Watcher 3: Return

Watcher

This could be set any time between late season 2 and Sunday.

I'm not very happy with this part, I had real trouble maintaining the city's perspective and I'm not sure I've quite succeed.

Summary: Atlantis watches as Rodney returns and the inhabitants of the city change.

RETURN

When his return is announced, the air is filled with anticipation and a renewed sense of optimism awakens. The mantra of the expedition has become 'hold together until he gets here'. Details of every fault and temporary fix that have occurred in his absence are complied and prioritised, ready to hand over as soon as he arrives.

A surprising number of people find they have urgent business that requires their presence in the gate room when the Daedalus finally arrives. In addition to Weir, Beckett, Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon, there are scientists apparently working on every console and control panel in the room and off-duty marines who felt a sudden urge to assist with checking and storing the supplies brought on the Daedalus.

Sheppard and Weir say nothing and allow the fictional reasons for their presence to stand unchallenged. They understand the need that has driven them there and will not deny them the comfort of seeing him return.

A sudden flash of white light and he is standing before the gate. Bouncing slightly on his toes, his chest puffed out proudly to draw attention to the medal that is prominently displayed there. I feel his mind reaching out to me instinctively, even as his focus is on his friends.

Weir is the first to step forwards, understated as always but with a tone of real relief underlying the words, "Welcome back, Rodney and...well done."

"Hey, pal, it's good to have you back." Sheppard says enthusiastically, patting him on the shoulder in greeting, and then his team surrounds him, Teyla pulling his head down in the Athosian greeting and Ronon thumping him so hard on the back that he staggers.

He seems slightly puzzled by the warmth of the greeting but shrugs it off, happy to be back and taking the opportunity to begin explaining in detail how he was able to save Earth and the medal he was given in recognition of his actions. His hands wave in counterpoint to his words and he is totally unaware of the smiles he is receiving from everyone in the room.

Suddenly he breaks off, mid-sentence, and tilts his head to one side, listening to something only he can hear. His team look at him in confusion as he unexpectedly snaps out, "What the hell have you done to my city?" and strides towards the control console, shoving one hapless technician out of his way as he does so and snapping his fingers impatiently until another vacates the seat in front of the console. Moments after he starts moving, my sensors identify the cause of his concern and I trigger the alarm. I don't know what he feels from me, or how it is possible that he can sense problems before they are picked up by my systems, but this is not the first time that he has done so.

I silence the alarm as he re-routes power away from the compromised system, buying himself the time to fix it properly. That done, he looks up at the people watching him and snaps out, "Where's Zelenka?"

Without waiting for a reply, he touches his earpiece and summons the engineer, frowning slightly at the uncharacteristically dull tone of the Czech's voice as he announces he is on his way.

"Rodney..." Weir begins hesitantly, only to be interrupted by Carson saying firmly, "Radek's a wee bit fragile right now, Rodney, don't you be too rough on him."

"Fragile?" He scowls, "I don't care if he's as delicate as a snowflake, I need his report. It's blindingly obvious that this city has problems and I'm not going to learn anything useful from the rest of you."

Any response the others might have made is silenced by Zelenka's arrival. His frown deepens at the sight of him, cataloguing the changes that the last few months have wrought. The engineer's steps drag as he walks, his skin is almost grey and sags slightly, emphasising the weight he has lost and there are deep circles beneath his eyes. He registers everything in a single comprehensive glance and then he states bluntly, "Zelenka, you look like crap." before grabbing his arm and dragging him off towards the closest room, locking the door and darkening the windows before Dr Weir realises what he's doing, let alone has a chance to protest at his usurping her office without asking.

With a sigh and a smile, she turns to Sheppard and the others and says, "Since my office appears to be off-limits for the moment, why don't we adjourn to the briefing room and contact Colonel Caldwell to fill us in on the situation on Earth."

---

Once in Weir's office, he releases his hold on Zelenka and shoves him into the closest chair. "Sit down before you fall down," he advises bluntly. "and then fill me in."

Zelenka brings up a file on the tablet PC he was holding and then passes it over. "This is report of all that has gone seriously wrong with Atlantis during time you have been gone."

He is mostly quiet as he reads, asking occasional questions about the actions that have been taken and sometimes muttering almost inaudibly under his breath but otherwise absorbed in the information before him. Zelenka fidgets uncomfortably until he sets aside the tablet and 'hmm's' thoughtfully and then bursts out. "I am sorry, Rodney."

