Disclaimer: Kripke owns the Winchesters, Bobby and Ruby (and he can HAVE her). Our Very Special Guest Star is the property of Toho Studios

Language: A few strong words.

One more Warning and I'll Shut Up: This is a complete and utter crack-fic. If you are a Ruby fan, LEAVE NOW

Foreign Exchange

Sam looked through the papers, many delicate and some tinged sepia with age and covered with beautiful writing, while Bobby shelved the other materials he'd been sent. Dean was looking out Bobby's front window, glaring at Ruby. She wandered around Bobby's front yard, sometimes popping a French fry in her mouth as she waited for the Winchesters to finish their discussion with the elder hunter. She didn't like being in Bobby's home unless she had to, and today she didn't have to.

"This stuff is amazing" Sam exclaimed. "Dean, look at this… some of these texts have to be hundreds of years old… I can't believe Mr. Honda left you all this material in his will, Bobby!"

"Yeah I have to say I'm a little surprised myself, Sam" Bobby replied. "I hadn't heard a thing from Akira for years, and then all this stuff shows up in the mail." A sad look passed through Bobby's eyes. "Akira Honda was a good hunter, and a good man." He gave a small shake, either to shrug off the chill or his own mortality. He looked over at Dean and snorted, "Come away from the window, Dean. She ain't going anywhere."

"I wish she was" Dean muttered darkly. "Straight back to Hell with an anvil around her neck would be nice…" He turned around and picked up one of the papers Sam was drooling over and frowned. "I thought this stuff came from Japan. Why is this paper in English?"

Bobby didn't even turn around as he replied "Akira was always translating Japanese texts into other languages. He saw it as a way to help hunters from all over the world." He turned and walked over to peer over Dean's shoulder at the parchment her was holding. "What's that one?"

"Dunno, but it looks like some kinda poem," Dean said. Clearing his throat he began to recite: "Oh, mighty lizard of fire, rise up and free us of our enemies/Oh, powerful lizard of fire, free us from our foes/Oh, powerful Gojira, rid us of our evil burden…"

The air was suddenly rent by two things in succession: a ferocious roar and a female scream.

Then there was a deafening noise like a thousand bolts of thunder and the air was filled with a blinding light. The three men ran outside, and gaped at the singed, blackened patch of earth were Ruby had been standing.

And then they stared up. And up. And UP.

"Um, Dean?

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"That 'poem' you were reading?"

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"I think that was a summoning spell."

"Well, shit, Sam what gave that away? The fact that Ruby's a crispy critter or the giant lizard in Bobby's front yard?" Dean sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and before Sam or Bobby could stop him, marched down the steps to stand right by the enormous, scaly foot of the enormous beast…

… and began to pet it.

"Nice Gojira. Goooood Gojira" Dean cooed.

The End.

Author's Notes 1: For those of you who don't know, Gojira is the Japanese name of the monster known in America as Godzilla. Yes, this is what happens when a kaiju (monster) fan becomes a "Supernatural" addict. Scary, I know.

Author's Notes 2: The name "Akira Honda" is a tribute to both Akira Ifukube, composer and creator of Gojira's distinctive roar, and Ishiro Honda, director of "Gojira", two men whose work had been a part of my life for as long as I can recall.