewise," he chuckled. "Besides," he flashed Teyla a dimpled grin, "It would most likely just start another argument."

--- 3 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

John shifted in his chair, crossing and uncrossing his legs as he tried to resist the urge to look at his watch again.

"Would you like something to drink, lad? I could call a server," Carson offered.

John shook his head, glancing over Carson's shoulder at the doors to the Chancellor's private study.

"We've only been sitting in this waiting room for an hour," Carson reminded him gently. "Perhaps you might want to go outside for a wee break? Teyla and Lorne went out to do a bit of practicing with those bantos sticks."

"I'm fine," he brushed off the doctor's concern. "I know these trade negotiations take time. I just hate being out here doing nothing."

"As opposed to being in there and doing naught?"

"At least in there I could keep an eye on her." John shrugged sheepishly.

"Aye, and drive her daft with your fidgeting. Why do you think she always makes you sit outside?"

"What?" He sat up indignantly. "When did she say…"

Suddenly the sound of feet padding hurriedly down the hall cut him off and both men turned as a gray furred face peered hesitantly around the doorway.

"John Shepparrd?" she growled, looking questioningly at John.

"Yes." He lept to his feet and in a few long strides was in front of her, coaxing her into the room.

"I am Marrissa," she hissed, ducking her head respectfully, "Elder cousin to Delia who is Server to the Chancellor's Table."

"Yes, I remember her," he nodded.

"I was informed of her behavior tonight." Marrissa's tail twitched in annoyance. "I have reprimanded her for her forwardness toward you. She is young and did not know who you were, much less who you were with. I hope she has not given offense."

"None given, none taken," John assured her as he slanted a puzzled glance at Carson. He wasn't certain where this conversation was going but there was no mistaking the way the female's ears twitched nervously and her eyes darted around the room. "Was there something else you wished to speak to me about, Marrissa?"

"You know of the Kloss?" she asked abruptly.

John shook his head but Carson stepped up. "Aye, the Head Healer I met with today told me of them. He said they're a nearby clan that lives next to the river that borders the Moarrian Province – a right dodgy bunch if I caught his drift."

She nodded. "Their leader, Makiss, is littermate to Chancellor Rawn. They steal from our storage caves," she said, her ears flattening in anger. "They are dishonorable."

Turning her attention back to John, she continued. "It is being said that the Kloss want the treaty your people are negotiating with us. There is a rumor that they plan to take your mate to force you to bargain with them." Seeing the blank look on John's face she prodded him urgently in the chest with her paw. "Your mate, John Shepparrd… the tall female with the dark mane… the one you protect!"

Swearing, John spun on his heel and sprinted toward the Chancellor's study, Carson close behind. Bursting through the doors, he stopped in his tracks, panic rising as his eyes scanned the empty room.

Carson tapped his headset. "Major! Teyla! Get in here, now!" He watched John frantically search the room, blindly pushing aside furniture in frustration as he cursed under his breath.

"John!" Carson tried to catch his arm as he passed, only to be shoved aside roughly. "Colonel Sheppard!" he snapped sharply.

John paused, his chest heaving, as Carson's voice finally broke through the haze of fury. Blinking, he focused his eyes on the doctor standing in front of him – nervous but resolute. And behind him, Teyla and Lorne with their weapons drawn, backed by a flank of the Chancellors Guards.

"Colonel?" Teyla moved cautiously toward him. She hadn't seen John this volatile since the Genii had invaded Atlantis during that storm. "What happened?"

"Someone just made the worst mistake of their life," he said quietly, his voice flat and dangerous.

--- 4 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

"May I enter?"

Elizabeth turned her head gingerly to see a short, scruffy-looking male standing politely in the doorway, his ears swiveled toward her. At her weak nod, he padded softly over to the low bed and lowered himself onto his haunches to get a better look at her.

"My name is Harrlan, I am Head Healer of the clan known as the Kloss." As Elizabeth tried to reply, he laid the back of his paw gently on her pale cheek. "Yes, I know who you are, Elizabeth Weirr. You and your people have been the topic of conversation all day," he said with a tight smile.

His ears twitched in concern as she groaned and tried to raise her head. "Please, do not move." He gently pushed her back onto the bed and then fussed over her, straightening the sleeping-rug that had tangled around her legs.

