A/N: Long time, no see! Thanks to Frayedsoul, Crimsonswirls, iluvtoady, loki lee, and niwa-k for reviews! I love hearing from you, and am glad you're enjoying this story, even if the updates are a little slow.

Point to clarify in advance: The gang grew up in Twilight Town, not Destiny Islands. Hence, there would be snow.

I love the flashback scene in this chapter. I just...I have fun writing scenes like this. Anyway, continue for some Riku angsting, some Sora cute-ing, some more angsting, some, er, Broadway references, and Riku and Roxas finding out that they do indeed have things in common.

---

3 - Friends?

Riku was the first one to wake up that morning. Roxas was still sleeping soundly, sprawled out on the couch with a blanket pulled up to his chest, and Riku had to stop and think about how the other man had gotten there. It didn't take long to remember, and Riku pressed his hand to his forehead, recalling his last coherent thought of the previous night: Well, let him stay there. I paid for the damn bed, and I'm going to sleep in it. There's not enough room for both of us to sleep on the sofa.

Well, that had been an almost practical rationale, although he knew he was only using it as a front. He didn't want to touch Roxas, now, knowing who he was. Casual, no-strings-attached sex was fine—almost—it really shouldn't have been, should it?—but Riku didn't like the blond and certainly didn't trust him. And he was only able to trick himself into thinking it was Sora so many times before he started noticing too many differences, like, obviously, the length of Roxas' hair, or the feel of his skin, or…

Like, hello. This was Roxas.

Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled into the shower, blasted some frigid water into his face and washed his hair, then stumbled out again, toweling himself dry. He pulled on a pair of jeans, a black wifebeater, and a white sweatshirt, brushed out his hair a bit, then sat on the edge of his bed, cradling his head in his hands. God, his life was so fucked up. What had he done to deserve feeling this bloody awful?

Screwed his best friend's brother, actually. But that had only partially been his fault. Really.

Riku sighed. Well, might as well get Roxas going. That might take awhile.

He crossed the room and knelt by the side of the couch, reaching out to gently shake Roxas' shoulder. The blond blinked sleepily, then groaned and threw his arm over his eyes. "Goddammit, Riku, close the fucking blinds."

"You're not hung-over," Riku snapped, feeling his patience ebb. "Don't pretend you are."

Roxas removed his arm and, with an annoying little smirk, said, "Oh, good. That was inconvenient. Come here."

He didn't offer Riku much of a choice, pressing him closer and forcing him into a sloppy, early morning kiss, and at the time it didn't feel awful, but it didn't feel like much of anything else, either, and Riku didn't want to think about it all day so he pushed Roxas back and said, "No."

"Why not?"

"Because," Riku said firmly, standing. "I don't want to."

"Hum. You seemed to want to yesterday." Roxas stood, wrapping the blanket around his waist, then stopping to stare at it. "This wasn't here when I fell asleep. Thanks."

Riku looked away. "You're Sora's brother. He'd be angry with me if you froze to death. And then I'd have to explain what you were doing naked in my hotel room."

"That would be awkward. Or maybe…" Roxas coyly placed a kiss at the corner of Riku's mouth. "You do care. Just a bit."

"No. It doesn't mean I like you. It just means I want to avoid controversy." Riku scowled. "I'm going to get some breakfast, do you want anything?"

"Mmm…black coffee. And some fruit. But I'll meet you out there." And, just to be contrary, he kissed Riku again before heading into the bathroom, humming to himself.

Roxas had to be insane. There really was no other explanation for it.

Sighing, Riku made his way out to the complementary continental breakfast—fairly generic hotel fare—and grabbed a copy of the newspaper to read out of boredom and morbid curiosity. He wondered vaguely what time it was and then decided he didn't care, and toasted himself an English muffin. He must have been glaring, though, or scowling, or something. There was a teenage girl sitting at a table who was giving him a funny look. But then he scowled in her direction, and she blushed and looked away.

Jesus. So she was checking him out? Of all of the things he didn't need right then, it was another dig. And she hadn't meant any harm, but Riku was just tired of being looked at and used and never with any real purpose. He shook his head and removed the English muffin from the toaster, shuffling dejectedly back to his seat and burying his nose in the newspaper.

