DISCLAIMER: I do not own CCS.

Kaho has been diagnosed with a heart condition and she has only one wish for Touya who she must leave behind – that he be happy even when she's gone. But who could take her place in his heart. Who could make him smile through the toughest times he has ahead and make him want to love again when everything tells him to hang up his hat and die.

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow." ~ James Dean.

Live Forever, Die Tomorrow - Time

Touya Kinomoto sat in the waiting room thinking back to how it had all started, how he had gotten to this point in his life. How could he be sitting here in a hospital hoping something would happen to him? Willing to sacrifice his unborn son for just a few more years with her?

It all started so many years ago in an unexpected way, meeting Kaho when she was his student teacher of all things, in his last year of middle school. He had fallen hard, he had fallen fast, and then she was gone and he was heart broken.

But then she came back. When she left she had said that he shouldn't be sad, because she wasn't meant to be his 'one true love', but neither of them had believed it. And when she returned it was as though she had never left. The two of them had picked off where they left off; only both of them were older and wiser for the time apart.

Touya was much more cautious with his heart, unconsciously holding a little bit back for a rainy day. Something inside told him that she would leave him, one day, and that he would need that piece if he really wanted to go on without her. So he saved that piece of him, and Kaho would never know.

They got married – a simple ceremony in spite of Tomoyo and Sakura's attempts to make it as huge and extravagant as possible. He was nineteen when he married Kaho, his senior by nine years. Many said he was too young, but now he only wished that he had married her sooner; his only regret was every moment they ever spent apart.

His time was limited now. He never realised that their time together had such a short expiry date, but he could sense the end looming in the distance.

The problem first started eight months ago, when Kaho got pregnant. Really it was more like six months ago, because the first two months of the pregnancy were fine; perfect even. They were both so happy; they were going to start a family and it felt like nothing could possibly bring them down.

But then, round about the two month mark, Kaho was teaching and she fainted in the middle of her lesson for no reason. They both thought it would be fine – Kaho hadn't been keeping much food down so they just assumed it was low blood sugar, but they went to the doctor to see what he had to say about things. Kaho had a heart condition and before them stood a man in a white coat telling them that he strongly recommended they terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible before any further complications occurred.

They argued about it for weeks. Kaho refused point blank. She valued a child's life above her own. Her high moral standards insisted that the life of a child was more precious than anything else – she had lived a life. She had loved, she had lost, she had done everything she had set out to do in her life; but a child hadn't had the opportunity to live.

Touya was selfish. He knew he was selfish, but he wasn't ready to lose her and he told her that in no uncertain terms. If there was something he could do to keep her with him forever, he would do it.

But Kaho won, and that was why they were there.

"Mr. Kinomoto?" the doctor questioned as he walked into the waiting room. He had obviously changed, but still smelt faintly of blood. That was not encouraging.

Touya nodded, and walked up to question the doctor.

He looked sorrowful. "I'm so sorry Mr. Kinomoto," the doctor intoned, "we lost the baby."

Touya froze. He wasn't sure what to feel anymore. He felt guilty for his previous thoughts, but his anxiety over the other patient seemed to quell that for now. 'They lost the baby?' he thought to himself. 'But what about Kaho?'

"There was nothing we could do," the doctor continued, misunderstanding the look on Touya's face. "It was going to kill the both of them so we had to terminate the foetus," he said in a very clinical way. "You're wife is in recovery."

"C-can I see her?" Touya asked, a rush of relief running through him.

The doctor nodded as he led Touya to Kaho's room. "There were a few things we discovered during the surgery," the doctor said uncertainly as he opened the door, "but I'll come talk to you later when you're both feeling more up to it."

Touya just nodded as he moved to his wife's side. He sighed as he took hold of her hand. "Kaho," he whispered sadly. "I know how much you wanted this, but if it means having you in my life, then it's a pain we must both endure."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her eyes closed. "I should have . . ."

"It's ok," he replied. "Just sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow. We have more time then we expected."

"Tomorrow . . ."

~*©*~

"Mr and Mrs. Kinomoto," the doctor said slowly, looking at them both from behind his desk.

Touya recognised that look. It was the same look the first doctor had given them when he told them to abort the baby. It was a sort of mixture of pity, and anguish – like the doctor's own heart was breaking. Not for them of course – don't misuderstand me here, because he was a man of medicine first a foremost, and science and medicine and everything he believed in had turned his back on them. His anguish was for science, because science had failed once again.

Touya couldn't understand. There couldn't be anymore bad news. His wife was dying and he had just lost his son – what could be worse than that?

The doctor took a deep breath as h shuffled papers on his desk. "The, uh, surgery yesterday," he said vaguely, dancing around the point he was trying to make, "it revealed that your . . . condition, Mrs. Kinomoto, is far more serious than anticipated. We've put you on the list," he said allusively, "and you'll have to wear this pager wherever you go."

He pushed the pager across the desk and met Touya's eye briefly.

'This is it,' Touya thought to himself. 'This is the bit where he tells us how much time we have?'

"As I'm sure you're both aware," the doctor said, looking down at his paper's once again, "your blood type is O negative - it is quite rare so the chances of a replacement heart are quite slim, but due to our discoveries you have been placed at the top of the list." He coughed, as though to force the next words out of his throat before continuing, "I'm sorry to say this, but without a replacement heart, your chances are very slim."

"How slim?" Kaho asked, not even crying. She looked at him determinedly as she held tightly onto Touya's hand. "How long do we have?"

The doctor took another deep breath. "Six months," he replied slowly and agonisingly. "Maybe less, maybe more . . . but probably less."

Kaho gasped and dropped Touya's hand.

"I'll leave you two alone," the doctor said awkwardly, "there are some pamphlets on the back wall if it helps," he offered pathetically as he swiftly exited the office.

"Six months," Kaho repeated, her eyes unfocused as she tried to analyze the words.

"Maybe more," Touya told her, sounding sure and optimistic.

"Probably less," she replied, her voice low and unfeeling.

"We've still got options," Touya rallied, still optimistic. "We could go get a second opinion, see a specialist, maybe even a naturopath. There are alternatives. We still have time."

"Time," she replied shaking her head, "is the one thing we don't have."

~ to be continued ~

I suspect that this may just be the absolute strangest way to start a TouyaxNakuru fic, but this is how I'm starting it. I know I'm taking a rather extreme position in killing off the competition (not the main competition, but competition all the same), but I swear it's a plot device and nothing more. So if you're gonna flame me, let it be for something else because the story doesn't work as well if she's not dying.

Sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed or awkward - the first few chapters are really just setting the scene so they aren't high action or drama. Please review.