i feel like a hero, and you are my heroine
do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

For the first time in what seems like forever, it's raining. Sheets of water are pouring in torrents outside. The weather is an invitation for cold, which seeps through every crevice in the wall, soaks into every nuance of the building, and envelops us- all of us- in a chill that's petrifying.

It's these cold, dark nights that I remember her the most. It's these nights that I miss her the most.

She always had liked rainy nights, falling asleep to the constant rhythm of raindrops against the pavement. She had loved it as a human, and loved it as a Pokemon.

"It's raining," I remember her observing one night, the soft rustle of her paws against the straw still burning into my memories. She faces me with an unreadable expression, one that's two parts relief and one part longing. "It's been so long since it's rained."

I can see her, her eyes soft and glistening with the remembrance of some long-ago human feeling, and though sympathy courses through my mind, I feel an acute desire to shake that memory out of her. I want to erase all recollections of her former life and keep her here, like this, forever.

It's this memory that sends pangs of guilt through my heart, because I remember, though I want so badly to forget, the way she longed to be a human again. The way her voice would grow excited when I asked her about that life. The way hope would shine in her eyes every single time I asked, reluctantly, whether she would ever return to the way she used to be.

It's not as if I hadn't wanted the best for her. I had, really, I just... wasn't happy about it. I had grown to claim her as my friend, my best friend. There was nothing more to our relationship then, but what I felt for her was enough to make me realize that she was the most important thing in my life. My world. My universe.

And then, like that, she was gone. My partner, my best friend. Gone for who-knows-how-long, gone for what could be an eternity.

The rain's intensifying, and I can hear shrieks down the hallway. Sunflora's never been a fan of thunderstorms, but I find the noise outside to be calming. I've always been the jumpy type, the cowardly type. But since my leader's absence, I've taken on, for some reason, her quiet determination, her polite manner of speaking, even her silence. And her bravery. It's as if some part of her lies in me and drives me forwards, though she had been the only one who could do that before.

They say that we had been so close. That we had reached the point in our friendship where she could pass for me and I could pass for her. And sometimes, one of the guild apprentices will face me with a strange expression and notice, gently, that I'm "acting just like her".

But I can never take her place. I can never bring her back.

///

Ever since she left, I've wondered about many things. Things that I had been too stupid and naive to think about before. Back then, I was so foolish... I believed that we had all the time in the world.

Ever since she left, I'm not taking anything for granted. Not anymore.

Time seems to move slowly, each agonizing second crawling by slower than the one before. I'm plagued with sleepless nights and bad dreams. What bothers me the most, though, are the memories that creep into my mind in the most inopportune of moments.

I'm getting pummelled in a dungeon, and the first thing I think of is the way she surged ahead and took the attacks that were meant for me.

I'm getting promoted to Gold Rank, and the only thing I see is her smile and the way her eyes shine.

I'm trying to sleep, and I hear her breathe besides me, as if she isn't gone, hasn't gone, will never go.

Now, I think of what I truly felt for her. I had told myself that it was just the deepest of friendships, the most indestructible of bonds. I had told myself that she was the greatest friend that I had ever had. I cared for her so much- to what extent, I had no idea, I just cared for her.

And then I remember the jealousy I felt at Grovyle when he looked at her, and the way I felt so wonderful when she snuggled against me on cold nights.

I know it now. I loved her.

Tonight, with rain pouring down outside and the cold settling in, I want her more than ever. It eats at my heart, and I'm instantly hit with waves of remorse and sadness and pure longing. I want to cry, but it feels as if I've shed enough tears to fill an ocean.

I want to see her, but it feels as if I've had my chance and I've blown it completely.

With a pang in my heart, I realize that we were never really meant to be. What kind of Pokemon falls in love with a human, even if she is wonderful and brave and intelligent? What kind of a partner falls in love with his leader? What kind of an idiot longs for something he can never have?

She's gone, I remind myself. It's too late for anything.

I settle into sleep, the wind whispering outside and the rain beating a rhythm on the roof above, and I dream of her eyes and her voice and her warmth.

///

I wake up with tears still drying on my cheeks.

I'm not in the mood for anything, not even exploring. From the looks of it, the rain hasn't stopped, but it's early. I've managed to rise even earlier than Loudred, and I'm glad of it. A rude awakening's the last thing I need.

I quietly patter through the hallways and into the main room. It's empty, save for Chatot. He's studying the walls with an air of weariness, as if he's gone through too much in too short a time.

I walk over to greet him, and he senses me even before I'm close. Observing my wretched state, he smiles slightly and manages a good morning.

"Good morning, Chatot," I reply quietly, and he eyes me with that knowing look of his. I'm too upset to care.

"Not many jobs today," he notes abruptly, as if nothing's wrong. I know that he's trying to distract me, but it's not working in the slightest. "You've done quite a bit lately. Care for a break?"

"I'd rather work," I manage, expecting that to be the correct answer. Rather than commending me, Chatot sighs and ruffles his feathers slightly.

