DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE COMPLETELY REDICULOUS PLOT - OR LACK THERE OF - OF THIS FIC. THE WWE AND ALL IT'S WRESTLERS BELONG TO VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON. IF I OWNE THEM, SHAWN WOULD BE IN MY BED THIS VERY INSTANT! OH AND I AM NOT MAKING MONEY OFF OF THIS. -stops shouting-

Summary: This story will be more or less drabbles that will eventually tie together at some point in the story. All of them will be centered around said 'Wrestling Gods' and their wrath when people don't do as their told. I plan to use just about every superstar on the roster; some I'll use several times like Shawny or Chris because they are too much fun to work with. If you don't like crack and you want an actual plot, turn away now. This muse is here for the sole purpose of making people laugh by whatever means necessary.

WARNING: It's total crack. ALL crack. ALL of the wrestlers will be pretty much in canon only exaggerated a little bit. A few of them will have to be a little OOC but who cares? It's a crack fic. Also, there will be tons of homosexual overtones, hints of slash yada yada. Will be lots of bad language but I'll do my best to keep it rated 'T' for now. But in case my smut muse kicks in later on, the rating WILL change to 'M'. I'm not responsible if you end up reading smut. That's why I have this big ass warning here. Oh and fluff. Will be a lot of that and just down right silliness that makes no sense at all but hey. Everynow and then you could use a laugh and that's what these drabbles are for. And now on to our first victim...

"Wow. We so kicked some major booty tonight," Shawn said happily. Hunter squeezed his hand as they walked side by side, swinging their arms back and forth. Some of the guys cast them knowing glances and even snickered as they walked by but they didn't care. They were back and better than ever. Bigger than ever and they be damned if anyone or anything would stand in their way.

"Oh of course my little Shawny. Don't we always?"

"Yeah but it still feels weird," he said sadly. Shawn turned to his partner staring down at the floor.

"Oh Shawny please look at me. Tell me what's wrong?" He cupped Shawn's face tenderly.

"It's just that, Hunt, every time we form DX something bad happens and we're forced to separate."

"That's not true Shawny!" he exclaimed. "We don't always have bad luck." Shawn placed his hands on his hips frowning.

"Oh yeah right. Don't you remember my back injury?" Hunter scratched his head.

"Yeah but…"

"And what about the night you gave me the pedigree?"

"Well I didn't mean…"

"And your knee injury took us out the last time." Shawn's eyes suddenly welled with tears. He grabbed Hunter, clinging to him and just sobbed. "Oh Hunty! I just can't…I can't bear the thought of us being separated again! Who will I fight crime with? Who will I bake cookies for? I…I can't make good cookies but you eat them even though they taste like chocolate tomato dough."

"Oh Shawny don't cry. I promise to always be here for you and eat your cookies."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Both men pulled apart and turned to face the person that had interrupted their Kodak moment.

"Chris, what the hell do you want?" Hunter snapped. "Shouldn't you be somewhere practicing your stripper dance?"

"Yeah but I needed a break. The heels were killing me." Chris strutted up to the two tag partners with a smirk on his face. He was shirtless and was wearing some hideous looking trunks that were gold with black sequins. The sequins spelled out 'Bite Me' on his rear.

"So why are you here?" Shawn asked. He tried to sound angry but truth is, he was having a hard time concentrating on his anger because Chris looked pretty tasty. His body was all slick with oil and his hair was all spiked up. I bet I could run and slide across his body like a slip in slide. That would so turn me on… Shawn's finger went to his mouth and smack! "Ouch! What was that for Hunter?" Shawn rubbed the back of his hand glaring at his partner.

"You were about to start fantasizing about Chris."

"I was not!" he said hotly.

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Will you two assclowns shut the hell up? Gosh." He pushed his way in between the two arguing partners, trying hard not to think about how his ass was now firmly pressed up against Shawn's.

"Alright Chris. Get on with it!" Hunter growled.

"Okay. Well…ahem. So yeah. I just thought I'd warn you Hunter that you probably shouldn't have Shawn with you all the time. In fact I think…Oh man…" he moaned. Chris closed his eyes for a second before opening them again. Hunter quirked a brow at him but Chris waved it off.

"Uh…does my being close to you make you uncomfortable?" Hunter asked.

"No, no, no," Chris said quickly. "It's fine. I mean…oh damn…" All of a sudden Shawn giggled making Hunter angry again.

"Shawn, are you bothering Chris?" Shawn pouted.

"Not my fault his ass is pressed against mine," he grumbled. Hunter pushed Chris aside irritably.

"Get to the point Chris before you're raped!"

"Oh yeah. Um…about you two. If you two team up, bad things will start happening. The Wrestling Gods don't like it when you have more than one partner."

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean? I only have one partner and that's Shawn."

"Hunter you have another partner that you used to use all the time. Now that DX is back, you tossed him aside like a rag doll and the Gods will get you for it." Chris moved behind Shawn and grabbed his hips rubbing against him. The blonde only giggled at the sudden action. "You know Hunter, if you let me take Shawn off your hands then you won't be punished by the Wrestling Gods."

