Um. I've kind of dropped out of fanfiction, but I rather hate it when people don't finish their fics. So. Um. Here I go.
Death. I can't.
Oh. Maybe it's 'cos I didn't do my customary warning and shit. Um. The characters are mainly JK Rowling's. As I'm sure you know, this fic involves girls-who-like-girls (such a happy compound word). If girls-who-like-girls offend/disturb/disgust you, you know where to go.
I mean, I suppose you know where to go. If you don't I could probably give you directions. Email me, okay?
First stupid note, only it's really just something I thought of while writing: I just saw [I]The Emperors' Club[/I] and, while I was terrifically whiny about its lack of falsely happy endings, the entire melancholy thing is carried on the eagle wings of Martin's "what do you mean by hair?" line. I [I]lurve[/I] Martin. He looks kind of like Giles and kind of like this really sweet, somewhat smelly boy in my first-to-third grade classes... I miss that boy. I hope he hasn't been tainted.
...
Padma was sitting quietly on the floor of the Ravenclaw boys' dormitory, meditating with some candles she and Mandy had bought once, in the Muggle world. Mandy chose her candles by their names- "Temperance," "Inspiration," "Romance." Padma chose her candles by the quality of the nude female paintings reproduced on the packages. She was using all the candles, now.
It was kind of bizarre of her, but she still missed Mandy, in a way. She supposed that once you were older you couldn't expect to have the kinds of friendships you did when you were little and didn't get distracted by watching your friends change, but it still depressed her. Also when they didn't [I]keep trying to match you up with bitter nearsighted girls by way of their annoying brothers[/I]. God.
She was in the boys' dorm because she didn't want to run into Lisa or Mandy, and she was meditating because she had no idea what else she was supposed to do. The only thing she [I]could[/I] do, she supposed, was to wait out the rest of Christmas vacation and then latch onto Rag or someone when the others returned, so she didn't have to spend the rest of her school days in close proximity with either of the two most terrifying girls she had ever met.
And most breathtaking. Which she hadn't thought, or maybe she'd thought it about Mandy, because she knew she liked Mandy by now, could deal with it, but she had not thought it because of her not liking Lisa and everything. Because that would kind of transcend any ability to deal with anything.
She closed her eyes and tried to think of a mantra. She wasn't very good at it. She thought there ought to be a word for one's ability to deal with things. Because if there wasn't, that just made it worse. Things were lots easier if you had words for them. Sometimes.
...
She had to leave eventually, of course. She meditated for almost eight hours, except that a lot of her meditation time was actually spent running laps in the dormitory, doing her Potions homework, and reading various spellbooks, novels, and dirty magazines Terry and Ivan had left behind. But by nine at night her stomach was rumbling so loudly that even Playwizard couldn't distract her from going downstairs and finding something to eat.
She was in a pleasant mood by now, so she wandered downstairs whistling and thinking about Marina, the Playwizard Witch of the Week (were they [I]real[/I]? Did it [I]matter[/I]?). She abruptly stopped whistling upon entering the Great Hall.
"Shit," she said quietly. She had, of course, seen fit to forget that there was someone else who would be eating dinner late, if not also staring blankly into space and possibly- if not probably- crying.
"Thank you ever so much for the greeting," Lisa said. "This wasn't your idea, was it?"
"What?"
"The thing with my brother and Mandy Brocklehurst. They're following me everywhere and [I]observing[/I] me. And they [I]giggle[/I]."
"I'm sorry," said Padma. "Did they explain to you?"
"Somewhat. Rather... Brocklehurst sort of sketched it out very generally, and my brother gave me a longer, detailed, sort of humiliating version later. They think we shagged like bunny rabbits last night under the influence of butterbeer with cinnamon in it. Or... something." Lisa cradled her crimson face between her shoulders. "I'm just not sure if I should hate you for it, on top of everything else."
"I don't think it's my fault," Padma said. "Hopefully." She suddenly felt intense pity for Lisa- it was nearly as intense as the pity she felt for herself. "Mandy told me she's going to prove that you're gay and that we shagged and that we like each other, or something. But you're not, and we didn't, and we don't, and everything. So she'll feel kind of stupid later, I suppose."
"Um," Lisa said. "I. Um."
"M?"
"I've never said this before. Um. I'm gay."
"Oh," Padma said. "So am I, but it doesn't actually mean-"
"Shit," said Lisa. "What if we [I]did[/I]?"
"We should go ask someone," Padma said.
