Chapter 24

December, 2000

Christmas had been a bit hectic. It was the first Christmas like that since the war. Hermione tried not to be left alone with anyone but Sirius, because she was a bit afraid they would talk about her parents. She had helped with the cooking and setting the table and then Mrs. Weasley expelled Hermione from the kitchen to prevent her from helping her to clean the dining room and kitchen. Hermione found herself feeling a bit suffocated in the sitting room and went to the veranda, to get a bit of air.

She didn't know when it had happened, but she didn't like Christmas like before. She didn't know if it had been because of the War, or because of her parents, or because of herself; she felt out of place. She had enough time to think about it, and she realised it had been the war, because it had changed everything around her: her family, the Weasleys, herself… Time, I just need time, she thought to herself. Time would solve everything.

"What's wrong?"

She turned quickly towards the voice, startled, "Sirius," she said, when she saw him by the door.

He raised an eyebrow. "You look surprised. You should have known that I'd follow you," he said, and chuckled a bit to himself. "I don't like being alone in there."

She bit back a smile. "There are more than ten people inside, Sirius."

"And none of them is you."

Her breath got stuck on her throat and her heart did that thing again.

He cleared his throat. "I only mean that it's good to have someone you trust near."

"Harry isn't there?" she asked, mentally thanking him for talking, otherwise she would have only been able to offer him an awkward silence.

"Last time I saw him he was talking with Bill and Charlie."

She nodded and turned to the garden again, leaning and resting her arms on the wooden support of the veranda.

He walked and imitated her gestures. He looked at her from the corner of his eyes and said, in a soft murmur: "You didn't answer my question."

She chuckled, with a sad tone.

"I was just thinking about my life..." she glanced at him, and then looked back at the garden, "and how different it would be if I had never received a letter from Hogwarts."

They were silent for a couple of seconds – maybe even minutes –, until Hermione sighed profoundly and admitted, shaking her head at the same time as if she thought she was only being silly:

"Sometimes I wish I had never gone to Hogwarts... If—if my magical ability hadn't been developed, it would have eventually faded... not completely, of course, but enough to be normal… Everything would be so much easier."

She looked at him. She was glad he wasn't looking back at her, because she was a bit afraid of what he was thinking of her.

"And the worst of all – and I think you can sympathise with me on this... even if only a little – is that I... I feel as if there's nothing else for me here… besides Harry, the Weasleys and… and you."

At that he did turn his head to her. His shocked expression surprised her. For a second she thought how amusing they might seem, looking at each other with similar facial expressions, but she quickly returned her attention to the matter. He looked away, and when he turned to her again his face was impassive.

"I already sent my answer to Geheim," he said.

Hermione's heart tried to leap into her throat. She knew he was waiting for her to say something, but it took her a while, because she realised that only Sirius had the – she didn't know... talent? ability? power? Power. Yes, that would do... – power of making her heart do all sorts of strange things. This one was new; she could only assume that it was because she dreaded his next words and, at the same time, she couldn't wait to hear them.

"What did you say?" she finally asked.

"What did you want me to say?"

"You know."

"I would like to hear it from you."

She looked at everything around them except his face, his eyes, particularly. When she gathered her courage she sighed deeply and admitted:

"I want... I mean... I would-I would miss you."

"Won't you?" he immediately asked.

"What?" she questioned, confused.

"Just because I didn't apply to a Time Turner doesn't mean I'm going to stay here."

She panicked. "What are you talking about?"

"Sometimes..." he hesitated. "Sometimes I think it would be better to leave to some place no one knew about me. Maybe even outside the Magical community."

She couldn't utter a word. It was as if she had forgotten how to speak. The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't say them.

He frowned at her apparent lack of response and added: "It worked while I was in the hiding after I escaped Azkaban." He dared smile at her, a sad smile. "And I'll give you one less reason for you to stay."

Se bit her lip, not knowing what to say. Since he didn't say anything else, they remained in silence, until a couple of minutes later, when Harry came looking for them.

"I've been looking for you two," he said. He looked really tired, but happy. "I think we should go to Grimmauld Place. They're all starting to look sleepy."

Hermione looked at her watch and realised, surprised, that it was three in the morning. "Of course," she said, walking quickly towards the sitting room to get her cloak and thank Mrs. and Mr. Weasley. Sirius and Harry took a bit longer; she suspected it was so Sirius wouldn't stay too much long to say goodbye, or maybe they were talking. In the end, she actually was the last one to arrive at Grimmauld Place because she had wanted to apologise for keeping them until such hours.

Harry was with his back to her, so she took the opportunity to look at Sirius and tried to telepathically ask him to stay for a couple of seconds. He only frowned at her in confusion, which, she thought, worked too, since he would want to know what was that about. However, she hadn't expected that he would leave to his bedroom. Harry followed him upstairs so she quickly took her cloak and followed their steps. By the time they reached the second floor, Hermione had decided to ignore what she was going to say to Sirius, and if he asked, she would say she had forgotten. After Harry said goodbye and entered in his room, Sirius turned on the lights of the next couple of stairs with his wand. When they reached her bedroom he wished her a goodnight and started walking towards the last row of stairs. She stared at his back for a while and when he reached the stairs that lead to the fourth and last floor of the house, she called his name. He stopped and slowly turned around to look at her.

