Title: Sticks and Stones may brake my bones and love will always hurt me.

Paring: Ianto/Jack

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Language, sexual situations, angst, drama

Series: Series two, spoilers for Cyber woman in this chapter, ill note when I have a spoiler in each chapter

Chapter Info: He also thought of all those times before things had started to be ok for him, when he would feel such anxiety from going through those doors, always worried that he would walk through to find every gun trained on him and Jack screaming to know why there was a cyber woman laying around in his basement. Wasn't too dissimilar to the real thing actually. Funny old world.

A/N: Well this is my very first fic, I've never written anything for anyone other than my university and collage teachers and of course my mother so I hope I wont mess up too badly lol. I hope that your will like what I do and please if you have anything to say in the way of improvements in my writing then please let me know, I would greatly appreciate it!

When Ianto Jones woke up on the 2nd of October it was a completely normal day. There was sun shining through the window, its curtains neglected to be shut in the frantic sex rush of the night before. The empty and cold space next to him was normal too, it never surprised him to see that Jack had quickly vacated the premises as soon as he fell asleep. Of course staying in a nice warm bed with a fairly good looking man for the night was far too domestic for Jack Harkness, so heaven forbid. Stupid Bastard.

The silence that was once occupied by the sounds of heaving breathing, begging and pleasured cries now hung heavy in the air, pinning Ianto to the sheets where he lay. It was also normal for Ianto to wake up before his alarm went off which should happen in three, two, one….The clanging of bells of Ianto's comically sized alarm clock forced him to roll over into Jack's cold space and flick the little switch and silence the infernal noise. Heaving a great sigh that seemed to shudder his whole body Ianto threw himself back onto his back and looked up at the ceiling, soon closing his eyes again. Contrary to popular belief Ianto hated getting up in the mornings, hated it with a passion. When he lived at home with his parents, even when he lived with Lisa, they had all learned quickly that a chipper 'Good morning!!!'' was the worst thing to do to Ianto first thing, and expecting speech from him, well there was more chance of Owen thanking him for every thankless task he did.

What was not normal about this day was Ianto's complete and utter sense of dread that seemed to come over his very soul as he lay in bed thinking about the mundaness of his life, by Torchwood standards at least. The feeling that over came him was both unexpected and unusual, normally Ianto was too distracted by his wish to still be asleep to feel anything other than the need to pee so this, this was a special. Or damning depending on your POV.

But this feeling, the feeling of foreboding was hanging over him like a cartoon cloud, ready to strike a bolt of lightning at him the moment his attention was distracted. He was getting paranoid, great. Then again if you worked for Torchwood and didn't expect everything and everyone to be out to get you then that was when you needed to start thinking about talking to your nearest medical officer.

Groaning Ianto finally pulled back the covers and swung his legs out of bed, standing and stretching his arms high above his head, feeling the well used muscles protest slightly at being used so soon. He really didn't know how flexible he was until he met Jack. Rubbing his eyes with his fists he dragged his feet into his adjoining bathroom to switch on the shower and take a slash.

Standing under the almost scolding hot water Ianto again let his mind roam over the planes and cliffs that made up his thoughts. The dreaded feeling was still clinging to him, still trying to sink its claws into him and it was doing a pretty good job. Why was no day an easy day? If it wasn't some alien trying to create mass panic and sell the human race into slavery it was feeling like the world was going to come crashing down around his ears. There was something about today, something about it was getting to him even before it had happened, like an itch that he couldn't quite reach. Whatever it was it needed to hurry up and get over and done with, if he was going to die or something he would rather it be before he went through all the effort of getting to work, although dying naked in the shower didn't pose as having a lot of dignity in it either when he thought about it.

By the time Ianto was dressed and making coffee in his kitchen he had all but given up on trying to work out the feeling, coming to the conclusion that it would just be better to either ignore it or become one with it as he did so often with his other feelings of burning pain and unfathomable regret. Looking at the clock ticking on his wall, Ianto made his eyes follow the seconds hand, letting himself be mesmerised by its steady journey around the clock. He needed to be that hand, travelling on a never ending circle, travelling and not really getting anywhere but accomplishing its task with undoubted proficiency. He needed to keep on ticking because there was nothing else for him, there was no other reason to keep on travelling around the face that was the clock of life.

Ok now he was getting pathetic, the face that was the clock of life? Who the hell thought like that? Actually he could rather see Jack's mind working like that.

Laughing a little to himself Ianto finally and reluctantly grabbed everything he would need to perform as the Jeeves of Torchwood and stepped out of his front door, gently shutting and locking it behind him. The cloud followed him out.

