Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!

Disclaimer: (Whispering) This is Tigee, broadcasting from the darkest corners of the Writer's mind. The Enemy has begun probing for my home base, but they shall never learn its hidden location. Meanwhile, I started entrenching myself for the coming battle, laying in supplies and reinforcing my defensive structures. If this broadcast reaches you, I have one thing to say…THE WRITER OWNS NOTHING, YOU HEAR ME?

NOTHINGGGGGGG!

Intro: Hello hello all, and how are we doing today! As I sat down to start this chapter, door open to enjoy the late autumn sun and wind, I realized just what was going to happen here in chapter 12; we're going to jump past 100,000 words! For those of you who don't know this little bit of trivia, the average length of a novel is 100k words, a barrier that RSDM is breaching and going strong! I know it's not a huge accomplishment, especially compared to some of the saga-length stories on this site, but it means a lot to me and I would have never gotten this far without you guys telling me how much you liked this story. I'd also like to say a big thank you to Doc Flareon, my pro-bono editor, who keeps me from completely embarrassing myself grammatically. It doesn't hurt that he occasionally asks after how the chapter is going, reminding me that yes, I actually wrote something people want to read! Anyways, thank you guys and girls. Your positive feedback means more to me then I'm comfortable admitting…

"Normal Speech"

'Inner Thoughts'

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

"Speech by Empowered Beings" a.k.a. Speaking spirits, kami, demons, and humans emitting power at high levels.

Hidden safely in the depths of the asteroid ring separating the fourth and fifth planet of its assigned solar system, Juraian galactic probe 1849-RPBS tirelessly scanned the space around it, paying particular attention to the third planet orbiting Sol. 1849-RPBS was a very advance model, having been replaced recently at the command of the Emperor of Jurai and His wives when the aforementioned august individuals had last visited Terra to see their children. As a late-production model, the 'Royal Princess Baby-Sitter' probe was more than capable of immediately spotting Ranma's transformation into a full-fledged cabbit ship-form. Given the clumsiness of his first transformation, Ranma had no hope of hiding it, and all the full details were faithfully recorded by the Juraian device. Moments afterward, as the probe tried to send this startling information back to its owners, a brilliantly written computer virus planted by Washu activated and everything the probe had gathered relating to cabbits was sent to Washu instead before being deleted off the probe's memory banks. Had the probe been the least bit sentient, it probably would have been driven mad by the sheer number of times that particular set of actions was repeated that day. As it was, 1849-RPBS did soon develop a few strange …quirks that the manufacturer would soon be hard-pressed to explain to his irritated Emperor.

Meanwhile, a certain martial artist-turned-cabbit and his 'owner' were both enjoying themselves immensely.

"Weeeeee!" Kasumi cheered as Neko buzzed close enough to a skyscraper to rattle the reflective windows. The cabbit/spaceship delighted her by slipping out of the business district and heading out over the river that made its way sluggishly past the massive foreign city. The home-making young woman had no real idea where she and her pet were, but she didn't care. All Kasumi cared about was that she was watching an unfamiliar city in a distant land pass underneath as she flew through the sky. It was exciting and exhilarating, made better by the little tricks and abilities that Neko was teaching her, like that command to make the cabin turn transparent. Oh sure, it sounded like he was mumbling to himself but Kasumi just KNEW he hadn't forgotten about her, and Kasumi was very good at listening to other people. So, she listened to Neko ramble quietly with one ear and watched the world gleam below her with both eyes. Speaking of which, the sprawling city was gone, replaced by rolling countryside. Kasumi's smile slipped just a little as after a few minutes the pastoral view was replaced by an ocean…again. While the saintly woman could very well enjoy cruising all over the world all day, it wasn't quite what she'd really been looking forward to.

"Neko-kun…can we go on our adventure now?" The cabbit didn't answer, muttering something about trying to figure out what an 'Event Horizon' was. "Neko-kun!"

"Eh, what?"

Kasumi pouted slightly, upset that he'd forgotten such an important thing. "Our adventure, can we go now?"

Ranma's mind screeched to a halt, trying to process what Kasumi had just said. "You mean, just go? Why?"

Kasumi crossed her arms over the safety straps, pout increasing. "Because that's what happens when a maiden gets kidnapped!"

Neko was silent for a few minutes and Kasumi waited just as quietly.

"So…you're supposed to be on an adventure because you got 'kidnapped'?"

Kasumi nodded, smiling brightly. "Of course. Can we send Father and Uncle Saotome a ransom note before we leave though, I don't want them to worry about where I am." Ranma found himself speechless trying to process the logic of sending a ransom to prevent someone from worrying. "Ooh! Let's send a picture too. Those fireworks will make a lovely background." Shaking off the shock, Ranma quickly spotted what Kasumi was talking about. There was some sort of festival going on a river shore below them. It was a good sized, dark looking river and several miles of its shore on one side were lit up by strands of lights. Occasionally the brightest fireworks going off in the sky reflected off the river illuminating both sides with pale flashes and dancing shadows. It was an interesting effect even to Ranma and with Kasumi gently pleading with him to get a picture, the transformed martial artist eventually agreed. Picking a less populated area, Ranma teleported Kasumi down before focusing on what Washu had told him about his transformations.

Kyle Hunt stood outside the kitchen entrance of the Key West Shrimp House enjoying the quiet and a bit of weed. The dirty blonde wasn't a heavy user, but it was Regatta weekend and with all the out-of-towners in to watch the boat racing and drink beer, his shift had been Hell. Content, the 19 year-old ignored one of his co-workers exiting the kitchen and tossing something in the dumpster before going back in. Considering some of the other guy's habits, he wasn't worried about being turned in. Of far more interest was the silent flash of light coming from the nearby sidewalk. Pinching off the ember and hiding his blunt away, Kyle wandered over, instantly spotting the girl staring at the fireworks with awe.

#Hey.# He called out. #If you're looking for the restaurant doors, they're around the corner.# The modestly dressed girl, no, woman, turned towards him with a puzzled expression. She had noticeably Oriental features he realized when the safety light outside the kitchen door illuminated her face, and her nationality was easy enough to pin down when she talked.

"What?"

Kyle had seen way too many of his older brother's animes not to recognize the Japanese word for 'what'.

#Do you speak English?#

"Oh!" #Yes, I do. I learned in High school.#

Kyle nodded. #Cool. You want something?#

Kasumi considered it, looking back at the fireworks.

#An adventure.# Kasumi said finally, deciding that it was past time for her to get things going. #And a picture too if you have a camera, please.# Kyle smirked, deciding to let that first one slid. She didn't look like the type to enjoy dirty jokes.

#My boss has a Polaroid camera I can use, but what's up with this 'adventure' stuff?# A very small frown appeared on Kasumi's face. Neither individual paid attention to the cabbit appearing on Kasumi's shoulder, though Ranma was curious about was going on.

#My baby sister…# Kasumi started slowly. #has the most exciting life. Boys have always admired her. They used to challenge her to fights for the right to date her every morning and even when she got engaged they still adored her. Even girls always pay attention to her. And that's not all. Recently, strange visitors have been coming to our house, and they always have business with Akane and her fiancé Ranma. There's fights, and chases, and powers, and then a handsome prince whisks Akane off to a strange and far away land. Ranma and his friends always have to race off to rescue her and when that's not happening there are strange things happening at home. It's all so…exciting.# Ranma winced as Kasumi sighed softly. The young woman was about to tell the younger boy that wished her life was half as interesting when he spoke up.