She swallowed the knot in her throat. "If you leave..." take me with you, she wanted to have said, "warn me," she finished, lamely. She smiled at him, trying to conceal what she really felt.

Without waiting for him to reply, she closed the door of her bedroom and rested against it for a while. She felt like the whole situation was ridiculous. But she didn't regret asking him to warn her. She couldn't imagine how out of place he must feel. She did too, but in a completely different way. The idea of running away was starting to sound dangerously appealing.

Hermione stepped towards the bed and it was then that it hit her. For some reason she couldn't explain – because nothing in particular had trigged that memory – she was hit with the realisation that she was never going to have her wish granted, at least not the wish that the Mirror of Erised had showed her as her deepest wish. Unless it changed, she would never have it. Just like Harry. It was almost the same as Harry, actually. Although, she wondered if his deepest desire was still the same. She needed to know, because, if it wasn't, she could hope.

She opened the door of her bedroom and walked downstairs, making as little sound as possible. She opened Harry's bedroom's door and whispered his name. It took a couple of seconds, but eventually he woke up.

"What's wrong?" he asked, alarmed, putting on his glasses and reaching out to grab his wand.

"Nothing, nothing," she quickly calmed him. "May I come in?"

"Of course."

"It's just a question, really."

He frowned. "Okay..."

"Do you remember when you… saw the Mirror of Erised?"

"Wh-what?" he asked, perplexed. "Yes, of course. Why?"

"I was just wondering if... if your deepest wish can change."

He kept frowning at her.

"I don't know."

"Do you think your deepest wish has changed?" she tried.

He yawned. "I don't know... I don't know."

"Ok... sorry for disturbing you," she murmured and sighed, already regretting have woken him up for her silly thoughts. "Good night."

She was about to close the door when she heard him snort in amusement. "But I'm sure Ron's wish changed," he said, succumbing to sleep.

That brought a smile to her face.

"Hopefully," she murmured.

On the way back to her bedroom Hermione thought that it wouldn't be that bad if she asked Headmaster McGonagall to visit Hogwarts again and see what the mirror held for her, but by the time she was already in her bed she decided against it. She remembered that Dumbledore had told Harry that the Mirror doesn't really show the truth or knowledge. She would not be driven mad because of a Mirror. She knew that what the Mirror of Erised had reflected as her deepest desire was impossible. Just before closing her eyes Hermione decided she would go to Australia; it was time to face reality: she would never have her parents next to her again.

Harry and Ron had already parted to France. They had both come to Grimmauld Place to say goodbye to Sirius and Hermione personally.

She knew that, the moment they left Grimmauld Place, they would be headed to France, so she had to act quickly. She also knew Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would try to convince her to stay until at least after the New Year's Eve, but she needed to go now. If she didn't leave, it would be hard to convince herself again.

She cast a last cleaning spell on the fireplace, glaring at the spot where Ron had been. Then she went to her room and started to pack the few things she had. She would put only what she knew she would need in the first two days in a bag and take it with her, the rest would go in boxes and would arrive there in two days. She had already written the letters: one to Harry and Ron, one to the Weasleys, and another one for Sirius. She wanted to talk to him in person, but she wasn't sure she would be brave enough, so she had the letter as a last resort. She still needed to pack her clothes, but since she didn't have many, she would do it while she waited for the owls. She went downstairs to make a Floo call to the Owlery in Diagon Alley. She would need at least eight owls: two for each of her three boxes, one that would take a letter to the Burrow and the last one that would fly to France.

She was about to finish packing her clothes when she heard from the door:

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked. She looked up. He seemed confused and there was a hint of something more. Hurt? No, not that. Fear? She wasn't sure. He looked around the room, at the boxes, and then at her again, with the same expression on his face.

"Packing," she said.

He walked to her and grabbed her wrists. "I can see that. What I want to know is why."

She raised an eyebrow and decided to mock him a little bit, only because she would have to tell him the truth eventually, but still didn't know exactly how she would do it. The letter was pointless now. "Then you should have asked: why are you packing, Hermione?"

He frowned and let go of her wrists, as if they had burnt his hands.

"I'll amuse you, sweetheart. Why are you packing, Hermione?"

She had resumed packing, but stopped again to look at him for a moment. She had been amused by how he had imitated her tone, but she was completely serious when she turned her eyes to him to say: "I'm leaving."

By the looked of it, she seemed more shocked than he. Had he expected this? They had talked about how would it be like leaving, but she had never been serious; not until that day.

"Where?" he asked simply.

"Australia."

He nodded, as if he had also been expecting that answer. "Does anyone know about this?"

"I'm waiting for the owls. I'll let Harry and Ron know. Thankfully they are going to be busy in the next hours, so they won't see it for maybe a day if I'm lucky. The Weasleys will know by tonight, I think . That's why I must be quick," she said, grabbing the last items of clothing and putting them in another bag. "Not that I have a lot of things to pack..." she mumbled to herself.

