Author's Note: This chapter has a heavy focus on Dr. Horrible. I promise it will level out as the chapters roll on. As for the setting, it takes place shortly after Dr. Horrible's failed heist with the freeze ray. However, in this story, Dr. Horrible does not need to pull off a murder to get accepted to the E.L.E. He just needs to prove himself to the League. All major characters are alive. Please review!

---

The doctor wasn't getting anywhere. This was the sixth time in eight days Hammer had interfered with Billy's progress with Penny. Just when he thought he was getting somewhere with her, that toolbag would show up and abscond with her attention. Laundry days used to be their alone time. Now Hammer would show up to help. His "help" involved sitting on an empty machine, retelling tales of his greatest victories, and subtly criticizing how much detergent Billy was using. Today he had exacerbated the humiliation by pointing out how Billy should never wash synthetic fibers with natural fibers, shortly before surreptitiously tripping Billy on his way to the drier. Penny knelt down in an offer to help, but Hammer insisted on showing off his role as the altruistic Samaritan.

"What a cock," Billy muttered as he slumped down into the chair in front of his computer. He laced his fingers and pushed his palms out in front of him, cracking his knuckles in fluid motion. He pulled on his gloves, completing his attire, straightened the webcam on his monitor, and took a deep breath.

"Well," he began as he hit record, "it's been a two weeks since I first got my letter from the League, and I've yet to pull off a successful heist." He sighed. "You know, being an evil scientist isn't as easy as it looks," he said knowingly, looking his audience square. "I mean, you think being good at math is all it takes? Tssh. No. It takes a lot of..." He trailed off. "It's just not easy, okay? Bad Horse should cut me some slack. I mean, whatever happened to 'it's the thought that counts'?" He paused and shook his head. Then he raised an index finger and shook it at the camera. "But don't you worry, because I've got a plan. And, before you ask, to avoid any future situations like last week's occasion at the mayor's dedication, I've constructed a sub-plan. It's a little more complicated than some of my projects so far have been, but if I can pull it off, I'll be sipping tea with Bad Horse by Christmas." He grinned and demonstrated his work-in-progress memorable laugh. "Without giving too much away, it involves a very complicated machine that I've been working on for weeks which will materialize for me a doppelganger." He cocked his head to the side, examining the wooden frame around his door. "Or destroy the very fabric of time and space." After a contemplative beat, he returned his gaze to the screen. "Oh well, I'm sure it'll go off without a hitch. I'm going to test it out tonight. So, if all goes according to plan, by this time tomorrow I will have a stunt double for when I—"

Before he could finish, his front door opened and Moist came in, carrying a very soggy grocery bag. "Hey Doc."

"Dude, you have got to stop doing that," Billy said as he paused the recording on his computer. "I'm never going to upload these blog entries."

"Sorry," Moist said. "I can leave and come back later?"

"No, no," Billy said helping him with the groceries. "Sorry I snapped. I'm really nervous about this Genetic Vortex."

"You gonna give it a whirl tonight?" Moist asked looking eager.

"Don't get too excited," Billy said. "I'm going to need you to clear the room when I do. If something goes wrong, I don't want to take you down with me."

"Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine," Moist said. "You've been working on that thing for, like, a month."

"Yeah, well you remember what happened with the first run of the Transmatter Ray."

"Yeah..."

"And the first run of the Freeze Ray."

"Yeah..."

Billy placed the bag on the counter and dug out two rolls of very squelchy paper towels, a soppy cardboard box of crackers, a bag of red grapes, a bottle of easy-cheese, and a bag of Funions.

"Healthy diets are for heroes," Moist said derogatorily.

"Where's the frozen yogurt?" Billy muttered anxiously, feeling the muscles around his eyes tremor.

"Come on, man," Moist said. "Isn't that a bit too cliché for junk food?"

"No, you don't understand," he said frantically. "I need a hefty supply of frozen yogurt."

"For the Vortex?" Moist asked, looking confused.

"No," Billy said, giving his sidekick a hybrid look of panic and embarrassment. "For Penny."

Moist offered to go back out for a jumbo pack of frozen yogurt while the doctor tested out his new machine.

---

Billy paced around the Vortex, now dressed in loose plainclothes and scrutinizing every last detail of the model. "All right," he whispered to himself. "Better get this over with." After tinkering with what seemed like hundreds of buttons and knobs, he stepped inside what looked like a spherical capsule, just barely large enough to fit him if he crouched down. He pressed his thumb to a screen in front of him and waited twenty seconds for it to read his DNA. A soft hum begun to whir from the wires until it escalated to a dull high pitch. Billy felt a numbness bite his toes and spread quickly up his body until he lost consciousness. The capsule shook vigorously, and a flash of amber light, which would have blinded Moist had he stuck around, radiated through the glass walls. Suddenly, the machine stabilized and the whirring drooped into silence.

Barney Stinson stumbled out of the capsule and pushed a sweaty palm into his forehead. "Where the hell am I?"