"I told them not to use so much numleaf in the drinks," he muttered angrily. "She is small, I said. She is not of our species, I said. But do they listen to Harrlan? Bah." He growled and spit. "Military have rocks for brains, yes?"

Despite herself, Elizabeth chuckled, thinking how much he reminded her of Dr. Zelenka. Craning her neck, she tried to look around the room. "The Chancellor… where is he?" she rasped.

Harrlan turned and nodded to the low bed on the other side of the room where a large form lay curled and snoring peacefully. "He is fine. He will wake soon."

"But you, I worry about." He hunched down again and reaching into his hip pouch, retrieved a small jar. "This will take away the Hot Rash in your throat and make you more comfortable."

He dipped a flat wooden spoon into the bright green jelly-like substance and held it to her lips. "Please to open," he coaxed as Elizabeth warily eyed the goo.

As she tentatively parted her lips, Harrlan quickly slipped the spoon in with a happy growl and then patted her cheek as if she were a stubborn child who had finally taken her medicine. He ignored the glare she shot him and instead, watched her face expectantly, nodding in satisfaction as he saw her swallow and heard her sigh of relief.

"It will also neutralize the effects of the numleaf that was put in your drink," Harrlan added as he rose.

Suddenly, his ears twitched and swiveled toward the door. "I am sorry, Elizabeth Weirr – I must leave you now," he said hurriedly, his tail twitching nervously. "I have already overstepped my bounds by coming to tend to you without permission and I do not want to endanger you as well." Ducking his head respectfully, he padded quickly out of the small room.

Closing her eyes, Elizabeth wondered how John was doing. She didn't know if their kidnapping was part of an all-out attack on the Moarrians or an end in itself, but she knew for certain that right now, John was as pissed off as he was worried and she wished there was a way to let him know she was fine.

--- 5 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leaving Teyla and Lorne behind with instructions to begin the search, John ran to Jumper One. It had taken the combined efforts of Teyla and Carson to calm him down, but as he threw himself into the pilot seat and powered up, the cold knot of fear in his gut was still there.

"Why does she have to be so damn stubborn?" he muttered savagely, slamming his fist down on the console. "I can't protect her if I'm not with her! How fucking hard is that to understand?!"

Taking a deep breath, he ran a shaky hand through his hair and stared out of the 'jumper's window. It wouldn't do for him to call Atlantis unless he was calm and in control. He took another breath and let it out slowly. He had to report in, and the sooner the better.

"Sac up, Sheppard! Elizabeth's been taken right out from under your nose… how much worse can it get?"

Hitting the commlink, he dialed Atlantis.

"This is Sheppard. We have a critical situation here. Get Ronon and every combat-ready soldier to the Gateroom ASAP."

"Colonel Sheppard! What…oh…yessir…of course, sir…"

There was a pause and then the last voice John wanted to hear filled the 'jumper.

"Sheppard. Caldwell here. What the hell is going on down there?"

--- 6 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been less than an hour since Harrlan had left, but Elizabeth was already feeling stronger. Pushing herself up, she managed to get to her feet and, with a great deal of concentration, made it over to the Chancellor's bed. He was curled so tightly into a large ball that she was hard-pressed to figure out which end was his head.

"Sir." She reached out and tentatively poked what she hoped were his shoulders. "Chancellor Rawn!" she said loudly, poking harder.

There was a growling noise and suddenly he uncurled and stretched, his tail whipping out and nearly knocking Elizabeth over.

"Eh? Sorry, my dear," he rumbled as he rolled out of the low bed and landed lightly on his feet. Looking around the small room, his muzzle wrinkled in displeasure as he sniffed. "Makiss," he hissed.

Before Elizabeth could ask, the door flew open and a male similar in coloring to Rawn walked into the room.

"Well, well. Rawn… how kind of you to come and visit," he purred sarcastically. He circled around Elizabeth, eyeing her with interest. "And what an unusual female you have with you." He reached out to touch her hair but before she could protest, Rawn's paw shot out and slapped his away.

There was an indignant yowl and then the two males were suddenly chest to chest, snarling into each other's face.

"She is not yours! Why do you protect her?" Makiss demanded.

"Because I have honor," Rawn growled, his tail snapping back and forth. "Her mate is not here to protect her so I take his place."

The two locked gazes fiercely, their ears flat as they growled deeply.

