Trust: Epilogue

Of Love Triangles and Affairs

Well, this is it! Thanks again to you all! This is set in the future, and it explains itself as we go alone. It is the tiniest bit complex, but, I think you'll manage. This is a one-shot based on what I thought would happen years later, but, not much action I'm afraid...Actually, depends on your definition of action, if you get my drift :D Only implied though! Still T remember!

Altfly - Final reply :( Ch 11: Glad you liked the rhyming! They are magical, plus, the druid guy and Mordred were in castle grounds without getting noticed before someone grassed on them. Ch 12: Glad you liked the Uther and Gaius thing I had going on, it's just, what you'd said and others so I couldn't have him being blind could I! Plus, it means that Merlin and Arthur have to still be careful and not just go at it like rabbits for the rest of their days XD Ch 13: Aw! Gaius had to accept him! Glad the dragon was in role. Ch 14: Yeah, I thought the spells would be like the 'spark dragon' XD And, truthfully, I made them up! Real language, my arse! It was fun :D Thanks again x

Enjoy and don't forget to review x

Arthur sighed deeply, closing his eyes as he did so. He had stopped outside the door of his chambers. His and Guinevere's chambers. The chambers of the royal couple. It had almost been two years since the royal wedding. It all began so long ago; it seemed like a different lifetime. The beginning was the day the king died.

Uther was poisoned by his ward, the Lady Morgana. Her hatred for him had leaked from her heart to her soul and she succumb its plague, finally destroying the king and stealing his life. She fled before as the king took his last breath. Arthur still remembered it, looking down at his father; death had already stolen his appearance. With a gasp, Uther whispered to his son,

"Be a better king then I ever was, Arthur…" and as he looked past the still-boy, he smiled at something Arthur couldn't see and passed into the world of the dead, finally united with Arthur's mother. The coronation was a day later. A few months later, King Arthur was being pushed and stressed over on the fact that he needed a queen by his side. Merlin comforted him, loved him, defended him but Merlin couldn't be queen. True, the warlock held his heart, and together, they had brought magic back to the land, but Merlin was a boy, like Arthur.

The king went on the search for a bride of his own, given Merlin's broken blessings. The warlock was heartbroken, of course. He had lived in the illusion that Arthur would be his forever. The king looked everywhere, but, never did his heart fall for anyone else but Merlin. He had almost given up when one night, the maidservant; Gwen came in to comfort him in the place of her friend. Merlin couldn't bare that duty anymore.

Arthur felt a bond with the young woman, a bond of friendship. But, he felt this went deeper. He had lost his lover and best friend and she too, had lost her best friend, Morgana. It had shattered the maidservant when the seer told her of her plans and asked her to come away with her, but Gwen refused and so, Morgana frowned sadly and walked away without another word.

The two found a comfort in each other. Found that bond. And they forced themselves to believe it to be love. Two weeks later, they were married. True, the people of the royal court disapproved, but, Arthur bent the law for himself. They didn't deny the word of the king. As they kissed, being showered in confetti, on one of the best days of Arthur's life, Merlin cried hysterics into Gaius's comforting shoulder.

So many things had happened since then. Gwen and Arthur grew to truly love each other, but, after a while, they couldn't live a lie anymore. The bond faded away, but never did they speak of such things. Arthur knocked on Merlin's chamber door one night, a tear falling down his face, and he didn't need to say it. The warlock felt pain for the king, and he soothed him. Their love was never stronger.

Gwen found herself wandering the castle at night when she awoke at the same time every evening to find the bed beside her empty. It was one winter night, Lancelot returned. That night, Gwen found herself at his door and then in his chambers and then there every night afterwards. Gwen fell in love again.

They never spoke of such things. They couldn't bare it. They didn't want this to end, but they didn't want this to continue. It was a cracked situation. When their eyes met, warm and gentle hazelnut to strong, shining emerald, there was nothing there anymore. And everyone saw it.

Gwen, the queen, had had enough. Her heart was broken enough, it was time they spoke. It was time they fell from this knives edge they were on. Whether it was back into or out of love, it didn't matter. That was why she called for Arthur to come to their chambers that evening, after she didn't turn up for dinner.

