disclaimer: not mine. JKR owns all of the rights.

Remus Lupin sat facing forward with no emotion present anywhere on his body. He occupied the second seat in the front row, nearly alone, save for two people.

The person directly to his right was Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (along with numerous other awards accredited to his name). Albus was, arguably, the greatest wizard of the age; he was also the second most famous wizard in the world. Until a few days prior to the this event, he was the most famous wizard. Then infant Harry James Potter defeated the Dark Lord and the word spread quickly.

The person to Remus' left hand side was Petunia Dursley, nee Evans. Remus had met her once, quite briefly, at Lily and James Potter's wedding. Petunia had not spoken to Remus - or anyone, for that matter - and left the second the ceremony was over. Lily, Remus remembered fondly, had been quite hurt by her older sister's acts. Her green eyes swelled with tears and James Potter had done his best job to comfort his young bride.

Never again would James be able to comfort Lily.

After all, that was why everyone was gathered today. They were here in celebration of the life (and death) of Lily and James Potter. They were the bravest people that Remus had ever been fortunate enough to know. 21, he knew, was far too young to be dead.

Sure, he had been afraid for his friends, but what could he do? There had been a traitor amongst them. Now, far too late, they knew who it was. Sirius Orion Black, the man that James Potter had chosen for his best man; the man that Lily and James had chosen to be their son's godfather, had betrayed them. He was the one who sold Lily and James to Lord Voldemort. He was the reason that Lily and James were gone.

When he had arrived at the funeral, Remus had walked up the few steps to the open caskets where his friends rested. He had done it to pay his respects; he had done it to say goodbye to his best friends. The waxy figures inside the boxes had been silent and still. Remus Lupin could not recall a time in his life that he remembered seeing James so... still. And Lily! Their precious Lily was gone as well. They had died defending their son.

Remus' thoughts flew to the infant as the priest droned on about the magic that the love of Lily and James had created. Harry was hardly over a year old and he was now an orphan. Harry, Dumbledore had explained to him, was now living with his aunt and uncle. The same people that hated the "abnormalities" produced by magic. They didn't understand the ways of the wizarding world. They didn't understand how the magical world worked. The stiff woman who sat next to him - long necked and horse faced - was not a part of his world; she'd never understand the boy-who-lived as well as someone in Remus' world would.

Suddenly the shabbily dressed man gasped and he felt his body shudder once, twice, three times. He felt his cheeks grow hot under liquid that seemed to be pouring down his face. And yet, he remained sitting and facing front.

The old wizard who sat next to the weeping 21 year old boy - men were stronger than this - placed a comforting arm around the boy and leaned close. "It's okay, Remus. They're in a better place now. They're better off."

Remus shook his head. Harsh words poured from his mouth in a deadly whisper: "Better off? And what of Harry!?" Lily and James couldn't possibly be better off dead. They couldn't. They should be alive and able to watch Harry grow up! They should be there to tell him how special he was and how much he was loved and all about the trouble that James and Remus and Sirius and Peter had gotten into at school. They should have been there for Harry; not this pale imitation of someone who might care for the boy eventually that sat next to Remus.

"He'll be treated well. I assure you of this," Dumbledore replied calmly, not at all worried by Remus' harsh tone.

Remus continued to keep his gaze stony and straight ahead as Dumbledore spoke. It was harder than he thought. He wanted to hit the old man. This was his fault! The stupid bloody Order of the Phoenix! If it hadn't been for that, Lily and James might still be alive! Peter might be alive! "He would have been fine with me," Remus hissed back. Petunia slightly turned her head from the priest, a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"You know you can't," Dumbledore replied softly, trying to ease the blow. There were only so many ways that you could tell someone that they were completely unqualified. It wasn't even Remus' fault, but there was nothing that anyone could do about it.

Remus couldn't take this. Three of his closest friends were dead because of another friend. Three of his friends wouldn't get to see Harry James Potter grow up into what Remus knew would be the greatest wizard to ever live. If the events of the past week hadn't been proof of that, you just had to look at his parents. Three of Remus' friends wouldn't be there to take care of him during his monthly transformations; two dead, one laughing his whole was to Azkaban, the Wizarding Prison.

Life wasn't fair, Remus had realized long ago. It was one thing for life to be unfair towards Remus - the lycanthropy had been something he had dealt with for about sixteen years now. People weren't supposed to die at the age of 21. People were supposed to grow up and be best friends and live forever and die in old age. Not at 21; not when there was a child to be raised. Why didn't Dumbledore understand that?

Without warning, Remus' body shook violently as a sob escaped his lips that were pressed into a thin line. Quickly, he stood up and knocked the chair to the ground as he stormed away from the final resting site of Lily and James Potter. He couldn't do this. He didn't care about the people staring at him as he stormed away from the cemetery. It was too nice of a day to waste doing this; the whole world should be mourning Remus' loss!

As soon as he reached the road, Remus disapparated to the small flat that he had been sharing with Sirius Black. Now it was his place, Sirius' stuff strewn about. This wasn't right. He needed to sell the place as soon as possible. Sirius had always kept fire whiskey in the flat and that was what Remus was looking for as he flung the cupboards open. Finding none, Remus slumped to the floor and cried. It was a good thing that he didn't find the fire whiskey, anyway, because tomorrow would be a repeat of today. Another funeral, for another friend who, perhaps, Remus should have paid a bit more of attention to and been nicer to. Another funeral with fake smiles and words that sounded like "you'll be fine" and more goodbyes that Remus wasn't sure he could take.

Remus Lupin, planner extraordinaire, was going to be forced to learn how to take life one day at a time.