It's Better That You Know

By: Amy Elizabeth

Disclaimer: People, places, potions, ect. = Not mine.

A/N: I've decided that if I'm going to pick up again, I'm going to tackle the list of things I wanted to try a long time ago; one was the bridge of RLNT from the Hospital Scene to the end of HBP. Thank you so much everyone for the very nice welcome back! I appreciated all of the responses for Getting to the Mustard!

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Remus found her sitting on a desk in an empty classroom. His old classroom.

"In a castle this large I could've gone some place you'd never find me." She didn't look away from the window she was peering out, "Instead, I picked a place where you might be able to. Call it hopeful masochism. " She grimaced, "Though being in his classroom is a bit disgusting."

Stifling his anger at the recently fled Snape, Remus settled into a seat a row back from her, "Tonks…I…"

A small smile flitted across her features as she spoke over him, "You know, the last time I threw a fit like that in the Hospital Wing I was 12. I didn't want to take Pepper Up Potion. Never did like the taste." She cocked her head, "I still don't actually."

A furrow appeared between his brows, "Tonks, are you doing alright?"

"I'm as well as anyone is right now."

"You look thin." He tried to keep the almost accusatory concern out of his voice.

"You look thin too." She gave a humorless chuckle, "Really, I just haven't had as much of Molly's cooking as I was getting. Which is a very valid reason for losing weight; I believe you got to experience my household skills."

"And what I've heard about your morphs- is it true?"

A small sigh, "Yea."

"And the Patronus…."

"Yep."

She didn't offer any more explanation to his half-formed question so he let the silence stretch for a moment as he waited.

Giving up, he continued, "To be honest, I was prepared for you to continue to argue with me, Tonks. Have you finally given up?" He couldn't help sounding a little nervous, despite his long-standing, fervent insistence that she should indeed do just that.

A deeper smile stretched across her face, "Actually, I was expecting to fight you too, and I don't mean just argue. I was prepared to physically beat into you what I appear to be unable to get through to you verbally."

The, for the first time since he had entered the room, she turned away from the window and towards him, a sudden light burning in her eyes, "But I realized I've said everything I can. I've said it every way I can; I've said it coyly, with passion, anger, desperately, I've pleaded, I've made jokes, I've shouted it, I'm pretty sure I've even whispered it, I might have even said it in Spanish. Hell, I'd learn to say it in Mermish if I thought it would change anything!"

She stopped, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she continued her voice was softer, more resigned, "But it wouldn't and I've argued with you enough. So no more rants, no more pleading or reasoning…I promise. All I am going to say from now on is 'I love you'. It will be as plain and simple as that. I will say, 'I love you' and you can say 'You shouldn't', if you'd like, and then we can keep right on going with our lives."

"Tonks…"

"I know I might not be able to change your mind, Remus." She snapped, before continuing more gently, "But I will make sure that you know that I love you. You cannot take that from me." Then with a sudden lightness the corner of her lip tugged up, "We can practice now. I love you, Remus." She extended her hand as if cuing him to finish the line.

"You know, it might help if you said it in Mermish."

She froze. For a moment Remus thought his joke had finally pushed her over the edge and prepared for the anger he had been expecting since he had walked into the classroom. Instead, slowly, the other corner of her mouth drew up and she started silently shaking. Soon that shaking grew more pronounced until a burst of laughter escaped and was followed by another, and another, until tears were gathering in the corners of her crinkled eyes as she gasped for breath, "You are an absolute, hopeless git!"

He smiled as he watched her laugh, "But I love you too, Tonks."

The shift in mood was palatable, "What?" A sudden pain flashed across her no longer smiling face, her voice abruptly accusatory, "Why are you saying that? I can't take you telling me you love me just to say that it doesn't matter; that it doesn't mean we can be together. That's not fair, Remus." Her eyes closed with a tired expression, the fight gone as suddenly as it began, "You are going to be the death of me."

"Probably." His voice echoed the pain he had seen in her face, causing her to reopen her eyes, "And I am about to take everything from you. In the most selfish act I can imagine, I am about to ruin your life and can only hope you don't end up resenting me for the rest of our natural lives." He frowned, his lips twisting into a sort of anxious grimace, "But I do want to be with you, 'Dora. Minerva was right; we could use a little more love in this world."

Eyes wide, her mouth went slack before she murmured, "You know, when I pictured you finally saying that, I sort of imagined a more romantic scene." Her chest heaved once with another dry laugh, "One where you would admit how wrong you were and how much you adored me. You'd scoop me up in your arms and kiss me breathless." A self-conscience, uncertain smirk, "I like that version better, Remus. Just so you know."

"Hm, I imagine one would." He reached his hand towards her, "Now, shall we go get some tea from the kitchen? It's going to be morning soon and there is going to be a lot to take care of." He grabbed her hand off the desk and his voice grew softer, "Then we can go home."

He began towards the door, hand still holding hers, until her dead weight yanked him to a stop, "Wait. What is going on?" Her arm stretched out to accommodate the distance between them as she refused to move, "You're really telling me you're back? Just like this?" Her eyes unfocused as her breathing grew a little harsh and shallow, "And tea? We're just going to go get tea? Tea, Remus?"

His brow furrowed further, "This is what you want, isn't it, Dora?"

A frantic look overtook her face, "I do! But two minutes ago I agreed to stop bugging you about it and then you suddenly give in. Kind of. That was barely a declaration of love, you know, about half of what you said was incredibly negative. But now everything is back to normal like you never left? Bugger it, Remus, you just went from turning my life on its end to offering me tea!"

A beat passed and he sighed, "I'm sorry. You're right, it isn't fair to just avoid the unpleasant side of this." A sad, weary look slipped into his eyes, "So much of me tells me this is wrong, that I'm destroying what little you can still have in times like these. It makes it hard for me to enjoy this moment as much as I would like to." He grimaced, looking almost apologetic, "However, you are right again, if I have made this decision, I should stick to it." He crossed back closer to her, his hand dropping hers to cradle itself against her neck, "I swear to do my best to ignore these doubts and do what I can to make you happy." Watching her eyes, he leaned into a brief kiss, pulling back a second later as he heard her breath catch a little, his eyes still sad, "And no, unfortunately, things can't go back to normal. This is going to be uncomfortable. I'm not sure of what to do, how to touch you, be with you, anymore. I doubt you will be able to accept my presence back in your life with any less awkwardness." At her sudden, deep frown he continued before she could argue, "But we'll take small steps and it will come." His eyes softened, "I do love you, Tonks."

She stuttered for a second, uncertain of how to respond, "I…I love you too." Then, her wide-eyed surprise melting into a hesitant smile, she answered, "This definitely isn't what I expected but, if I do have you back, I suppose some tea would be an acceptable first step." The smile grew, "And some of your toast, I still burn mine."

Smiling, he pulled her along with him towards the door, pausing once to pull her in for another small kiss, "Toast it is then."