"Hullo, Professor Dumbledore," Lisa queried pleasantly. "Since you're so wise and all-knowing and everything, I was wondering if you could recap Padma Patil's and my nocturnal activities yesterday... You ought to sit down, you know. You're making me nervous."
Padma sat down, nervously. "I... Maybe there was someone in the room, at the time."
"P'raps," said Lisa. "But if they were, and we were, and they were watching, I'd really rather not know."
...
"What an adorable question," Cho Chang said, beaming. "My girlfriend and I used to be like you. All innocent and shit. We blushed all the time. It was funny." She appeared to be somewhat high.
"I suppose," Lisa said. "Only, y'know, except we're [I]not[/I] girlfriends. And she's making me ask you. Because she's [I]childish[/I]." She glared at Padma, who was chewing her fingernails.
"Aww," Cho said. "You weren't, that I could see. It was really sweet though. When my girlfriend and I started you were talking- I think you were crying, actually- and by the time we'd finished you were just sleeping. It was precious."
"Oh yay," Padma said suddenly. "You mean we [I]didn't[/I]? I feel so pure."
"You shouldn't be." Cho giggled suddenly. "My God. Thank God for Invisibility Cloaks, that's all I'm saying. Even with it we must've been giving off an aura of corruption and filth." She grinned at them.
"How odd," Lisa said.
"Not really," said Cho. "Would you like to join the Hogwarts GSA? We're not [I]all[/I] corrupted- I mean, we are, but it's a fun kind of corruption. You're all lamblike now, we'll save you."
"No, thank you," Padma said. She smiled politely and swallowed bile.
...
"I feel a bit fulfilled, don't you?" Lisa said. "I dunno. And extremely out-of-character. 'S just, y'know. I like getting my facts straight."
"Really?" Padma said. "I much prefer them same-gender-oriented."
Lisa smiled, a bit serenely. They were meditating together to escape Mandy and Jack; they'd somehow developed a bond. "It's just nice. I'm gay. You're gay. We didn't shag like bunny rabbits."
"There's the last thing, though," Padma said. "Whether we like each other. You know what would've been really funny?"
"What?"
"If we [/I]did[I] like each other. All along. Or most of it. If that was what yelling at each other about our hair about."
"Or if my hating you was just sexual tension."
"Or if we took butterbeer and cinnamon just because we hoped we might shag like bunny rabbits."
"Like I'd ever like you that much."
"I'm not that unlikeable."
"You are. You're annoying."
"Am not."
"You oppress people. I [I]heard[/I] you."
"Git."
"Hippogriff."
"Bunny-squasher."
"Please. Bite me."
Pause.
"I didn't mean literally."
...
I... I tried. I really tried. 'S not very good, but there [I]is[/I] only one chapter to go.
In case you care, the Hogwarts GSA was going to consist of Draco(gay), Blaise Zabini(transgendered), Ginny, Cho, and Alicia Spinnet(bi), Ron(questioning), and Katie Bell(lesbian). But I didn't feel like using them. Someone with better writing skills than me should steal the idea. Please?
Elektra- thank you for reviewing. I do ship both L/Ps, of course, but I'm not sure how they would've fit in here. Are they in your fic? ::looks:: ::giggles:: Oh, a parody, how sweet. ::abandons her review-answerings for a while:: Okay, I'm back. Liked your fic. :)
Melody- thank you for reviewing. "Happiness Is A Warm Gun." [I]She's not a girl who misses much- she's well-accustomed to the touch of a hand like a lizard on a windowpane.[/I] You're obsessed just like me- how nice. Anya's one of my many significant others, including early!Willow, evil!Willow, brainless!Tara, [I]Never-Leave-Me[/I]!Willow, Christlike!Jonathan, singing!Tara, crazy!Spike, and Little Goth Girl from matazone.uk.co.
The Elusive Cucumber- thank you for reviewing. What an adorable screenname you have. Yes, they do.
Preserve Our Jam- thank you for reviewing. I can't really give you a good answer, because I liked your review so much. So perhaps I am a four-headed purple baboon as well.
Anna Maria- thank you for reviewing. Yes, you may.
Chisakami- thank you for reviewing. No, Tammy-the-obsessive-lesbian from-[I]Election[/I]. I stole your idea, how cool is that? ::muses:: No, actually I'm a pretty bad person now. ::mopes::
Dala- thank you for reviewing. Aren't you nice...
