Title: This One Time in Rehab

Disclaimers: If I owned Chuck and Georgina, they would have had a scene together in season 1.

Pairing: Chuck/Georgina

Rating: R

Word Count: 1753

Spoilers: Spoilers for an upcoming episode. If you haven't seen Michelle and Ed's Entertainment Tonight vid, you should check it out, but you'll be fine reading this.

Warnings: Alright, so I'm Catholic. I do love my religion. I do. But I also like making fun of religion and this clip was asking for it. So if you're offended by the thought that Chuck Bass hates organized religion, this might not be the best story for you to be reading…

Summary: He'd expected a slap or a couple of swear words thrown around. This was the last reaction Chuck ever expected to receive from Georgina Sparks.

XOXO

The way she said his name sent shivers down his spine. It was too happy, too perky. He wasn't sure who this character was, but it wasn't the Georgina he knew and loathed. That wasn't the way that Georgina was supposed to greet him. She was supposed to scream and shout. He'd even expected a slap and a couple of swear words thrown around. This happy greeting was the last reaction Chuck had ever expected to receive from her. Sure, she'd sent him some violets and a baggie of coke the last time she'd been in town, but it also had been accompanied by a card that contained some choice swear words and some imagery about his balls that he'd soon like to forget. Given that behavior, he at least expected for her to call him an asshole, not to call out his name in that happy way she'd used to when they were kids. And he sure as hell hadn't expected her to do something as completely and utterly insane as run up to him and hug him.

As Georgina's arms clamped tightly around him, Chuck immediately had second thoughts about this entire plan. It had been nearly six years since he'd felt her arms around him, and he suddenly felt like they were twelve again. He could practically hear her cries of love and devotion all over again as her grip tightened to a vice. Sometimes he wondered if he'd been the one to turn her into a crazy bitch, and it was times like these were he was completely certain of it.

It wasn't until she hissed into his ear, "You better be here to fucking rescue me, Chuck" that he realized that rehab was just as awful as everyone had told him it would be. How she'd survived this far without going crazier than she already was beyond him, but he quickly amended that thought when she asked in that loud, cheerful voice, "Have you been saved, too?" Maybe it had driven her a little crazier than she already was… After all, you had to be mad to purposefully talk in a chipper voice like that all the time.

Still, he understood what she was asking him. She was making sure that he was here to actually rescue her, and that he hadn't been sent by Blair or someone to check up on her. Please, if Blair knew where he was right now, she would kill him herself. That thought alone made him rethink this whole crazy plan of Nate's. After all, there was a reason why Nate was never the brains behind any of their plans, and if bailing Georgina out of rehab didn't work, then Nate was banished from ever coming up with a plan again; Chuck would make sure of that. Still, he found himself replying back to her in an equally chipper voice, "Yes, Georgina. I, too, have been saved." Yeah, he was fairly certain that he'd be going to hell one day.

With just that simple statement, all the other campers, or victims as Chuck liked to think of them, began delightedly shouting things out that Chuck purposefully chose to ignore. Just like that, he and Georgina were being pushed into a circle to sit on the ground while everyone around them sang about God. As they were sitting down he whispered into her ear, "Limo's coming back at seven." Apparently that made everything between them alright because she laced her fingers through his and began singing in that sickeningly sweet voice of hers. If he'd known that rescuing Georgina from rehab would have stopped her from being a crazy bitch around him, he would have rescued her two attempts ago. Crazy Georgina drove him insane; he preferred Plotty Georgina over Psycho Georgina any day of the week.

Even though Georgina suddenly was acting like everything was fine and dandy again, he couldn't help but to curse Nate for convincing him to come out to church camp in the middle of no where to rescue Georgina from the heavenly rehab from hell. He understood why it had to be him; he got that. After all, Georgina had been in love with him for the past six years; they'd lost their virginities to each other. If anyone could bring Georgina back to Manhattan without having to drug her up, it was him. Oddly enough, he was the only person that she trusted. He wasn't sure what was stranger to him, the fact that Georgina trusted him or the fact that he was breaking her out of rehab to rescue Serena. It was all very odd.