"What? I don't believe in the Wrestling Gods!" Shawn clasped his hand over his mouth.

"Hunty! How dare you! The Wrestling Gods are what got us here in the first place. You should apologize now!" he scolded.

"I will NOT apologize because there is no such thing!"

"Fine then. Come on Chris." Shawn grabbed Chris' hand walking away from Hunter. "Until you ask the Gods to forgive you, I will not be your partner. I don't want to risk losing you for good. If I lose you, then who's going to eat my tomato chocolate chip cookies?" Chris opened his mouth to respond but then closed it just as quickly, feeling slightly sick in the stomach. What the hell kind of cookie is that? It sounds hypocritical. Yek! Who wants a cookie with an identity crisis?

"Are you just going to leave with Chris? Are you dumping me? What if a crime is committed Shawn? Are you really going to make me fight alone?"

"Hunter you better go repent less you be judged!" Chris yelled before running out of the arena with Shawn.

~~~00~~~

Hunter ended up leaving the arena alone. While on his way back to his hotel room, he called Shawn several times but each time Shawn hung up on him. What nonsense! There's no such thing as Wrestling Gods! Well…unless you count JBL but he's no God if he looks that bad in trunks! When Hunter finally reached his hotel room, he locked himself inside and headed straight for the shower. Hunter put on his favorite Jonas Brother's CD so he could sing while washing.

"I'm burnin' up…burnin' up for you baby! Dom! Dom! Dom! Dom!" Hunter giggled as he held the body wash, singing into it like a mic. He swayed his hips getting lost in the soothing sound of his favorite male voices, though he'd never tell Shawn or Jeff that. CRASH! BOOM! CLUNCK CLUNCK! Hunter almost slipped and fell in the shower the noise scared him so badly. He turned the water off then slowly drew the curtain back.

"Oh noes!" What he saw made him want to cry. His boom box was lying in the floor all smashed to pieces along with all of his favorite CDs. There was a huge crack down the middle of the Jonas Brother's jewel case, right between Joe Jonas' perfect face. "Oh no! What have I done to deserve this?" Tears fell down Hunter's face as he scrambled to pick up the remains of his CDs. He said a silent prayer in their memory before tossing the pieces into the trash. What a night! First I lose my partner. Then I lose my jerk off music. What's next? Hunter angrily crawled into bed hoping sleep would help him forget about all his mishaps.

"You've been neglecting me Hunter." Hunter quickly sat up, his eyes searching the room.

"I…I know I heard a voice," he said to himself.

"That's because you did Hunter." Hunter glanced all around the room but everything there was inanimate. There a small table in one corner with two chairs and a dressed a few feet in front of the bed. On the dresser was a TV. Hunter wondered if the TV was somehow broken so he eased out of bed to go and check it. He beat the top of it a few times then hit the 'power' button. The TV wouldn't even come on. Hmmm…that's strange. So where's the damn voice coming from? "HUNTER! LOOK AT ME!" the voice growled. Hunter jumped. It sounded like the Joker from The Dark Knight and Hunter was terribly afraid of him. The Joker reminded him of clowns and he hated clowns.

"Please," Hunter pleaded. "Where…where are you? Why are you torturing me?"

"Behind you." Hunter quickly turned around to see a sledgehammer standing there. It was standing straight up on it's wooden handle supposedly staring at him.

"Uh…is this some kind of bad joke?"

"I don't believe it is. You see me standing here don't you?" Hunter looked around the room nervously trying to find some sort of reasonable explanation.

"Okay. I'm going to bed. This is too much for me." Hunter turned to leave when all of a sudden he was knocked forward on his stomach. "Hey! What gives?!" He tried to push himself up off the floor but it was too strong. Mr. Sledgehammer placed his cool, steel head at Hunter's ear and hissed softly.

"Chris tried to warn you Hunter but you wouldn't listen! If you would have just asked the Gods to forgive you then I wouldn't have to do this."

"This…this is crazy! You can't talk! You're a fucking hammer for Christ's sake." The sledgehammer laughed loudly.

"It's Mr. Sledgehammer to you mister and no, Christ won't help you this time. It is only the wrestling Gods and until you apologize for neglecting me, your former partner, then you will suffer the wrath of the Gods," he cackled.

"Oh really? And just what do the Gods have in store for me?" All of a sudden Hunter's short's disappeared leaving him butt naked. He soon felt something cold touch the back of his hiney making him jump. "Oh God please no! I'm…I can't…I won't let you violate me! I'm a top! A top dammit! Shawn's the happy bottom not me!" he yelled but his cries were all in vain.

"God can't help you Hunter," the hammer sang. "I am going to straighten you out, hammer you good until you cry out to the wrestling Gods." Hunter's screams pierced the night but by the end of it, he was no longer doubting the Wrestling Gods. And he never would again…at least until he could call an exorcist to get rid of the demon in his sledgehammer.