Elizabeth held her breath as she watched, unsure what would happen if Rawn were challenged to fight for her. But the older male held firm and she saw the moment Makiss weakened and looked away.

"My guards will know to come here," Rawn said simply. "You are foolish to think otherwise."

"Actually, I am counting on it," the younger male smirked, flashing his canines rudely. Turning to Elizabeth he added, "And I hope they bring your people."

"We don't bargain with terrorists," she snapped.

Makiss shrugged. "I do not understand your ways, but I am told that even though you are a female you hold great power." He tilted his head and stared at her, his ears twitching. "Is it true you rule the City of the Ancestors? And all males bow to your authority?"

"In theory, yes," Elizabeth said dryly.

"Then they will give us what we want in exchange for you," he said smugly, shooting Rawn a triumphant look as he left.

There was a moment of silence and then Rawn's ears swiveled toward Elizabeth curiously. "Is it true your people will not bargain to get you back?"

Elizabeth sat down heavily on the bed. "I've told them not to if I ever get captured. But it wouldn't be the first time they ignored my directive," she said, sighing in exasperation.

"And by the way, Chancellor," she said as a thought suddenly struck her, "John Sheppard is not my mate! He is my military commander, which is why he protects me."

Rawn looked at her skeptically. "He argues with you."

"That's part of his job."

"He stands very close to you."

"That's part of his job as well."

"His eyes are always on you."

"Again, that's part of his job."

"And would you allow another male those liberties?"

He watched as Elizabeth paused and then refused to meet his eyes.

"I thought as much," he rumbled, his tail quivering in suppressed amusement.

--- 7 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time the Daedalus arrived, the team had figured out how Elizabeth and the Chancellor were drugged and smuggled out by way of a hidden tunnel.

"They certainly didn't take any pains to cover their tracks," Lorne commented. "It's almost like they didn't care if we knew".

"What about the server who brought the drinks into the Chancellor's study?" John asked. "Did you get any more information from him?"

"Yes sir, with Colonel Caldwell's help. We weren't getting anywhere with him so the colonel had him beamed up to the Daedalus for questioning."

Carson frowned. "And just exactly what did that questioning involve, colonel?" he asked tersely.

Caldwell leaned back in his chair and smirked. "Relax, Doctor Beckett. We beamed him on board, he got a good look out the port windows at space, turned around and saw Hermiod and then hit the deck in a dead faint. Once he came to, he wouldn't stop talking."

"Did you learn anything new, sir?" John asked with barely concealed impatience.

"He said Makiss was definitely the one who planned it and he's pretty sure Elizabeth and the Chancellor are being held at his den. I think we should send a team to reconnoiter and …"

"I've already got that covered, colonel."

Caldwell blinked in disbelief. He was not accustomed to being interrupted, least of all by a subordinate. But before he could give Sheppard the dressing down that was on the tip of his tongue, Carson caught his eye.

The two had only recently become friends, but one thing Caldwell had come to trust was the doctor's judgment and the imperceptible shake of his head was clearly asking him to stand down. And when Caldwell followed Carson's gaze, he suddenly caught Sheppard in an unguarded moment as he gazed out the window toward the river and the raw emotion on the younger man's face nearly took his breath away.

He'd observed the closeness Elizabeth had developed with her second in command over the years, but it wasn't until this moment that he'd realized the importance of that connection for Sheppard. Or how painful it was for him not only to have lost her but to feel responsible for it.

The hurried arrival of a young server shook him out of his thoughts and Caldwell leaned forward to watch as she bounded in, her tail whipping back and forth excitedly.

"John Shepparrd! John Shepparrd! I found her!"

John forced a smile as he reached out to pat her shoulder. "Thank you Delia. I knew I could count on you."

"I did exactly as you and cousin Marrissa told me," she continued, her ears standing up proudly. "I snuck into the Kloss kitchen and blended with the servers." She wrinkled her muzzle in disdain. "They are so dull-witted! They did not even notice me!"

John nodded in encouragement, trying to keep his impatience from showing. "And you were able to take the trays up to them?"

"Yes, yes! It was easy! They are on the second floor in the corner room that overlooks the river."

"And was she all right?" he asked, his eyes searching her face intently.

"Yes, she and the Chancellor are fine." Leaning in, Delia purred reassuringly. "And she said to stop worrying, it is not your fault."

