Caught in a Dream (Natsume's point of view)

I watched the rise and fall of her chest. I sighed and turned away. I just couldn't bear look at her. It just didn't seem right. The Mikan I knew was lively and was full of life. I almost wanted to kill that damned doctor when he said that she will, inevitably, die soon. My ears and heart would not and could not believe but I was forced to do so as I watched her right now. I could feel the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

"Mikan… what will I do?" I whispered at the sleeping figure.

She lay there still and pale,

Slowly leaving this little tale.

Tears formed in my eyes as the days went by,

As I thought that I'll soon say goodbye.

I felt her stir in her sleep and noticed that she was waking up. I immediately went to her side. She smiled at me and motioned that she wants to sit down.

"Ne, Natsume, you look tired. Why don't you sleep?"She said weakly. I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed with her.

"Right. Then, who will take care of you?" I asked sarcastically. She glared at me. I was surprised but I smiled. I never thought this would happen again.

"What's so funny, you arrogant man?!" She raised her voice and immediately went into a coughing fit. I almost went out and called a nurse when she grabbed my arm and pleaded me to stay.

"Please just stay. Just give me my medicine." She asked. I complied. Then, she continued to talk though I told her to stop. Stubborn, she was just too stubborn. I was taken back, however, when she made me promise something so worthless but I knew she just cared too much.

"Natsume, promise me that you'll sleep. This will be my last request in case I'll die today." She joked and I glared at her. She just laughed it off.

I thought this tale would last forever

I was proved wrong, however.

My heart ached as I watched you fight,

To return to my world that lost its light.

I sighed as she went back to sleep. I could almost feel my eyes closing but struggled to stay awake. In the end, my body won and slowly I drifted to the dream world. There, I saw our past. My mind flew in my memories, memories that we both made together. You always smiled. It was the very same smile that I needed to survive.

I quickly left this world of lies,

As I slowly closed these tired eyes.

Memories we made together, flooded my mind.

I had never thought you'll someday leave me behind.

When I first saw you in our school, I thought you'd become one of those annoying fan girls but that changed and you proved to me that you were different from the rest. You proved to me that by standing up on your own and overcoming all the trials you encountered. Every time you glared or smiled at me, I could feel myself melt. There is just something in you that could break all the walls that I made to hide myself from the others.

You entered and stirred my heart like a whirlpool.

Every time you glare at me, I somehow lose my cool.

You could really give me a scare,

When you do every little dare.

I was awoken when I felt someone kissed my forehead. I stirred but I suddenly remembered her request so I made no move to prove that I was awake.

"Do you still remember when you first said my name? I bet you do." She said. I remembered that day. 'You were pestering me and it was very annoying.' I thought. I listened closely and heard her scribbling in a notebook.

"I promise to treasure these memories. I'll always will. I love you, Natsume." She said again. I could feel my heart throbbing. My eyes became watery. 'What the hell is she saying?! It's almost as if she's saying her last words.' I thought. I struggled to stop myself from shouting at her at this very moment. I felt her as laid herself on the bed.

"Goodbye … Natsume." She finally breathed before she became deadly silent. I cried and clenched my fist. I heard the sound of the machine.

I really wanted you to know,

How I had loved you so.

Without you my heart twirled,

For you were my life and my world.

Months passed by, I stood in front of a grave. I held the diary in my hand tightly. I opened my mouth but no words came. I remained silent and watched the grave. Finally, I found my voice again.

"You were an idiot till the very end, Mikan…but I guess that's the reason why I loved you in the first place… I read your diary. I hope you don't mind. I didn't know you were a writer…" I felt the tears fall down. "I-I know you want me to move on. I'm trying but you know that I can't forget you that easily. I can't promise you that I'll be fully happy but I'll try my best. I know these words and tears could not bring you back but I just want you to hear me. I-I love you, Mikan. I love you so much."

I bent down and caressed your grave. "G-goodbye Sakura Mikan."

But everything was gone, it faded away.

Blackness invaded, I had nothing left to say.