#It sounds like your sister's life sucks. He told her.# Kasumi and Ranma stared at him in shock at the man's dismissive tone. #Just how often does that crap happen to her?#

#C-crap?# Kasumi stuttered, amazed that anyone would refer to Akane's life that way. Kyle snorted, lighting up a cigarette and missing the glare from the cabbit.

#Yeah. If I had to deal with half that shit, my brothers would start fucking people up. Who'd want to deal with all that?# Kyle lazily puffed away at the cancer stick hanging from his lips. #I'd rather enjoy myself then get dumped on. Go to a few parties, smoke a little weed, drink a few beers, you know, relax.# Seeing Kasumi's scandalized look, Kyle chuckled. #Not your thing huh? It's cool, Bill's like that; only drinks on holidays and big birthday parties. Bill's my older brother.# Kyle explained, seeing the puzzled look.

#Oh.# Kasumi murmured. #What does he do for fun?# The young home-maker inquired, trying to recall what passed for manners in an English speaking country. Kyle shrugged.

#Watch movies, hang out, play games. If you can get him talking, Bill will chat your ear off about what places he'd visit if he had the money. Travel the world, see the sights, eat strange food.# Kyle finished his cigarette as his phone went off. After glancing at the glowing text, Kyle put it away. #I'm gonna go get that camera.# Kasumi nodded, lost in thought about what the younger man had talked about. A miyah from Neko dragged her out of her thoughts in time for Kasumi to see the 19 year-old to hold up a battered Polaroid camera. #Smile.# Plucking Neko off her shoulder, Kasumi held him to her chest and smiled cheerily. A quick flash later Kyle handed her the developing photo. #I'm heading out, good luck.# Watching the man smoothly hop in his car and drive away despite the THC in his system, Kasumi thought long and hard about what she wanted to do next. Lifting Neko up to look him in the eyes, Kasumi made her decision.

"Take me home Neko-kun."

"Do you hear that, Saotome?" As was traditional for their games, Genma didn't even hesitate to look up from the shoji board and began to look wildly around.

"Sound, what sound Tendo?" Genma asked his long-time friend, giving the mustached man plenty of opportunity to move a few pieces. Strangely, the board was the same when Genma looked back. Glancing up at Tendo quizzically, Genma noted that Tendo wasn't even looking at the board, but was staring at the ceiling. 'Hmm, he must actually hear something.' Joining Tendo in staring at the ceiling, both men waited for the sound to repeat itself.

Thump!

"Hmm." Genma scratched his chin, thinking. "That sounded like a body being bounced off of something."

"That came from the bedrooms upstairs. Do you think my daughters came home?"

"Possibly Tendo, let us check." Casually, the two martial artists mounted the stairs and began hunting down the sound, which was louder and more frequent up here. When they tracked down the noise, both men were horrified to find that it was coming from the Dreaded Master's room. Exchanging looks of terror, the two old friends began a silent exchange made possible by 20 plus years of friendship and mutual suffering.

When did the Master come back home?

Who knows, who cares; he's back! We have to get out before he spots us!

We figure what he's doing now from Nabiki-chan later.

Lead the way Tendo.

Sneaking away carefully, Genma and Soun both ignored Nabiki's door opening. They'd call later, escape was more important.

Minutes earlier, Nabiki had finally given up pacing and had seated herself at her desk. Sorting through her pictures and papers to calm down, Nabiki turned over what she'd learned today in her head. Obviously, the furry/crystalline thing had WAY more secrets then she originally guessed. More dangerous as well. Still, at least he seemed willing to uphold his deals. Putting away a sorted stack of photos, Nabiki tapped a finger on the desk. Putting aside the endless questions about what Neko was that she couldn't answer, Nabiki decided to focus on what the creature wanted with Ryoga. "Nothing nice, I know that."

Thump

Nabiki frowned, wondering what that sound was.

Thump thumpThump

"What the…?" Nabiki murmured, standing up. Stepping out of her room, Nabiki tracked the thumping to Happosai's room. Nabiki stood in front of the old pervert's room for several moments with a quirked eyebrow as another thump rang out. 'Hmm, guess Happosai made it home ok, though I do wonder about the sound.' Schooling her face to her regular smirk, Nabiki knocked on the door. "Happosai, are you in there?" The room was quiet for several seconds.

"Hello Nabiki-chan, what can I do for you?"

"I'd like to know what that thumping sound is, and maybe what that mess in the park was about." Of course she knew exactly what it was about but it was always amusing to hear the lecher's version of things.

"Uhh, I don't know what you're talking about Nabiki-chan!"

"For the love of the gods, help me Nabiki Tendo!" THUMPcrash!

Nabiki blinked. "Happosai, was that Mousse?"

"…no."

"Uh-huh. I'm coming in Happosai."

"Don't Nabiki-chan!" Ignoring the shout, Nabiki pushed the door open. The middle Tendo daughter paused a moment at the sight within but her sense of humor, such as it was, reared its head.

"Branching out are we Happosai?" The old pervert flushed in humiliation at the suggestion while Mousse managed to look up at her with horror in his eyes from where he'd been pinned to the floor. Well, not just pinned. The Hidden Weapons master had been thoroughly pummeled and tied up with rope and chains. The source of the thumping was easily explained as Mousse's glasses were shattered and there was a large and rough dent in the wall of Happosai's room were the Grandmaster had been slamming the Amazon's head into it. To top it all off, a crude gag made from Mousse's clothes had been rammed in the fighter's mouth, no doubt right after she had knocked.

"It's not what it looks like Nabiki-chan!" The old lecher sputtered. "I was just teaching this whelp a lesson about intruding were he isn't welcome…and stealing! Nobody steals from me!" That caught Nabiki's interest. What could Mousse possibly want from Happosai bad enough to risk the Grandmaster's notoriously bad temper?

"Mmph! Mmmmmmmm!" Nabiki looked down, smiling.

"What's wrong Mousse, need some help?" The Weapon Master nodded frantically, eyes wide. "Before I do anything about this, let me ask you a question. Just how many times have you kidnapped or threatened my baby sister?" Mousse's eyes went wide as Happosai cackled. Smirking broadly, Nabiki turned and left, pausing only to wave at Happosai. "Enjoy your fun Happosai, I'll be in my room until dinner if you need any suggestions."

After the door closed, the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes Style cackled again and leaned forward to stare Mousse in the eyes. "So boy, just where were we?"

Mousse whimpered.

Kodachi sat perfectly still in her favorite chair, wearing her favorite robe, with a cup of her favorite tea steaming on the table beside her. Sasuke knelled behind her chair, staying absolutely silent as he waited for his mistress to finished calming down. Kodachi had been incredibly worked up about the whole situation with her 'Destined patron for future Greatness'. Discovering that she had been utterly mislead by Gosunkugi had sent the Kuno heiress to the darker parts of her mind for a time and only hours later was she finally calming down. "Sasuke"

"Yes mistress." The ninja responded immediately.

"Is that idiot-mage still alive?"

"Yes mistress."

Kodachi thought about ordering the ninja to dump the boy somewhere to get him away from her, but reconsidered. He was still useful, if less reliable then she originally thought. Still, the debacle did offer something salvageable. Learning that her future patron was a dragon gave her several options on how to approach him for his favor, though the unbalanced gymnast was rather curious about why a dragon was named 'Cat'; perhaps it was a nickname?