John grunted and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Did she say anything else?"

"Under no conditions are you to bargain for my release," she recited carefully.

John rolled his eyes.

"Aha!" Delia pointed at his face. "She said if you did the roll-y thing with your eyes I was to say: goddamitjohn I mean it!" Her brow furrowed in puzzlement and she looked around as everyone tried not to grin. "What does that mean – goddamitjohn?"

"Er, it's a technical term, lass," Carson interjected, coaxing her toward the door as he choked back laughter. "But not one you need be repeating, eh?" he added as he ushered her out of the room.

When Carson returned, he let out a small sigh of relief to see that the young female's remark had seemed to take the edge off the fear and fury that had been building in John. "So, now that we know where they are, how do we go about getting them back?"

"Without disobeying a direct order from Dr. Weir," Caldwell added, looking at John challengingly.

"No problem." John crossed his arms over his chest. "I never intended to bargain with those bastards anyway."

"You have a plan, Colonel Sheppard?" Teyla asked.

John raised an eyebrow as he surveyed the room. "Scare the shit out of them, kick their furry asses, and steal Elizabeth and the Chancellor back."

Ronon grinned widely. "Sounds like my kind of plan, Sheppard."

Carson sighed and exchanged a meaningful look with Teyla. "As if she's not already annoyed enough with him…"

--- 8 -----------------------------------------------------------------------

The mess hall was quiet with only a few tables still occupied. Sitting in the corner by one of the large windows, Carson sighed contentedly.

"It was touch and go there, but thank God it ended well, eh Steven? I hear the Morrians were so grateful for the Chancellor's safe return, that Elizabeth was able to negotiate a very favorable trade for fresh food."

"I'm just glad we happened to be here early, dropping off supplies," he rumbled, helping himself to the doctor's tin of shortbread.

"Aye. I don't think we could've ended it so quickly and with so few casualties without your help."

"Never hurts to show a little muscle, I always say."

"That's a bit of an understatement, colonel." Carson chuckled as he leaned back, cradling his mug of tea in both hands. "That was so bloody amazing when the Daedalus vaporized their arrows in mid-air!"

Caldwell chuckled. "That was Hermiod's idea."

"You don't say!"

"It was pretty damn impressive, wasn't it? One minute the Kloss launch a hail of arrows at us and the next…"

Carson snapped his fingers. "Gone before their very eyes!"

The other man snorted. "And then there were the cannon balls…"

"Oh my Lord!" Carson gasped, nearly choking on his tea. "When that high frequency electromagnetic field magnetized them and they got stuck in the cannons…"

"And took out the entire fort wall they were situated on." Caldwell shook his head. "Major Lorne said the vibrations from the resulting explosion knocked the fruit off all the trees in a 10 mile radius."

Carson snickered. "And sent the Kloss running, their tails sticking out straight behind them all puffed up like a bottlebrush!" Reaching for the teapot, he refilled his and Caldwell's mugs. "I almost feel sorry for Makiss, though."

Caldwell raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Why the hell would you feel sorry for him?"

"Well, here's this fool thinking he has an easy way to nick a lucrative trade treaty away from his elderly brother. All he has to do is kidnap an old guy, a helpless female, hold them hostage and get the goods for himself. What could go wrong?" He grinned. "Poor sod didn't know that when he kidnapped Elizabeth he made it personal."

"Got that right." Caldwell smirked. "By the time we tracked him to the room where Elizabeth and the Chancellor were held, Sheppard was so furious he started pounding on the door and yelling for Makiss to come out so he could see his face before he kicked his ass."

"Oh, I'm sure Elizabeth loved that."

Caldwell rubbed a hand across his face. "Oh it got worse. Makiss threw the door open, growled and spit at Sheppard and suddenly they're on the floor slugging it out! They're rolling around, knocking over furniture, cursing, hissing, I can't get a clear shot, Ronon is just watching with a big shit-eating grin on his face and Elizabeth is standing there with her hands on her hips yelling…"

"Goddamitjohn!" Carson added mimicking a high-pitched angry voice.

Caldwell grinned. "Yeah, something like that." He took a sip of tea and then added, "You know, I've heard the phrase, 'the fur was flying' in relation to a fight, but I never thought I'd live to see the truth of it."

