Author: BobtheFrog or Gilove2dance
Title: 2. Gou pi – Bullshit
Table: 03 – Translations
Characters: Jayne, River
Pairing: Rayne
Rating: PG
Word Count: 386
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Joss is boss.

A/N: Just a small humourous piece I thought up during my physics class. It's Jayne's PoV...I love writing his accent so I couldn't resist writing a prompt entirely in Jayne-speak.

I was mindin' my own business as I did my work, stackin' ruttin' heavy crates in the cargo bay. Those bobbly headed Geisha dolls weigh a ton!

So I wasn't doin' nothin' I wasn't suppose to when in twirls the gorram moonbrain. I keep my head down so that there's a chance she won't come over and bother me.

No luck though. She tiptoes over in her bare feet an' stands as close to me as she can without bein' in my reach. She's smiling like the crazy she is.

"Go 'way, Crazy-girl." Like hell she will though. She keeps on starin' at me.

"I could pin you in five seconds." Her voice is cheerful. Must be a good day.

"Gou pi," I snap. How dare she? I'm a hard hearted merc! I can't be pinned by no ninety pound li'l girl.

"Male cow excrement is not a factor in this."

I roll my eyes. I know she's tryin' to make me angry. I know she can knock me out. Done that twice now. But pin me in five seconds? She's gotta give me more credit than that.

"Girl, you can't pin me in five." I brace myself, waitin' for her to attack me. 'Stead she slowly walks forward 'til she's standin' leanin' up against me feelin' all kinds of soft and gorram womanly!

"I can." She's lookin' up at me through her lashes an' her breath is comin' in li'l gasps an' suddenly I feel my body temper'ture rise hotter 'n hell.

"Gou pi," I manage to whisper 'fore Crazy sucks my bottom lip into her mouth. My brain shorts out. 'S the only way I can explain what happened. One second I'm lookin' in Crazy's eyes an' now I find my back pressed up 'gainst the cargo bay wall with an armful of woman an' kissin', somethin' I ain't done in a good long while.

Crazy-girl pulls back an' I lean forwards, surprisin' myself by wantin' to keep kissin' her. She smirks. "I told you I could pin you in five seconds."

I stare at her. Definitely one crazy-assed woman. But I could care less. She's mine. 'Stead of answerin', I jus' bury my hands in her hair an' bring her mouth back up. This is definitely somethin' I ain't supposed to be doin'.