Startled blue eyes rise from the screen but Zelenka hurries on before he can speak, "I failed. I could not keep Science department running as you do. I could not keep city running as you do. I think perhaps you left wrong person in charge as clearly I could not cope.

His mouth twists and he skewers the other man with a look, familiar to many, that states as loudly as words, 'you are an idiot and I am about to explain why'. "What, exactly, are you apologising for, Radek?" he snaps out impatiently, "Because I have to say that it sounds like you're feeling guilty for not being me. And, okay, it sucks for you that you're not 'cos, hey, super-genius here...but its hardly new information. You've always known you're not me. So who, other than me, could have coped as well or better than you did? Who should I have left in charge?"

Zelenka's brow wrinkles and he opens his mouth to reply, only to close it again without speaking.

"You see? There's no one else who could have done it, even temporarily, which is why I chose you. If it were easy I wouldn't be doing it, it would be left to a lesser mind while I did something more challenging. However, despite the enormous handicap of not being me, you took care of the city and, by extension, the people in it to the best of your abilities. And you're best seems to have been pretty good because, oh look, the city's still here."

"But it was not enough! People were hurt..." The forceful words trail off and he swallows hard, the next words emerging as a whisper from his suddenly tight throat, "Stoker is dead...because my best was not good enough, because I could not..."

"Welcome to my world."

Zelenka blinks, startled into silence by the unexpected response and the wry, slightly sad tone it is delivered in.

He sighs, "Radek, how many people have we lost since we came here? Do you have any idea how many people have died waiting for me to save them, but I wasn't fast enough? Or because they trusted me, but I wasn't right enough? Or sacrificed themselves in order to save me, as if my life was somehow more important than theirs?" He shakes his head, and in his mind I can see the parade of faces and names, names he can never remember in life but that are burned into his memory in death, "I remember every soldier or scientist I've ever failed to save since we got here, but that doesn't mean that my best isn't enough. It's all I've got to give...so I'll keep giving it. And so will you."

"I...how? How do you continue under so much pressure? How do you live with the dead? I did not know. I thought I did but I did not know even half of what you do each day. You carry the whole expedition and have done for years while it crushed me in just a few weeks even though there have been no major crises in that time."

"I do my best. And my best is pretty damned impressive." His lop-sided smile flashes for a second, and then he adds, "Plus I can yell at you for stress relief...and I can be reasonably certain that if I assign you a task you'll do it right, which means, although you may never hear me say so again, that I don't do everything myself."

For the first time, Zelenka smiles and admits, "I understand why you get worked up about rampant stupidity now. For supposedly intelligent people they can be...remarkably idiotic. Is often quicker to simply do it yourself than to explain everything three times so they understand why they are wrong."

He laughs and says again, "Welcome to my world. Now, lets go and fix the power conduit in the North West corridor so we can turn the power back on in that sector without it blowing up." He looks at Zelenka for a moment and then says, "On second thoughts, I'll fix it, you go and get some sleep."

"I would like to help. I can sleep after while you read detailed reports of last 4 months."

After an assessing look, he nods his agreement.

"Thank you." The heart-felt tone of Zelenka's voice says more than words and makes it abundantly clear that he means for more than being allowed to assist in the repairs, "It is very good to have you back, Rodney."

They are both smiling as they leave the office.

---

I listen with Sheppard and the others as Caldwell recounts the events on Earth. We are all dismayed to learn that he had been badly injured while he was gone and I run my sensors over him as he continues to talk to Zelenka in order to confirm that he is well. Lacking this option, Sheppard and Beckett both leap to their feet only to be told to sit back down by Weir and Caldwell, who assures them that he is almost fully recovered.

Reluctantly, they do as instructed but their gazes stray continually to the door.

"He was asked to stay, you know," Caldwell says casually once his report is complete, "that's part of the reason he was away for so long. McKay saved our asses and they wanted to keep him around to do it again if necessary. It really scared them when Carter couldn't figure it out."

Everyone turns to look at him in horror and Caldwell laughs, "Relax, he told the President and the Joint Chiefs that he was either going back to Atlantis or he quit and that if they wanted to reap the benefits of his genius in the future then they'd better let him go home. It took them a while to accept they couldn't change his mind but General O'Neill backed him and eventually they gave him a medal and let him go."