A few minutes later he heard "Morning, sunshine," and desperately wanted to disappear.

Roxas slid into the seat across from him, coffee cup and bagel in hand. "Hey, don't look like that," he said, smiling, teasing. "I promise, the nonconsensual harassment is done for today."

Riku raised an eyebrow. "You're in a good mood."

The blond shrugged, taking a bite of the bagel. "I like being able to remember the previous night. Especially when I've—"

"Jesus Christ, Roxas, keep your voice down!"

"No one cares," Roxas said, rolling his eyes, setting his coffee cup down on the table so he could rest his head on his hand and look up at Riku with those bright blue eyes. The man shouldn't be allowed to be this attractive. He really shouldn't. "Anyway, yes, I'm glad you could tell I was acting. I wasn't sure if you would sleep with me sober, and I didn't know if you would let me come onto you like that. I'm glad you did. It feels better than getting drunk."

Riku ran a hand through his hair, only mildly irritated now. Mostly amused. "Drinking and fucking. You've carved out some healthy options for yourself, haven't you?"

Roxas shrugged again. "One is much healthier than the other, as far as I can tell, and more fun, but that one also requires more effort and someone to do it with. Besides, they're both temporary solutions. And speaking of nothing," he rushes before Riku can cut in, "Sora and Kairi want to know if we'll make it back in time for dinner. Think we will?"

It's almost stopped being funny that Sora's name, even flung out so casually, has a visible effect on Riku. He knows it does. He feels himself freeze in the middle of folding the newspaper up. "Dinner? Tonight?"

"Yes, tonight. I told Sora we'd be able to make it but I'd double check with you." Apparently noting the expression on Riku's face, Roxas offered him a sarcastic smile. "Come on, don't look like that. You've been able to live with this infatuation of yours for years without jumping his bones. Barely anything has changed."

"It's not an infatuation," Riku muttered. "And, I'm not sure if you've noticed, he's getting married."

"Oh, come on. They were practically married anyway." Roxas shook his head. "I never understood Sora and Kairi. They were always off in their own little world. I mean, they sort of let you into it, but no one else had any idea what the fuck was going on with them. No one's…like that, you know? Not that…"

He'd been about to say "Not that young," Riku could tell, but he'd thought better of it. Maybe because his relationship with Axel had given him a different perspective. "I don't think this is the right place to talk about it," Riku said slowly.

Roxas stood up, wiping his mouth on his wrist. "No, it's not, it's really not. Look, I've got stuff to pack up. I'll meet you at the car."

"Alright."

Riku doesn't mind being left alone, so he returns to his room, but finds that he has very little to pack, and sighs. God, he doesn't want to think about Sora. He doesn't. He—

Somehow, whenever he starts like that, it's always too late to stop.

---

Sora was thirteen and Riku couldn't stop looking at him.

He wasn't really sure why. Sora hadn't really changed at all. He'd grown a bit, but that's normal for thirteen. He hadn't gotten a haircut. His face was exactly the same. He was wearing the same baggy pants as usual, only this time with large yellow rubber boots and a poofy red snow coat his mom had picked out for him, probably. His wild brown hair was sticking out from all directions under his hat. He looked awkward and young and silly, and Riku couldn't stop looking at him, and he didn't know why.

And Sora wasn't doing anything special, either. He was just trying to catch snowflakes with his tongue, like he'd done for years, whenever it snowed. He would always run up and down the streets of Twilight Town, trying to catch snowflakes with his tongue, usually falling flat on his face, and Riku, a year older and infinitely wiser, would be ashamed to be seen with him.

On the contrary, Riku was staring. And it might have been because of the way the streetlamps at that time of night gave Sora a bit of a halo in Riku's snow-clouded eyes, or the way his breath fogged out in froth of his face, or the way that Sora insisted on going after those snowflakes with his eyes squeezed shut, which truthfully didn't make any sense at all. Riku had always belittled him for that.

But Riku couldn't, and didn't, that night, so he simply walked next to Sora with his hands in his pockets and pretended that he wasn't staring as Sora bounded after the snow like some overeager puppy.

Of course, this didn't always work. The pretending, that was.

"What?"