"I shall have Gosunkugi look into that once he wakes up." Kodachi whispered to herself. Standing up, Kodachi exited her sitting room, leaving her tea to be picked up by one of the cleaning servants. Sasuke, knowing it was expected of him, followed the girl as she walked purposefully through her family's manor. The ninja servant did grow rather nervous when Kodachi made her way to the family Relic and Treasure Vault, resting place of many a strange and powerful object. Opening the secure door, Kodachi stepped through and snapped her fingers. "The register, Sasuke."

"Yes mistress." The small ninja vanished briefly, reappearing holding an overstuffed binder. "Here it is mistress." After a gesture from Kodachi, Sasuke undid the strings holding the binder shut and held it up so she could flip through it without effort. Humming, Kodachi browsed the register of her family vault, occasionally pausing to read the details of the entries, one finely manicured nail tracing the words.

"Now then, where is that Orb…"

Feeling much relaxed from her day out with her friends, Akane stepped into her home with a smile on her face. "Hello everyone, I'm home!"

"Akane-chan is home!"

Akane paled as the creaky old man voice reached her ears, accompanied by the very faint sound of a Grandmaster level thief/martial artist/peeping tom excitedly rushing down the stairs. "Oh no, when'd he get back?" A moment later a shrunken, shriveled pervert had bounded into sight and latched onto her chest. Shrieking in feminine rage, Akane attempted an elbow drop on the old man's head. Moving swiftly, Happosai avoided the blow and crawled around the girl's body to give her bottom a fond squeeze.

"He he he, always a pleasure Akane-chan!" Screaming again, Akane managed through sheer luck to swat Happosai off of her butt and further into the house. "Aww…" Happosai whined, poorly attempting to plead with puppy-dog eyes. "why do you have to be so mean Akane-chan!" Weeks of pent up frustration and days of nervousness finally found an outlet as an over-sized red-glowing wooden mallet appeared in Akane's hands and was brought up overhead.

"DIE!"

"Ooh, today is just not a good day to be a harmless old man." Deciding he didn't want to add a malleting to today's list of indignities, Happosai leapt back with the full extent of his speed…and the top of Akane's mallet grazed the tip his nose before crashing into the floor with an explosive force that hurled wood splinters and Grandmaster to the end of the front hall. "Holy Buddha's Balls! How'd an untalented half-trained brat like you do that?" Happosai's eyes bulged as the mallet came up again with the same red glow.

"DIE PERVERT!"

"Yaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

BOOM!

Bouncing rapidly off the front room walls and up the stairs Happosai bled off the concussive force of another near-hit, a zigzagging pattern that had the advantage of making him very hard to hit. It was an old trick of Happosai's and it served him well in this stead, taking him to the upstairs hallway without Akane managing a third shot at him though the enraged schoolgirl was on his heels. Darting past an amused looked Nabiki standing in her doorway, Happosai threw open the door to his own room, planning to climb out the window and hope that Akane got distracted by the Amazon male lying tied up on his floor. The old Grandmaster was quite irked to find that the little near-blind snot-nosed brat had somehow freed himself and was in the middle of using HIS planned exit route. "Damn it." Happosai groused. "How'd you get out of that? I've put ninjitsu specialists in that kind of binding before and none of them got out of it half as fast." Happosai paused, looking thoughtful. "Well, Genma used to but that lazy fool always was good at saving his own skin." Ignoring Happosai's commentary, Mousse glanced over the Grandmaster's head and frantically finished scrambling out of the window. "Don't ignore me you sniveling…oh wait…" Happosai turned slowly, unhappily taking in a furious Akane lining up with her Ki-infused mallet.

'I really got to start paying more attention to what I'm doing. These brats are all getting so annoying these days…'

POW!

Carefully strapped into a flight bed, Kasumi cheerfully watched the countryside of her native country roll on underneath her pet/mount/magical animal companion. Floating above her in easy view was the AI(Associate Interface) screen. Massive amounts of information scrolled across the holographic screen in the Japanese language, though the young woman still didn't understand most of it. Still, she had a beautiful view, a new goal for her life, and a magical companion to love and mother; what more could a woman ask?

"Are we almost home Neko-kun?"

"Just about. We're over Nerima now and…" Silently, a small object shot past the cabbit and rider achieving the upper edge of LEO at the top of its arch before falling again.

"Oh my! What was that!"

"According to my scanners…a 2 and a half foot tall, high life-force being generating a localized spatial warp. So, my guess is Happosai."

"Oh, will Grandfather be alright?"

"Meh. The old letch is tougher then rocks. He'll be fine. Ok, we're here. Everybody off!" Kasumi giggled a bit as colorless light filled the chamber and deposited her in front of her house. Brushing her off her clothes out of long habit in preparation of heading inside, Kasumi paused, feeling an odd urge. Obeying it, she held out her hands in time to caught Neko in his cute little form as he fell from the sky. Giggling, Kasumi lifted Neko and kissed his nose which caused a brief pinkish light in his forehead jewel. Content, Kasumi headed inside, patting Neko when he gave a dazed 'miyah'. Stepping in her family's home, Kasumi called out 'I'm home' as she removed her shoes. A crash from the kitchen answered her. Confused, the domestically inclined woman headed for her domain, still holding her magical pet who was recovering from the smooch he'd been given.

"Hello?"

There was a bit more clanging from the kitchen before Akane stepped out, holding a frying pan and looking sheepish. "Hi Kasumi, back from your picnic?" Kasumi blinked once, confused, before recalling that Akane hadn't been present for any of the excitement that afternoon.

"Well, yes." Kasumi said slowly, not elaborating or explaining at all, the closest she could bring herself to lying. "Akane-chan, what are you doing in the kitchen?" Akane brightened up, waving the pan in her hand.

"Oh, well you weren't home so I thought I'd go ahead and start dinner for you, it's getting late in the afternoon after all."

"Miyah! Miyah miyah MIYAH!" Akane and Kasumi were both surprised at the volume and force of Neko's cries, which easily carried to where Nabiki was sitting in her room. The two women were even more surprised when Neko wiggled out of Kasumi's grasp and dropped to the floor. Hopping over to the stunned female martial artist, Neko did something and the next thing anybody knew, Akane was being dragged away from the kitchen, screaming, by a creature a fraction of her size. Kasumi just stared blankly as her sister struggled and fought, trying(1) with all her strength to keep the rabbit-looking creature from hauling her away. In very little time Akane disappeared around the corner of the front room and into the dojo courtyard screaming in rage as Neko hauled her away by one foot. Kasumi stared a moment or two longer before deciding that everything was fine. Neko was such a sweetie after all.

"I suppose I better start dinner then. I always did think better while I was cooking." Humming, Kasumi stepped into her kitchen to get to work on the evening meal.

"Stop it you furry menace, stop stop stop!" Nabiki paused mid-movement, a sheet of debts due clutched in her hand.

'Is that Akane screaming out in the yard?'

"Someone help! I've been kidnapped by a magic bunny rabbit!" Sighing, Nabiki put the paper down and stood up to look out the window of her room. Sure enough, there was her sister being dragged across the yard by Neko. Little bastard was even making it look easy.

"Magic powers or not, how IS he doing that?" A moment later Akane's shouts turned into a scream of fright as the heiress of the Tendo School of Anything Goes martial arts was flipped into the koi pond. "Daddy is not going to like this story. It might be amusing to see how Kuno reacts though." In the koi pond, Akane finally lost her temper enough to start screaming obscenities at Neko, opening with a comment about the promiscuity of Neko's mother.

