AN:

Here's the preface. I hope you like it! Hopefully Victoria will let me tell you her whole story before she drinks my blood. I want to thank Teri for her help, support, and inspiration.

Disclaimer: Victoria and Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with them.

"One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands alone and throws one's head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one's heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun – which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in some one's eyes."

– Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

I look into the chocolate brown eyes of the girl whose existence has been torturing me for exactly fifteen months. The girl who I'm going to kill after my constant planning of her destruction. My throat sears at the scent of her blood – the blood of my prey. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a mate for a mate. This feeble, fragile, unlucky human is going to breathe her last breath, and he is going to watch.

She's staring at me. She's so afraid; I can smell her fear. It excites me that she's so scared, but I'm hit with a sense of recognition. I am very familiar with this same kind of fear. Fear, not of dying, but of losing the ones you love. It had happened to me. Several times. But this girl... she is different from me, for the obvious reasons. She's so innocent, so pure. As pure as the melting puddles of snow beneath our feet. I could never compare myself to her, especially when I'm about to turn her into a puddle of blood.

I turn my head quickly to look into the eyes of the vampire in front of me. Even if I see those eyes every day for all eternity, I would never be able to get over their bizarre golden color. His eyes: brimming with love for her, filled with hate for me. But that color. It's just so... different. I don't understand how he can control himself, or how anyone in his coven can do what they do, for that matter.

He's hardly a vampire. I'm the vampire. I deserve that label, with every hunt I make, on every human I feed. I am the vampire here, not him. I am the monster. I am the killer. I am the cold, heartless creature. He's nearly human. Almost as pitiful as her. He drives a fucking Volvo, for God's sake!

But damn it, his eyes are messing with my head! For one burst of a moment that lasts for one second and a half, I forget what I had come to do. My life, my existence, flashes before my eyes. My mother, my father, my brother, my childhood, my friends, my home, him, my death and rebirth, my undead existence. Countless deaths to tame my thirst. I could have done better. Could have controlled myself, or at least tried harder. I could have maintained some shred of humanity. But I didn't. I was, and still am, a monster. Just for a half a second, I want to apologize to the whole world for the last one-hundred and fifty years of my existence. I look at Bella. Forgive me, I want to say. But I don't.

Then I remember why I'm here when the wind kicks up and I get a whiff of her hair. I shoot out of my trance like a bat out of hell, and I'm back with a vengeance. Fuck this shit, I think to myself. Her heart is pounding inside her ribcage, and I need for it to stop. Get past Edward, rip her heart out, and make it fucking stop. I've waited for so long to finish what James had begun.

I need her dead, obliterated, wiped from the face of the earth like James. To get back at Edward. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a mate for a mate. I want Edward to be as dead, empty inside as I am. This asshole killed my reason to exist, and so I would kill his. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking that there's a possibility that after all this, I will become a pile of smoking ashes. And I don't think I mind that. I kind of like the idea, actually. The endless circle of days and nights and weeks and months and years will finally be over. My existence without James will be over.

Somewhere, far, far away in the cold forest, a wolf howls.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. Come discuss Victoria and all your favorite Twivillains on the Twilighted forums. Link is on my profile page.