Riku blinked. "Huh?"

"You keep staring at me." Sora grinned. "I knew this coat was stupid. I look like a clown, right?"

"Actually, you have snow on your nose," Riku said, reaching out with a gloved hand to brush it off. "Here, let me—"

Sora smacked his hand away. "What am I, six? There." He batted the snow off of his nose. "Now stop looking at me, you creep."

Riku gave a relieved half-laugh, half-sigh. Truthfully, he thought he might have melted if he'd touched Sora right then, like the tiny snowflake which had landed on Sora's cheek, just below his bright, blue eye, framed with those stupid girly lashes. It was frustrating. It was stupid to think that way about Sora. Sora was Sora. What was wrong with him?

What was wrong with him?

Whap.

Something very cold hit the back of his neck with blinding speed. Riku put a hand up and came away with snow on his fingertips.

"I told you not to stare at me!" Sora fairly squealed, his cheeks colored from the cold. "I told you, I—"

"Oh," Riku said, a grin spreading across his face, "You are so dead."

He knelt down to pick up snow of his own, packing it with purpose, deploying it with deadly force. Sora ducked just as Riku threw it and tore off down the street as quickly as he could in those silly yellow boots and six inches of crunchy white snow, fearing, no doubt, for his life. Riku gave chase. What sort of friend would he be if he didn't?

They ran along the street, which sloped gently into a hill, back in the direction of Riku's house, where they were both spending the break. Sora's parents were taking something ridiculous like a second honeymoon and spending two weeks in Destiny Islands. Accordingly, there was no one to protect Sora, nowhere for him to hide besides behind a couple of snowdrifts which could be easily knocked over.

"If you kill me," Sora called, dodging another well-aimed snowball and pausing to turn and feebly aim one of his own, "You're not getting any of my stuff. Like my money. Or my Game Boy. I know you want my Game Boy, Riku!"

"Or those stuffed animals you sleep with?"

"They are not stuffed animals!"

"Once you're dead I can say, 'Look, Kairi, he slept with these. Aren't you glad you didn't end up going out with him?'"

"Shut up!" A snowball hit Sora square in the back. He kept running, but he was slowing now, and Riku, the predator, saw his chance.

"And then she'll look at me and say, 'Oh, Riku, I was making such a mistake! What did I ever see in that boy?'"

"Riku! Stop it!"

"And then we'll get married and have lots of children, and all because I happened to kill you one—"

Sora whirled around, no doubt with the intent to lob more snow at Riku's face, but he'd misjudged Riku's speed and instead ended up lying face-up, in the snow, with Riku's hands on his shoulders, pinning him down. "No fair," he said, pushing ineffectually at Riku's arms. "Riku, no fair! You're older than me!"

"Too bad," Riku said, grinning. "You messed up my hair. Now you must die."

"No! Puh-lease!" Sora squirmed. "I'm too young to die!"

"I know. It's kind of sad." Riku planted his elbow in the snow just next to Sora's left ear and leaned his head on his hand. "Now, the question is…how to kill you."

And he surely would have continued along this line of intimidating and threatening Sora, which never ceased to be a source of amusement, except for the rather distracting thought of Hey, look, our noses are only inches apart. And Riku wasn't sure exactly why that thought was so distracting. It certainly shouldn't have been. It wasn't as if Sora's nose was particularly interesting. Not even that cute little smattering of freckles across it. And, wait, cute? What?

Something was surely wrong with him. Sora did not deserve to be thought about like this. He was Sora, and Sora was normal. And also male. And Riku didn't like guys. He liked girls. He knew this because he had never kissed guys. He only kissed girls. And really only a couple of them, despite what he'd told Sora. And that had been…fine. What, was kissing supposed to come with sparks and fireworks and shit like that? No! Sparks and fireworks and things like that were not manly. Like stomachs doing flips were not manly either. And his stomach was certainly doing flips now. And he hadn't even kissed Sora yet.