ZAP!

Nabiki winced in sympathy as her sister was flash-frozen into the pond before Neko hopped in front of Akane and started scratching her angrily. "So, making fun of bunny-boy's mother is definitely a no-no." Having been under a great deal of stress lately, Akane responded to this treatment with a suggestion about what Neko could do to himself with a bucket of lemon juice, a pound of salt, and a wood chipper. Swearing a little herself, Nabiki bolted from the window and ran for the stairs. She really didn't want to see her sister get kicked to death by a vengeful rabbit spirit.

"Oh look, a shooting star Tendo. And in broad daylight too." Soun looked up from his ramen bowl quickly spotting what his heavy-set friend was talking about.

"Truly, how astonishing." A sudden thought occurred to the Tendo patriarch and the man quickly backtracked the path of the thing towards his home. "Oh no, it seems Akane has lost her temper with someone." Genma looked up quickly from his own ramen bowl and had to twist to see between the flaps of the stand they'd gone to for dinner, but he too quickly recognized that movement pattern.

"Can't be the boy." Genma muttered, pushing up his glasses. "He would have already redirected his flight to land somewhere closer to food. That Kuno boy maybe?" Soun grunted lightly in disagreement.

"To small. In fact, the only ones who'd fit that are Sasuke…and the Master." The middle aged men exchanged hopeful looks before quickly settling their tab. Making their way through the streets, Soun and Genma soon arrived at the Dojo. At the gate, they quickly peeked out, eyes peeled for the Dreaded Master. When the shriveled man failed to appear, Genma and Soun 'sneaked' their way to the front door. Their ridiculous poses and movement adding no stealth to the approach. Pulling a little ahead, Soun gently knocked on his own front door. When no one came to the door, Soun hesitantly knocked a little louder. This time, the door opened, revealing a decidedly un-amused Nabiki.

"What do you want?" She snapped, before recognizing Soun. "Oh, hi Daddy. Sorry about that." Soun looked shaken by his normally calm and collected daughter's burst of fury.

"What's wrong Nabiki-chan?" Nabiki waved off his concern, sighing wearily.

"Nothing, Daddy. I was just irritated about the amount of effort I had to go through to get Neko to stop beating up Akane."

"WHAT!" Sound shouted, taking a heroic pose. "How dare that beast assault my little girl." Nabiki rolled her eyes as Soun ranted and Genma chimed in at the right moments to keep the Tendo patriarch going. Finally losing patience with her father's speech-making, Nabiki went straight for his pride.

"So Daddy, how exactly are you going to make Neko pay for this? I seem to remember him making fools of you and Mister Saotome." Soun deflated, and Genma shot her an annoyed look. Ignoring the man's glare easily, Nabiki stepped aside, waving her father and his fat friend into the house. "Come on in, Neko's pretty calm at the moment and Kasumi is making dinner." The two men headed into the house, soon coming across Akane, who was watching TV and trying to dry off and warm up with a number of towels.

"Akane-chan! My poor baby!" Akane sighed, suffering her father's wailing and theatrics poorly. She was still shivering from being frozen in the pond after all and was in no mood to deal with her dad's immature behavior.

"I'm f-fine dad. Nabiki broke things up before it got too bad. Not that it should have happened in the first place." Akane whispered the last sentence angrily, roughly rubbing a towel over her hair to help muffle the sound. Soun eyed his daughter uneasily, but didn't say anything more. Genma ignored the whole by-play between father and daughter, more interested in the sounds and smells starting to come from the kitchen. Eventually, Genma coaxed Soun into finishing their shoji game from earlier. Soun did so only after one last uneasy glance back at his youngest daughter. Stewing, Akane stayed where she was until Kasumi let everyone know that dinner was ready.

Kasumi silently watched her family eat. Picking at her own meal, the quiet young woman planned out how best to break the news to her family. Akane and Nabiki would be supportive of her decision, Father on the other hand would be…less supportive. Not angry, she knew, just upset. Father didn't handle changes very well, though he had managed the Saotome's arrived with surprising grace; perhaps it was because Genma was an old friend? Kasumi shook her head slightly, dismissing that thought for now. Dropping a hand to pet Neko for courage, Kasumi took a deep breathe and spoke up.

"Everyone, I have some news."

There were flinches all around the table at that statement. Even Nabiki and Ranma looked uncomfortable. Glancing all around to make sure her family was paying attention, Kasumi revealed her big news.

"Today, while me and Neko-kun were traveling around, I meet a strange young man who said some things that made me think about what I wanted in life." 'Oh no!' Soun thought, 'Please please don't let this be what I think this is!' "And I have decided that I want more in life then just cleaning and cooking." Soun grunted, looking pained. "I've decided that from now on, everyday, me and Neko are going to go visit another city somewhere in the world. We're going to explore new places and meet new people! Ooh, imagine the recipes I could find!" While Kasumi tittered at the thought of collecting exotic recipes from around the world, the family and houseguests processed the woman's statements. Ranma wasn't thrilled about Kasumi's decision. Ferrying Kasumi around the world would eat up a lot of his time. He still had to practice the cabbit abilities that unlocked with his transformation and he still hadn't found Ryoga again.

'I suppose that at least this will give me something to do during the day instead of just watching TV…though I've gotten tons of ideas from those cartoons.'

Genma only had one concern. "Will you still being cooking for us?" Kasumi blinked.

"Well, I suppose I would most of the time. Why wouldn't I?" Genma nodded solemnly, satisfied.

"That's good enough for me, I look forward to tasting the new additions to your cooking repertoire!" Soun looked aghast at Genma's casual response; one of Soun's baby girls had just declared that she was going out into the world!

"B-but Kasumi! A young lady has no business traveling the world by herself, it's so dangerous!" Kasumi giggled, picking up her pampered baby/magical animal companion/spaceship.

"But Father, I'm not alone! Neko-kun will be with me. Isn't that right sweetie?" Kasumi rubbed noses with Neko, causing the transformed martial artist to blush wildly, something that only showed up as a pinkish glow on his power jewel. "Neko-kun is such a good boy, I'm sure he'll always defend his mommy." Casting an uneasy look at the cabbit, Soun pushed ahead with his attempt to dissuade his daughter from this 'crazy' plan.

"But Kasumi-chan, why would you even want to go to these strange places in the first place. Foreigners are so rude and mean, and their countries are ugly compared to the beauty of Japan!"

Kasumi frowned lightly, hugging her pet closer. "They are not, Father. Neko-kun and I already saw several other countries today and they were quite beautiful. And that was even without a close look at all the little details! Besides, that boy in the English speaking country I went to was rather nice, if slightly queer."

Soun's expression turned thunderous. "Kasumi-chan! How could you just run off like that! I thought I raised you better then that, and to talk to some random man in another country too! I won't allow this to continue!" As her father ranted about his disappointment with her, his outrage at this behavior, and so forth, Kasumi felt a very rare emotion for her well up inside. How dare he! How dare he insult her fledgling dreams of visiting distant places and gathering and cooking exotic recipes! When was the last time she ever truly asked for ANYTHING? How many years had she taken care of the family after mother died. How many sacrifices had she made for her sisters and even her father? And now, the one time she wanted to do something for herself and to pursue a goal that was just a little bit selfish, Father refused to wish her well. In fact, he seemed to be quickly working his way to flatly denying her permission to travel.

