Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Also, I know a lot of people out there will hate me but the public deserve to know the truth

The Truth About Twilight

Below is the truth behind the fiction. This is what really happened in the Twilight Saga.

Once upon a time there was a fairy princess by the name of Isabella Swan. She had a soft toy unicorn that she used to take to bed with her (what did she do to that innocent little toy I wonder). Bella was many things (in a nutshell, she was a prostitute, necrophiliac and dominatrix). Bella's dream was to open a sex night club where all could come and see her moves.

For her birthday, Bella was given a long shiny pole. The pole became her best friend and she spent her days playing with it. Bella decided to enter the annual pole dancing competition this year and practised all day, all night, all the time. She was sliding up and down her pole when she was eating, drinking etc.

As it turns out, Bella won the pole dancing competition and met a fairy prince by the name of Edward. Bella soon fell in love with him. The only problem was, she was in love with the person who came second in the competition, Rosalie. After a long debate, Bella chose to stick with Rosalie. Together, Bella and Rosalie opened a sex night club and lived happily ever after as lovers.

But Edward didn't stay disappointed for long. After the sadness that followed Bella's decision, Edward found a fairy prince to spend the long nights with… Emmett. Every night, Edward and Emmett would stroll through the street, hand in hand, and together they would choose a bin to have poofter sex in. So they all lived Happily Ever After, as sex buddies.

THE END

Occasionally Bella, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward would all get together for a foursome.