I am both pleased and dismayed by Caldwell's words. It is gratifying to know how hard he will fight for his place here but it is also a worrying reminder that his presence here is not by his choice alone and he could be sent away at any time.

Shocked by the news of how close they came to losing him, first to death and then to reassignment, his team are out of the door almost before they are granted permission to leave, with Beckett close on their heels. They head straight for Weir's office, only to discover that he and Zelenka have already left.

Once they have tracked him down, Beckett is mollified by a promise to stop by the infirmary for a check-up once he has time and by his quick visual assessment that confirms there are no obvious indicators of weakness or pain - and by the lack of complaints about the same. Teyla and Ronon linger for a while, watching him work until they are satisfied that he is well and then leave after it is agreed they will meet for a team night as soon as possible, although he refuses to commit to a specific time or date because of the work that he needs to get done. The look they exchange with Sheppard contains a silent agreement that they will allow him to overwork for only so long before dragging him out of the labs, whether he wishes to go or not.

Sheppard remains once the others have left, following him to the labs and asking questions, teasing or simply watching him work until he is told that if he insists on hovering he should make himself useful and go and get him some coffee and, preferably, cake as well.

---

Over the next few days he seems to be everywhere. I feel him working in my systems, putting things right, making them better. Almost every member of the expedition finds a reason to be wherever he is at some point, although he remains unaware of it. When he is in the labs, small crowds form outside, exchanging sheepish glances but unwilling to leave. Only a select few venture any closer, the rest are content to keep a safe distance from his wrath while they listen to the rise and fall of his voice as he berates the other scientists or talks enthusiastically about some ancient device. They draw comfort and reassurance from his presence, finding the balance that has been lost in his absence and scattering at the first sign he intends to leave the lab in order to to avoid being caught.

It is harder when he is outside the labs, standing in corridors next to open panels, tapping away at his tablet, always in motion, fixing things in one place and immediately moving on to the next system in need of his attention. They cannot stand and watch him without drawing his attention, but there is surprisingly heavy traffic around his location and the mess is crowded whenever Sheppard manages to drag him away from his work long enough to eat a proper meal, regardless of the time of day.

Nobody says anything to him, and he remains oblivious to the interest in his movements and the monumental shift in people's attitude towards him. He is still abrupt and often rude but there is an indulgence of his behaviour that was not there before and which shields him from any lingering animosity. While they still enjoy grumbling about him amongst themselves, anything more negative or criticism from outsiders is quickly silenced.

Their need to see him quickly dissipates but the change in their perception of him does not. In his absence they have learned how much he has done for each of them on a personal level. That he has not only saved their lives but also ensured their comfort in a thousand smaller ways such as building and maintaining the media centre in the recreation room, making sure they have hot water and by fixing all the insignificant little things that were of no consequence beyond being a minor source of irritation, like a blinking light in a corridor.

There is no sudden out-pouring of gratitude. The first time someone says thank you, he is shocked almost speechless, managing only an awkward acknowledgement and a less than gracious dismissal before hurrying away. It is one of the many contradictions of his character that, while he craves recognition, gratitude makes him deeply uncomfortable.

So instead they find other ways to show that they do not take what he does for granted. No one speaks to him of their new understanding but suddenly his favourite meals are served more often in the mess and when blue jello or chocolate pudding are on the menu there is always one left when he gets there, regardless of the time. His supplies of coffee and chocolate are mysteriously replenished and people smile and nod at him as they pass, although more often then not he doesn't even notice, too engrossed in his work to register what goes on around him.

There is new and deeper respect for him now, even amongst those who are closest to him - those who should already have known better. It is a respect born of the knowledge that he really is everything that he claims to be and more. People are more inclined to listen when he speaks and the military are both more protective of him and less dismissive of his abilities. His position as the heart of the expedition is explained to new arrivals by the veteran members almost as soon as they transfer from the Daedalus and those few who can't learn to appreciate him don't last long before being returned to Earth.

While he notices few, if any, individual changes, he responds instinctively to the overall change in atmosphere. As time passes he becomes a little less tense, a little less defensive, as he subconsciously recognises that, after being isolated for so long, he is surrounded by people who are able to accept and appreciate him for all that he is, rather than those who simply tolerate him for what he can do.

As I watch the changes and feel his response, I am satisfied. They have finally begun to see him as I do.

THE END

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