'Would Akane or Nabiki stand for this? Would either of my sisters back down from their hopes? Kasumi stared at her father's reddening face. 'Would Ranma back down from anyone if he was here?'

"…and furthermore I-"

"No."

Soun paused in his speech/rant, feeling a dire chill dance up his spine at his oldest daughter's tone of voice. Heeding their separate survival instincts, Genma and Nabiki began sneaking away from the table. Akane and Soun remained, looking confused. "What do you mean, no, Kasumi-chan?" Kasumi responded by directing the coldest stare anyone had ever seen from her at her rapidly paling father.

"I said no, Father. I don't care what you say, I will continue with my plans. If you don't like that I'm going to do something for myself for once, then I have just one thing to say…Neko!" Soun went bone-white as the rabbit-beast leapt for him, growling. To the side Akane scrambled madly for escape, not willing to get beaten up a second time that day.

"Mommy!"

Silently blessing the manga that inspired the creation of his Wire-Fu, Mousse limped away from the Tendo dojo as quickly as he could manage. Grunting, Mousse plucked off the last of the chains around him off. "Damn pervert! Tormenting me like I'm some fly to have my wings torn off. At least one good thing came of this afternoon." Slipping a spare pair of glasses on to navigate the roofs of Nerima, Mousse continued muttering to himself. "I know Happosai doesn't have the magical items, though that does beg the question; who does have them?" Brooding on the subject of just who had made off with several sacks of magical loot, Mousse completely missed the gleaming 'shooting star' behind him. Sighing, Mousse hopped over the wall surrounding the Kuno manor and began weaving his way through the traps surrounding the house. Finally stepping into the front hall, the weapon master debated his options. He couldn't just leave the items lost. Asshole he might have been, Mousse was not retarded enough to leave assorted magical items unaccounted for. "I have no clue who could of taken the items, which means I'd have to investigate Happosai's room for clues, but with the lecher back in town that's practically suicide. I'd have to make sure he's out of the room for at least an hour."

"Mousse-san." Yelping in shock, Mousse whirled around and hurled a handful of knives at the source of the voice.

THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!

"M-master Kuno -erg- would like t-to talk to you Mousse-san." Mousse winced at the sight of Sasuke pinned to the wall by his knives. Oops.

"Sorry about that Sasuke. Where would I find Tatewaki?"

"He's in his study." Nodding, Mousse quickly walked away, very carefully not looking back. Having spent a few days in the mansion, Mousse was more then able to find his way to Tatewaki's study. There, the Amazon found his so-called patron seated and looking rather disturbed.

"You wanted to see me?" Mousse stated in a dry tone. Tatewaki looked up at the question. Seeing Mousse, Tatewaki bridged his hands together and nodded to the chair across from him.

"Sit my underling, I have something to discuss with you." Gritting his teeth at being called an underling Mousse took the indicated chair and folded his hands across his chest, ready to throw a weapon at a moment's notice. "As you may have noticed," Tatewaki started, taking on a pompous lecturing voice "my twisted sister is not entirely stable. Since the accursed Ranma Saotome's disappearance, she has only grown worse, heading towards full-blown insanity."

Mousse stared at Kuno, wondering how the fuck Tatewaki could say something like that with a straight face.

"Verily, in these last few days Kodachi's fragile grasp on the world has been completely lost. She frequently speaks of a 'Demon Lord Belathor' and gaining his assistance in securing the love of Ranma Saotome where she thinks I cannot learn of it." Tatewaki scoffed. "As if a man such as I would not know what goes on it the walls of my own home." Mousse rolled his eyes behind his glasses.

"And what does your crazed sister have to do with me?"

"Quite simply, I wish for you to capture her and deliver her to the appropriate facility." Mousse stared, certain he'd heard wrong.

"What?"

"I wish to have my twisted and incompetent sister committed but I cannot do so myself due to certain legalities. So, you shall have to do so for me anonymously." Mousse stared at Kuno, who stared right back. There was a heavy silence between them as Kuno waited expectantly for Mousse to agree to his request and Mousse tried to wrap his mind the concept of one of the Kuno siblings attempting to have the other committed. "Well?"

Sighing, Mousse stood up, keeping his arms folded. "Unfortunately for you Kuno, I make it a policy not to get involved in a fight between siblings. So, I shall have to decline."

Kuno flushed angrily reaching for his bokken as he stood up. "If you are so foolish as to turn down my request, then I shall have to take matters into my own hands after all. However, if my intended plans are to work no one can know of them. Thus, I am afraid I must deal with you rather finally, 'Intruder'. Sasuke!" Mousse smirked as the small ninja joined his master in the study, drawing his weapons from his shinobi uniform. As Tatewaki took a ready pose to begin attacking, Mousse shook his head dismissively, drawing his hands out of his sleeves to reveal that he was now wearing reinforced black leather gloves that glinted menacingly.

"I'm amazed and impressed that you actually had the brains to think of decrying me a home-invader Kuno, but you have forgotten one very important thing." Mousse's eyes hardened as he threw his hands out and sent gleaming wires into a deadly dance through the air, slicing apart everything in their path.

"I'm the better fighter now. Wire-fu: Endless Whip-crack Death!"

"YYYYEEEAAA-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

WHA-BAM!

With a deafening burst of sound Happosai finally reached the end of his mallet-powered flight and crashed landed at the outskirts of Nerima. As the aged Grandmaster laying groaning in the newest crater to scar the district, he couldn't help but feel some small sympathy for his youngest disciple. How the pig-tailed brat survived these trips, and as frequent as his mouth got him sent on them, was a mystery even to the 300 plus year-old martial artist like Happosai. Slowly, the old pervert dug his way out from the bottom of the crater, acquiring a few dozen new scratches in the process. "Why is Akane-chan so mean?" Happosai moaned. "I was just being friendly!" Climbing to his feet, Happosai placed his hands on his hips and cracked his back. "I oughta go back there and teach her a lesson about punting harmless old men into the distance! I'll…I'll…hubba hubba!" Happosai was distracted from his maniacal plots of revenge against Akane's spat of self-defense and righteous feminine fury when an exotic beauty walked into sight up the street. A delightfully mature woman, she had not an ounce of fat in a wrong place. A tailored somber business suit subtly called attention to her curves and contrasted intriguingly with her viridian locks and dark red eyes. The old Grandmaster felt his tongue hang out of his mouth as he stared at one of the finest pieces of ass he'd ever seen, a real dime piece if he remembered his American slang right. "I want!" With that, Happosai lunged.

Setsuna Meioh strode down the streets of Nerima with absolute confidence, showing not a drop of fear or hesitance. It was the best thing to do in chaotic places like Nerima. Act like a predator and the scavengers who lurked in the shadows of the local powers would keep their distance. Of course, she had to keep her distance from the local leaders or risk confrontation. They wouldn't take well to another 'power' intruding on their territory. Still, as long as she kept away from the hotspots she would probably be alright while she gathered information on the Chaos Generator. Sweeping the area with no more movement then her eyes, Setsuna contemplated how best to dig up information on the rabbit spirit. Such a creature wouldn't exactly advertise information about itself on the street corners. 'This would be so much simpler if I could use the Time Gates to dig into this creature's past. Curse his natural protections against such magics.'

"Hotcha!"

