Disclaimer: Because when the sun shines, we shine together :D

Rating: Now officially T!

Warnings: Hints of man-love, abysmally short chapters, and weirdness :D

Spoilers: BLARGH.

"So..." Kankurou muttered, his brow creased, "let me get this straight. You told Lee you hate him, almost killed him again, and... and then you told him to call you 'Gaara'?"

Gaara nodded and said, his voice choked, "I don't understand, Kankurou. He said my name, and I..." Gaara clenched his fist in his hair and turned away, frustrated with his own inability to understand. "No one has ever said my name like that. What am I...?"

Kankurou cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable. "Umm... How, exactly, did he say your name?"

"Gaara-sama," Gaara murmured. It sounded throaty and harsh and filled with nothing less than utter loathing; it sounded nothing like Lee. Gaara shook his head minimally and tried again, "Gaara-sama..."

Kankurou ran a finger along the rim of his glass when he said, "No offense, but that doesn't really sound like Lee."

Gaara frowned. "...I know..."

"So... remind me what the point of this was?" Kankurou asked. Gaara looked up at Kankurou suspiciously. "Not that I don't like talking to you or anything..." he added quickly.

Though he did not have a taste for the overly dramatic, Gaara sighed. "It's just so..." Angered, he tugged at his hair. "I want to understand this, Kankurou..."

Kankurou's discomfort was clear in his voice when he said apprehensively, "Look, Gaara... Just... Just think about how it made you feel..."

The crease in Gaara's brow deepened. "I've tried. It's why I came to you; I can't figure it out."

"Okay," Kankurou said, nodding to himself. "Okay. Do you think you might like him?"

Gaara drew in a sharp breath and hissed, "What?"

He did not like people. He did not need to like people. With like came familiarity, and with familiarity came dependence.

Gaara did not need anyone.

Kankurou raised his hands defensively. "I just want you to think about this, okay?" With a grudging nod from Gaara, Kankurou continued, "Do you want to see him?"

Gaara glared at the table, frustrated with himself. He didn't know if he wanted to see Lee. He did not vehemently oppose the idea, but just the thought of speaking to Lee again made his stomach cramp painfully.

"I... don't know," he answered honestly.

Kankurou sighed and grasped the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb. "Do you never want to see him again?"

Gaara shook his head. The thought of never seeing Lee again - and being plagued by the awful weight in his chest forever - was not a pleasant one.

Nodding, though it was obvious that he was growing more confused by the minute, Kankurou enquired, "Do you like spending time with him?"

"I... I think that I..." Gaara murmured to himself, his fingers clenching around the material of his pants. "Yes, I think so."

Kankurou's drink unexpectedly spread across the table. Both of them ignored it.

With an unusually serious expression on his face, Kankurou asked, "Do you care who talks to him?"

Gaara shook his head. He would not restrict Lee's rights, regardless of how much they upset him.

"Would you care if someone dated him?"

Gaara stood up, his cheeks flushing. "What does this have to do with anything, Kankurou?" he asked quietly.

His heart hurt. Gaara did not want Lee to smile because of anyone other than him.

He was being selfish.

He didn't care.

"Just answer me," Kankurou said. There was something entirely not right about his voice, and Gaara felt himself sit down and close his eyes before he was aware of even doing it.

"I... I don't know," Gaara sighed.

There was a sudden, loud sound: Kankurou's hand was flat against the table. "Stop saying that," he demanded loudly. "You do know, so stop lying. You're not stupid, Gaara - don't try to act like you are."

Gaara's hands shook when he clenched them around his shirt. He didn't know what to say. He did not want Lee to date anyone. If he could have his way, then Lee would never see another human being again - so long as Lee could still smile during this arrangement, of course.

If Lee was unhappy, then so Gaara was, as well; he could not stand the thought of going through more pain, though.

"I don't want him to," Gaara wondered aloud, frowning. "Why would he- No, he's not going to. He won't."

Kankurou stepped away from the table. "You know what I think."

Gaara stared out of the window and down at Konoha. The forest was empty.

His heart heavy, Gaara murmured, "I don't want to be his friend."

"Exactly," Kankurou sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked nervous and agitated and almost fearful. "What do you want from him, Gaara? If you don't like him and you don't want to be his friend, then what are you doing?"

Gaara wondered if Kankurou was aware of just how many times Gaara had asked himself those exact questions. "I don't know what I want from him," Gaara said quietly. "What does it mean to have a friend?"

Kankurou managed to seem awkward and unnerved and apprehensive, all at once, when he replied haltingly, "It means... It means you like someone. It means you want to spend time with them. It means you like to make them happy." Clearly uncomfortable, Kankurou said, "Maybe you should ask Temari. She's a girl. She gets this kind of thing."

With a shake of his head, Gaara responded, "No. I don't want to talk to Temari." Kankurou sighed despairingly, and Gaara added, "She puts milk in my tea."

It was a feeble attempt at humour. Kankurou did not laugh.

"Have you spoken to the therapy pillow?" Kankurou asked weakly.

Gaara snorted quietly. "No, I haven't."

Kankurou did not look surprised when he said uncomfortably, "Look, I know it seems stupid, but Temari says it's a good-"

Gaara sighed and stood quickly. He did not want to speak to Kankurou or the therapy pillow or Temari or anyone else.

What did he want?

"Goodnight, Kankurou," he said as he left for his bedroom. He did not sleep and was not surprised; he stared at the blank expanse of his ceiling for a long time. The lump pillow beneath his head somehow did not seem therapeutic in the slightest, even when he rolled over and sighed into it.

What was he going to do?

Lol, over a year without an update... Wow.