Religious Experience
by AHS

I was careful, after, not to look at Brian with any hint of smugness. No look of remembering. Not even the extra love that couldn't help but run through me. It was like any other day. This is just any other day.

But it's so not.

Fuck the Sap, sure. But I feel like… fuck everything today! Fuck classes, fuck the diner. Not because I'm pissed or anything, but because… I can't be bothered with such trivialities. I feel like I'm on a cloud, in a dream… flying.

How are people walking around like it's a regular day?! (Hehe, actually, one person's walking slightly differently…)

I… fucked… Brian.

I was on Brian's back, my dick inside Brian's ass, *finally*, and… God… damn… it was amazing.

I feel like today should be, like, a snow day. I should get this day off to… grin until my face hurts. Roll around on the bed, letting my body absorb and relive every memory I couldn't show in my eyes once he turned back over.

Can I call in sick? Can I call in sick with happiness and… incredulity? Tell Debbie I need time to come to grips with the reality that I actually…? That he let me…? Fuck, I know I can't tell her that, but…

I shouldn't be so shocked. I knew there was a part of him that always wanted me to, almost from the beginning. But I also knew he might never give in to it. I'd asked, or hinted seductively, many times before, to no avail. This time, I didn't really ask. Just kind of pushed him onto his stomach, gently but… firmly. Maybe that was the difference.

And maybe he knew… I mean, I didn't tell him anything about that party, and I don't plan to… but I wouldn't be surprised if he sensed something. That I needed a little… control… needed him, that way. Brian has certainly always been one for sexual healing. Offering actions rather than words to show he cares, even if this one action was so rare, so improbable, it was downright mythical.

When I realized he wasn't fighting me… that he was face-down in the pillow, giving himself to me, I think I nearly came right then. But I couldn't falter. I couldn't slow my thoughts or my actions. Couldn't show a moment's nervousness or hesitation. I couldn't doubt myself, and I couldn't give him a chance to doubt me and change his mind. I acted calm and sure, and somehow I kept my hands from shaking. Got the condom on in no time, and… inside. Inside Brian.

Shit, I didn't even prepare him. Knowing he didn't do this, that he hadn't bottomed in God knows how long. No lube, no fingers, no… Whenever I let myself fantasize about fucking Brian, I always rimmed him for a good, long time first. But this window of opportunity was quite possibly as tiny and tight as Brian's asshole, so I just had to get in.

And Brian… sighed in the back of his throat… his face not quite blank but not registering pain… instead, something between bliss and peace… and grunted silently, and then not so silently… fists pulling at the sheets… letting himself push back… And I concentrated on making him feel good… making it something he wouldn't regret… and it kept me from getting lost immediately in the heat of him.

I leaned in and hovered breaths against his cheek until his head turned towards me. His eyes were closed but his mouth met mine and kissed, open and sloppy and desperate and perfect.

That took me to the edge and made me so happy, because I knew then, even more than when he came… five seconds before me, and not biting his lip quite hard enough to avoid shouting my name… he was getting just as much pleasure as he was allowing me.

Fuck.

At least I don't have to (basically) whore myself at Babylon anymore. I didn't like Babylon being work, anyway. But still, how can I just go about my normal routine? It's like how insane it seemed going to school after the first time Brian took me home and fucked me. I'd just seen the face of God, and I was expected to concentrate on trigonometry and gym?

Maybe I should try that. Call off from life today, claiming religious experience. Because seeing the face of God is life-altering enough, but… once you've fucked him…