Setsuna froze, eyes wide in shock, as something attached itself to her rear and proceeded to grope and fondle her in ways no man ever had before. Twitching, the red-eyed woman turned her head to stare down at the small and shriveled figure clutching her ass and crooning in delight at what he felt. An unholy rage began to fill Setsuna's heart as she recognized the creep groping her. The Time Guardian might not have been able to scry on the Chaos Generator but she had easily been able to ID and learn about most of the major players in Nerima. "YOU!" Setsuna hissed with venom as she called out her transformation pen. "Prepare to die!"

Happosai looked up at her with watery pleading eyes. "Can't you just let a dying old man enjoy his comforts?"

Snarling, Setsuna activated her transformation without the normal phrase, a benefit of her years of experience. Because of this, Happosai was totally caught off guard when a MASSIVE swirl of magic surrounded the woman he was clinging to and tossed him aside. Yelping, Happosai bounced a few times before recovering and hopping to his feet, smoke rising off his Gi. In front of the Grandmaster, the green-haired woman performed an odd dance, her form not quite visible through the column of light and power covering her. When it ended, a furious urban legend stood before the lecher. Given his hobbies, it would come as no surprise to anyone that Happosai could recognize any short-skirted myth, legend, or ghost story on sight. Seeing the mysterious Sailor Pluto stand in front of him with Garnet Rod in hand and radiating all kinds of Pissed Off confirmed for Happosai that today was simply not his day, and that it was best to try again tomorrow.

"Err, got to go. See ya later dearie!" With that, Happosai turned to run.

"Dead Scream."

Despite being whispered, the attack phrase carried easily, letting Happosai hear it and an oddly colored sphere blew past the old man and tore apart the pavement inches in front of his feet. Freezing in place, Happosai didn't move an inch as Pluto walked up to him and lifted him clear off the ground. Holding the man's clothes in one hand, Pluto pointed her Rod at him with the other and stared directly into his terrified eyes.

"Let's talk, you and I."

Happosai nodded rapidly, not wanting to do anything that would piss off a woman said to have control over time itself(2). Setsuna smiled victoriously.

"Good pervert."

Singing quietly, Kasumi ran a soft brush through Neko's fur. After the excitement at dinner, and the tension that it had created afterwards, the domestic young woman felt it was best to soothe her beloved pet's worries away. Carefully picking apart a small knot in Neko's fur, Kasumi stopped singing and began confiding her thoughts about the earlier events to the cabbit. "Why did Father have to be so stubborn and mean. All I said was that I wanted to try new things and go new places; why did he have to be so cruel about my wants?" Neko miyahed, supportively nuzzling her hand. Kasumi smiled happily, picking up the cabbit and hugging him "You really are such a good boy Neko-kun, making Father listen to me." Ranma purred, getting a giggle from Kasumi. He was always willing to put the two idiot fathers in their place. Though he was slightly worried about how they were going to respond. They always did in one way or another even if it usually ended up back-firing in their faces. Still, the looks on Soun and Akane's face when he jumped over the dining room table and started beating on the long-haired jerk…

'Meh heh heh!'

Ranma was distracted from his mild evil laughter when Kasumi stood up, pressing him closer to her chest. 'Lalala! I'm not paying attention, I'm not paying attention to where I am!' Shifting to hold Neko with one arm, Kasumi walked over to her small personal bookcase and pulled out a pristine and untouched looking book from one of the shelves. Ranma watched curiously as she returned to her bed and opened the book, revealing it to be an atlas. Smiling brightly, Kasumi put Neko down on the bed next to the book, and started flipping through the pages. Ranma tilted his head slightly to better see the pictures as Kasumi eventually stopped on a map of France. 'France huh?'

"What do you think of going to France tomorrow Neko? I've tried that style of cooking before, when someone came to collect on one of Father's sillier promises and it was very nice. I especially liked the pastries." Ranma nodded, recalling the rich food he'd eaten during the whole Battle Dining incident. "Oh good!" Kasumi squealed, taking the nod for an agreement to take her to France the next day. Closing the atlas and dropping it on her bedside stand, Kasumi scooped Neko up to chest once more and flopped on the bed. Pulling her sheets and covers up, Kasumi missed Neko's heavy blush as she settled in for bed. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day after all.

As quiet as a mouse, Sasami packed a bag, filling it with clean clothes and toiletries. At her feet, Ryo-ohki fidgeted impatiently, occasionally miyahing to encourage Sasami to speed up. Why was the young princess packing a bag, and at 11 at night you might ask? Well, it's quite simple. She was tired of waiting for the adults to get their acts together. Washu had gotten her all excited this morning by telling her that Ran-ohki had finished transforming and was ready to 'play' and then the scientist wouldn't let her go find him! Well that just wasn't fair to her. She wanted to play with the new cabbit gosh darn it! Sighing, Sasami zipped up her bag and picked up Ryo-ohki.

"It's up to you and me Ryo-ohki! We've got to find Ran-ohki and keep him company. Who knows how lonely he is without us around."

"Miyah!" Ryo-ohki cheered, waving her paws in excitement. Giggling, Sasami opened her window and climbed out. Shimmying down the wall of the house was harder then she expected, especially with the wiggling and excited cabbit in her arms, but Sasami managed it. Making it to the ground, the princess posed in one of those stances she'd seen on the morning cartoons.

"A victory for Love and Friendship!" Giggling again, Sasami headed out, holding Ryo-ohki close as the two took off down the stairs of the temple and towards town where the bus stops were.

1.) And failing.

2.) We know she can't, but does anyone else? I can easily see a rumor getting started from her title and swiftly being blown totally out of proportion.

Author's Note: This one turned out shorter then I wanted, but it really sets up a few things for the next chapter. Still, at least the creative juices are still flowing, right? Happily, I have managed to release another chapter despite now having a day job, so take that responsibility! Bwa-hahaha!

So, we get to see some personal development for Kasumi in number 12, breaking out of her shell. Obviously, she is acting out of character but honestly she was very 2-dimensional in the original series, being little more then the supportive house-keeping big sister. I do have to say that trying to write her was more taxing then I expected. Still, I have persevered and hopefully I haven't butchered her. Anywho, expect to see some more personal growth from her as she and 'Neko' explore the world. The world's most comprehensive cookbook ho!

Even better, Happosai gets several helpings of his just deserts. Plus, Setsuna finds an information source so she won't be going in blind, so sad, but too bad for Happosai. Some interesting developments in the Kuno manor, and I bet everyone and their aunt is just dying to know what's up with that Orb that Kodachi was looking for. That is for me to know, and you to find out in a tension filled showdown!

Bwa-hahAHAHAhaha!

Oh yeah, Sasami runs away from home to seek her expected playmate/new sibling. More on that later.

Inconceivably Yours,

Tigee86.

Omakes…

Thought of and written by Alex Ultra:

Slowly, he moved a small piece of stone a measured distance, then left it be, returning his hand to its place, was he considering?

Why, the game, of course!

And his opponent was worthy, of that he was sure. It was a given, after all his opponent had a mind like a Super Computer. Several, in fact.

Of course, he had a mind not unlike several hundred, or even thousand Super Computers, but even against a lesser mind a game of such elegant simplicity, mixed into complexity by the sheer magnitude of possibility bore a suitable challenge to keep someone of even his superb level occupied and stimulated.

His opponent made a move. This delicate, slow movement was likely thought hundreds, possibly thousands of moves ahead, and in his own mind he also considered hundreds, even thousands of moves ahead, as far ahead as he cared to consider before growing bored.