But why the hell was he thinking about kissing Sora? He didn't kiss guys, although he vaguely remembered being at this point with all of the girls he'd ever kissed, the point where yes, he was inches from her face and he could see everything written on her face, just before he closed his eyes and leaned in. Girls' faces were never perfect like they were supposed to be, really: they always had a couple of zits or eyes which weren't quite the same size or funny-shaped noses, up close. Sora's face wasn't perfect either, but it was certainly closer. His eyes were the same size, at least, and very, very pretty, and currently looking very annoyed at Riku.

But, really, Riku shouldn't be thinking like this at all, and he searched desperately for something, anything really, to think about and his eyes fell on a little bit of Sora's skin on his neck which wasn't quite covered by his face and had turned raw and pink from the cold, and he'd really be doing Sora a favor if he covered that with something. Like maybe his mouth.

And, suddenly, Riku found himself lying on his back, the world flipped upside down, with Sora sitting on his stomach, his arms crossed, looking very, very satisfied with himself.

"Wha—" Riku began.

"You let your guard down," Sora explained. "Just for a second, really. But that was all I needed." He leaned forward, just a bit. "I am like a viper," he added, conspiratorially.

Riku laughed, but nervously, because Sora, with his knobby knees and awkward hands, was definitely not like a viper at all, but also because something in Sora's voice had made him shiver, but not from the cold, and then—with a panicked Ohgodnothisissowrong—he noticed something which shouldn't have been there at all.

It was rather fortunate that Sora's hips were not just a bit lower, he thought dimly, because otherwise Sora would have noticed, too, and that would have been fairly difficult to explain.

Where was this coming from? Any of this? Riku wasn't gay. He'd…well, truthfully, it wasn't that he hadn't thought so. It wasn't even if he hadn't considered the possibility, before. It was just that he wasn't. He couldn't be. And especially not for Sora. Sora was Sora.

But then again, hadn't this been coming for awhile? Had he ever really found girls interesting or really even all that attractive at all? And hadn't he always worked to tease Sora to make him smile, or even just to get his attention? Because Sora's smile was, had always been, really, really butterfly-worthy. One of few things that were worthy of anything at all.

"You're staring again," Sora huffed.

"It's not my fault," Riku muttered, wondering what the most expedient way to get Sora off of him might be. "You're blocking my view."

"Yes, well, stop. You're making me nervous."

"Nervous?" Riku repeated, feeling very strongly that Sora deserved to have the living daylights kissed out of him just for the innocence in that remark, because he really had no idea about any of the thoughts which were running through Riku's head or through various other parts of his body. "I'm making you nervous? You're the one who has me pinned."

"Yes," Sora said again. "I do. But—"

A snowball came out of nowhere—thank God—and caught Sora upside the back of the head, completely preventing him from saying whatever it was he was going to say. He cried out, though not entirely unhappily, and looked up and behind him, a grin splitting his face. "Kairi!"

Riku's entire body turned to ice, and all he could think was Jesus, God, she can see all of me, please don't let her notice anything. But he could tell that she hadn't, at least, not yet, because her eyes sparkled with the same oblivious innocence as Sora's as she said, "Hey guys, what are you doing?"

"Beating the shit out of each other," Riku said casually. "What else?"

"Riku!" Sora exclaimed. "We were doing something much…better than beating each other up, Kai, I promise."

"Lies," said Riku. "Can I get up now?"

Kairi giggled. "Looks like Sora won."

"It won't happen again. Sora, get off and go make snow angels with Kairi or paint your nails or something. I'm tired."

Sora rolled his eyes, but obliged, and, while Riku puzzled how he could possibly get up without either of them noticing. He sat up and drew his knees in a bit while Sora said to Kairi, "I don't really paint my nails. Just so you know."

"I know," said Kairi, giving him a small smile. Something gnawed at the pit of Riku's stomach, but he ignored it. Or tried. Really, something clawing at your stomach is pretty difficult to ignore. "You know, snow angels sound like fun. Riku, are you up for it, or are you 'too tired?'" She used air quotes and everything.

"Snow angels sound like fun," Riku replied, "if you're six. You two go ahead. I'm going inside."

"He's just a sore loser," Sora explained. "Race you to the field?"

Kairi nodded. "'Kay. Count of three? One, two—"

And they were off. And Riku was grateful for the distance for about thirty seconds, until they slowed down, laughing, just before they reached the end of the block, and Sora made a slight, clumsy grab for Kairi's hand. And Kairi didn't pull it away, or hit Sora with another snowball, or anything. She just let him hold her hand. And then the clawing thing was back again.