"You-you're still like this," he states out of the blue, like he's tired of avoiding the subject. "So eager to work, even though, though-"

"She's gone," I finish plainly, as if it means nothing to me. I try not to let any emotions show, but it's apparent to Chatot that I'm a mess without her. Apparent to everyone.

A moment of silence ensues, and then I hear Loudred's voice ring through the air, rousing everybody awake. Chimecho meanders groggily through the hall, followed by everybody else. Chatot, with an unusual sadness in his eyes, turns to me and states, quietly:

"You know, she was a heroine. She was a heroine, and nothing less."

Wandering away to face the others, Chatot takes on his usual strict demeanor. I just stand there, unable to move, feeling his words sear through me like flames.

///

After the morning congregation, I wander away to the bulletin boards. There's nothing on either one- the other apprentices have taken every job.

I decide to take a walk for the day, despite the rain. It seems as if it's dwindled down to nothing more than a drizzle, and I can see the faintest bit of sunlight illuminating the sky. Bidoof sets out with me, on his way to complete another assignment.

"You look awful down today," he notes. He doesn't ask the reason why; the answer is so obvious.

We walk together down the front steps of the guild, and Bidoof turns towards the path on the right.

"Good luck," I offer, and he thanks me. We stand together for another second before he states, bluntly,

"Y'know, she wouldn't have wanted you to feel sad. She's still watchin' over you."

I take this with an attempted smile, and Bidoof returns it, fumbling with a response. Finally, he turns to me. "Promise you'll lighten up a bit."

"Promise," I lie weakly, and he nods and walks the other way. I head towards the beach, old memories rising in my mind.

The sand is damp and dark. Clusters of it cling to me as I walk towards the shore, watching as the grey tide rolls in and out. Wingull shriek overhead, and Lapras drifts on the water in the distance. I can't bring myself to look at Lapras- he reminds me of the Hidden Land, and the Hidden Land reminds me of Temporal Tower, and Temporal Tower reminds me that she's gone.

The seawater pools at my feet, and in the next second, it's carried away.

Suddenly, it all comes back to me. The moment I saw her on the beach, the formation of our exploration team, our first mission, our battles, our hopes, our enemies, our friends, our destinies. I'm brought back to the beginning, and I see our journey from start to end. I see her on the shore and feel the excitement. I see her fading away and I feel the agony.

Though she's been lost for months and months now, I feel the loss as sharply as ever. Raindrops cascade down from the ashen sky, as if all heaven is crying for her.

She was enough of a heroine to save the world, I realize then, a bitter sadness enveloping me. Not enough of a heroine to save herself.

The tears are coming again, and by the time the rain stops completely, I've collapsed on the floor, a lost, idiotic mess.

///

The next thing I know, she's in front of me. Vivid and beautiful and real. She nudges me, ever so slightly, and we're so close that we're nearly touching.

I try to say something, but whatever I manage comes out in an incoherent mumble. She doesn't waver, although this is a dream, this is most certainly a dream.

"Please stay," I manage to croak out quietly, and she smiles faintly, silently stretching out on the sand next to me. I can feel the warmth radiating from her, as if she's been in a place that never knew rain, never knew cold or darkness.

"Still the same as ever," she whispers suddenly, with an amazing grin, and I'm transfixed, staring into her eyes. Sunlight is sparkling over the waters of the beach, and the same sunlight glitters in her expression. She reaches a paw out, meaning to touch me, and I let her. The feeling's like electricity, like sparks of pure energy, and I close my eyes, feeling her draw a crooked line across my face.

"So this is real, then?" she manages, her voice breaking. Unsure what to do, I stare at her through half-lidded eyes, unable to phrase an answer. She frowns, a line of worry tugging at her mouth, and draws her paw away. "Or is this a dream?"

I make every effort to stand, and then study her. She's as radiant as she ever has been, and her touch still burns on my face like fire.

"I... I don't know," I finally murmur. "It's an amazingly vivid dream, if it is, and-"

"-And what?" She retaliates, drawing to her feet. The sound of the sea envelops us, and suddenly, the world seems to spin a little faster. My heartbeat accelerates, and she takes a step closer, so close that I can see my reflection mirrored in her eyes.

"And I really hope that this is real," I manage, because it's the only thing I can think of.

The next thing I know, she's tackling me to the ground. Sand flies around us, and I'm startled out of my wits. Suddenly, I'm lost in a frenzy of hugging and collapsing and laughing, and it's just pure euphoria, too real to be a figment of my imagination.

"What is this?" I sputter, and she flings a paw at me, batting me playfully. "This isn't... this isn't-"

"It's been a while," she whispers, her eyes dancing. "An eternity."

"I thought you were-"

"-So did I-"

"-And I was so worried-"

"-I was, too!"

"You never told me-"

"Told you what?" She inquires, finally settling down. She collapses on the sand at my feet, and I follow, snuggling close to her.

"That you'd return."

Taken aback, she pauses a while before murmuring, "I didn't know, either. I thought I was done for."

"Another month without you, and I'd be, too."

"Don't," she reprimands softly, shifting in the sand. "You were getting along fine without me."

