A week of staring at the dingy monochromatic walls of my safe haven made me realize how truly foolish I had been.

Mulling over the event brought a few things to my attention.

First: I love Him more than I had originally thought.

Second: He couldn't love me in return. Love isn't something the executioner has a capacity for.

What I hadn't realized before was that he wants me. Wants me more than he wants to kill the order soldiers, wants me more than he wants to fuck the nurses…

The third realization I had come to was this: He wants me more than he has ever wanted anything.

To God, want is the equivalent of love.

I deducted that this wanting was unfamiliar territory for Him. He had attempted to show me his trust by bringing me to His domain, and I had thrown his attempt in his face by denying him. I had shattered everything with my misguided refusal.

If I had only figured this out in those brief moments; I could be tasting the marble flesh of God instead of my stale, salty tears.

My only choice is to see Him out and ask for forgiveness.

I had forced Him to His knees and I had dangled that which He most desires right in front of Him, just out of reach.

God may not be compassionate, but perhaps He will forgive His shadow.

-0-

In that week of reflection, I had once again been transformed by the town. Shadows had been solace when I first woke up in this nightmare town; I am now becoming the shadows, bending them to my will.

The streets of Silent Hill are unusually quiet in the ashy dusk. I can't hear the screams of patients, the groans of the old buildings, not even the harsh scrape of the great knife.

Nothing.

I stand in an alleyway off Main Street trying to remember the way to God's lair. I wish I hadn't acted like such a fool around him, or I might actually have some sort of direction right now.

"Excuse me, are you alright?"

Hearing a voice, a human voice, startles me out of my daze.

Hazel eyes widen first in surprise, then in fear as I turn my face to his. I cringe against the bright beam of the newcomer's flashlight. A muttered curse and a slight fumbling around to get the light out of my face lets me know this person is a man. Far too clumsy to be one of the Order.

A victim of this cursed town.

"What are you doing here?"

His voice is young and innocent sounding. I relax and lean against the alleyway wall.

"I should be asking you the same questions." My throat feels like sandpaper and my voice is barely a raspy whisper. Not talking really took its toll on my vocal cords.

I can hear his heartbeat accelerating steadily. I'm surprised he hasn't attacked me yet. I am one of the more human looking monstrosities, but a monstrosity none the less.

"Who are you?" His voice trembles slightly.

"I have forgotten."

"…What are you?"

I find a small smile curling my lips. "I am nothing."

He takes a cautious half-step forward. "Look, my name is Sam. I've been trapped in this town…Well, I don't know how long. Times kinda funny here, you know? I'm trying to get out. Can you help me?"

I push off the wall and take a step forward. I can smell the sweat pouring off of him and the blood running through his veins. I reach out my cold hand and place it lightly on his shoulder.

"Sam, what is your sin?"

He pulls away so quickly you'd think I burned him.

"How the Hell did you know about that? Just who the fuck are you?"

"What is your full name Sam?" My voice breaks halfway through the sentence back into a breathy whisper.

"The fuck do you care?"

"Do you want to escape this town or not?"

He falters for a second, allowing hope to glitter in his fearful eyes.

"Samuel Tovar."

The edges of my vision blur, and it's like I'm watching a film.

A young girl with a bright yellow backpack is pedaling a bicycle down a deserted sidewalk. Honey hair is pushed back out of her face by the wind.

This is who I was.

The facial features are unmistakable. A pretty face contorted by a look of blind fear.

What happened to me?

Time slows as the car swipes the bike and the girl (I can't bring myself to call her me; she's far too innocent) is sent tumbling towards the ground.

Then there is him.

Her arm is badly twisted, broken, so he grabs her by the hair and throws her into the backseat of the car. She's crying, pleading him to let her go. He punches her so hard her nose breaks, a torrent of blood pours down her face and soaks into her delicate white shirt.

I want to tear his miserable throat out as he calmly drives through a small town and into a deserted forest. She's in the backseat, clinging to consciousness and sputtering up blood between sobs.

The camp is deserted as the car rolls to a stop. He cuts the engine and climbs almost gracefully into the backseat. He locks the doors, making sure his actions are in full view.

A torrent of blood, tears, and piss rush from her body as he pushes her down on the seats. He pulls off her soiled shorts and undergarments with a disgusted look on his face.