"Why Australia?"

She frowned at his question. He knew about her parents, so his inquiry must mean something else.

"Pending issues that must be faced as soon as possible."

"Your parents," he stated, his face serious. She looked at him and saw from his face that he expected a confirmation from her. It took a while for her to answer. Sighing, she said: "Yes, my parents."

"I'm going with you."

Silence.

Her heart skipped a beat. I'm going with you.

"What?"

"I'm going with you."

"You're not serious."

"I'm Sirius," he flashed a smile at her when she rolled her eyes and decided to ignore that last comment.

"You don't have time to pack-"

"I don't need to pack anything."

"You are crazy," she said, feeling as if her heart was beating more and more rapidly.

He shrugged. "Fine, maybe I'll pack a couple of things..."

"Why?" she asked, utterly amazed. "Why do you want to go with me?"

"I just do."

They were in Arthur street. It had been one year and five months since Hermione had been there for the last time. She hadn't seen the inside of the house then. And she had given Sirius the key, just in case she suddenly gave up and ran away.

"You know... I think I saw him," she said, walking next to Sirius.

"Who?"

"Sluier. Twice, I think. He interrupted a meeting I was havig with Geheim. I don't know why I only thought of it now..."

"I saw him." Sirius said. "Once. When I went to the common room to pick a book. I didn't stay there for long, and we didn't talk."

"Tall, thin, white hair, beard and the bluest eyes you've ever seen?" she asked.

He chuckled at the last characteristic and shrugged. "I guess."

They were almost reaching the house when someone called Hermione's name. Hermione's eyebrows raised in surprise. It was Mrs. White, the woman who had told her about her parents. She didn't know exactly how it happened, but one second Mrs. White was asking how she was doing and in the other she was dragging both Sirius and Hermione to her house to drink a cup of coffee. They didn't have any excuse to refuse her invitation, so they accepted, warning her that they had a lot to do so they couldn't stay for long. Mrs. White asked her husband to go get two cups of coffee to the guests and then guided them to the living room, where they sat.

"We haven't seen you in such a long time," Mrs. White said to Hermione.

"One year and five months, to be exact," Hermione said, with a small smile. "I am surprised you remembered me."

Mrs. White waved her hadn dismissively, "I don't forget a face, dear."

"These are interesting," Hermione heard Sirius say. She looked at the table where she found a box with crystals and small stones in it. She frowned a bit, seeming to recognise some of them, but it wasn't that strange to find Muggles with an interest in magical things.

"Yes, some of them are quite hard to find, even with excellet apotheacaries like the ones we have. They are quite useful for spells too and-" Mrs. White stopped abruptly. "Oh dear..." she murmured. "I mean, only if you believe in those kind of things, of course," she said, laughing nervously.

Hermione frowned in confusion and turned to Sirius to see if he was as bemused as her. To her surprise she saw a knowing smile on his face.

"We do," he simply said.

"I beg your pardon?" Mrs. White said, looking at him with what was probably the same perplexed expression Hermione had.

"We know of those magical properties."

The woman still had the same expression. Hermione, on the other hand, knew exactly what Sirius was really talking about. But it wasn't possoble, was it? Hermione looked at her host skeptically. She decided to trust Sirius and commented: "There is a lovely shop that sells all types of crystals and rocks in Diagon Alley..."

The woman went visibly pale.

"Oh my..." she murmured to herself. "Oh my... John! John!"

Mr. White just happened to come out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee.

"There's no need to shout," he said, smilling at his wife and handing Hermione and Sirius the cups.

"I believe," she glanced at them hesitantly for a second, but seemed to ignore her doubts and continued, "I believe Mr. Black and Ms. Granger will be able to tell you all about Diagon Alley!"

Mr. White's eyes almost popped out. "In London?"

His wife giggled. "Of course in London! Where else in the world could you find Diagon Alley?"

Sirius and Hermione only shared a couple of things with Mr. and Mrs. White, because they told them they would have to see it with their own eyes, so it didn't take long for them to find themselves walking towards her parents house. When they reached the door, Hermione waited for Sirius to open, but he didn't. Instead, he asked: "Do you remember that article the Daily Prophet published that you found distasteful?"

"You'll have to be more specific," she retorted dryly.

He snorted. "Fair enough. The one about the supposed outbreak of people resurrecting at the Minstry."

"Ah, yes," she said, shaking her head at the idiocy of the Daily Prophet. "How could I forget..."

"Well, you see..." he said, smilling, at the same time he inserted the key in the hole.

"What?"

"It was. Kind of," he said, looking intently at her.

She frowned at first, but when she understood she laughed, feeling strangely warm inside.

"Yes... I guess. Kind of..." she smiled up at him. He grabbed her hand and walked inside the house with her. She knew he was going to be there for her for whatever happened once she faced her demons. She murmured, a bit in awe: "For me too."

The End

A/N: This isn't actually the ending I first planned, but since I started this story in 2009, it's normal that I changed my mind. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have some time, please leave me a comment with your thoughts. :)

(forgive any mistakes; I normally use Microsoft Office Word, but I had a problem with my laptop, so I have to install everything again. :))