Wow. I'm done. One more and I'll have 50 reviews. ::considers writing one herself::
Death. I can't.
Oh. Maybe it's 'cos I didn't do my customary warning and shit. Um. The characters are mainly JK Rowling's. As I'm sure you know, this fic involves girls-who-like-girls (such a happy compound word). If girls-who-like-girls offend/disturb/disgust you, you know where to go.
I mean, I suppose you know where to go. If you don't I could probably give you directions. Email me, okay?
First stupid note, only it's really just something I thought of while writing: I just saw [I]The Emperors' Club[/I] and, while I was terrifically whiny about its lack of falsely happy endings, the entire melancholy thing is carried on the eagle wings of Martin's "what do you mean by hair?" line. I [I]lurve[/I] Martin. He looks kind of like Giles and kind of like this really sweet, somewhat smelly boy in my first-to-third grade classes... I miss that boy. I hope he hasn't been tainted.
...
Padma was sitting quietly on the floor of the Ravenclaw boys' dormitory, meditating with some candles she and Mandy had bought once, in the Muggle world. Mandy chose her candles by their names- "Temperance," "Inspiration," "Romance." Padma chose her candles by the quality of the nude female paintings reproduced on the packages. She was using all the candles, now.
It was kind of bizarre of her, but she still missed Mandy, in a way. She supposed that once you were older you couldn't expect to have the kinds of friendships you did when you were little and didn't get distracted by watching your friends change, but it still depressed her. Also when they didn't [I]keep trying to match you up with bitter nearsighted girls by way of their annoying brothers[/I]. God.
She was in the boys' dorm because she didn't want to run into Lisa or Mandy, and she was meditating because she had no idea what else she was supposed to do. The only thing she [I]could[/I] do, she supposed, was to wait out the rest of Christmas vacation and then latch onto Rag or someone when the others returned, so she didn't have to spend the rest of her school days in close proximity with either of the two most terrifying girls she had ever met.
And most breathtaking. Which she hadn't thought, or maybe she'd thought it about Mandy, because she knew she liked Mandy by now, could deal with it, but she had not thought it because of her not liking Lisa and everything. Because that would kind of transcend any ability to deal with anything.
She closed her eyes and tried to think of a mantra. She wasn't very good at it. She thought there ought to be a word for one's ability to deal with things. Because if there wasn't, that just made it worse. Things were lots easier if you had words for them. Sometimes.
...
She had to leave eventually, of course. She meditated for almost eight hours, except that a lot of her meditation time was actually spent running laps in the dormitory, doing her Potions homework, and reading various spellbooks, novels, and dirty magazines Terry and Ivan had left behind. But by nine at night her stomach was rumbling so loudly that even Playwizard couldn't distract her from going downstairs and finding something to eat.
She was in a pleasant mood by now, so she wandered downstairs whistling and thinking about Marina, the Playwizard Witch of the Week (were they [I]real[/I]? Did it [I]matter[/I]?). She abruptly stopped whistling upon entering the Great Hall.
"Shit," she said quietly. She had, of course, seen fit to forget that there was someone else who would be eating dinner late, if not also staring blankly into space and possibly- if not probably- crying.
"Thank you ever so much for the greeting," Lisa said. "This wasn't your idea, was it?"
"What?"
"The thing with my brother and Mandy Brocklehurst. They're following me everywhere and [I]observing[/I] me. And they [I]giggle[/I]."
"I'm sorry," said Padma. "Did they explain to you?"
"Somewhat. Rather... Brocklehurst sort of sketched it out very generally, and my brother gave me a longer, detailed, sort of humiliating version later. They think we shagged like bunny rabbits last night under the influence of butterbeer with cinnamon in it. Or... something." Lisa cradled her crimson face between her shoulders. "I'm just not sure if I should hate you for it, on top of everything else."
"I don't think it's my fault," Padma said. "Hopefully." She suddenly felt intense pity for Lisa- it was nearly as intense as the pity she felt for herself. "Mandy told me she's going to prove that you're gay and that we shagged and that we like each other, or something. But you're not, and we didn't, and we don't, and everything. So she'll feel kind of stupid later, I suppose."
"Um," Lisa said. "I. Um."
"M?"
"I've never said this before. Um. I'm gay."
"Oh," Padma said. "So am I, but it doesn't actually mean-"
"Shit," said Lisa. "What if we [I]did[/I]?"
"We should go ask someone," Padma said.