Exhaled and opening his eyes, Arthur opened the door. Guinevere was dressed in an elegant gown, supporting her frame beautifully. It was richer then anything Morgana used to wear. Her hair was no longer brittle springs but sleek, long curls that framed her stunning eyes. She still garbed in yellow constantly. Neatening the vases on the table top, Gwen still cleaned often. It was by habit despite having her own maids. Arthur smiled at the sight.

Turning when she heard the door open, Gwen faced the king. They just looked at each other for moment, taking a deep breath before the leap. They knew it was coming. Sitting down, Gwen brushed out the front of her dress, as she always did, a subconscious compulsion to be organized. Arthur fell into the seat opposite her and sighed, resting his head on his arm. He acted like a boy still. He was a boy still. He became king far too soon.

"We need to talk" announced the queen, her voice neutral yet soft, it was still Gwen with her kind heart despite all the pain.

"I gathered that" replied Arthur, his eyes on the fire, watching it dance and sizzle. Gwen tilted her head, her expression of disbelief. Did he care at all?

"You're having an affair with my best friend!" she exclaimed at him, her voice full on anger. Arthur snapped his head up, his eyes on fire,

"And you're having an affair with mine!" he boomed back, his voice more bitter then he intended it to be. Gwen felt a part of her churn and scream in pain. She looked away, her heart whimpering. Arthur sighed,

"Lancelot cares for me. He's there when I'm alone. And he's there when I'm afraid. He puts me before his duties, and you don't, Arthur" replied Gwen, her voice beginning to break. Arthur stood up, running a hand through his hair as he spoke, growling slightly,

"I fell in love with Merlin long before I did with you, Gwen. You know that". Gwen nodded, and she felt the tears beginning to form behind her eyes, like a waterfall bursting into life after a terrible drought. There was a long and uncomfortable silence, in which Gwen looked down to her hands and the golden band on her ring finger, twisting it loose from her finger unconsciously. Arthur began pacing behind her. Eventually, she broke the silence,

"We're breaking apart, Arthur". He laughed without humour,

"Do you think I can't see that? I can't feel that?" he sighed annoyed, "Because I do". Gwen nodded, longer then she should have. She was trying to convince herself that she wasn't the only one there feeling it. That Arthur felt it too.

"What are we going to do?" asked the queen, speaking to her lap. There was an awkward silence as Arthur again found himself watching the fire. Amber, gold and maroon blended together in a single form. It was entrancing. It all hung on Arthur. It was his choice. It was always his choice. Why was he king, of all people?

"Nothing" muttered Arthur and Gwen looked up, twisting around and staring at his unresponsive face in shock and disbelief. Arthur's gazed flicked to her, "I'm happy and you're happy, maybe not because we're together but we're happy none the less. If word gets out that we're having problems then Camelot will seem weak and vulnerable because its king is distraught". Gwen shook her head,

"But…Arthur…I'm not happy. And neither are you. Are you? " Part of her was happy that they were still clinging on, but the rest of her hated the thought of this slow torture continuing. She was stuck between people, and she hated that. But, what caused her heart to prickle with fear was the thought that Arthur liked it.

"We smile for the people, and we lie and perform. Behind closed doors, we will breaking, but, maybe we could try and piece together whatever we have left. You're a Pendragon now; it's your duty as well as mine". Arthur ignored what she said. The tears finally spilt down her dark cheeks, leaving behind long, wet lines like scar lines. They were golden in the fire light.

"Of course" replied Gwen. Becoming Arthur's wife was the greatest and worst thing she'd ever done. He was all she had. And she was all he had. They clung to each other like lost souls in the dark. Her life had been so simple. So easy. So straight before all this. And now, she too shared the burden of ruling a kingdom. Lancelot was her angel. Her escape.

"I'm sorry, Gwen" murmured Arthur and the queen found herself looking at Arthur again, his face torn and old. He was weary from his new life. Being a king had stolen everything from him, including his youth. He was apologising for bringing her into this life. And for taking her down with him. And for letting her fall in love with him. But most importantly, he was sorry that he liked having them both. He liked holding the hearts of two people. And he hated that he liked it.

The queen sighed sadly, rising to her feet and closing the space between her and her husband.

"I love you, Arthur". No one ever fell out of love. They just found others who they loved more. In her case, she loved both men the same. She could never choose. But, she didn't have to. Perhaps, somewhere deep inside her, she found relief and peace in that thought. Being the centre piece of a triangle, everything being supported by her was something so different for the young queen. She had been a nobody. But now, she was loved.

