The Brothel House Rules

Disclaimer: You know, if you'd use your imagination a little, you'd realize that I don't own Bleach. I'd like to apply as Kubo's lover though, just to have a part of that juicy thing called property.

Summary: Semi-AU. Aizen betrays Soul Society to become a profitable businessman: A pimp. He then hires the Espada as his prostitutes. What they didn't foresee is that his customers would be none other than his fellow Shinigamis in Gotei 13.

Possible pairings: RenjiXSzayel. IshidaXSzayel. StarkXKyouraku. ByakuyaXRenji. GrimmjowXIchigo. GinXKira. UlquiorraXIchigo. AizenXUlquiorra. HitsugayaXHalibel. ShuuheiXHalibel. Subject to change upon request or whatever.

Prologue: What Pushed the Soul Society to Get Rid of Sousuke Aizen

Sousuke Aizen was an ambitious and crafty man. He had an eye for money, bright future and a comfortable life ahead. To complement this, he was intelligent and perceptive, which made his actions more often than not fruitful. But more than anything else in these things combined, he had an eye for talent. He knew where to look, who to trust, and who to use. So when he secretly devised ways to get kicked out of the Soul Society, he knew exactly just where to start: He made a half-baked master plan to pervert the minds of his two fellow captains, lie, make a bloody carnage at Sector 46, murder Kuchiki Rukia, fake his death, re-emerge as the bad guy, stab Hinamori, and incriminate Hitsugaya in that order (part of his side plans included breaking love teams apart too, as in the case of Hitsugaya and Hinamori, and Gin and Matsumoto). In short, to annoy Commander Yamamoto as severely as he could. He figured that that should be enough for old Yamamoto to fire his ass from Soul Society and not want to see his face ever again.

It was, of course, much more than enough. At this point, Yamamoto was screaming for his head and might probably have plans of keeping it as a trophy on his wall. Aizen knew that the old man left him no choice but to unleash his evil in its ripest form. In other words, he faithfully believed that what he did was the right thing to do.

"He wouldn't let me resign or let me go out there on my own. What else could I have done?" If anyone gave him a chance for an interview, this is exactly what he might have said.

As it happened, not everyone in the Gotei 13 was opposed to Aizen's plot. Gin, his former lieutenant, was ever ready to stand by him. He even facilitated the operation behind Rukia's death penalty just so they could demonstrate how wicked they really were. Another person who supported Aizen was Tousen. No one was sure what his motives were for sticking up for Aizen, but as far as things went, he seemed firmly set on backing the asshole up for whatever good it might do him.

Thus, on a lonely cold night and upon the capture of all three, their execution under the decree of the noble and righteous Royal Family was ordered. What the Soul Society didn't foresee was how skilled these three people truthfully were. Indeed, for anyone bearing the cape of a captain, they seemed quite over-qualified. Thus, at the moment the blade of doom was to grace their necks, they disappeared. There was a long-drawn sigh from the audience as a puff of smoke clouded their vision. Of course, one can only imagine their shock when they learned that the heads they were supposed to have severed transformed into thin air on the chopping block. It might've been Aizen's idea of a joke but at any rate, he was gone. And so were his cronies.

In truth, Aizen wasn't one to use violence or such dirty tricks to prove a point. He knew a lot of tricks, he'd had them up his sleeves for a long time now, but he wouldn't just try it on anyone on a whim. It was only a matter of time then when he realized that his talents were being laid to waste for so long as he stayed with the Gotei 13. He wouldn't prosper there, that's for certain. But Yamamoto was ever so vehemently against his resignation. No matter how much and how long Aizen pleaded, the old man didn't budge. In fact, the more persistent Aizen got, the stonier the old man got. This annoyed Aizen to epic proportions. And so he did what any reasonable man would do, he committed the multiple crimes we just mentioned above. And he did it perforce. And that's why he was now out of the Gotei 13 for good. Or so he thought.

The dream that Aizen had been dying to pursue outside of the Soul Society was to actually put up the busiest, most in demand whore house the world had ever seen. In his travels across the globe, he had seen how rich pimps became in only a short amount of time. What he earned as an elite shinigami in one year was remarkably nothing compared to what a well-established pimp earned in just a few weeks. It shocked him therefore how easy life was outside the Soul Society, and it subsequently triggered this grand ambition in him: I will become a pimp!

And so he did. Just within two seconds of proclaiming it, Sousuke Aizen became a grand pimp.

Far away from the Soul Society, in another dimension called the Hueco Mundo, there was a huge structure that souls and monsters alike called Las Noches. At Las Noches, all sorts of magnificent things happened. For example, one could cry in pain one moment and in the next scream in pleasure. Sometimes it could go on longer than that and more often, the process got to repeat itself until somebody said "enough". But in many of these cases, the people/creatures involved always got what they wanted. In other words, they always walked away from the castle satisfied.

Las Noches was where Aizen chose to conduct his hocus-pocus. In there, he was the Boss, the Daddy of everyone. He refused to call Las Noches a whore house and was swift to argue that Las Noches was a chic place where customers received all sorts of pleasurable treatment and got to pay for it at a very reasonable price. "Las Noches" means "The Nights", by the way, which would make sense if you realize that it only opened its gates after sundown.

Aizen's prostitutes were larger-than-life Arrancars. Of these Arrancars, there were ten that Aizen liked to call The Espada. "Espada" is literally translated to "sword"; so when one is called an Espada, it figuratively means that he could rip you apart. In fact, The Espada could rip apart any part of your body without an ounce of difficulty. Rumor had it that customers, masochistic ones, loved to be ripped apart in certain places: they wanted that part of themselves they called chastity to be ripped apart. In those days, it was an undisputable honor to have that chastity part ripped apart by an Espada.

The Espada were also the most prized employees of Sousuke Aizen. They excelled in terms of statistics and attracting customers. This invariably meant that one had to shell out his whole month's worth of Shinigami earnings to spend at most a night with an Espada. They were creatures of unimaginable majesty, grace, and charms that anyone who got to lay an eye on them found it hard to stare away afterward. So even if one had to go broke just to be done by an Espada, one was likely to always think of it as a worthy deed.

These ten Espada went by different names, but the most known ones were names that obviously indicated their ranks. In other words, there was hierarchy among them. The most profitable of them went by the title Primera, the next one Segunda, the next one Tercera and so on and so forth. The higher the rank, the pricier he was. That was the principle.

And so we are now more or less acquainted with Aizen's business and what he was up to all along. The following day, upon the completion of his whore line-up and the foundation of Las Noches, he went on to work on its advertisement. It was supposed to be the easy part.

TBC