A/N: Yes, this is only ever randomly resurrected Yes, this should give you hope that it will continue to RANDOMLY have chapter published. No, do not expect me to do this very often. I love you all, readers. Thank you for putting up with me.

EQ

Lust crossed her arms before her bodacious chest and sighed, "You like a human, don't you?" she asked Envy as he sat in a chair across from her, legs crossed over the arm.

"She's a pet, dear," he spat, "I play with her when I'm bored. Nothing more than a dog to me really, or a snake."

"Hmph," Lust began strutting toward her fellow homunculi, "you know Wrath and the rest of us don't believe that."

He shrugged, "Gluttony and Sloth don't seem to have a problem with it."

She stomped a foot and looked at the grand doors behind her, they were standing in the Fuhrer's study and Gluttony was probably waiting outside for her. "You know those two are less…. Developed than the rest of us."

"I thought you were Lust, not Pride, speaking of Pride, where is he? Last I heard he left us to go hang around a pack of mutants."

Lust tsk'd and spun on her heel, sensing the lost cause. "Don't let your infatuation become serious. We're not like them, Envy."

"I swear to God, I'm going to die." Kira was lying face down in snow, rolling about, writhing in her own misery. "Why are you guys taking me here? I hate the cold. You know I hate the cold. It makes me all… cold. You guys are the worst." She looked at Ed who was holding back his laughter upon watching her mental breakdown, "and the shortest. Yeah, Ed, you're the tiniest goddamn runt I've ever seen, you're only called full metal because 'Pipsqueak' wasn't formal enough, hear that? Pipsqueak!"

Ed lost his grin, "I told you, I am not a pipsqueak!"

"Say that when you grow a few inches, short stuff! I bet this girl you're trying to save doesn't like short guys like you!"

"At least she likes humans!"

"At least Envy's taller than me!"

The banter continued for several minutes, and Alphonse quietly entertained himself by drawing cartoons in the snow. By the time he'd gotten to the climax of the story he was illustrating, Kira and Ed's conflict had started dying down.

"I told you," Kira said slowly, "what happened that time in Central wasn't my fault!"

Ed's eyes locked on a figure behind Kira before he could respond with a declaration, that yes, in fact, it was her fault. His jaw tensed. "Who are you?" he shouted into the distance.

Kira spun around and smiled. Oh her boy had come back at last. Rather, her homunculi. But, potayto, potahto.

"I've gotten into a lot of trouble because of you little girl," he cooed from some distance, "you're lucky I've got use for you, otherwise I might've had to end your pathetic existence."

Oh my, how endearing. Kira had to stop herself from swooning. She blushed, realizing that Ed and AL were probably listening to Envy publically shame her existence.

"Thanks, my boy, I appreciate the fact you've picked up the lesser-than-thou atmosphere I'm supposedly giving off."

"Lesser than I indeed," he mused still getting closer, "hey, hey, hey, Elric brothers, and how are my two least favourite scum of the earth on this fine day?" he asked casually with a two finger salute.

Al stopped drawing his comic he had entitled 'Tortie Tortoise, the Life and Times' and stood, joining Ed behind Kira.

"Get any closer and you won't like us much more than you do already," Ed barked at the blasphemy before them.

Even shrugged, changing his form into that of a young blonde woman, bandana on her head, overalls on, and some grease smudges up her arms. She appeared to be a mechanic, or an apprentice of one at least.

"Winry," Ed gaped.

"She's still safe at home," Envy mused, "All they reported was me being 'kidnapped'."

Okay, Kira decided, he was a bit of a douche. But god help her if she didn't love him anyway.

Ed turned around and looked at the path they had forged up the mountainside, it had all been pointless?

"However," Envy added, "I have plans for you two, and although we're not in Central right now…" envy shrugged, "We can get you there."

"What are you talking about?" Ed growled.

Kira took a step towards Envy and sighed, stop being a dick Envy, she thought, I know they come on strong but these guys are kind of my best friends.

Ed reached forward and grabbed Kira's hand. "Don't you go to him," he hissed, "Not now."