Well, I am, in fact, alive. I'm so sorry I disappeared. I return with the conclusion to this section of How the West Was Lost!!!! I know several of you are anxious about finding out what happens to our brave hero! Dun duuun duuuuun!!!!

Warning: The following contains large amounts of awesomeness, Levail, chaos, and fire.

Levail paused. He had only ten more feet to go, but every one of his limbs was screaming. Sweat was pouring from every pore of his body, make his hands slippery.

"Come on," urged Volug from the top. "You can do it."

The gunslinger listened to his friend and slowly continued. He inched up and finally made it to the top. Volug pulled him up over the side.

"You okay buddy?"

Levail laid down on his back, trying to catch his breath. "Phew…haven't down that in a while." He closed his eyes briefly.

"We need to get moving," said the wolf. "Come on, up." You can rest later." He extended his hand. Levail unwillingly obeyed and took Volug's offered hand. The duo staggered towards the raven's camp.

"So how are we going to go about this rescue?" Levail asked.

"I don't know….but you shouldn't really be concerned about that right now." The wolf's mood suddenly darkened like a flash flood in the desert.

"And why is that?"

"FIRE!" yelled a raven.

Levail jumped back just as a line of arrows came crashing down. "It's an ambush!" He reached for his gun.

Volug's face twisted into a wide smile. "I know." He kicked Levail in the back as the gunslinger turned to take shelter. He grabbed the gunslinger's pistol and aimed it down at him. "I'm leading it!"

"But…"

The wolf ignored the hurt expression on his ex-partner's face. "Tie him up, now! No sympathy!"

"YOU'RE A DIRTY ROTTEN TRAITOR!" yelled Levail as ravens pounced upon him with rope.

"Sticks 'n stones may break my bones, but flattery will get ya' nowhere! Knock him out. I don't want any of his silver-tongued chit chat!"

"If you even think about it, I'll-" Levail never got to finish his threat. A raven clubbed him in the back of the head, silencing him..

Nailah finally reached the top of the cliffs. She took a deep breath and looked around. Footprints were scattered everywhere. Amidst the dust, lay a single silver pistol. She picked it up.

"Handmade…This is definitely Levail's. Looks like he never got the chance to use it." She placed it in a bag she wore at her side and stealthily made her way in the direction of the footprints.

She kept to the left of the main road, keeping her wits about her. The land seemed to be deserted, except for the occasional rattlesnake. Nailah looked across the horizon and saw smoke rising off in the distance.

"That has to be where you are… Hang on buddy…" She took off at full speed across the sand.

When Levail came to, his head was pounding. Yet again, he had been knocked out, but this time, there was a twist: he was tied up. The gunslinger tried to get a better look at his surroundings. There were ravens all around him, chatting about their business.

"So, you're awake."

"What do you want, Volug?" he asked with as much anger as he could muster.

"Oh, I want a lot of things, but first, I'm gonna' kill you. I'm not going to go on and on monologuing like some idiotic villain, so lets make this as painless as possible. 'Kay?"

"What did you do with Lady Leanne?"

"Who? I don't know who you're talking about?"

"The raven king took her."

"Raven king? You must be mistaken. I got rid of him a long time ago. Now, stop talking so I can savor this moment."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I wasn't going to monologue, but… I might as well since you're practically begging for it."

Levail rolled his eyes and prepared for the demented sob story. He was planning on listening or actually caring. He just needed the time.

"It all started when I was a young cub…" he began.

Levail tried to twist his wrists to grab his pocket knife. Unfortunately, his bonds were tighter than he had planned.

"Then I met you…" Volug's eyes darted towards his "friend." "You were young and full of such promise, but you had to go and see the light."

The gunslinger froze. Here came the angry part.

"I got caught, but you got a slap on the wrist. I rotted in jail for four years cuz of you!" Volug's anger cooled down quickly. His clenched teeth formed a forced smile. "It's ironic. You burned me so I burn you…"

"You…" The thought finally kicked in. He was tied to a pole, in the fire pit. Volug was literally going to burn him.

"Yep, I'm surprised you didn't catch on earlier. I'd like to thank the ravens for their contribution."

"Naesala isn't even this cruel! There's no way he'd allow this."

"Like I said, I got rid of him. I'm the king now. You'd be surprised what four years in a dark cell can help you accomplish."

"YOU'RE INSANE!"

Volug continued his smile. "Thanks." He picked up a flaming torch. "I'm going to enjoy this."

"Are you sure that's him?"

"Yes, I'm positive."

"Stay behind me. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Don't worry about me. Just help Levail."

High above the camp, hidden in some cliffs, the raven king and Lady Leanne prepared for their daring rescue.

"I'm going to strangle that wolf," Naesala said. "He took my tribe, tried to kill me, and upset my girl!"

Leanne gazed down again at the camp below. "He's going to set him on fire! We've got to hurry!" Naesala spread out his powerful wings, preparing for flight. Leanne grabbed his hand and together leapt from the edge.

Perspiration poured down Levail's face, not only from the fire getting closer and closer to his flesh but from pure terror as well. He was out of ideas, gun-less, and tied up. His demise seemed imminent. He looked up at the sunset lit sky for what he thought would be his last.