Selecting a method, he executed it, ignoring the way the ground shook.

His... other companions probably could have played this game quite well. Almost at the level currently being shown, if not above it if they truly focused.

Another rumbling of the ground, signaling another nearby explosion, did nothing to move the pieces, which were all being psychically held in perfect position.

"Should we stop them?" His opponent asked.

"No. I'm not sure we could, anyway, not the two of them together. It would take most of the Ancient Legendaries to stop... their playtime."

"One almost has trouble imagining that something so cute would have so much power..." Alakazam moved a piece on the board, nodding to himself. He may have been outstripped in raw mental power, but the simplicity of the game and his relative age to the recently born MewTwo gave him at least a fighting chance.

"Yes..." At that moment a crash destroyed the stone overhang that had been shielding the two players from direct sunlight.

"Mew, memew!" 'Oh, sorry!'

"Miyah!" 'Gotcha!' As the pink kitten teleported back to the sky to rejoin her own 'game', MewTwo attempted to repair his shelter. He was getting sadly accustomed to it.

"That's the so-called Chosen One... isn't it?"

MewTwo almost groaned... almost. "Yes." And both games moved

End End End

Thought of and Written by Isilithix (it's a nice long one):

Road to Nami no Kuni(Land of Waves)

Team Seven had been traveling for a couple hours since the Oni Kyodai(Demon Brothers) had attacked them and their charge, Tazuna, whilst escorting him back to his home country. Apparently he had a bounty on his head, and had neglected to tell the Hokage. The reason? Well, as it turned out, Nami no Kuni had no money. A short, fat, worm of a man named Gatô taken control of the country and basically choked into submission. Tazuna was their only hope.

Thankfully for his team, and his heart, nothing else had happened yet-

Pfft!

Hatake Kakashi turned his head around at his blonde pupil, who had just thrown a kunai into a bush on the side of the road, so fast; he thought that his neck had snapped.

"Naruto!" His pink haired student roared at him. "What was that for?"

"Something's there!" The blonde whined, trying to cover for his moment of stupidity. Kakashi slowly made his way to the bush, pushed aside the leaves…and sweat dropped. There, in the bush, was a dead snow hare. Naruto's kunai had sliced through its neck, not even giving it a chance to squeal in pain before it died. Picking it up, he turned around to show his students and their charge the casualty of the blonde's stupidity.

"Naruto!" Sakura gasped softly, obviously shocked that the blonde had killed an innocent rabbit. "H-How could you?" The blonde tried to defend himself, but the pink haired girl he crushed heavily on wouldn't listen, and proceeded to lay into him with a pink mallet, the head shaped like a flower with a green stem(the painted handle) that had the kanji for 'Fuck you!' written on said stem.

"Sakura! Wait!" The silver haired man was too late. He watched as the pink haired girl raced towards the blonde, who began to cower, before she swung the mallet at him like a golf club…there was a second of complete silence…and then, the blonde shot off into the sky, his screams drowned out by the eardrum shattering sound and a rush of wind. Having had to shut his eye due to the dust, when he opened it, Kakashi could only see a small blip high above the now three man team and their charge; and by the looks of it, the poor blonde was still climbing.

"Sakura," he began "that was wrong. He didn't mean to kill the rabbit." The girl hadn't heard him, her ears were probably still ringing from the sonic boom that she had produced when she had slammed her now conveniently missing mallet into the team's loudest member. Unfortunately, or fortunately…he couldn't decide which one it was…she didn't get a chance to answer as a large sword flew towards them.

"Duck!"

00oo00

With Naruto, Ten Minutes After Lift Off

00oo00

Naruto screwed his eyes shut as he fell at break neck speed towards a lake that had literally formed out of nowhere, at least to him it did. 'This is going to hurt…' he told himself as he fell. Suddenly, the dark world that was the inside of his eyelids, turned red. Taking the chance of opening his eyes, Naruto suddenly found himself staring at an entirely red world. The clouds were red, the ground-err-lake was red, and apparently there was a small red dot with a small red blob…that suddenly increased to a large red blob…he shut his eyes as pain encompassed his body as he slammed into the water at a high rate of speed.

00oo00

Kakashi watched in horror as a red beam suddenly shot down next to Zabuza and himself. It was powerful, too powerful to be a jutsu, especially from one of his students. It worried him. 'At least it freed me from that jutsu.' Both he and Zabuza had jumped back and away from where the beam had impacted the water's surface. And if that wasn't enough, he was almost sure that he had seen Naruto in the red beam. 'The Kyuubi?' he asked, worried that the seal had broken.

Suddenly, the beam dissipated. The surface must have been flash boiled when the beam of red light struck it, because there were a lot of bubbles forming and surfacing from where the beam had struck it. Kakashi and the Nuke-nin were surprised when an off creature popped up from the water, swimming as fast as it could to get to shore. Both Nin were shocked to see that the creature had yellow fur with a small orange spiral on its back.

"What the hell?" Zabuza asked. Kakashi's eyes twitched, but his train of thought was exactly similar to the Kirigakure Nuke-nin's. As they watched the small rabbit like creature crawl out and on to shore, a blue blur landed beside the yellow furred creature and picked it up.

"HAKU!" Zabuza yelled angrily at the new arrival. Kakashi took a closer look at the blue clad figure and realized it was an Oi-nin(Hunter-Nin) from Kirigakure…or, that was what it looked like. Said Oi-Niun looked over at Zabuza and waved happily at him…and that was when Kakashi figured it out. The Oi-Nin was in cahoots with Zabuza. Meaning it was a fake, with a passion for cute little rabbit like animals. "Damn it!" Kakashi looked back at the Nuke-Nin he had been fighting, as he cursed and snapped his fingers savagely. "Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have allowed her to have a pet!" The Nuke-Nin jumped towards the Oi-Nin, leaving Kakashi hanging. "We'll finish this later, Kakashi!"

00oo00

Later that night with Zabuza and Haku

00oo00

"So." Gatô began, smirking down at the infamous Nuke-Nin he had hired and his little wench…who oddly enough, was not paying any attention to him or his two guards as she hugged the stuffing out of a yellow colored rabbit, which was consistently trying to get away from her. "Even the great 'Demon of the Mist' couldn't deal with a group of Genin, eh?"

"Shut up, Gatô!" The pissed off, masked man snarled at the short, fat, worm of a man; scaring the man and his guards stiff. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit! In case you haven't noticed, I have a defective tool here!" Turning back to the dark haired girl, Haku, who had at first told the short man that she was a he, the Nuke-Nin ripped into her. "And what the hell was that about? You were supposed to be there for assistance if needed!" The girl's answer was to flick him off, shocking the raging man into silence.

"They killed my bunny…" The girl stated softly, still struggling to hold her new pet, who was still trying to escape. "…so I found a new one." Taking a candy from a bowl that had somehow appeared out of nowhere, she gave the rabbit looking creature an orange treat…the odd creature calmed down instantly.

"Mi~yah…" Blue eyes entering a slightly off kilter trance as it calmed down.

"…Give me that thing!" Zabuza went to grab the odd creature that Haku had picked up from the lake's shoreline only to have a small obsidian gem that was oddly enough embedded in the creature's forehead light up in a creepy purple fashion, as did its blue eyes. "…oh shit!"

