Chapter 1: Still not the same

Ryan hadn't slept well in days. Horatio made him take at least two weeks off of work and even more, not wanting to rush him. He told Ryan to take all the time he needed. But by the end of the two weeks, Ryan was nearly going stir crazy. He needed something to occupy himself, to keep his mind off of…

Ever since he had been released from capture, he would toss and turn all night. Now it was beginning to show in his work. He would drink cup after cup of coffee to try and keep himself alert and even resorted to energy drinks. That is what he was finishing off now as he headed to the crime scene in the hummer.

Calleigh was already there when he arrived. He walked down the alley to meet her. She stood over the body taking pictures.

'Hey' He said 'what do we got?'

'Single stab to the chest is all that I can see. Alexx will be able to tell us more when she gets here'

'What about ID?'

'Jane Doe so far' Calleigh answered 'No sign of a purse or wallet on her, but with how's she dressed, I'd be surprised if she didn't have one'

'So you're thinking robbery gone bad?'

'Looks that way. Could you look around and see if you find the purse or wallet? If this is a robbery, maybe her killer ditched it after he took the money. I'll finish up here'

'You're putting me on trash duty?'

'I did get here first' she smiled

'Alright' He grabbed his kit and headed deeper into the alley. He kept looking side to side, but saw nothing. When he reached the first trash can, he pulled out a pair of gloves. He easily slid on the one on his left hand, but he took his time with the right. He still kept a light bandage to protect it. Ten days of antibiotics had stopped the infection, but it didn't help with the sting that was there when he touched it, nor did the painkillers he was prescribed to help with his ribs. Unfortunately, he knew that with the nasty cut he had, it could last a while.

The first can turned up nothing and either did the one on the opposite side of the alley. Making his way down, he checked every can and only made a discovery at the last one. Inside, he found a bill fold. He took his camera and took a few pictures before he pulled it out.

'Found something' He called to Calleigh 'Pink Bill fold' He opened it 'Our Vic's name is Allison Burns. No credit, or debit card in here. No money either. Looks like you might be right about that robbery.'

Inside one of the folds, Ryan also found a small bloodied knife, most likely the murder weapon. Usually CSIs can imagine out what happened to the victim, but in this case Ryan's thoughts flashed back not to a possible scenario, but to his own personal experience.

-xxx-

Ryan was freezing from the water that Steve had dumped on him. His body was shivering.

'You know what else they do to you in prison, Ryan?' Steve told him 'They mark you. I got my mark and now its time for you to get yours' He said as he pulled out his knife and grabbed Ryan's hand….

-xxx-

He looked down at his hand. He hoped that it wouldn't scar. He was already trying to get rid of the memories of his ordeal and it wouldn't help if he had to look at the cut going across the palm of his hand everyday. He was still lost in his thoughts as he didn't hear Calleigh come up behind him.

'Ryan?'

Ryan jumped, extremely startled.

'Sorry, It's just me' Calleigh apologized

'It's ok; it's just that um… last time someone snuck up behind me like that I was kidnapped, but no big deal. Found what is probably the murder weapon' He changed the subject back the crime scene.

'How are you doing?' Calleigh took the opportunity to ask

'Fine, fine. You know I'm still a little sore here and there, but other than that I'm alright'

'You sure? Cause you really went through a terrible thing Ryan. If it were me, I'm pretty sure I'd still be quite shaky'

'Yeah, well I'm fine' Ryan put the billfold and knife into evidence bags and sealed them. 'Do you mind waiting for Alexx? I'll get this back to the lab and run DNA and prints'

'Ah…sure. I'll see you at the post' Calleigh said

'Alright' Ryan turned and started heading to his hummer.

Calleigh watched him walk away. He tried to hide it and pretend he was okay, but she knew Ryan Wolfe well enough to know when something was bothering him.

Ryan tried to keep his head concentrated on the case he was working or at least a little more concentration on the road. One hand gripped the steering wheel tightly; the other was on the gear shift, his fingers tapping away. It was a nervous tick that he often had when he was younger, it usually happened when he was thinking too hard and couldn't get something off his mind, one of the joys of his slight case of OCD. He had learned to control it and hadn't had an attack in a long time. But now he couldn't help it. His mind was only on one thing. He could see Steve's face, devilishly grinning at him. His hellish week flashed through his mind. The kidnapping, the beatings he took, the dead bodies in the room. Ryan took a detour so that he was off the main road. This road wasn't used a lot, he pulled over to the side and took a deep breath, trying to keep it in, but he couldn't. For the first time since his capture, Ryan Wolfe broke down. He slumped over the steering wheel and the tears began to flow. As best as he tried to hide it, Ryan wasn't over what he had been through.

Hope you guys like it and I hope that it won't be too long before an update. Please Review!!!!