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As Ianto stepped into the lift to take him down into the Hub he thought about all the times he had stood on this same spot and couldn't wait to step though the cog door and see Myfanwy flying over head, see Jack's office light on, knowing the man would be there waiting for him, to give him his morning dose of kisses and fondling. He also thought of all those times before things had started to be ok for him, when he would feel such anxiety from going through those doors, always worried that he would walk through to find every gun trained on him and Jack screaming to know why there was a cyber woman laying around in his basement. Wasn't too dissimilar to the real thing actually. Funny old world.

As the alarms went off to alert all and sundry to his presence Ianto couldn't suppress the urge to lift his eyes to Jack's office, trying to find any trace of the man who was always residing somewhere in his thoughts. What surprised him was the lack of Glenn Miller oozing like hot honey from the open door of the office, the lack of lamp light, the lack of gentle singing, the lack of well, Jack.

There was no movement other than the light rustling of Myfanwy in her nest and the blipping and beeping of the Hub machinery, letting everyone know 'yes we are still working! No the world wont end quiet yet,' There was only one conclusion, Jack wasn't there. The idea in itself was almost laughable, after all what else did the Capitan have to do other than monitor the Hub or standing on a roof looking broody? Its not like he was going to pop down the shop for a pint of milk, that was one of Ianto's meaningless jobs after all and no one, especially not Jack would stoop to doing it that was for sure. So that still begged the question as to where Jack was.

Ianto set about making a coffee for himself, lamenting at the missing blue and white striped mug he normally prepared every morning. The oddness of the situation only seemed to intensify his worries, unable to think of any real reason why Jack would have left the Hub for anything other than an emergency and there was no rift alert on any of the monitors. It was really starting to irritate Ianto now, where the hell was Jack?? It made no sense to him at all and Ianto really didn't like it when he didn't know something. It was his job to know everything, to be proficient in every single aspect of life…well except for the whole life part, that bit he hadn't quiet worked out yet, mores the pity.

He was currently leaning against the coffee machine when the alarms went off alerting him to someone coming into the Hub, and then there he was. With the swagger of a intergalactic Casanova, Jack entered through the cog door, never noticing Ianto standing watching him, observing his behaviour and trying to catalogue it for later observation.

Jack had a look on his face that always suggested he was deep in his thoughts. Emotions of deep thought and a twinge of happiness clashed upon his handsome face. When it looked like Jack was going to completely bypass him Ianto turned and put his now empty coffee mug on the side with a loud clunk. He heard Jack swiftly turn around and observe him, with his back to Jack he couldn't see if he had his gun out but knowing Jack, who took any excuse to show off, he wouldn't be surprised if he had. The thought of Jack's gun pointed at him once again sent a shiver down his spine.

'Well hello Gorgeous, didn't see you there' Jacks voice rang out through the Hub.

Ianto turned to him with a soft smile, taking in all of Jack as he did every single time that he looked at him. He would never get bored of looking at Jack, the man always seemed to shine no matter what was happening. Like Jack bragged, it was the jaw line, once seen always yearned for.

'You seemed to be a little distracted sir, its no wonder you didn't notice me standing here, in the open, making noise' Jack's small smile edged out into a slightly larger one, lighting his sapphire blue eyes.

'Well I'm getting used to be distracted when your around Mr Jones, its getting to be a bad habit'

'But not one you are willing to break apparently' Ianto couldn't help think that sentence applied more to himself than it could ever apply to Jack.

'With you, your just too good to give up. And besides the best things in life are normally the ones that are bad for you.' a wink was thrown his way. 'And you Ianto are defiantly bad for me, not that I'm complaining, I've always liked to indulge myself whenever possible'

Jack had stalked towards him while he was speaking and currently stood directly in front of him, Ianto couldn't help but lean closer allowing his breath to mingle with Jack's. The warmth of his body reaching out and filling him up. Then Jack was kissing him, pulling him towards his body, wrapping him in the warmth of his arms, letting his hands run down his back, feeling the material of his suit. Jacks mouth was soft and gentle as he kissed him, feeling like silk sliding over him, intoxicating and thrilling. Probing open Ianto's mouth with his tongue gently Jack traced the ridges of Ianto's mouth, tasting the remains of coffee, making Ianto moan gently and pull Jack to him harder, getting him closer and pressing their crotches together. Ianto let out a moan that vibrated his chest as Jack took his bottom lip between his teeth and gave a gentle tug, reaching up to place his hands on Jack's shoulders, rubbing small circles in the skin there. This was what it was about, this was him and Jack, just them doing what they did. Being together. Them. It was always almost too much but then never quiet enough for him. It was very near perfect.