"I know, Gwen. I love you, too". But, Merlin meant more to him. He would never say so, but if he had a choice. It would be the warlock he would want to choose. But he would realistically choose Gwen. She was his queen.

Their lips met. But, it held nothing. No emotion. Not anymore. It was just lips meeting.

Through their complicated feelings, and thoughts, and actions. Through wrong beliefs that they enjoyed being the eye of a storm of heartbreak and love and words that held no true meaning, only one thing was true at the end of it all. They were both wrong. They thought they held two hearts in their hands, but, they held only one. Arthur held Merlin's and Gwen held Lancelot's. For truly, their love was in only one person, and they knew it. But they never would say.

………………………….

The water was warm, hugging the queen protectively as she lay underneath its unbroken surface. Light shining from the candles in the room were like beams of sunlight under the water, a beauty untamed and unharmed. It hurt Gwen's eyes when she opened them in the water, so they stayed tightly shut, but she could feel the candlelight on her bare skin. Something about being engulfed by the water made her feel safe. It relieved her of loneliness. And of fear. She felt, somewhat, free.

Walking in silently, he was greeted by the image that stopped his heart. The royal bath chambers were almost as big as his home back in his village on the other side of the kingdom. Centre stage, the ground dipped, the bottom of the bath decorated with detailed mosaics, breath-taking patterns of angels and woman that held un-human beauty. It could fit at least ten people in it, like a tiny lake in the castle.

However, the sight that he found heart-stopping was that of Guinevere, her body engulfed by the bath water, her eyes closed and occasionally, a bubble would find its way to the surface. She looked to peaceful. Yet, her face looked almost agonized. How long had she been down there?

Diving in the water, Gwen jumped from the noise and opened her eyes, pockets of air issuing from her mouth almost like a tree losing all its leaves. Lancelot grabbed the queen by her waist, pulling her above the surface and drowning himself in water. As she gasped for air, shock knocking whatever had remained in her out, the knight pulled her close to him, his lips brushing hers. She froze in surprise at first, before she melted into him.

The floor was saturated, leaking under the doors, but it wouldn't cause any unwanted attention. The queen often spilt the water over the edge of her magnificent bath. Rose petals scattered everywhere, wilted and wet, once occupants of the bath water but now swept out with the rushing currents as the young man had joined Gwen.

When they pulled away, Guinevere was gasping for breath while Lancelot grinned. In a weak, attempt to cover herself up, Gwen pushed herself closer to the knight,

"I'm not presentable, Lancelot! You can't be in here!" and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her, his clothes drenched,

"It's nothing I haven't seen before, my lady. And your beauty is enough to make Mother Nature herself jealous, you should not be ashamed". The queen blushed, but smiled as she cast her eyes away, "Unless you fear someone will catch us?"

"The kitchen staff are already gossiping, it's not as if no body hasn't noticed". Her blush faded, as did her smile, "And Arthur is aware, already". Lancelot frowned, taking Gwen's chin and forcing her to meet his worried gaze,

"You spoke to him". It wasn't a question. The knight finally understood the young queen's discomfort. She nodded, scanning him for any sign of alarm, but there was none. He waited for her to reply,

"We aren't going to do anything" she replied shortly and he frowned,

"He wants to share you? And to carry on the way things are?" Gwen nodded simply, feeling herself begin to weep. Lancelot pulled her to his chest, stroking her hair comfortingly, "Oh, Gwen. Why must you stay with him? I love you more than anything in this world. Why will you not come away with me?"

"Because I love him still, Lancelot! I couldn't abandon him. We can't seem weak; the kingdom can't seem weak. That is the very reason why will just continue without doing anything!" Lancelot fell silent, lying his head on top of his broke queen's. He should have thought before he spoke. He would never make her choose. She could never. For, her heart would always truly be both his and his king's, and if she couldn't love them both, then it would tear and she would shatter. "I'm sorry, Lancelot. I love you, but I just cannot…"

"Shh!" he kissed her forehead, "I understand, my lady. It will all be alright. Just you watch. Things will get better". Lancelot wouldn't abandon his queen's side. He wouldn't ever leave her. Not as long as she wanted him there. If she suddenly woke up one morning, and her love no longer involved him, then he would go. He wouldn't be a thorn in her side.