"Hullo, Professor Dumbledore," Lisa queried pleasantly. "Since you're so wise and all-knowing and everything, I was wondering if you could recap Padma Patil's and my nocturnal activities yesterday... You ought to sit down, you know. You're making me nervous."
Padma sat down, nervously. "I... Maybe there was someone in the room, at the time."
"P'raps," said Lisa. "But if they were, and we were, and they were watching, I'd really rather not know."
...
"What an adorable question," Cho Chang said, beaming. "My girlfriend and I used to be like you. All innocent and shit. We blushed all the time. It was funny." She appeared to be somewhat high.
"I suppose," Lisa said. "Only, y'know, except we're [I]not[/I] girlfriends. And she's making me ask you. Because she's [I]childish[/I]." She glared at Padma, who was chewing her fingernails.
"Aww," Cho said. "You weren't, that I could see. It was really sweet though. When my girlfriend and I started you were talking- I think you were crying, actually- and by the time we'd finished you were just sleeping. It was precious."
"Oh yay," Padma said suddenly. "You mean we [I]didn't[/I]? I feel so pure."
"You shouldn't be." Cho giggled suddenly. "My God. Thank God for Invisibility Cloaks, that's all I'm saying. Even with it we must've been giving off an aura of corruption and filth." She grinned at them.
"How odd," Lisa said.
"Not really," said Cho. "Would you like to join the Hogwarts GSA? We're not [I]all[/I] corrupted- I mean, we are, but it's a fun kind of corruption. You're all lamblike now, we'll save you."
"No, thank you," Padma said. She smiled politely and swallowed bile.
...
"I feel a bit fulfilled, don't you?" Lisa said. "I dunno. And extremely out-of-character. 'S just, y'know. I like getting my facts straight."
"Really?" Padma said. "I much prefer them same-gender-oriented."
Lisa smiled, a bit serenely. They were meditating together to escape Mandy and Jack; they'd somehow developed a bond. "It's just nice. I'm gay. You're gay. We didn't shag like bunny rabbits."
"There's the last thing, though," Padma said. "Whether we like each other. You know what would've been really funny?"
"What?"
"If we [/I]did[I] like each other. All along. Or most of it. If that was what yelling at each other about our hair about."
"Or if my hating you was just sexual tension."
"Or if we took butterbeer and cinnamon just because we hoped we might shag like bunny rabbits."
"Like I'd ever like you that much."
"I'm not that unlikeable."
"You are. You're annoying."
"Am not."
"You oppress people. I [I]heard[/I] you."
"Git."
"Hippogriff."
"Bunny-squasher."
"Please. Bite me."
Pause.
"I didn't mean literally."
...
I... I tried. I really tried. 'S not very good, but there [I]is[/I] only one chapter to go.
In case you care, the Hogwarts GSA was going to consist of Draco(gay), Blaise Zabini(transgendered), Ginny, Cho, and Alicia Spinnet(bi), Ron(questioning), and Katie Bell(lesbian). But I didn't feel like using them. Someone with better writing skills than me should steal the idea. Please?
Elektra- thank you for reviewing. I do ship both L/Ps, of course, but I'm not sure how they would've fit in here. Are they in your fic? ::looks:: ::giggles:: Oh, a parody, how sweet. ::abandons her review-answerings for a while:: Okay, I'm back. Liked your fic. :)
Melody- thank you for reviewing. "Happiness Is A Warm Gun." [I]She's not a girl who misses much- she's well-accustomed to the touch of a hand like a lizard on a windowpane.[/I] You're obsessed just like me- how nice. Anya's one of my many significant others, including early!Willow, evil!Willow, brainless!Tara, [I]Never-Leave-Me[/I]!Willow, Christlike!Jonathan, singing!Tara, crazy!Spike, and Little Goth Girl from matazone.uk.co.
The Elusive Cucumber- thank you for reviewing. What an adorable screenname you have. Yes, they do.
Preserve Our Jam- thank you for reviewing. I can't really give you a good answer, because I liked your review so much. So perhaps I am a four-headed purple baboon as well.
Anna Maria- thank you for reviewing. Yes, you may.
Chisakami- thank you for reviewing. No, Tammy-the-obsessive-lesbian from-[I]Election[/I]. I stole your idea, how cool is that? ::muses:: No, actually I'm a pretty bad person now. ::mopes::
Dala- thank you for reviewing. Aren't you nice...
Wow. I'm done. One more and I'll have 50 reviews. ::considers writing one herself::