Disclaimer: Transformers © Hasbro
Warnings: arguing, groping, implied mech-sex, and disturbed Cybertronians (except Skywarp)
Summary: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Only now the arguments are a lot more fun.
Notes: Inspired by this plot bunny from the TF Bunny Farm LiveJournal Community:
??: "I hate you so much!"
??2: "I hate you more!"
??: "Fine!"
??2: "FINE!"
*?? and ??2 begin passionately making out.*
??3: "uh... what just happened?"
It's also acting as the sequel to "Undercover," so... if you haven't read that it might be a good idea to check it out first. And I'm going along with the movieverse canon of Prime and Megatron being brothers, just because I like that dynamic.
Megatron heaved a sigh through his vents and rubbed at one optic wearily. In the few weeks after the undercover mission he'd sent his top two officers on – which was an overall success, as Starscream had confirmed that the energy source was not only legitimate but enough to keep the Decepticons fueled for at minimum a quarter-vorn – it seemed that the pair of them were a little less confrontational with one another. Granted, they didn't exactly speak to one another outside of their scheduled shifts, but at least they weren't exchanging glares or hurtling insults back and forth. Megatron had even seen fit to meet with the Autobot leaders and arrange for a more permanent ceasefire; if all went well, a few of their demands would be satisfactory to all involved and the war could finally end.
And almost as soon as the treaty was agreed upon and signed, the smaller war between Starscream and Soundwave gradually started up once again.
The gunformer spared a glance at his brother; Optimus looked like he was ready to shake the arguing mechs, who were apparently on a roll this time. "Does this happen often?" the Autobot leader asked quietly.
"Only on days that end in y," Megatron responded, annoyance colouring his tone. The other mechs in the room – a mix of the Autobot special ops unit and the Decepticon seekers – were watching the proceedings with a look of horrified fascination; the 'bots had never heard Soundwave raise his voice before, and the 'cons were waiting to see if the altercation was going to turn physical any time soon.
"For someone who's supposed to be intelligent, I have to wonder what pitiful excuse for an academy let you pass!" Starscream snapped, glaring darkly at the blue mech as if he had no idea how much more bulk the other had on him.
Soundwave returned the glare and snarled in response, "Your own intellect is questionable at best, especially when you pick a fight with someone you have no chance of defeating."
"Oh, so you were only pretending to bleed when I was kicking your aft a few weeks ago. Good to know, you're a marvelous actor."
"And you are a pitiful, half-clocked glitch of a mech."
Skywarp winced. "That was low," he remarked to Mirage, who only nodded and kept his optics locked on the arguing pair like he was watching a train wreck.
"Walking scrapheap!"
"Outdated model!"
"Slag-sucker!"
"Pleasure drone!"
"Grah!" Starscream screeched, throwing his hands up in annoyance. "I hate you so much!"
"I hate you more!" the telepath snapped back, hands clenched into tight fists and appearing as if he was going to start throwing punches any astrosecond.
"Good!"
"Great!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Everyone in the room was expecting something to happen when Soundwave launched himself at the seeker; they just weren't expecting it to be retracting his mask and shoving his glossa down Starscream's throat as he slammed the other mech against the wall. Apparently, Starscream had been expecting it as his response was to claw at his "attacker's" face and wrap both legs around his waist.
"Uh..." Bumblebee asked hesitantly, optics wide in shock, "what just happened?"
"Soundwave and Screamer declared their undying hatred and started making out," Dirge replied, sounding as if he didn't quite believe what he was seeing.
"That's... disturbing," Megatron remarked, trying to figure out just when, exactly, his top officers decided to start ending their fights in this manner. Optimus was already beating a hasty retreat for the door, slightly disturbed and more than a little embarrassed; he was of the opinion that some things should stay in one's quarters.
"I think it's kind of hot," Skywarp chirped, grinning broadly and obviously enjoying the show. He laughed aloud when the intertwined mechs each freed a hand to flip him off before going right back to what they were doing. "Are the cameras recording this? I want copies."
Jazz and Mirage both looked at the seeker like he was insane, only to race for the door when Starscream yelped. They really didn't want to stick around to see or hear any more. Megatron quickly followed, ushering the remaining Autobots and his seekers out the door, although it took Thundercracker and Ramjet dragging a loudly protesting Skywarp from the room to accomplish the task.
It was another hour before Starscream and Soundwave left the room, only to retreat quickly to the seeker's quarters. Everyone gave them a wide berth and avoided making optic contact.
Skywarp was disappointed to find that there were no cameras in Starscream's quarters, although he did get his copy of the conference room footage before Rumble erased it.