"ANGRY WOLF!!" screamed a raven lady.

Panic struck throughout the entire raven camp as Nailah rampaged through it, tearing up anything in her path. Volug's coloring dropped a few shades.

"Oh snap…" he said nervously.

Levail smiled. "Calvary has arrived."

"Don't think you've won!" he shouted as he threw the torch. Twigs surrounding Levail instantly burst into flames. "Catch ya' later! …Or not." The wolf saluted before making his escape.

"LEVAIL!" cried Nailah as she tried to fight her way past an extremely persistent and confused wall of ravens.

Naesala swooped down out of the sky, flapping his wings with the intensity of a hurricane. The flames were put of instantly. Leanne ran up to her bodyguard and started to untie his bonds.

"Are you okay?" she asked sweetly.

Levail coughed. "I think so… I may have set a new record for dancing with death though…"

"Don't kid around about that!" Leanne slapped Levail in the arm. "You scared me!"

"Hey! I'm alive, aren't I?"

"Yes, and you're filthy!"

Levail looked at his shirt. It was no longer white, but solid black from all the ash. In fact, he was covered in so much ash, he looked more like a chimney sweep than a bodyguard.

"Is everything good here?" Naesala asked as he transformed from his bird form.

Levail's eyes narrowed. "You…" He shoved Leanne behind him and attempted to draw his gun which was no longer there.

Leanne giggled. "It's okay, silly! I'll explain later, but Naesala's with me."

"I missed something, didn't I?" asked the gun-less gunslinger.

Nailah walked up behind the hero. "Yet again, you've escaped your demise."

"Yep. I sure am lucky!"

The wolf shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?" She looked around, past the chaos and many frantic ravens. "Where's Volug?"

Unwilling to answer, Levail looked down and shuffled his feet in the red sand.

"He escaped again," she mumbled. "Well, no use in crying over spilled mild. Let me get ya'll back to your friends and I'll continue my search from there."

"I'm sorry everyone," said Leanne, "but most of this is my fault."

"Our fault," Naesala added. "You can't take all the blame."

The aristocrat giggled. "Okay, it's our fault. You see, I wanted Naesala to kidnap me. We had been planning on it for a while. We were going to elope!"

Levail's jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding me! So why did you need me? Comic relief?!"

"I didn't want to leave my brothers stranded. I was kind of hoping you would take them home and sort of…give up looking for me. Unfortunately, Volug came into the picture and messed everything up."

"I'm going home…" Levail turned around and started to walk back towards the cliff edge.

The two brothers still sat at the bottom of the cliff. Reyson was sprawling on some rocks and Rafiel was still playing with the gun.

"You're going to hurt yourself…" said Reyson.

"Can you do something that's no annoying?" replied Rafiel who was pretty sick of his brother's attitude.

"No. I'm booooooooored…"

Volug snuck down off the cliff, not expecting to see the heron brothers. He tip-toed slowly, trying not to draw attention to himself. Reyson smiled evilly, finally finding a way to entertain himself.

"SNAKE!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Rafiel jumped up and fired four bullets into random space. "WHERE?! KILL IT!"

One bullet ricocheted off of a rock, hitting the side of the cliff. One rock gave way. The cliff side started to vibrate ominously. Volug looked up and froze.

"Why did I know it was a bad idea to give a city boy a gun?" The rocks shook even more, finally giving way, crushing the villain.

"I KILLED HIM!" Rafiel shouted frantically.

"Oops…"

"What was that?" asked Levail as he reached the bottom.

Rafiel handed Levail the gun. "Take it before I shoot my foot off."

"This is a pleasant surprise," said Nailah. "Way to go, kid!"

Naesala and Leanne reached the bottom next. "We have something to tell you."

"The raven king and Leanne got married much later and Levail continued his business as a bodyguard with Nailah as his new partner despite the constant death hazard. And they all lived happily ever after. The end," finished Zelgius. He looked up at the audience and much to his general annoyance, found that they were asleep.

Leanne and Rafiel were lying on each other's shoulders. Sanaki was cuddled up in Sephiran's lap and Naesala was drooling all over Nealuchi's shoulder, snoring loudly.

"Forget this!" the general yelled. "I give up!" He walked into the next room. "If anyone needs me, I'm going to be in the kitchen."

Nealuchi tried to remove the king from his arm. "Nestling, really… This is most undignified."

The raven king rolled over. "Five more minutes, mommy… Zzzzz…"

"I'm not going to ask nicely again. Get off!"

"Ahoy….Gold!"

Tibarn smirked and took out his camera phone. "This is going on YouTube."

I'm fully aware that YouTube hasn't been invented on Tellius yet, but I had to add that last part, just for sear randomness!

What happens next, you may ask? Brush up on your Western films and New Mexico history! Prepare yourself for an amazing historical musical starring, Rhys as John Wayne, Leonardo as Glenn Corbett, Prince Pelleas as Patric Knowels, and Edward as Geoffrey Deuel, in one of my favorite westerns of all times. What do you think it is?