"You can go. That jerk told me I can go! Beth is my patient. I started this trial. It was my idea. Stupid brainless brain man." Meredith Grey quietly fumed to herself as she left Beth's room and headed for the resident's locker room to change her clothes. "He doesn't want to work with me anymore? Well fine if that is the way he wants it. I don't need this, he can have his candy eating annoying nurse. I don't care anymore" Even as she said this she knew better, however denial always worked best for her. She decided one drink wouldn't set back the months of therapy she had subjected herself to. She quickly changed clothes and text Cristina as she headed to Joe's.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek Shepherd sat next to Beth's bed. He kept a close eye on her stats as he signed off on his charts for the day. He couldn't believe he let Meredith talk him and Beth into doing this surgery. Beth had just lost the love of her life because he couldn't save Jeremy and then Meredith goes and decides to exert pressure on Beth. He just didn't understand Meredith any more and for the life of him he couldn't understand why he bothered trying. He had Rose and while she didn't make him feel like Meredith had he thought in some instances that was a good thing. With Rose he didn't have to guess what his place was in her life and she was open to the possibility of a future with him. He would get over Meredith Grey. It was just a matter of time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith sat at the bar with a shot of tequila before her. She has been staring at it for 20 minutes. She felt Joe's inquisitive gaze on her and she could tell she was starting to freak him out. That was okay because him staring at her was starting to freak her out.

"Are you going to stare at that tequila all night or are you going to drink it?" Joe asked.

" I don't know what to do." Meredith stated.

" You pick it up, put it to your mouth and then swallow."

" I know that! That's not what I am talking about…You know what never mind. I am just not in the mood for tequila right now, can I get a water Joe?"

"What? Water? Who are you and what have you done with my person?" Cristina asked as she sat down next to Meredith.

"I…I.. Cristina I am just so messed up right now. I just don't understand how things got this way. Derek…"

" Okay seriously Mer. I am not your shrink. I want to be all supportive or whatever but Mer you really need to just move on from Shepherd. He is with his McNurse. Go get laid, You are much more fun when you are getting some."

Meredith laughed. " I am not going to go get laid and I am not going to get drunk. I am going to move on. It is time to move on. I can move on, right? Cristina?"

"Oh right yeah, you can and you will move on. I will help you Mer you know that. You'll have me and Barbie, Bambi, and Evil Spawn."

Meredith smiled tiredly at Cristina. "Thanks." She laid her head down on Cristina's shoulder.

"Uh Mer? Okay I said I would be supportive but I don't go for this touchy-feely crap."

" Shut up you're my person."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith rushed down the hall towards Beth's room. She received a 911 page as she was headed home from Joe's. "Oh please don't let her be dead, Please." She thought to herself as she hurried into Beth's room. Beth's parents were over her bed crying. Derek was on the other side of her bed. He looked briefly at her and then walked out of the room after telling Mr. and Mrs. Monroe to page him with any questions. He avoided her eyes as he left the room. Meredith crept slowly to where Derek had been standing just seconds before and looked down. Beth's warm brown eyes looked back at her. "You're awake!" She looked to Beth's parents. "She's awake! This is so wonderful and just… Oh my God! I will be back to check on you later okay?" Meredith left the room to go find Derek. They had a bottle of champagne to open. Yeah, they had fought today but they had saved Beth's life. Finally after 12 failed attempts they had saved a life. She hurried to the lounge to get their "victory dance".

Derek sat by himself on the roof of the hospital and looked down on the lights of Seattle. It was so peaceful here unlike the war that was raging in his head. Beth was alive! He should have been so happy and he was, but he knew he had to move on from Meredith and that thought alone just about killed him. And he knew the way he had to push her away from him would hurt her. He knew she didn't deserve it, but it was the only chance they had to move on and maybe just maybe be happy without each other.

A noise startled him out of his thoughts.

"There you are! I have been looking all over for you. Do you ignore your pages now?" Meredith asked.

He looked down at his pager. Crap, he did have 3 missed pages from Meredith.

"I just needed to be alone Dr. Grey. I am sure you can understand that." He said coldly.

Meredith blinked. " Dr. Grey? Are you alright? Beth is alive, we saved her! And I know you were upset with me earlier, but she is okay and we did it Derek! We freaking did it!" She stopped when she saw he wasn't sharing in the celebration. " We have to open our victory dance Derek… Derek?"

"I said I need to be alone. Don't you understand English?" He growled. " Did you think I was joking Dr. Grey when I said after Beth's surgery that I didn't want to see you or hear you or work with you? Because I wasn't! I know that there will be some instances that I will be forced to work with you, but know that I will do everything in my power to stay as far away from you as possible. You manipulated me into this trial, you used the feelings I had for you, the need that I had just to be near you to get me on board for this. But never again Dr. Grey. You will address me as Dr. Shepherd. There is no Derek and Meredith. You killed this…you killed us. I have the chance to be happy and I am going to take it and it may not be with Rose but I can assure you, it will be with someone who is not emotionally stunted and not someone who gets drunk and fucks random guys. We are done! Do you understand me Dr. Grey?"

" Yes Dr. Shepherd." She choked out. She turned and ran to the door and down the stairwell. Halfway down she collapsed onto the landing and let the tears overtake her.

She sobbed her heart out for all that was now lost.

I know. I know. Don't kill me. Anyone who knows me knows that I am merder all the way. Have faith. I am not Shonda. I will fix this…later.