Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, and if J. K. ever read this fanfiction, which she might because she does read fanfiction, then she might just sue me anyways.

Warning: Pointless sex and crappy grammar spoken by the characters in this crack-fic. Oh, and this is a crack-fic.

A/N: No comment. Please.

Ron was lying on his back on the bed when Harry strolled into the room. Harry yelled, "Secks, nao!" and Ron said, "No effing way, dewd." Harry then replied, "I don't take no for an answer." Then Ron heaved a sigh and intoned, "If you want to take me, then you will have to first answer three questions." Harry inquired, "What are your three questions?" Ron said, "The first question is: How large is your penis?" Harry scratched his head for a moment, then spoke, "I think it is about 7 inches long, and three inches wide." Ron asked his second question, "Have you ever had your anus breached?" Harry shook his head, "No, I've never had anal secks." "My final question: Are you willing to have your rectum defiled by my overly-large penis?" "Yeah, sure. Just…secks, nao!" "Okay." The two boys quickly shucked all of their clothing and had sex loudly on Ron's bed. The other Gryffindor boys came in some time later to find them sweaty and spent on top of the covers, covered in smelly semen. Seamus gave a long, low whistle and asked what the rest of them were thinking, "Can we join you?"

The End.