I went for a solar boat competition, but it rained. We lost, anywaes. XD

People say they want more chapters? Okay. But first, RAISE AWARENESS, STOP THE YAOI.

Okay, now on to the STUPIDITY! XDXDXD

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Scene 4, Act 3. cast: Rush Sykes, David Nassau, extras 349, 1324, and 134.

David: I just came back from meeting Hermeien.

Rush: ...AAND?! Out with it, moron!

David: (eye twitches...did he just call me...) ...and your ...sister...is...with him.

Rush:...so...when can I expect the dowry? Hey, Hermeien's a Duke, right? If he's cheapskate my parents ain't gonna just give Irina to him like that you know.

David: ...

Rush:...oh, right. He probably doesn't like her that way. So, uh...

David: (sticks out hand with that flower Irina likes)

Rush: O.O

David: I found this there and ...

Rush runs off, leaving David in the middle of the street standing with his hand outstretched with the flower in his had, looking like a ..you guessed it, MORON. Rush reappears with a guitar.

David: Oh...SHOOT....

extra 349, a random soldier standing on duty: WHAT?! SHOOT! (shoot rifle at nearby store. The bullet hits a jar, causing the stall owner to shout, causing a drunkard to scream, causing city wide mayhem, as acted out by many other extras.)

Rush: ooooooh......

Here we are dear old friend
you and I drunk again

David: ...I haven't touched a drop of whiskey since...last christmas party...


Rush: Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
maybe the whiskey's gone to my head

David:...hmm, I thought he had genuine compassion for his sister's plight...

but if I were gay
i would give you my heart

(Rush starts walking closer to David)

David:...O.O well that's okay..its...really...no, really. DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!

(David squeaks as Rush leans in, but Rush jumps away, singing away)


Rush: ...and if I were gay
you'd be my work of art
and if I were gay
we would swim in romance
but I'm not gay
so get your hand out of my pants

David: Ew? My hands would never even WANT to go near your pants, Rush. EW.

Rush: its not that I don't care -I do
I just don't see myself in you

David: I am not a looking glass...duh!


Rush: another time, another scene
i'd be right behind you -if you know what i mean

David: Believe it or not, Rush, I DON'T know what you mean. ARE YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ME?!


Rush, totally ignoring Dave: cause if I were gay
i would give you my soul
and if i were gay
i would give you my whole being
and if i were gay
we would tear down the walls
but i'm not gay
so wont you stop cupping my.. hand

David: ...stop....singing...it's ...embarrassing. (Turns around and starts walking away)

Rush, walking after Dave: we've never hugged
we've never kissed
i've never been intimate with your fist

David, looking down at his fist: I think I want to disinfect this thing. Torgal! I need to borrow your sword. Just chop it..here, at this nice angle. That should take the whole thing off painlessly.


Rush, handing Dave his sword: but you have opened brand new doors
get over here and drop your drawers

Dave runs back to Athlum, brings his drawers and drops them in front of Rush. He says: You're cleaning that up for me later.

Rush:...so...get my meaning? I'm NOT gay.

David: ...great, same here.

Rush:...really? Oh, what a reLIEF!!! So...can I have that flower?

David: (eye twitches) You REALLY want that flower, Rush?

Rush: YES!!!!

David: you REAAAALLLY want this flower, Rush? (dangles flower in front of Rush)

Rush: (jumping up and down like Spongebob) YEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!

David: (with an evil grin, smacks the flower across Rush's face, slams it on the floor, stomps on it repeatedly in his Doc Martens. He then steps back, spits on the remains like an uncle in a coffee shop, and laughs maniacally over it. Then he runs away)

Rush:...O.O

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I was looking for the If You Were Gay song but I ended up finding this If I were Gay song. It seems to fit just as well. And besides, everyone uses the If You Were Gay song. It's getting cliched.

And I HATE cliches.

REVIEW PLEASE