LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

(After the debacle in Headmaster Charleston's office)

xxx

"Tea?" Jess asked, waving a tea bag in front of Rory's face, pretending to hypnotize her.

Rory pinched the tea bag to stop it from dangling. "You're not funny."

"Oh, now, hypnosis is a highly respectable form of psychology," Jess insisted. "Look it up."

"Oh, yeah? And what would you hypnotize me into doing?" Rory challenged. The moment the words left her lips, she was convinced she had made a terrible mistake. Jess didn't really filter his thoughts, just said the first thing that popped into his mind, and she was a bit wary of what that initial reaction might be.

He smiled cockily, and Rory began to roll her eyes. "Easy," he insisted, eyes boring into hers. "I'd convince you to drink tea."

Rory let out a nervous laugh of relief. "That's it? You'd waste your power of hypnosis on tea?"

Jess shrugged. "Do you like tea?"

"No."

"Well, there you have it."

"Not following..."

Jess smirked. "You don't like tea, but I'd convince you to drink it. You'd hate it the entire time you were swallowing it, yet you'd have to drink it anyway."

"You're good," Rory nodded.

"It's the subtle things in life," he insisted.

"Jess?"

"Yes?"

"I'm afraid if you don't put some coffee in this empty cup and stop harassing me with threatening tea bags, I'm may do something rash."

"Rash?"

"Yup. And sometimes, when people get angry, they blackout and can't control what they do," Rory reported.

"Huh," Jess nodded. "You suffer from rage blackouts?"

Rory shook her head. "Oh, no. I don't suffer. The people who interfere with my coffee do."

"Ahhh," he purred.

Rory frowned. Her cup was still empty. "I'm telling you, I don't even remember what I do! I could...uh..." she gazed around, "shake pepper in your eye!" she finished.

Jess fought the laughter tugging at him and managed to simply grin. "You'd assault me with pepper?"

"Oh, not just any pepper," Rory said smugly. "Red pepper."

"Red pepper?"

"It would burn," she insisted.

Jess shook his head in amusement and refilled her cup. "Here, wouldn't want you attacking my condiments," he muttered.

Rory glared. "It would sting," she urged.

"I'm sure it would."

"Don't humor me," she insisted, sipping her coffee. "I had a very rough day."

"Oh?"

Rory nodded, putting down her coffee. "How would you like to be woken up at five a.m. by a crazed group of bimbo freaks ready to take you to an undisclosed location?"

Jess grinned.

Rory scowled. "Right, you're a guy."

"Bimbo freaks?" Jess asked. "Now how freaky are we talking, here? Does one of them have a robotic leg or something? Or do they just compulsively apply lipstick every hour on the hour?"

"Shoo," Rory muttered, waving him away.

"Was one of them named Stacey?" he asked. "Bimbo freaks are almost always named Stacey."

"No, now go," she remarked, trying not to laugh.

"Oh, right, you go to that pricey school," Jess recalled. "So, Belinda? No, too middle-classy. Cecilia. I bet there was a Cecilia."

Rory tossed a sugar packet at him.

Jess blinked at her in surprise.

"I tried to warn you," Rory began. "The condiments are on my side."

xxx

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