Or it would be if there wasn't something that was very and oh so slightly off with this kiss. It wasn't the tongue action, that was sublime as usual, it wasn't Jacks mouth on his, that was incredible too, it wasn't the hands now grabbing his backside and kneading the flesh, that was defiantly enjoyable, no it was the smell. Jack smelled slightly…off. Now that was not to suggest that Jack didn't smell good, oh no he smelled divine as he always did, that soft mixture of spice and melted chocolate and something that was indefinable but was defiantly something that almost always made him want to loose his himself in everything that was Jack. What was wrong was that not unpleasant but uncommon crisp smell. It was sharp and went straight up to his nose, not over powering but defiantly there. Defiantly not Jack.

Ianto pulled away and looked straight into Jack's eyes a frown crossing his brow. Jack let out an undignified sound as Ianto's lips left his, opening his eyes he raised an eyebrow and took in the picture of Ianto looking at him as if he was trying to solve the riddle that was the mystery of life.

Jack questioned Ianto. 'What? What's wrong?' He had thought that they were going to relax before the day of madness that always accompanied working for Torchwood. Apparently not.

Ianto was still looking at him with that expression, that questioning look that made him feel like he was wrong inside his skin, like he needed more space to breath. He was just about to ask Ianto again what was wrong when Ianto spoke.

'What's that smell?'

'What?'

'A smell Jack, there is a smell'

Jack suddenly became self conscious, sniffing himself with a determination to find what couldn't be there. He always smelled good, always!

'There is a smell coming from you, something that's different, something not quiet…right.'

Jacks eyes seemed to flash with something, something almost fearful? No not fearful, Jack almost never did fear, this was worried, a flash of worry and then it was gone, as if it was never there. Jack huffed a laugh and looked away before returning his eyes to Ianto's.

'Ok so now your trying to tell me I stink? Really Ianto if you wanted to get me into the shower then all you only have to say, you know I'm always up for a little water sports' He flashed Ianto that classic Harkness grin, he did however step back from Ianto, once again giving him his personal space back.

Ianto sensed the change, where as previously the air hung with the promise of pleasure and a great start to the morning, it now hung with something not quiet disturbing and not quiet wrong, just different. Something with an air of a question left unanswered. Jack was walking away from him towards the centre of the Hub, calling over his shoulder as he went. Ianto watched him go with an air of confusion about him, where was Jack going?

'Sir, where are you going? I didn't mean to suggest there was something wrong with your hygiene. Don't you want your coffee? Don't you want…?' The sentence didn't have to be finished for Jack to know what Ianto was offering, what he always offered with such delicate care, what he always gave willingly and gave in abundance. Jack smothered himself in the life that was Ianto Jones. He couldn't stop and yet knew, knew as he always knew, that it would come to an end as all things did. Expect him. He was constant and everything else was not, fact of an unnatural life. Ianto was so young and so lovely, but he couldn't help but think about what was out there, after all when you had been out into the universe, seen stars be born, the beginning of life, the end of so many things, the little things didn't seem to compare. But Ianto, Ianto came close. But Jack still knew, knew all those fantastic wonders, and a part of him ached and screamed for it again. That's what made it all so hard.

'Oh I want, I want all of it believe me. And I'm going to take all of it and enjoy every moment of it. Give me 10 minuets and then come and meet me in the shower room, if it's a question of my hygiene I think you might need to help me get to those…difficult bits? Put good use to that efficiency.' Another grin, another wink and he was gone. Sweeping across the Hub and in the direction of the showers.

Ianto stood there watching after him, not quiet knowing what had happened. One moment there was going to be 'happy times', the next they had descended into hygiene debates. Although admittedly it seemed there was still going to be 'happy times'. But there was the question of that smell, that smell that didn't belong, that wasn't quiet Jack. It beat on his brain like something he had forgotten, a memory long since lost but trying desperately to make its way back. He sighed. No idea what the hell was going on. Made a big difference to any other day then. So. Totally. Shit.

Jacks head appeared again around the corner, obviously shirtless and Ianto wasn't too sure about the bottom half of him.

'Don't forget the coffee' and he was gone.

Shaking his head with a gentle smile on his lips Ianto made another cup of coffee and started to follow after his Captain. Maybe no one was meant to understand Jack Harkness.

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In the shower room Jack furiously covered and scrubbed his skin with vanilla scented shower wash. Over and over he scrubbed trying to get rid of the smell that he had failed to notice, and was spotted by the one person he didn't want to know. How typical of life to try and screw him over. Things would never be simple for him. Never. Bugger.

A/N: So there you go! First chapter done. I know I've posted this before but I've made some changes to this chapter since then PLUS the WHOLE story line has changed, it came to me when I was trying to fall asleep lol. But I'm going to start the next chapter now so that everyone doesn't have to wait so long for it, I'm not sure how that ones going to do but ill give it my best shot!!! So yes, if you have any comments or criticisms then I would be glad to hear either!