"You bitch. I'm going to have to clean this whole mess up you know."

"Why me?" Her eyes are clenched shut, as if to will it all away. "Why are you doing this to me?"

He didn't give me an answer.

I screamed and begged and pleaded as that son of a bitch violated me. I cried and spat and fought, but he only taunted me. Finally I just stopped moving, waiting for it to be over.

"I've watched you for so long," his disgusting breath was in my hair, his raspy voice frightened me more than I thought possible, "So, so long."

The last word comes out as a moan and moments later, he is off of me and dragging me from the car.

My knees crack on the rough wood of the dock, but all my throat can manage is a hoarse croak. My entire body is on fire with pain, and I wished he would just fucking finish it already.

"How long did you think you could tease me from the shadows without me knowing, huh? Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and I still don't. I never even looked at that disgusting piece of filth in my life.

"Well," his chuckle was mirthless; a mix of madness and anger, "none of that really matters now. I got you in the end. You'll never be able to hide from me. Not ever again."

There was water, lots of it. I don't know if he knocked me unconscious or I just fainted myself. I was raped and murdered that night, and the innocence in me died.

Then, I was reborn into this body; into this nightmare town. Born again with no memories, blissfully unaware of the events of that night.

"Samuel Tovar." I repeat in a low voice.

"Did I stutter? Look bitch, are you going to help me out or not?"

I push my curtain of black hair away from my face and stare up at him with my hell darkened eyes.

He opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't get the chance.

The siren rings through the town and the darkness is right on its heels. Dearest Sam is so smothered in shadow that he can't even protest as I roughly drag him through the blackened streets.

I suddenly know exactly where my executioner is.

The demons follow us through the streets, clawing, biting, and spitting on Sam the whole way. I can feel him writhe beneath my fingertips and grin.

"Why Sam, whatever is the matter?"

His choked scream of fear sends delicious shivers coursing through my body.

I never imagined that revenge could be this satisfying.

I throw the doors to the historical society open and descend into the depths. The pitch darkness swallows us both.

I note with extreme satisfaction the wet spot on the front of dear Sam's pants. I pick up the pace, nearly skipping to God's lair.

A hum of joy escapes my chest as I turn the knob to His door. I walk in reverently, head bowed, a small smile dancing on my lips.

I throw the slimy bastard against the wall and shackle him there with shadows.

"You are going to pay dearly for what you have done to me."

Adrenaline courses through Sam's veins one more time, "And what the fuck are you going to do to me you cunt?"

Screech

His eyes widen in fear once again, and I bare my teeth in a malicious grin.

"I'm not going to touch you, you piece of filth."

I turn to the door and smile when I see Him stalk over to us.

I jump when I feel Him brush against me. I look up at him and smile, entwining our fingers together.

Kill him my little Shadow.

I am all too eager to obey.

Sam's right arm is wrenched from his body by my shadows; the spray coats everything in blood. Sam shrieks, and I'm fairly certain its one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard.

The left arm goes next, then his left leg. All the pieces of him lay about the room; he is a dismembered nightmare doll.

A soon to be dead nightmare doll.

His right leg goes, and he hangs by the shadow noose around his neck. The gurgling sounds last for a minute before the torso stills and the room goes quiet.

Quite the mess you've made of my room little Shadow.

I look up at my God. The marble statue of perfection I have longed to have for so long. I can't tell him I love him, he wouldn't understand the gravity behind those words.

"I want you."

The rust covered walls, the stagnant smell of blood, and the metallic screeches of the otherworld seem to fade away.

The flesh of God tastes sweeter that I ever imagined.

Until there is no need for us we will stalk the streets of Silent Hill. Until we cease to exist I will follow Him, and He will always peer into the shadows, looking for me, watching me.

It is a bittersweet ending.

I'll never get married, never have children, and never live out a normal life.

I'll never hear the person I love mumble 'I love you' when I'm held against his chest.

But, in the sleepless nights when He roars my name in the throes of passion, I know that I wouldn't want to live any other life but this.

I am His. He possesses every aspect of me, and I gladly succumb.

I am devout, unwavering in my loyalty to Him.

I am God's Shadow.

-0-

Alright everyone, sorry about not updating in a while. I'm sorry this fic was so damn angsty! XD. It got a bit sappier at the end that I had originally wanted, but I think it's somehow fitting. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.