"Your definition of 'fine' is way different than mine."

"You lived without me, you idiot," she murmurs affectionately, and nudges me. We're collapsed together, a heap of strangeness, on the shore of the beach. What a weird sight. Without warning, she buries her head in my shoulder, letting it rest there.

It's the closest we've been before, and I find myself blushing uncontrollably. She eyes me with curiosity, as if she knows the reason why.

"We'll have time to talk," she finally determines, shutting her eyes and letting her head drop to the sand. "Lots of time to catch up."

She never really was the lovey-dovey type, anyways, so I let the matter drop and just relax into her. A slight breeze whips across the shore, and the tide lulls us both into a state of relaxation. Bubbles float across the horizon.

"Krabby, out blowing bubbles," I murmur tiredly, and she nods against my shoulder. We're weary, for who-knows-why.

It's as if we just want to be together, be as close as we can, so that nothing can divide us apart again.

Her head snaps up, and I turn, hearing footsteps crunch across the beach. As disappointed as I am to be interrupted, I figure I've been out here long enough.

"It's been a while!" I hear her laugh suddenly. I whip my head around, turning in the direction of the stairs, and I see Bidoof fumbling his way across the sand, a crazy grin threatening to split his face in half.

"You're back!" He keeps repeating, an endearing little squeak in his voice. "You're back, you're back, you're... how?"

She turns to me, and I shrug, not knowing. With a small smile, she addresses Bidoof again, a picture of serenity against the jumping, maniacal guy.

"I honestly have no idea," she answers then, in a cheerful tone I know she's using to cover up a lie. "It's unbelievable."

"Maybe this guy here willed you back, eh?" Bidoof laughs, turning to me. "He missed you a lot."

She turns to me with a radiant smile, and I'm too flustered to speak.

///

After everyone at the guild's said their hellos and welcomed her back, she collapses, worn out, onto the bed that used to be hers.

"You've kept it neat," she remarks gently, curling up into the straw. "Even though I was gone."

I don't answer, just let her settle into the bedding. Finally, she speaks, turning her gaze to me.

"You know, I lied," she murmurs, resting her head on her arms. "Today on the beach. When Bidoof asked me how I was able to come back..." She sighs softly. "I did know why. I just thought that only you could understand."

My suspicions confirmed, I sprawl onto my bed and turn my full attention to her. "How did it happen, then? And where were you sent to?"

Her expression softens. "Apparently, the deity of time took pity on you," she responds. "Took pity on us."

"Dialga? But why?"

"Because we saved the world," she murmurs wearily. "And his home. He owed us something."

She shifts in her bed until she's curled on her side, staring at the wall. I walk over and stand at her side, watching her contemplate something.

"You know," she finally starts, her eyes resting on me. "I wanted to come back more than anything. Even though I had Grovyle and Celebi there to keep me company, nonexistence was lonely. After everything we had been through..." She turns away, not used to sentiments. "I did miss you, really."

"So did I," I offer, and she nods, already well aware.

"Right. The thing is," she murmurs, her eyes still averted. "The things I did with you were more than what I could've done as a human. I got to go places, and see things. I got a taste of all this and had it snatched away." She shrugs, as if it doesn't matter anymore. "It killed me. Literally, I guess."

I smile, though the situation hardly calls for it. She faces me with a calm look in her eyes, and returns it.

"I'm glad I'm back," she whispers, shifting in her bed to face me. "Being with you again."

I'm rendered absolutely speechless, watching as she grins at me and settles into sleep, her eyelids fluttering with bliss.

///

I can hardly sleep again, and it's not because of sadness or anything. It's because she's there again, picturesque and perfect, rising and falling with every breath she takes.

I wonder if it's all an illusion, a dream. If it is, and I wake up to an empty bed, the pain will be too much to bear. Yet, something inside tells me that she's here to stay. Forever. Never to leave again.

The morning's events feel like a lifetime ago, and it's as if the agony of losing her is just a long-ago memory. I watch her sleep, and some unknown emotion fills me with a quiet kind of peace. I don't know if I have the courage to face her, to tell her exactly how much she means to me, but I figure it's something that can wait. I have tomorrow, and the day after, and the rest of my life to figure out my feelings, and I have until the end of our time to spend with her.

I find myself remembering Chatot's words. She's a heroine, of course, the bravest Pokemon I've ever known. She saved the world.

With a calm happiness in my heart, I realize that she's saved me, too.

Author's Note: Friendshipping, or the leader's relationship with his or her partner, is simply adorable. In the game, it's as if everything your partner says to you suggests that you two are more than friends. Since my hero's a girl and my partner's a guy, well, it's more endearing than awkward!

In my game, the heroine's a Mudkip and the partner's a Turtwig. Here, though, I tried to make it unclear as to what types of Pokemon the heroine and partner would be, just so it could apply to any set of friends. After all, each duo is adorable in their own right.

I miss Grovyle and the shiny Celebi, though. They were pretty awesome... I might write about them later on.

In any case, thanks for reading. PMD2 is turning into my new obsession, though I bet that'll change by the release of Platinum!