After an hour of listening to the Bible Thumpers, Chuck understood why Georgina had taken to talking in that chipper voice. That was how everyone talked here. No wonder she was so desperate to get the hell out of dodge. This is what hell would be like. Chuck was certain of it. And if things couldn't get any worse, after singing, they were led into the dining hall. When they started praying, Chuck knew very well that he'd made a major mistake and should not have listened to Nate. He was about to up and leave and beg Nate to figure out a new plan, one that did not involve him having to listen to evening prayer, when Georgina grabbed his hand from under the table, and slid his hand into her leggings. His eyes shot to hers, and she just shot him an innocent smile right back. She seriously wanted him to finger her under the table while everyone else around them was praying. Sometimes he wondered why they hadn't worked out. So, he merely shrugged in response and did as she asked. After all, what else was he really going to do?

For the second time that day, he found himself thinking that he was going to hell. After all, here he was, pumping his fingers in and out of Georgina as she bit her lip to keep silent while everyone else at the table around them prayed. It was official. He was going to hell one day, and Georgina would be joining him there. When she finally came, he was afraid she was going to make some sort of noise, but she didn't. She just shot him a little smile, pulled her napkin off the table, pulled Chuck's hand out of her leggings and put the napkin in his hand. Then, much to his amusement, she loudly announced, "Amen." Chuck had to cough to cover up his laughter.

Breaking Georgina out of rehab was one of the easiest crimes Chuck had ever had to commit. For a rehab facility, they had the weakest security that Chuck had ever seen. They'd managed to get away while everyone else had gone back to the camp fire to get their Kumbaya on. In fact, Georgina managed to convince him to let her give him head behind one of the cabins before they managed to make it to his limo.

The second they were in the limo, Georgina let out a shriek of glee and promptly took her shirt off. "Thank fucking God." And with that she was crawling across the leather seats and rummaging around the wet bar before the car had even started moving.

"Yes, Georgina. Please. Help yourself to my alcohol." He responded dryly as he leaned back in his seat, and told the driver they could leave. Sighing, he ran his hands over his face, and hoped that Nate had an idea of where they were going to hide her because he did not sign up for that part of this plan. Breaking her out, he could handle; having to hide her from Serena and Lily, he could not.

She didn't respond to that, instead she just poured herself a drink, moaning slightly as she swallowed the scotch. "Bart always knew how to buy the good stuff." She commented before pouring herself another drink.

Chuck merely stared at her, wondering vaguely if rehab actually did ever help anyone before realizing what she just said. "Bart's dead."

Georgina turned her attention away from the bar and just stared at him. She didn't say a word at first; just stared. She'd always liked Bart. "How?"

"Car accident."

She nodded slowly at that and downed her second drink before pouring herself another drink, and pouring one for Chuck this time as well. "That's a shitty way to go. He deserved better than that." She decided as she moved across the seat on her knees and handed Chuck one of the drinks. "He should have gone out in flames or something."

Chuck snorted as he took the drink from her. "That's a bit pretentious for my dear father, don't you think?" He asked lazily as he swirled the amber liquid around and stared into the glass as though it was a crystal ball. "Sounds more like me."

Georgina shook her head and laid a hand on his thigh. "No it doesn't. You're going to go out fighting." The way she looked at him then, she wasn't Plotty Georgina or Psycho Georgina. She was just plain old Georgie—the girl he'd lost his virginity to. Shivers went down his spine again as she leaned into kiss him.

"No, Georgie." He attempted to lean out of her grasp, but she grabbed his jaw with her free hand.

She downed her third drink before studying him intensely. "I know I'm not her. I'll never be her." She suddenly grinned mischievously at him. "All I want is for you to call me by the right name."

Later, as they lay on the floor of the limo, legs still entangled, Chuck found himself cursing Nate again. This was not what he needed to get Blair back, but he decided that he would think about it at a different time. He was still caught on Georgina's comment about going out fighting. "How do you think you'll die?"

She was quiet for a moment, and laid her head on his chest before she said anything at all. "If I got to choose my way out, I'd poison myself. It's the way to go. No muss, no fuss, and I'd still look good." She stared up at the limo's ceiling. "I'll probably die screaming. Gunshot wound or something messy like that."

Chuck nodded as he absorbed that before shooting her a curious look. "How do you think I'll die?"

She shot him a wicked grin. "Death by Blair Waldorf."