This really…this was very, very bad. Terrible. Shit. Riku put his head on his snow-soaked knees and groaned.

Whatever was happening here, it couldn't end well.

That was, if it ended at all.

---

Roxas was singing. It wasn't awful, since Roxas had an excellent ear for pitch and a pretty good voice, but the problem was what he was singing.

"Will you please," Riku said, trying desperately to keep his eyes on the road, "shut the fuck up! I will crash this car, Roxas, I swear. And I will also conveniently forget to turn on the passenger airbag."

"Calm down," Roxas said, grinning boyishly. Riku was reminded that Roxas had been a normal kid, once. For about three seconds. "I can't believe I didn't notice your satellite radio before!"

"Yes. I have one. It's very exciting. Will you switch off the fucking Broadway channel before I'm forced to commit vehicular homicide?"

Roxas put his hand to his heart rather dramatically. "I'm wounded. I don't actually like this junk, you know. You're just startlingly easy to annoy.

"And yet you know all of the words."

"I played pit orchestra for Damn Yankees in high school. Oboe, remember? So this is nostalgia. It was hilarious watching Kairi seduce that…what's his name, from what I could see of it. Sora must have been furious."

Riku had nothing to say to that. Sora was much too kind to be furious. Sora, who didn't have a dramatic bone in his entire body, had watched and grinned and clapped from the audience and said "It's just acting, Riku" when Riku pointed out that his girlfriend was up on stage in lingerie. It was incredibly vexing.

"All of Kairi's little drama friends kept telling her how lucky she was to have a straight boyfriend who likes musicals. Really, Sora's just tone deaf enough to stand them, and he'll like whatever Kairi likes." Roxas hummed a bar or two. "Stupid show tunes always get stuck in your head."

"Roxas." Riku concentrated very, very intently on the road. "I'm well aware of what Sora likes and what he doesn't. He was sort of my best friend."

"Really? And here I thought you just wanted him for his body."

"You're obscene."

"Glad you noticed." Then Roxas began to sing again, low and casual. "Don't you know you can't win? You're no exception to the rule. I'm irresistible, you fool! Give in…"

Riku batted off the hand which had slowly crept onto his arm. "Look, fine. You can keep the Broadway, but don't seduce me while I'm driving. I'd like to get to Sora's place alive."

Roxas sighed, putting his feet up on the dashboard again. "You're no fun. In all honesty, I've done worse to people while they were driving, and they've lived."

"Too much information. Thanks."

"I didn't say what." Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Unless you'd like to know. Or find out firsthand."

"I can imagine." Riku shook his head. "You're going to drive me insane with this manic-depressive stuff. Did you take your pills today?"

Roxas snorted and leaned back in his seat. "Really. You're a charmer. I'm surprised Sora hasn't thrown himself at you." He hummed along with the music again. "And it's your fault I'm so happy. I really like the prospect of spending my nights sober and—" He gave Riku a meaningful look. "—with company. It's good to have a friend."

"I. Am. Not." Riku bit off the end of every word. He couldn't stress it enough. "Your friend. As soon as we get to Sora's I'm dumping you in a hotel and not looking at you again until the wedding."

Frustratingly enough, the blond waved him off. "Not my friend, then. But even so, you're much too involved to turn back now."

"I am not. People have casual sexual encounters all of the time. I know, Roxas. It means nothing."

"I know what you think you know. Just watch. The minute I call you, you'll be back." And before Riku could retort, Roxas leaned forward, his good mood half-dissipated, and muttered, "You're right. This is a shitty song. We should change the channel. To hell with Broadway."

And when Roxas leaned forward, just then, Riku noticed the sunlight in his' hair and groaned, because he knew that, yes, however much he hated Roxas, he would be back. Whatever this was, it was much too interesting to stop.

---

They drove for hours and arrived in Twilight Town just before nightfall, and Riku was tempted to drive straight home—and deny Roxas' requests to let him crash on Riku's couch, or in his bed—but Roxas reminded him of their date with Sora and Kairi, and Riku had to sigh and give in. (Give in…then the drums…give in…stupid song) So he drove them both to Sora's apartment, albeit reluctantly. He was, accordingly, the victim of many, many unforgiving smirks from Roxas' direction.