"Aye, that's cats for you – always shedding like a bloody snowstorm. It's why I have turtles." He leaned forward. "So is it true that Makiss jumped out of the window?"

"Yep. Twisted himself right out of Sheppard's grip and then leapt out the window." Caldwell shrugged. "We didn't have time to follow him because we needed to get out of there. And wouldn't you know, there we are, running down the halls trying to dodge guards, arrows and falling walls and behind me, the two of them are still arguing, for chrissakes!"

"Oh, I believe it, Steven. They wouldn't be John and Elizabeth if they didn't… I think it puts a little zip in their blood, if you catch my drift."

"Unlike their current situations…"

The two men sipped their tea and observed the two couples sitting at opposite sides of the mess hall.

"Who's Sheppard with, over there, Carson?"

"Eh? I'm not sure." He craned his neck to get a better look. "Ah. It's the new chippy from the Botany Department… Brandy… Candy… some foolish food name… she's got a fine form but annoying laugh." He watched John wince as she let out a high pitched giggle.

"And Elizabeth?"

Carson pursed his lips. "It's that visiting geneticist from Germany… handsome in an overly groomed way but rather full of himself, if you ask me."

"Yeah. She definitely looks bored out of her skull." Caldwell commented as Elizabeth idly screwed and unscrewed the top of her water bottle, a polite smile plastered on her face. "Twenty bucks says she's gonna find some excuse to bolt for her office within the next five minutes."

"Sorry my friend," Carson shook his head. "We'd both be laying odds on a sure thing."

Nibbling on a chunk of his mother's shortbread, he looked wistfully at his friends. "Are the regs really that strict, Steven? She's not military, so technically it can't be considered fraternization if she and John… " he shrugged and looked hopefully at the other man.

"Frankly, after all this time, I'm not sure how much the IOA would really object." Caldwell sighed. "I think whatever is holding them back has to do with them."

"Och. So you don't believe in happily ever after, eh?"

"Been there, done that and have the divorce papers to prove it."

"But do you regret it, Steven?"

There was a pause as he looked down at his hands. "No," he said quietly, a gentle smile lighting his face as he shook his head. "I have a wonderful daughter. And what about you?" he asked, slanting a curious glance at his friend. "Why is an old-fashioned romantic like yourself still single?"

Carson flashed a grin. "I'm still trying to unravel the mystery of women."

"Well, let me know when you do," Caldwell grumbled as he reached for another piece of shortbread. "I could use some intel."

"Ha! Well, there is something interesting that Teyla said at dinner the other night…"

Looking over Candi's shoulder, John wondered again at the unlikely friendship that had seemed to develop between the kind doctor and the grumpy military man. He smiled to himself as he watched the two share a laugh over something and then sit back to enjoy their tea.

I guessopposites do attract, he thought with amusement, his eyes sliding unconsciously over toward Elizabeth. He frowned, looking at the pompous jerk with the slicked-back hair monopolizing her time and wondered why she was with him. Then he looked over at the vapid young blonde across from himself and wondered the same thing. There was a time when any pretty face would do, but it seemed that lately he was just going through the motions. And this one, he thought with a resigned sigh, was working his last good nerve.

Oh well, he shrugged mentally. It's not as if I have much of a choice. His eyes wandered back to Elizabeth. Regs aside, what's the chance of someone like her ever considering a stray dog like me more than just a good friend. Pushing away his now cold coffee, John automatically flashed Candi a flirtatious smile, instantly regretting it when it elicited another shrill giggle. Suddenly he caught the flash of a red shirt moving out of the corner of his eye and without thinking he was on his feet, mumbling a hurried excuse about needing to go finish up a mission report.

He never knew there were two amused sets of eyes watching as he dropped off his coffee cup, timing it so that he fell into step with Atlantis' leader as she left her table.

"Hey. You know, I think they're showing that Vin Diesel flick at movie night."

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow at him. "No thank you, I think I've had enough action for a while," she said, pointedly.

"Don't tell me you're going to your office!"

"All right, I won't tell you."

He paused and tapped his radio. "Chuck. Sheppard here. I order you to lock down Dr. Weir's office…"

"Goddamitjohn!"

Sidestepping the half-hearted swat to his arm, he grinned at the beautiful sound of her laughter, as he fell into step with her.

The End