Looking up, her eyes dry but red-rimmed, Queen Guinevere wiped away a bead of water that was making its way slowly down the knight's cheek. His hazel eyes bore into her, filled only with affection. She smiled,

"I don't deserve you" she admitted. He shouldn't put up with all this. He could have any woman he pleased. Yet, he only wanted her, the king's wife.

"No", he replied, "You deserve so much more". Grinning, he bent down and kissed her again. A fire of passion blazed between them, brighter then ever. They were true soul-mates.

……………………

His fingertips brushed again the warlock's chest, and without realising it, Arthur pressed them down so his hand was flat against the warm, pale skin of Merlin. He could feel it, beating rapidly. Merlin's heart. Smiling to himself, the king couldn't help but think that it was his. Merlin's heart was his.

Glancing up, he noticed two sapphires were watching him from under a pair of eyelashes. The warlock didn't need to have vast amounts of magic coursing through his veins to read the king's mind. He had spoken to Gwen. That was what tinted his features.

"What will you do?" questioned Merlin and Arthur blinked, sighing as he did so, and wished that Merlin had asked anything but that.

"Nothing" he replied shortly. The young magician frowned for a moment, pain apparent in his eyes, but it passed without another reaction. Arthur had already seen it. He hated that he was doing this to Merlin. He hated that he was hurting the young man.

Silence echoed over them, the no-longer prince and the warlock. They lay there; facing each other, under the embroided covers of the warlock's chamber bed, the space between them was full of only the bond they held. That never-ending bond that entwined the destinies of the two sides of the coin.

Merlin broke the silence, his voice cautious yet calm,

"I could go" he said and Arthur looked up, alarmed, "I could leave Camelot. Go home. I would know when you need me, I always know, and I could come back at those times. But, you and Gwen, how can that be fixed if there are people in the way that are blocking that? If I left, then maybe, it wouldn't be as bad. Only if you wanted me to…"

Arthur stared at him for a moment, startled and distraught. He couldn't be serious! After all they'd gone through when they separated the first time. How could he willingly go through that again? How?

Pushing himself forward, Arthur snaked his arms around Merlin's back, clinging to the warlock as if he were about to disappear. His face looking behind Merlin with a look of pure agony, the king stumbled with his word,

"No! Don't go! Please, don't leave! I-I couldn't bare it. Don't leave me! I'm begging, don't! How-how could you say that?" Merlin stayed there, the king curled onto him like a child lost in the rain, "I won't let you!" Arthur was panicking, his voice switching from begging to demanding, with the authority only a king could hold.

Merlin felt as if he'd just killed a part of himself, hearing the king speak in such a way. His mouth still open in a horrified 'O', he grabbed Arthur, holding tightly to both the king's shoulders despite having to cross his arms, he replied,

"I won't go". Arthur seemed to breathe again in relief, closing his eyes, "I promise".

Thoughts like this had often crossed the warlock's mind. Of taking himself out of the picture so the cracks could fill themselves in. He just wanted Arthur to be free. To be happy. To be all he could.

"I promise" he repeated, feeling the king's breath finally steadying. Merlin heard himself begin to mumble,

"I have always been this way. With my powers. In Ealdor, the people could sense something was wrong with me. Will was my only friend. My mother was comforting, but…I don't know. It just…wasn't home. I came to Camelot, and I found somewhere where I belonged. I found a teacher and father, Gaius. And I found Gwen and Morgana, some of the truest friends I'd ever had. And…I found you". Arthur began to listen to the tone in Merlin's tone, so gentle and comforting,

"At first, it was friendship, but then it grew. You became everything to me. The strings that connected me with everyone else in my life began to snap", the warlocks thoughts went to Will, his friend taken by death, ad Morgana, taken by hatred, "Sometimes, not by choice. But, they suddenly lost meaning to me, Arthur. In time, you were all that mattered to me. You are all that matters to me".

Finally letting go, the king looked at Merlin. The warlock couldn't describe the look, but, it held only affection. His face still held confusion as to what this all had to do with the current situation and the warlock rolled his eyes,

"I love you, you idiot" he said, his heart fluttering as the words left his mouth. His voice seemed to break half way through, the nerves of finally admitting it getting to him. A wave of surprise hit Arthur, even though he knew deep down that those three words had been coming for a while now. He smiled gently.

Pushing Merlin playfully, he mock rolled his eyes, but glanced back - with emeralds that screamed what he couldn't say fully, his father had made sure of that - as he said,

"Ditto".