"Miii…" Zabuza ducked instinctively. "YAAAAHHH!" A wide purple beam shot out of the creature's forehead and sailed over the Nuke-Nin. A large explosion signified that the beam hit something, and from the pieces of wood and furniture falling all around him, Zabuza decided that the beam had to have been extremely powerful. Turning over on his back, the Nuke-Nin looked at the devastation with wide eyes. Gatô and his weak guards had been completely obliterated by the purple beam.

"Pah…Pah…Pah…Pah~" The Nuke-Nin looked back at the tired yellow creature in his tool's hands who, oddly enough, had her eyes closed and was petting the creature from Hell contently.

"Um…Haku?" Zabuza began. The girl only cocked her head at him, eyes still closed. "Do…Do you think you can control him?" The girl nodded and handed the creature another orange treat, who greedily accepted it and began to purr. 'Yeah…Okay…I think I need to lay off the drink binges. Purring rabbits…yeah right.' "…I…I guess it can stay."

"Yay!" The girl chirped happily, before standing up and holding her new pet high above her head, making it look insanely cute with its mouth full of candy and its body hanging below its head. "I'm going to name you Murasaki-Chan(Purple)! And I'm going to love you and kiss you and hug you and feed you and play with you forever and ever, Murasaki-Chan!" The creature seemed to dislike it's new name.

"Why Murasaki? It's yellow!" Zabuza asked. The raven haired girl looked at her master and smiled at him cutely…which had no effect on him…before replying to his question.

"Yes, but her attacks are purple!"

"Uh…Haku…"

"Yes, Zabuza-sama?" The girl blinked at him. The Nuki-Nin pointed at the yellow creature in her hands. She brought the creature down to her eye level before humming in confusion.

"I don't think it's a girl." Zabuza stated.

"How do you figure?" The girl asked. Zabuza slapped his forehead.

"I mean that it's got a pair of…oh never mind!" The tired, angry and extremely confused Nuke-Nin grumbled out before turning around and walking off, not caring about the damage done to their tree house. "I'm going to sleep."

Haku looked at her master, but soon went back to staring at her new pet. Murasaki started to struggle, and Haku saw that it had crossed it's legs. Realizing what the poor creature needed to do, she put Murasaki on the floor and watched it jump(extremely fast by the way) off in search of a place to do business. Unfortunately for Haku, her new pet stopped to do its business in front of her, which made her gag slightly…but that later turned from a grossed out expression to a look of clarification as her pet lifted its leg and took a leak…right on the small piles of ash that had been Gatô and his guards. She chuckled. "Good boy Murasaki-Kun!" She amended as she cheered her pet for humiliating Gatô. 'If only he had done that before destroying him…' she thought cheerfully.

00oo00

Two Days Later - Bridge

00oo00

Zabuza sighed when he saw Hatake Kakashi and his two students. Obviously the third one had died from the vicious attack his teammate had dealt unto him for killing Pinku-Chan. The snow hare. However, if he had survived the attack, Haku would have castrated him before taking his life for killing her fiftieth pet. 'As long as she doesn't find out that we've eaten forty-nine of them, then I'm safe…' he thought before shaking his head. "Halt, Kakashi." He spoke to the silver haired man. "We have no need for conflict today."

"Is that so?" The silver haired man asked. "And why would that be?" Before Zabuza could answer him, a new voice entered the scene.

"You bastard Zabuza!" Both men, the teen wearing the Oi-Nin mask, the two remaining preteens and the bridge builder and his crew all looked over towards the end of the bridge and saw a large group of thugs standing there. "You killed Gatô! Our meal ticket!" The leader yelled out angrily. "Now, we'll get out revenge!" The man turned back to his comrades and began to shout at them. "Remember! Don't kill the girls, subdue them! We can use them before selling them!" A sudden burst of energy, three times as dangerous as the Kyuubi's chakra suddenly appeared. Kakashi and his team, as well as Tazuna, all watched as the faux Oi-Nin's oddly colored pet jumped from the girl's arms and raced out to meet the thugs.

"Miyah mi-miyah!" Suddenly, one oddly colored rabbit thing turned into forty oddly colored rabbit things which caused Kakashi to gasp as realization hit him like a sack of moldy potatoes. But, before he could do anything about it, he noticed as the odd rabbit creatures had begun to quiver and shake before forty beams of purple energy shot out towards the thugs.

They didn't have time to scream…or blink.

Everyone on the bridge saw the explosion but no one could hear it. The collective sound of the blast, that had also erased a fifth of the bridge as well as eradicating the thugs, had temporarily made them all deaf.

It was nearly two minutes of silence and then five minutes of annoying ringing in his ears before Kakashi could say anything. However, it was already too late; for the yellow rabbit creature of death and destruction with the orange swirl on it's back was already in the arms of the fake Oi-Nin…mewing…happily before receiving an orange candy. The girl lifted up her mask and kissed the odd rabbit-cat…the cabbit…on the head. The yellow cabbit spat out the orange candy into its small paws before licking the girl's nose and then mewed before popping the candy back into its mouth.

'…Have fun, Naruto.' The silver haired man thought as he watched the cabbit he was certain was his oddest and loudest pupil. 'Have fun.' He watched the Nuke-Nin and fake Oi-Nin disappear, Naruto-cabbit with them.

Ten minutes had passed before the people of Nami no Kuni heard earth rendering screams of fear. Kakashi had just realized that the Sandiame was going to have to hear of this whole fiasco.

00oo00

Konohagakure - Two Weeks Later

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"…do you think I'm an idiot, Kakashi?" The elderly leader of Konohagakure snapped at the silver haired man. "Red beams of light don't just appear out of thin air and change little boys into cat-rabbits!"

"Cabbits, sir." Kakashi corrected automatically. The Hokage glared at him even harder, which shut him up.

"Hatake Kakashi! For not only losing track of your student, who by the way happens to have a whole organization full of S-rank Nuke-Nin who want to control the Biju for some unknown reason; and then refusing to look for him before returning home; I m hereby demoting you to Genin rank! You will be stationed under Maito Gai, and you will not be able to participate in the Chuunin Exams for as long as Naruto is missing!" Hiruzen decreed, shocking the silver haired man.

"B-But…But who will teach Sasuke and Sakura?" He asked.

"Yamato." Kakashi could only blink.

"Hokage-sama, Yamato reporting for duty!" Kakashi looked at the man who had interrupted the meeting slash demotion with a hidden, one eyed glare. Said man waved at him with a sad, strained smile.

"Yamato!" Hiruzen barked, the new Jounin instructor snapping to attention. "Team Seven is now under your control. A new teammate will be added whenever I can find one. For now, it's just the three of you." The man nodded. "You are to meet your team tomorrow at seven in the morning at the Academy. That is all." The man nodded, bowed, and turned around.

As he passed Kakashi, he heard the newly minted Jounin instructor mutter something to himself. "I will earn your respect, Hokage-sama…and then…I will be loved!" Kakashi shuttered heavily. As soon as the man left, Maito Gai entered, looked at him, and shook his head with a sigh.

"You have fallen far from the path of youthfulness." The green dressed man said softly. "But I, Maito Gai, will rekindle those flames of youthfulness! Come Kakashi-Kun! We must started now!" Kakashi wasn't given a chance to do anything other than contain a gag as the man picked him up like a board, bowed to the Hokage and then left the tower in a blur.

'D-Damn you Naruto!' The silver haired man cursed mentally. 'Because of you, I'm in Hell!'