Sora and Kairi still lived separately. They had always lived separately, and they were going to live separately until they got married, at which point Sora would move in with Kairi. Her apartment was cleaner. Riku, was, unfortunately, privy to all of this information, and had to share it with Roxas.

"You're kidding," Roxas said. "So they still haven't—"

"No," Riku said shortly. "No they have not."

Roxas whistled. "How long have they been dating? Like eight years? I always thought that stupid chastity pact of theirs would fall through."

Riku looked away. "It's…a personal choice. I mean, if it were because of religious pressures I could sort of see…but…"

"But they just decided that they wanted to wait until marriage. Yes, I know," Roxas said. "It's so frustrating. Riku, how can you stand even being around them?"

For a moment, there was no other sound in the car than the jazz music which Roxas had turned on awhile ago. Then, Riku said softly, "You're jealous."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Of those two? No way in hell."

"You are." Riku swallowed. He hadn't said this to anyone. He hadn't ever intended to. "You are. I am. They're happy. Roxas, they love each other. I've never known what that's like. Not…like they do."

There was silence from the passenger seat. Riku looked over at Roxas expectantly. He'd mellowed out in the past couple of hours. Now he just sat there, staring out the window. "I did," he said. "I told you I did." Then, after a moment or two, he added, "You stopped the car."

"I did. We're here. This is his building."

"Alright." Roxas turned to Riku with a small, almost sympathetic smile on his face, and he undid his seatbelt so he could lean out of the seat. "Cheer up, emo kid," he said, kissing Riku on the cheek. "You're a good guy at heart."

Riku smiled weakly in return. "And what about you? Bad guy at heart?"

Roxas laughed bitterly. "What heart?"

"And you say I'm the emo one." Riku brushed Roxas' hair out of his eyes. He and Sora did have that one thing in common, although the eyelashes which framed Roxas' eyes were fine, light brown. "Alright. Come here."

He closed the distance between them. He liked the way Roxas almost pretended he was someone special when they kissed, the way he closed those pretty blue eyes of his and reached out to touch Riku's face. It made Riku wonder whether he'd had a lot of experience pretending, or maybe just a lot of experience with kissing someone he liked so he thought that was how it should go, the little touches and the warmth. After all, for years, Roxas had only been with Axel. He'd have to ask Roxas why…why they'd broken up, sometime.

Riku pulled back. Roxas glanced at his hand, the one which had been resting on the armrest between their seats and saw that it had instinctively curled around Riku's free hand, and between his fingers, and he made to pull it back. Riku, for the first time, felt the slightest bit of pity. Roxas looked like he'd accidentally revealed the tiniest part of his soul. After all, this was the first time they'd kissed, really kissed, out of a certain context, either before or after sex.

But there was that obnoxious Roxas, the one who liked pushing Riku's buttons, and then there was this one. It was funny, really; in this Roxas Riku could see the shadow of a boy he once vaguely knew.

"Keep it," Riku said softly, looking at Roxas' hand. "It's alright."

"God," Roxas said, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand to hide the glimmer of tears. "I am such a sap. I miss Axel." He looked up at Riku. "Forget about this. It won't happen again. So…are we friends?"

Riku considered it. "We…have a lot in common."

"Yeah." Roxas laughed again. "Shit."

"Hey, Riku? Is that you in there?"

Riku physically jumped. In fact, he jumped so high he bumped his head on the roof of the car. Roxas burst out laughing, sympathy evaporated. "Jesus, is it always that bad?"

"Worse." Riku rubbed the top of his head. "Ow. Holy fuck, I hope he didn't see us." Roxas was about to ask why, and Riku held up a finger and whispered, "He doesn't know I'm gay. And you're his brother. Even Sora can put two and two together, so keep quiet."

"Mum's the word." But Roxas was grinning again. "Can he really? The last time I was here he was still getting five."

"Oh, you just shut up." And with that, Riku stepped out of the car and put on his well-rehearsed casual face. "Hey, Sor. How've you been?"

---